Devil Inside Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 MSUE As a former cocaine addict, do you think it sounds like my BF is using again? He seems the exact same to me. Wouldn't I notice personality changes right after? What are some ways that I can tell? ALso, I was wondering if you had some insight about when I mentioned that a man approached us with a white substance on his shirt and said my BF did it. How is that possible? I just can't figure it out. Also, how much does cocaine cost? Like a small amount I wondering about. I just don't see $ coming up missing but he has taken me to this druggie bar for a drink a few times in the past month and every time he goes to the bathroom shortly after we arrive (for the record my BF pees like a 90 year old man). But when he comes out he acts the exact same to me. Any insight would be very helpful. Thank you! Right after he has used he may seem more alert. He may seem happier. He may seem paranoid. There are many indicators. However, it is different for everybody. It depends on how much he has used, his tolerance, the way his body reacts to coke, how much of an addict he is, time since last time he used, what other drugs are alcohol are in his system, and many other things. So, to sum up, there are no universal signs that he is using, in fact if he is in deep you will probably notice more when he is coming down. As far as money, it doesn't take much to keep a small habit going. He may have a small stash that he funds somehow just for his coke. He may be stealing things and selling them, or even selling some coke on the side to fund his habit. Addicts are masters of manipulation. When I was using I worked full time and everybody would have been shocked to know what I was doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 i think you guys are missing the point! even if its WRONG for him to do coke, or any drugs, it doesn't make it RIGHT for you to play detective.. obviously, it doesn't really matter whether he's using or not, because YOU'RE dissatisfied with the relationship.. drugs, or no drugs! ****, people! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Confused728 Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 i think sometimes u have to play detective to prove to yourself that your making the right decision.. other wise you always wonder.. Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 i think sometimes u have to play detective to prove to yourself that your making the right decision.. other wise you always wonder.. as reasonable as that sounds, no. when my girlfriend was cheating on me over and over and over again i did that.. you'll never be %100 certain.. this might be hard to hear, but if they've lost your trust its over, whether your fears are founded or unfounded. also, have you considered that it might be wrong for you to keep him from making his own decisions, as hard as that may be? controlling others is wrong. i guess i wanted you to hear my better point without writing me off, but there you go. its his body, his mind, and you need to move on! Link to post Share on other sites
Confused728 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 peaceful what do u think of the text messages he sent me? Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 peaceful what do u think of the text messages he sent me? i think they were hurtful.. and i think you might have said some hurtful things too.. why do you care what i think about the text messages? i gotta say, i popped in this thread real quick because of the thread title.. and my answer to that is YES.. not because its wrong to do drugs, not because its wrong for you to not want to be involved with someone who does drugs.. but because.. well, like i said before, you have trust issues here.. the more i learn about this relationship the less healthy i think it is.. its not okay to be controlling of this guy but more importantly.. he deserves better, and you deserve better.. for each of you respectively.. do you see what im saying? this isnt a moral issue.. flat out, you're BOTH wrong if you're gonna look at it that way.. and will be until you move forward.. i don't want to continue posting here or even reading this thread because of how judgmental you guys are being.. drug users are just people, sober people are just people, the mentally handicapped are just people, and able bodied are just people.. everyone has to make their own decisions but those decisions don't make us less human.. and that's the vibe i get from you guys.. can i make this guy scum in my mind? can i treat this person poorly for the decisions he makes? no, you have to use your own free will to make your own choices, and be at peace with others.. k? im leaving. p.s. don't you dare make a joke about drug users being like the mentally handicapped, because that's exactly what im talking about.. people are just people, and your no better than anyone else! what's really going on here is your holding on to a relationship that's run its course.. i know this might have come off as harsh, but i think you needed to hear it! Link to post Share on other sites
Confused728 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Well i dont think my relationship has run its course at all we only had problems with this. I belive it is a huge moral issue, when your a 35 year old guy and work in a goverment postion of esteem, wich i wont go into details as to what he and his freinds do for work as i dont want to get myself into anything but it is a huge moral issue. And for sake of my own life and my not being dragged into a possible court case if anything came of this, im not typing everthing. But when your in a postion of authority and your getting a young 19 year old kid into drugs and setting him up for a life of addiction thats a problem and a huge moral issue, when you allow your freinds in your car knowing they have drugs and your signifigant other doesnt approve and he puts u in danger of being arrested and charged with possesion because he doesnt want to stick up to his freinds, when you invite your freinds over your house and they do coke in the bathroom, with a baby and a brother and family upstairs that doesnt know whats going on, thats a moral issue. I see it as plain evil. When you start choosing evil drug dealers over a good moral person who cares about people thats a moral issue. I said nothing wrong in those text but try to be good and helpful, I am not controling, a controling person usally does negative things, im trying to help him relize whats going on. He deserves better? He deserves someone who cares enough to cover up for them. Drug users are somewhat handicap if they cant give up their addiction to have a healthy life and not allow that stuff around they have a deep underlying mental issues that need to be addressed. I know it might be a bit harsh for you to understand or grasp this but to defend this kind of behavior is beyond me Link to post Share on other sites
Malenfant Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Well i dont think my relationship has run its course at all we only had problems with this. I belive it is a huge moral issue, when your a 35 year old guy and work in a goverment postion of esteem, wich i wont go into details as to what he and his freinds do for work as i dont want to get myself into anything but it is a huge moral issue. And for sake of my own life and my not being dragged into a possible court case if anything came of this, im not typing everthing. But when your in a postion of authority and your getting a young 19 year old kid into drugs and setting him up for a life of addiction thats a problem and a huge moral issue, when you allow your freinds in your car knowing they have drugs and your signifigant other doesnt approve and he puts u in danger of being arrested and charged with possesion because he doesnt want to stick up to his freinds, when you invite your freinds over your house and they do coke in the bathroom, with a baby and a brother and family upstairs that doesnt know whats going on, thats a moral issue. I see it as plain evil. When you start choosing evil drug dealers over a good moral person who cares about people thats a moral issue. I said nothing wrong in those text but try to be good and helpful, I am not controling, a controling person usally does negative things, im trying to help him relize whats going on. He deserves better? He deserves someone who cares enough to cover up for them. Drug users are somewhat handicap if they cant give up their addiction to have a healthy life and not allow that stuff around they have a deep underlying mental issues that need to be addressed. I know it might be a bit harsh for you to understand or grasp this but to defend this kind of behavior is beyond me confused, Peacefull isnt attacking you. Look, this is going to sound a bit harsh but... you guy doesnt want you to save him. he knows what he's doing. he's made his choices. the only thing you cant grasp is that those choices he's made arent to listen to you. its like being preached to, no-one wants that, and why do you want to be with someone you think is so morally corrupt anyway? Try and understand that its not your decision to be made about how he behaves. its up to him. he has to make his own mistakes and possibly suffer any consequence. the only decision you can make is if you want to be there for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts