how to get laid in college

[Mikki Mars]

I always hear about guys who get laid, this person had sex with that person, and I am not dumb, and know that sex does not only happen with boyfriends and girlfriends. There are guys who "get a ton of ass," who "get laid," and I wanna be one of them.

 

My only real physical quirk (yes this is understatement) is that I'm 5'2'', tho I have seen other profoundly short guys be successful with women. I will admit I'm a virgin, and have never even been in a relationship before. My only hookups were this one at a party senior year in high school, and in a club on 9/20/09(my first since I came to this school in Fall 2008, tho I was not here Spring 2009). I am intelligent, friendly, athletic (enough), musically talented (at guitar tho I'm not in a band), and can be funny and witty. I also dress pretty well, I typically wear polos, blue jeans, brown loafers, and this $260 Patagonia black fleece jacket I just got.

 

What is it that these other guys do that gets them the ability to be known and to actually get laid and have sex with multiple women in their college careers? Also, how do you get a one night stand? I wanna get laid, and I am sick of not feeling like a real person!!!

Edited December 14, 2009 by Mikki Mars

[Samari]

You don't sound like you are a very confident person. Especially since you're posting a forum about something as unimportant as this. I'll be honest, being 5'2'' is certainly a knock, but not the end of the world. I mean...do you talk to women at all? And if so, how do you talk to them? What do you believe your problem is?

[Mikki Mars]

You don't sound like you are a very confident person. Especially since you're posting a forum about something as unimportant as this. I'll be honest, being 5'2'' is certainly a knock, but not the end of the world. I mean...do you talk to women at all? And if so, how do you talk to them? What do you believe your problem is?

 

Well I'll admit I was awful with women in HS, but I graduated HS in 2007, and came to my current college in September 2008. I originally tried to talk to girls whenever I saw them, but I realized I was crossing that line between being creepy and social. I didn't make any friends of either sex in 2008 at my school. So I didn't come Spring, and came back this semester, which just ended. However, I did just make my first female friend ever (she is hot), tho she has a boyfriend, I just befriended her anyway, tho I didn't hang out with her until last weekend, which was 3 months since I first met her, when I was at a club and she recognized me there. We did have a bunch of after class walk-together convos in the last few weeks and before thanksgiving break. I also sat with her at lunch too. But I still sometimes have trouble getting girls to talk to me after I tried to talk to them. I want to know when to talk to them, how to get them to hang out, etc. I do understand having a group of friends is a massive help to get girls to hang out, tho I don't have a group of friends yet. I joined a frat, so it gives me something to talk about and to have as an identity, tho I'm not terribly close to anyone in the frat. Sometimes I think I may try too hard, but I worry if I don't try at all, I could also get nowhere. So what do I do? I'm on break now. Tho I am thinking of trying to get my OL to hang out, she lives where I live, but I am scared if she says no, we may never actually be friends. How long do I and a girl have to be talking to get her to hang out? My OL is in with the in-crowd, which I am aspiring to do.

 

So how do I get girls to be friends at least but not try too hard? I do have one girl, tho I wanna see how her friends thought of me when I hung out in their room last weekend, I didn't come with anyone. What happened was she asked me if I was drinking, I didn't sound too like "invite me!" to her, tho I called her, she said she and her friends were going out, I was like "ok," but later she texted me saying they weren't. She called, I didn't answer the first time. She called again, I did answer, claim I was going out. Then I came unannounced. I was thinking I played the game right that time. I do think there are some guys I may be friendly enough to hang out with next semester, so should I use this to one time invite her to hang out, she can bring her friends? But there are times where I have tried too hard or gone too fast. Someone gave me advice that the turnaround with girls is 3 months, actually a few people. But I wanna get to the point where I'm "cool," where girls are attracted to be with me. I'm not terrible looking, tho yes my height worries me at times, tho I go around as if it doesn't exist.

[Pizzaman81]

Do what i did, looked for an apartment with 3 girl roommates. BUt don't do what I did, one of them became my girlfriend. That was a disaster. Word of advice, if that happens, move out.

[Samari]

Well I'll admit I was awful with women in HS, but I graduated HS in 2007, and came to my current college in September 2008. I originally tried to talk to girls whenever I saw them, but I realized I was crossing that line between being creepy and social. I didn't make any friends of either sex in 2008 at my school. So I didn't come Spring, and came back this semester, which just ended. However, I did just make my first female friend ever (she is hot), tho she has a boyfriend, I just befriended her anyway, tho I didn't hang out with her until last weekend, which was 3 months since I first met her, when I was at a club and she recognized me there. We did have a bunch of after class walk-together convos in the last few weeks and before thanksgiving break. I also sat with her at lunch too. But I still sometimes have trouble getting girls to talk to me after I tried to talk to them. I want to know when to talk to them, how to get them to hang out, etc. I do understand having a group of friends is a massive help to get girls to hang out, tho I don't have a group of friends yet. I joined a frat, so it gives me something to talk about and to have as an identity, tho I'm not terribly close to anyone in the frat. Sometimes I think I may try too hard, but I worry if I don't try at all, I could also get nowhere. So what do I do? I'm on break now. Tho I am thinking of trying to get my OL to hang out, she lives where I live, but I am scared if she says no, we may never actually be friends. How long do I and a girl have to be talking to get her to hang out? My OL is in with the in-crowd, which I am aspiring to do.

