Phateless Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I go swing and salsa dancing every week, sometimes with the girl, sometimes without her. She trusts me. When we go swing dancing I encourage her to dance with other guys because she's really good and it's fun to watch her dance with someone a lot better than me. I'm proud of what a good dancer she is! I trust her because I know I am trustworthy as well. I also know that she's coming home with me at the end of the night. Timmy - this is entirely your problem in your own head. The sooner you realize that, the less likely you are to kill this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 i actually do go on the dance floor but i stay away from girls so i dont get in trouble, she dont like it if i dance close to other girls either sooooo yeahhhh like i said i try to not do things to make my other SO its called common courtesy if you respect your SO you would try to make them happy at all times if possible and thats what I do I keep my girl happy so like i said I should get the same respec maybe you have never been with a guy that treats you good sally.....so get over yourself! You said yourself she wasn't dancing WITH any guys. You were getting the same respect. You said the way she was dancing was fine, but you just wanted to be standing right there while it happens. Why would that make it okay? Are you so large you can act as a blinder screen and no one would see her? As for my life and how I get treated? I'm not on here whining - you are. Educate yourself fella before you speak about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 i actually do go on the dance floor but i stay away from girls so i dont get in trouble, she dont like it if i dance close to other girls either sooooo yeahhhh like i said i try to not do things to make my other SO its called common courtesy if you respect your SO you would try to make them happy at all times if possible and thats what I do I keep my girl happy so like i said I should get the same respec maybe you have never been with a guy that treats you good sally.....so get over yourself! Dude she wasn't even dancing WITH anybody! Do you have any idea how controlling you sound? I would never let a gf treat me this way and I would tell a female friend to dump a guy who treated her that way. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Yeah you guys are right, I guess I just dont like her giving guys are reason to look at her, I dont know I guess i am weird haha thanks for the advice I guess I was just overreacting! Hey, just chain her to the kitchen sink next time you go out and that should avoid this type of problem Or if you do decide to let her out, make sure she wears a burka Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I use to get beat because my ex thought I was too sexy when I danced I was just having fun I did not undress or anything.Today we are divoriced he beat me because he was insecure it was for him when I danced or dressed please give her a break before she gets mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I have to agree if she wasn't dancing with anyone it's no big deal. Unless she was like..shaking her ass so the guys around her would take notice. Yes, you're still overreacting. So it is okay for your girl to be "slutty"--your term--when she's single, but she's got to change all that for you? Sorry, guy, but it doesn't work that way. Wow ok I'm going to focus on this absolute trainwreck of a statement. This implies that a slutty girl should not have to stop being slutty once she gets a boyfriend. Which, if "it doesn't work that way" that is one pathetic chick. I'm not saying she was being slutty, but it sounds an awful lot like you're saying "hey even if she is a slut why should she change for you!" which is just flat out wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Yeah she was actually doing Vulgar moves dropping her ass to the ground like you see them black girls do in video i wouldnt mind if i was there and she did it but i wasnt and there were a bunch of guys standing on the stairs behind her I understand its just dancing but there is appropriate and inapprptiate dancing ... me and her talked about it when it happened and she said she would not do it again i even got buck on a dude that was trying to offer her a drink after she was dancing like that I was like yo wtf are you doing get the **** away from my girl he backed off there you have it in bold. she was soliciting attention, she got it, and disrespectfully acted on it by reciprocating that attention to the other guy. just dump her. the fact that she won't do it again doesn't change the fact that she wants to do it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author timmytak Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 Wish I could let her go, I know in my heart that she really is a good girl - but she is still young (20) and this is her 3rd real serious relationship... I guess as you get older you learn so maybe i should take the chance and see what happenes Link to post Share on other sites
