FeelingLonely98 Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 OK - When the divorce seems imminent or is already over, what does the woman do with the diamond engagement ring? I'd love to hear from Betrayed Wives as well as Walk Away Wives &/or Cheating Wives. Why did you sell it or keep it? I know my STBXW has not yet sold hers and she is going thru really hard monetary times right now and could use the cash. Months ago when she walked away she kept it on her hand for a few weeks, then it was only the wedding band and then that was gone too. My gut feeling is she only put it on when she was about to meet me. Anyways, thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I gave my engagement ring to one of H's OW. She was broke, single mom, I was out of my mind. I regret it because...afterward, I found out she lived with her bf, was cheating on him, and had her kids taken away because of her drug related convictions. That was so dumb. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 My ex wife stuck me with all the shared debt. We were married less than two years. I asked for it back and sold it myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Share Posted December 11, 2009 I guess another question is who should get it? If the W is the cheater / liar / walker then should she return it to the man who bought it as a symbol of eternal union? Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I guess another question is who should get it? If the W is the cheater / liar / walker then should she return it to the man who bought it as a symbol of eternal union? In a way that was the attitude I took. However it was also because I was stuck with debt that we both racked up. She had no money so it was the only way to get anything out of her to help pay it off. Add the short duration of the marriage and I had few qualms about it. Hated to have to ask for it but I did anyway. FL your wife so far hasn't asked for anything at all financially right? You haven't been stuck with marital debt? Are you coming out ahead in that department? If so my gut would be to leave the ring issue alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 11, 2009 Author Share Posted December 11, 2009 In a way that was the attitude I took. However it was also because I was stuck with debt that we both racked up. She had no money so it was the only way to get anything out of her to help pay it off. Add the short duration of the marriage and I had few qualms about it. Hated to have to ask for it but I did anyway. FL your wife so far hasn't asked for anything at all financially right? You haven't been stuck with marital debt? Are you coming out ahead in that department? If so my gut would be to leave the ring issue alone. YES, you are right SD, I will never make an issue of the ring. She kept her debt, I kept all of my assets including the house, and she wants no alimony. HER CHOICE and REQUEST! Not mine. She just wanted to be a free 47 yr old woman in love with her 18 yr old HS bf. Because of her mind going wacjky I will keep everything. But she chose this and requested. I will never make any problem about the ring. If she sells it and it helps her then great. I was just curious about how the rings get handled. I mentioned it in my "CAt Sitting" thread and I thought it would be a good new thread. I imagine many WAWs keep it locked away and I wonder why? Sentimental reasons? If there is sentimental feelings then why walk? Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I gave my wedding band and engagement ring to the STBXH the day he left. He pawned them all for $45 so he could buy lottery tickets and play the slots....didn't win a damn thing. LOL!! Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I gave my wedding band and engagement ring to the STBXH the day he left. He pawned them all for $45 so he could buy lottery tickets and play the slots....didn't win a damn thing. LOL!! What a moron! Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I kept both rings...not sure what to do with them...I keep them in a vault at a bank due to the value...but I don't think I will ever sell them...I think maybe I'll have the diamonds taken out and build an exquisite bracelet...I have no sentimental feeings about them...I just like them a lot...and maybe because I was the one that cheated and left Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I gave my wedding band and engagement ring to the STBXH the day he left. He pawned them all for $45 so he could buy lottery tickets and play the slots....didn't win a damn thing. LOL!! u serious? $45 ? wtf Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 YES, you are right SD, I will never make an issue of the ring. She kept her debt, I kept all of my assets including the house, and she wants no alimony. HER CHOICE and REQUEST! Not mine. She just wanted to be a free 47 yr old woman in love with her 18 yr old HS bf. Because of her mind going wacjky I will keep everything. But she chose this and requested. I will never make any problem about the ring. If she sells it and it helps her then great. I was just curious about how the rings get handled. I mentioned it in my "CAt Sitting" thread and I thought it would be a good new thread. I imagine many WAWs keep it locked away and I wonder why? Sentimental reasons? If there is sentimental feelings then why walk? Engagement ring signifies a promise to marry.. if the marriage occurs then that promise has been honored regardless if the couple later divorces and the ring is then property of the wife. In the case of family heirloom rings it's generally considered a classy gesture to offer to return the ring if there are no children born of the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Aksion Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 My ex wife stuck me with all the shared debt. We were married less than two years. I asked for it back and sold it myself. Mine not only left me with the debt -- but took most of my money when she left. I'd never ask for them back, though the money would be nice right now, but hopefully she did what I did with my wedding band -- throw it in the garbage, well in my case, over a bridge into the bay as I was driving. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 What a moron! u serious? $45 ? wtf Yes, sad but true....my attorney told me that was my property and I should have kept it. Looking back now, it was more than worth it to give it back to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 I kept both rings...I just like them a lot...and maybe because I was the one that cheated and left Since you were the cheater it never occurred to you to give them back to him since you broke up the marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 Has any woman ever just sold it AFTER they walked out as the cheater? Not necessarily right away but soon. Link to post Share on other sites