 

So how do I get girls to be friends at least but not try too hard? I do have one girl, tho I wanna see how her friends thought of me when I hung out in their room last weekend, I didn't come with anyone. What happened was she asked me if I was drinking, I didn't sound too like "invite me!" to her, tho I called her, she said she and her friends were going out, I was like "ok," but later she texted me saying they weren't. She called, I didn't answer the first time. She called again, I did answer, claim I was going out. Then I came unannounced. I was thinking I played the game right that time. I do think there are some guys I may be friendly enough to hang out with next semester, so should I use this to one time invite her to hang out, she can bring her friends? But there are times where I have tried too hard or gone too fast. Someone gave me advice that the turnaround with girls is 3 months, actually a few people. But I wanna get to the point where I'm "cool," where girls are attracted to be with me. I'm not terrible looking, tho yes my height worries me at times, tho I go around as if it doesn't exist.

Honestly I think you're worrying way too much. The length of your post dictates that. Also how you're chronicling every single detail with interactions with the girl you have befriended. You're far too concerned with who, where, when, and how. I understand your concern, but it isn't necessary. I used to be just like you a couple of years ago, and I'm probably only two years older than you are. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and honestly it was just like everyone said it would be. I met her when I least expected it at the most unlikely place: a drawing workshop. And yes she's hot.

 

I'm not sure how you act around girls, but it seems like you need to calm down. Act casual, don't talk too much about your self, or don't talk too much in general. It's better to be a listener more so. Even if you start a conversation with a girl initially...if you get a good conversation going, let the girl do the talking. This way you'll know if things are going anywhere. You don't want your interaction with any woman to be like an interview where you're just asking questions and they're saying one word answers like "yes" or "no"...and they aren't asking you any questions. Something else to keep in mind is if you talk to a girl...and you feel like the conversation is going nowhere, just bail. Make an excuse or something and bolt. You don't want to be the guy that is desperate and hanging on to whatever little chance there is to get to know a girl...especially when she doesn't show any interest in you. No woman is above any man, and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

If I could sum up my advice in one word, it would be: relax. Be patient, act like a normal person when talking to any girl like you would anyone else and you'll be fine. Took me a while to learn that surprisingly. Dudes complicate the procedure way too much sometimes. And it's good that you go around not worrying about your height.

Edited December 15, 2009 by Samari

[Ross PK]

Could be the clothes, no offence but they sound a bit bland and unstylish looking. Unless, everyone else dresses the same at your college.

[Miko]

Get in a band!!!!

[purgatori]

Hire a prostitute, given that clearly all you want a woman for is sex. Don't add 'cheap' to 'being a jerk.'

[Bollocks]

Well mate, I think a good first step is to stop defining yourself as not a "real" person because you haven't had sex yet.

 

I am a current undergrad, and for my first couple of years lived in an EXTREMELY social environment: a cooperative student run house with 130 people. I moved in a virgin, so you can imagine in addition to the other anxieties of moving away from home and being a new freshman, losing my virginity was on my mind.

 

I love social interactions and good ****ing conversations with anyone, so I was pretty confused when I would meet these badass older cooper girls (beautifully inked, roll their own cigarettes, Bukowski quoting types, smokin hot- just how I love em) and be completely "deer in the headlights" when trying to add any sort of intimate angle to the rapport.

 

So I made it a personal mission of mine to figure this "game" out. I began reading (english major habit) a LOT- Neil Strauss, Conquer your Campus, Casanova etc. and making friends with those 20% of dudes in college that seem to have 80% of the sex.

 

I learned a lot, mostly fluff (so much ****ing money to be made in making material for the "PUA" community), and some kernels of good advice.

 

Advice in general:

 

If you act like a rockstar, you get treated like a rockstar.

 

Possibly more than any other time in their lives, college girls want to experiment, have fun, and live whatever fantasy is important to them. If you are a part of that fantasy, or help create it for them- you win. You're worried about being 5'2"? Psssh! NAPOLEON and ALEXANDER THE GREAT were both supposed to be 5'2". Lord Byron, one of the history's great womanizers ever, had a club foot.

 

DRINK:

 

Hypothetical utopia: One where men and women seek to change each other's minds, not moods, and create rational relationships.

 

Reality: People are shy. Alcohol helps smoothen out those rough edges. Alcohol is even more pervasive on the college scene than others.

 

Sadly but honestly, the difference between me being a nice and articulate guy who for some reason never gets laid and me being a nice and articulate guy who starting getting laid had a direct correlation to me drinking at parties. People just feel more comfortable drunk, especially young people. Maybe humans will wake the **** up from the alcohol induced stuptor someday. I'm not saying you can't get laid and not drink, but if you are just "trying to get laid in college", its a hellova lot easier when you've got a couple of cold ones down the hatch already and are handing out simpler times like party favors.

