Help! Why do men talk about other women..??

[paddington bear]

Where in the world do you get "insecurity" in a guy, just because of all this reference to other women?

 

 

and in answer to your original question:

 

"Why do men talk about other women..?? "

 

- Because you don't typically want to hear about fishing reels, baseball cards, draft beers, and batting averages.

 

I guess it's the equivalent of girls talking to guys about girl stuff. I try not to blab on about whatever crap I'd speak freely to girls about because men's eyes just glaze over.

 

Maybe guys point out to other guys repeatedly the hot girls around, but when you are with your girlfriend you have to remember that she's not a male buddy and it may hurt her to hear how wonderful every other woman on the planet is - especially if he's not so forthcoming with the same compliments to his actual girlfriend, and only about random women.

[tami-chan]

He wants you to know that you should feel lucky that he chose you over those gorgeous women he knows. Are you confident about how you look? Maybe tell him, that you feel better knowing that you are in good company and tell him that it would have been so insulting to you if his exes' were homely. Or dump him. Why suffer through that? Too many men, only one you....

[Jersey Shortie]

I completely agree with Pink Cupcake as well.

 

Male and female insecurity don't show themselves the same way.

 

It's easier to tell you you are insecure and need to fix yourself then it is to fix himself and work on his own unattractive behavior. What he doesn't realize is that he is driving you away. Which is really sad for him but a common mistake many men make.

[2sunny]

bottom line is - he does it because he's mean. he knows it bothers you and he continues to do it... that is just plain mean.

[You'reasian]

Sit with him. Get his attention. Have a talk about how this makes you feel - keep it short, sweet and to the point. He will listen. When the speech is over, confirm that he understands, put your arms around him and start making out lol

Edited December 14, 2009 by You'reasian

[Pink Cupcakes]

I think that the way to really get back at a man who does that is not to point out other good looking guys, but to mention all the time how successful careerwise other men are that you know, such as someone at work. Charlie is so smart and driven...and very successful at what he does. Ben is extremely talented and gets a lot of accolades for his success.

Do this when the guy is talking about HIS work. Make sure the guys you mention are more successful careerwise and financially than your boyfriend.

Jeff, this guy I dated before you, he is so smart and talented, he could solve this work-related dilemma you're talking about in a jiffy, it wouldn't be any problem whatsoever for him. You need to get some guy like Jeff to work in your office.

Get this guy where his balls are.

[tami-chan]

ahhhh,...the games people play....seriously, why bother?

[Jersey Shortie]

Agree with Pink Cupcake again!

[tami-chan]

Agree with Pink Cupcake again!

 

so you would perpetuate the mind games? why? why not just dump the loser?

[You'reasian]

so you would perpetuate the mind games? why? why not just dump the loser?

 

I agree with tami-chan. Don't perpetuate the game. Stop it. Give yourself some distance. Keep things light and friendly. If the other person is serious, they know how to contact you.

[Jersey Shortie]

Tami, if the OP doesn't want to dump him, it can be a powerful motivator to give someone a shot of their own medicine.

[D-Lish]

I understand why this would be disconcerting to you- if you've told him how you feel and he's not listening- It might be time to end the relationship.

 

I had a first date last week and the guy kept referring to one of his co-workers as being "ridiculously hot". It was a huge turn off for me. I have no desire to go out with him again because of it.

 

It's not like I don't find other men attractive- but I would never announce it to a date or a bf. To me it's like a deliberate attempt to make the other person feel insecure.

[AliveAndKicking]

I made the horrible mistake of speaking about other women early in my last relationship.

 

I did it to hold my gal at arm's length as she came on very fast and strong very early in the relationship. I was overwhelmed by the pressure she put on me so I did it to sort of push her back a step or two. It wasn't a conscious decision on my part; It is only in hindisght that I was able to recognise my motive. Had I been more aware I certainly would have discussed it with her rather than acting out as I did.

 

Once she brought it to my attention I looked at myself, realized what I was doing and why I was doing it, and never did it again. When she told me how poorly it made her feel I felt two inches tall and was really embarassed/ashamed of myself. I really didn't do it consciously and I was shocked at my behavior because I am typically very self-aware. It creeped me out to recognize that I was "one of those guys". Ugh!

 

I still get very upset with myself for having done that as it hurt her feelings.

 

I only did it a few times but to this day she uses it as her excuse for every bad behavior on her part even years later. That is a whole 'nother topic. Had I never done it she would have found some other excuse to justify her horrible behavior and mistreatment of me. Still, though, I wish I'd have never done it as I try very hard to be a gentleman and to be honorable in my actions.

 

Good topic!