ultimatebetrayal Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 I am in the process of splitting up from my husband ,unfortunately he cant afford to move out until our house is sold and the equity is split. Has anyone experienced this and how did you get through the holiday period?especially when the kids are involved also my concern is if the house takes a long time to sell. Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 im so sorry you are in this situation. Is your separation amicable? if it is than I am sure you can muddle through. Keep conversation to a minimum and consentrate on your children. I too have to sell my home but luckly for me my lowley worm has moved out. keep posting x Link to post Share on other sites
ann09 Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 Yes I'm going thru something similar. My H doesn't want to move out until everything is "settled" and we know if we're selling our house or not. Its not easy but we get along fairly well and it's peaceful. Living like roommates pretty much. For the time being anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Boundary Problem Posted December 14, 2009 Share Posted December 14, 2009 I went through that, but not during a holiday period. I think that you are in that "quasi-separation" period where it is really awkward. I would say the rules of thumb are 1. Insist on treating each other with respect; 2. Try to minimize time spent with each other because emotions are running high; 3. Encourage him to maybe take the kids to his family for xmas on one day and you take the kids to the other side of the family on another day. May as well start out the way you mean to continue. It is a good time to start going through the closets and putting stuff in boxes for "him" or "her". Dividing up the household contents. Plus when the house sells it is easier to put the boxes in the garage so not so much clutter in the house. I wouldn't host a party for xmas. Too much stress in the house. Take the kids out and have some fun. Life has to continue for the kids, even if you are falling apart and wondering why he is so difficult. Just because you and your H are parting ways, doesn't mean you aren't still a "family". It is up to you how you want to define that. You have a lot more control here than you realize. Move into the power vaccuum and make decisions that work for you and the kids. Don't wait for him to make up his mind. And do not let the extended family make any of the decisions. You make the decisions. You know best what your family needs. It is a really tough time and it isn't easy. Try to avoid the kids meeting new partners until the two households are sorted out etc. Link to post Share on other sites
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