El Ben Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 Since you were the cheater it never occurred to you to give them back to him since you broke up the marriage? Why should she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 14, 2009 Author Share Posted December 14, 2009 Why should she? IDK Mr. BEN????? IDK if they "should" do that or should even consider it......... I was just wondering if a cheater had a thought like wow I f*ck*d up a good M, I should at least give the ring back if he wants it. I would imagine most men at that point would refuse to take it back. In my case if my STBXW had offered it back (after what SHE did!) I would have taken it back. I gave it to her with a lifetime of commitment behind and she destroyed the M all on her won. Hmm, so I feel after her actions she gave up the right to keep it. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggotface Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 He was the one who left so I am keeping mine until I guess I move on and decide to sell it, as for now it and my wedding band sit in my jewlery box. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 14, 2009 Author Share Posted December 14, 2009 He was the one who left so I am keeping mine until I guess I move on and decide to sell it, as for now it and my wedding band sit in my jewlery box. Well when there is a WAH I agree that the W should keep it. I was referring to when there is a cheating WAW should SHE give it back to the H? Link to post Share on other sites
on1wheel Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Absolutely she SHOULDN'T get to keep it if she were the cheater. Engagement rings are a symbol of a man's undying love & a desire to spend the rest of his life witha woman. It is not a gift; therefore it should be taken back. I took mine back & sold it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Absolutely she SHOULDN'T get to keep it if she were the cheater. Engagement rings are a symbol of a man's undying love & a desire to spend the rest of his life witha woman. It is not a gift; therefore it should be taken back. I took mine back & sold it. That's kind of how I felt. My almost 50 yr old STBXW left a good M and good H - all for an affair and "true love" with an 18 yr old HS boy - so in my opinion the ring - a symbol of my eternal devotion to her - should be returned to me. (Yes, even though the STBXW left EVERYTHING to me I still feel this way. I am extremely fortunate but there is a higher symbolic meaning here than just monetary value.) You and I are in the minority on this one on1wheel, I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 We had matching wedding bands, each with 7 diamonds. After Dday, knowing that things wouldn't work out between us and because of anger, I took his and mine to the pawn shops. They were expensive rings! The most I could have got was a hundred bucks. So disappointing. I returned home with them and hid them away. When he noticed his was missing from his bedside drawer, he demanded it to be returned. When he got it back, he put it on his finger and said he would wear it until the day he leaves, which he did, when I was around anyway. I'm sure it was removed and put in his pocket when he was with the MOW. Yeah, he has it now. Mine is in my jewelery box in a little plastic baggie. I don't want it, don't want to sell it and don't want to throw it away. It's just there. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Engagement ring is a monetary symbol of an agreement to wed. If they wed, the ring becomes a gift to who accepted it and followed through with the agreement to wed. If the guy gave the ring and breeched the agreement, the girl keeps the ring. If the girl breeched the agreement, she gives it back. A wedding ring is a monetary symbol of an agreement to keep the wedding vows. Most cases the wedding rings are a joint purchase by both parties. If the vows are not kept and the couple divorce, the person being left could receive both if they were the one who purchased both. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but that is how claims courts have settled it. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 We had matching wedding bands, each with 7 diamonds. After Dday, knowing that things wouldn't work out between us and because of anger, I took his and mine to the pawn shops. They were expensive rings! The most I could have got was a hundred bucks. Well if you ever want to sell them find a jeweler who does consignments. Pawn shops will always low low low ball. I was able to recoup 75% of the purchase price of the diamond from my ex wife's engagement ring this way. Takes a lot longer but worth it. Not sure how it would work out for wedding bands though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FeelingLonely98 Posted December 16, 2009 Author Share Posted December 16, 2009 Well if you ever want to sell them find a jeweler who does consignments. Pawn shops will always low low low ball. I was able to recoup 75% of the purchase price of the diamond from my ex wife's engagement ring this way. Takes a lot longer but worth it. Not sure how it would work out for wedding bands though. Doesn't the diamond itself have a certain monetary market value? Say if it was bought for $3000 and mounted on a ring, shouldn't the rock still have most or all or more of it's original value? Do they depreciate? Link to post Share on other sites
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