april12 Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 [font=arial][/font][color=darkred][/color]I met and started dating a man about 8 months ago--I have never met a man that I have had this much in common with--we will be pursuing the same masters program in the fall. The story goes like this--we dated for about 2 months before I went to Europe for 6 weeks he met me while I was there--The experience was magical--but it also scared the crap out of both of us so when I got back we decided to chill and try to just be friends--that worked for a while but the feelings and the connection did not leave--he began to pull away all together--then I announced that I had to pull away to that I wanted to date other people and that I needed for us to just be friends. We tried this, I met another man and dated him for a while and I think he dated a little too. For the last two months I was seeing both men but only involved intimately with one--the one that I was in the relationship with--Feelings began to intensify between us and we began to spend nearly every day and nite together--this was so frightening to me-- and last week I totally ran--I created this ridiculous drama where I went to talk to him at 7 am and told him I couldn't do this any more--He tried to call all day, I wouldn't take his calls--when we finally did talk he said he agreed and told me that even though he loves me he can't make a commitment to me now. I immediately began to regret the way I did this and I told him so. He thinks we should try to just clean break from each other--Problem is I love him and I ran because I was so afraid--I totally stopped seeing the other guy but it seems too late for the man that I love and I to fix this. He doesn't want to talk anymore and said we should take time awany from each other---I miss him. Do you think there is hope--what do I do to make this right. April Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted December 18, 2003 Share Posted December 18, 2003 Whatever you were afraid of -- is it still a factor? I wouldn't want to commit to someone who runs out of fear - it would be darn hard for me to trust that person again -- what if they get afraid of something else? From now on maybe you should Face your fears, communicate, and work through it or make an informed decision together. Maybe a clean break is the right thing to do -- you don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author april12 Posted December 19, 2003 Author Share Posted December 19, 2003 Thanks for your response, The fear I felt was directly related to the intensity of the connection that I feel to this person. I am a single mom and I haven't dated in a while--You are correct, I should have talked to him first and communicated how I was feeling--I have certainly learned from this situation. Thanks again for your response and as the saying goes--If it is meant to be it will be. Link to post Share on other sites
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