Boyfriend sleeps on couch

[Lex]

My boyfriend and I moved into together about six months ago and our relationship has been a mess since. At the time he was down from being fired from a job and having me support him but at the time I didn't mind because I thought we were meant to be. While I was working and he wasn't he'd stay up late watching t.v. while he fell asleep on the couch. Now he's been working for almost three months and he's still sleeping on the couch. Our sex life is practically nothing and we never go out and have a good time. We fight constantly because I feel like he's a guest in our apartment instead of my boyfriend and him sleeping with me in bed once a week if I'm lucky doesn't seem acceptable. It make's me feel ugly and disgusting everyday. Plus I wake up throughout the night seeing the t.v. flashing and then I hust wake up angry and disappointed. I'm at the point where I want to leave him, but I do love him. All the fighting has caused my friends and family to dislike him and his friends and family dislike me. What should we/I do?

[Tony T]

It really doesn't sound like you have a relationship. I don't doubt you have some feelings of love for him and you may even be in love with him, but it takes a lot more than that to have a fulfilling life with someone.

 

You need to have a talk, NOT AN ARGUMENT, and just tell him exactly how you feel. If you can't come to some agreements, compromises, changes in behavior, etc. that are satisfactory to both of you and that will be lasting in nature, you will have to leave this situation.

 

You may find he's still under a lot of stress. Humans are very complicated. There may even be some things in his past that are bothering him, consciously or subconsciously. You don't have to be bothered with his problems because only he can deal with them and work them out. You don't have to be a victim of his past stuff.

 

It is your responsiblity to get to the bottom of this, make this living situation more to your liking or move on.

 

ONE, just ONE more talk and that's it. If things don't change, you have only one more decision. Which moving company to hire. Oh, yes, the two of you may have to decide which of the two of you is going to move.

[magicklady]

What you have is a one sided relationship that will never work ot.. I would say more than anything you are afraid to leave your comfort zone.. we get used to things even if they are bad, they are familiar. You should not wake up every morning Angry... that is not love.... Love makes you happy to be alive.. You need to get out on your own and find someone who loves you truly... that you will "Wake Up Beside" every morning.. .this guy is being really selfish not admitting to you how he is really feeling about the relationship... He doesn't want to be in it any more than you do.. you need to sit down with him and talk and if you can't get the answer's you need it is time to move on!