Woman In Blue Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 (edited) Yeah she was actually doing Vulgar moves dropping her ass to the ground like you see them black girls do in video... She's quite the classy lady. I'd marry this girl quick. No, really. ETA: She's 20 years old. LOL - that explains it all. Timmy, you'll have a new girlfriend in a couple months anyway, so why is this even an issue? Edited December 19, 2009 by Woman In Blue Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 My God what century are we living in? You do not OWN her and she is not your property. That people are mentioning the term slut, in relation to a 20yr old dancing in a club (alone) is INSANE. She's a young girl having fun and she has done nothing wrong. If she is a pretty girl, men will be checking her out even if she is standing there motionless, eyes cast down, not moving. Unbelievable that anyone would call her names for just enjoying herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 My God what century are we living in? You do not OWN her and she is not your property. he never said she was his property or that he owns her. what? people aren't suppose to get annoyed and feel disrespected by someone else because of your perception of ownership of another individual? Link to post Share on other sites
cody5 Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 If she acts like this when she's at a club WITH you, IMAGINE the fun she has when she's solo. Here's a nice little homework assignment: next time she goes out dancing with the girls, have one of you're buds (or "mates". I know we have a buch of blokes on the forum) stop by and do a little checking for you. She how she acts when the cat's not around. Get a full report. Man, I WISH I could do it for you. I can GUARANTEE it will result in a relationship ending fight. GUARANTEE it. Clubbing w/o SO in a committed relationship is not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Alright so the other night I went to the club with my girlfriend, she had asked me to go get some drinks so I did, I heard this song that was on by Britney spears and that is one of her favorite songs, so I went to take a peek just to see what she was doing, and she was getting low, obviously I got pissed at this and I told her I didn’t like it, my concern is why would she do it, and when I confronted it she said she didn’t do anything than when I told her I saw it she admitted, is this trust worthy? I don’t know if she was trying to get attention or what but there was no need for her to be dancing like that, any feed back will help. Don't listen to all these girls. They are ruhtards. Bottom line... You get to date whoever you want. If you don't want to date a girl who does stripper dances for the attention of other men... That's your choice. Make sure you tell her that and get her agreement. Then you have a right to make her stick to that. Personally, I would be upset as well if my GF was doing hyper sexualized dancing. That crap is done to get guys to look. Maybe if she wants to do that next time you should bring a pole with you... and take 50%. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Don't listen to all these girls. They are ruhtards. Bottom line... You get to date whoever you want. If you don't want to date a girl who does stripper dances for the attention of other men... That's your choice. Make sure you tell her that and get her agreement. Then you have a right to make her stick to that. Personally, I would be upset as well if my GF was doing hyper sexualized dancing. That crap is done to get guys to look. Maybe if she wants to do that next time you should bring a pole with you... and take 50%. She was probably showing off FOR HER BOYFRIEND. You guys are extremely insecure... Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 She was probably showing off FOR HER BOYFRIEND. You guys are extremely insecure... You seem to have a hard time understanding that not every guy likes it when his gf is actively seeking and encouraging attention from other men. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 You seem to have a hard time understanding that not every guy likes it when his gf is actively seeking and encouraging attention from other men. I don't think she was seeking attention from other men, i think she was seeking attention from her own boyfriend. A lot of guys are jealous and insecure and irrational. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I don't think she was seeking attention from other men, i think she was seeking attention from her own boyfriend. A lot of guys are jealous and insecure and irrational. If his gf did that to get her bf's attention, I think it backfired. People have different perceptions of things. As always, this boils down to compatibility. Different strokes for different folks. I really didn't like other guys hitting or even looking at my gf. I know that would happen, but I never liked it. Not because I didn't trust her, or because I was afraid that she would cheat. It's because my gf is mine, and mine alone. Some men get a kick out of it if other guys desire their gf. This "as long as she goes home with you" kind of thinking is something I don't understand at all. Does that make me jealous and a tad controlling? Yes, but I don't mind being controlled in the same way. Does it make me insecure and irrational? Not in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 If his gf did that to get her bf's attention, I think it backfired. People have different perceptions of things. As always, this boils down to compatibility. Different strokes for different folks. I really didn't like other guys hitting or even looking at my gf. I know that would happen, but I never liked it. Not because I didn't trust her, or because I was afraid that she would cheat. It's because my gf is mine, and mine alone. Some men get a kick out of it if other guys desire their gf. This "as long as she goes home with you" kind of thinking is something I don't understand at all. Does that make me jealous and a tad controlling? Yes, but I don't mind being controlled in the same way. Does it make me insecure and irrational? Not in my opinion. This isn't the 1950s, and you can waste your whole life stressing out over strangers looking at your gf because she's hot. Ignore it and focus on HER BEHAVIOR, not the behavior of strangers that she can't control. I don't think she was trying to get his attention, I think she was playfully showing off for him, she just didn't care who saw. I love it when my gf does that for me and I really don't care who looks because she doesn't even notice them. It's all for me and she only has eyes for me. So why would I waste my time by mugging at all the strangers and getting mad about it when she's trying to be sexy for me? Think about... Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 If she acts like this when she's at a club WITH you, IMAGINE the fun she has when she's solo. Here's a nice little homework assignment: next time she goes out dancing with the girls, have one of you're buds (or "mates". I know we have a buch of blokes on the forum) stop by and do a little checking for you. She how she acts when the cat's not around. Get a full report. Man, I WISH I could do it for you. I can GUARANTEE it will result in a relationship ending fight. GUARANTEE it. Clubbing w/o SO in a committed relationship is not good. Believe me, Cody knows what he is talking about!!! And that is no lie! Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 This isn't the 1950s, So I noticed. and you can waste your whole life stressing out over strangers looking at your gf because she's hot. Ignore it and focus on HER BEHAVIOR, not the behavior of strangers that she can't control. If I'd stress over strangers, I'd spend a lot of time in jail for assaulting some of them and putting them into the hospital or worse. I don't think she was trying to get his attention, I think she was playfully showing off for him, she just didn't care who saw. I love it when my gf does that for me and I really don't care who looks because she doesn't even notice them. I don't like it if she does that in public. It's all for me and she only has eyes for me. So why would I waste my time by mugging at all the strangers and getting mad about it when she's trying to be sexy for me? Think about... That is what that dude (forgot his name) tried to tell me when I told him that swinging or an open relationship are not for me. I know the comparison is not the best, but I hope you understand the point I am trying to make. Just because you or even most people like something, I don't have to feel the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 So I noticed. If I'd stress over strangers, I'd spend a lot of time in jail for assaulting some of them and putting them into the hospital or worse. I don't like it if she does that in public. That is what that dude (forgot his name) tried to tell me when I told him that swinging or an open relationship are not for me. I know the comparison is not the best, but I hope you understand the point I am trying to make. Just because you or even most people like something, I don't have to feel the same way. Wow, you would assault people for looking at your gf? And you're comparing dancing in public to swinger style relationships? Melodramatic, much?? My point is that you don't have to like it, neither do I, but you are highly controlling and over-reactive about it, and that's just not healthy. Your call bro. I have more important things to worry about than how my gf dances when she's at a bar WITH ME. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Wow, you would assault people for looking at your gf? And you're comparing dancing in public to swinger style relationships? Melodramatic, much?? My point is that you don't have to like it, neither do I, but you are highly controlling and over-reactive about it, and that's just not healthy. Your call bro. I have more important things to worry about than how my gf dances when she's at a bar WITH ME. That's not actually what I said, or at least not how it was meant. Let's just say we disagree on the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 That's not actually what I said, or at least not how it was meant. Let's just say we disagree on the matter. I'm good with that. I grew up very liberal so I'm pretty open. I had a roommate who was weirded out because I mentioned to his gf (who also lived there) that I was going down to the pool and she was free to join if she liked. He didn't even think I was hitting on her, he just didn't it was appropriate for me to see her in her bathing suit. I mean, WTF!! Some people stress themselves out over nothing. I guess it's just a more conservative outlook on life, but it doesn't make sense to me. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I don't think she was seeking attention from other men, i think she was seeking attention from her own boyfriend. A lot of guys are jealous and insecure and irrational. so you wouldn't mind a girl of yours rubbing her ass on another guy's crotch on the dancefloor and acting like she is getting f####d from behind from another guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 This isn't the 1950s, and you can waste your whole life stressing out over strangers looking at your gf because she's hot. I think the OP is talking about his gf doing more than simply being looked at. Link to post Share on other sites
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