 

When you are at a college party, make sure your primary objective is to have fun. Seriously, if you are having a great ****ing time at a party, and the people around you are as well, things will fall into place. Remember, having a GREAT time is generally part of everyone's fantasy.

 

TOUCHING. A big problem for me was figuring this out. You see, I grew up in a family where even hugging was a rarity, so any physical interaction with anyone else besides handshakes was thought out on my part. This addtional thinking added to the awkwardness of it, and then the awkwardness added to my anxiety about it, and my anxiety made me even more awkward...

 

As you can see, a negative feedback loop can easily be created here. The thing to do IMHO is just to assume casually touching is okay unless it CLEARLY makes them feel uncomfortable. An actually chill girl with have the confidence to TELL YOU if they feel your touching is inappropiate, and still have a conversation with you as a person, not a pervert.

 

I made myself more comfortable by starting with hugs. Anyone and everyone, unless it was business. Full on hug if you haven't seen them in a while, perhaps a casual Christian side hug if you just went to bring them another beer or sommat.

 

Next: footsie and arm touching. An easy way to flirt and show interest is to playfully poke someone to call them out on something dorky or cute they just said in conversation. Perhaps a touch on the wrist or arm when it seems appropiate- let the social intuition take over. Keep it casual. If you act like it is not a big deal, its not.

 

Upgrade: A quick playing with hair/ scalp massage can be cute. Or if you've known the girl a little bit ambushing them with a hug from behind can be effective. Which brings us to

 

The Next Level: Tickling/wrestling. If a college girl responds well to you tickling them or wrestling with them IT IS ON.

 

This is getting terribly rambly, so I'll conclude here with one final note.

 

YOU PLAY GUITAR:

 

Step 1: Learn something acoustic, popular, but still classy. Like Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here"

 

Step 2: Grow your hair out so it sways with emotion at particular passionate moments in the music when you play.

 

Step 3: Go out and conquer.

[purgatori]

Step 3: Go out and conquer.

 

With this sort of attitude, it won't matter how many women you sleep with: you'll still be a tosser.

[Bollocks]

Oi mate. He started a thread with the goal of "getting laid in college". I would've had a different response had it been "having a meaningful relationship with someone in college" or "personal improvement in college".

 

Gotta use the right tools for the job.

[TaraMaiden]

I always hear about guys who get laid, this person had sex with that person, and I am not dumb, and know that sex does not only happen with boyfriends and girlfriends. There are guys who "get a ton of ass," who "get laid," and I wanna be one of them.

 

My only real physical quirk (yes this is understatement) is that I'm 5'2'', tho I have seen other profoundly short guys be successful with women. I will admit I'm a virgin, and have never even been in a relationship before. My only hookups were this one at a party senior year in high school, and in a club on 9/20/09(my first since I came to this school in Fall 2008, tho I was not here Spring 2009). I am intelligent, friendly, athletic (enough), musically talented (at guitar tho I'm not in a band), and can be funny and witty. I also dress pretty well, I typically wear polos, blue jeans, brown loafers, and this $260 Patagonia black fleece jacket I just got.

 

What is it that these other guys do that gets them the ability to be known and to actually get laid and have sex with multiple women in their college careers? Also, how do you get a one night stand? I wanna get laid, and I am sick of not feeling like a real person!!!

 

hang a sign round your neck that states "Will phukk for burgers.... "

 

For goodness' sake, haven't you got more important priorities, like, erm...say... your studies for instance???

My cousin is shorter thn you, and is 25. he's had no shortage (pardon the pun) of GF's.

Must be the whole attitude thing......

 

Find yourself a sympathetic hooker who will teach you the rudiments of sex and take away your virginity. Then, you'll feel better equipped to play the field.

Why should some young, innocent and unsuspecting college kid do that for you?

You wanna get laid?

Find someone who will do it for cash. Then go for the pleasure.

 

Honestly, this is sound advice.

[Mikki Mars]

hang a sign round your neck that states "Will phukk for burgers.... "

 

For goodness' sake, haven't you got more important priorities, like, erm...say... your studies for instance???

My cousin is shorter thn you, and is 25. he's had no shortage (pardon the pun) of GF's.

Must be the whole attitude thing......

 

Find yourself a sympathetic hooker who will teach you the rudiments of sex and take away your virginity. Then, you'll feel better equipped to play the field.

Why should some young, innocent and unsuspecting college kid do that for you?

You wanna get laid?

Find someone who will do it for cash. Then go for the pleasure.

 

Honestly, this is sound advice.

why should I degrade myself and have trouble living with myself for the rest of my life?

[Ro2Pi]

why should I degrade myself and have trouble living with myself for the rest of my life?

 

No offense but I consider searching for one night stands (unless they are too) as searching for free sex with no strings... which makes my brain twitch when you consider a hooker degrading.

 

(unless they are too)

Edited January 6, 2010 by Ro2Pi
Hmm... well I guess hookers are looking for it too.

[TaraMaiden]

Yes, but being a hooker is arguably the oldest profession on the planet, ergo, they provide a service and a welcome relief....

 

This guy isn't doing anyone any favours with his attitude. Including himself...