GF dancing at the club!

[harmfulsweetz]

In all honesty, 5 pages about a blooming dance! Put it like this: you're being bothered by your girl getting down on the dancefloor, by herself, enjoying herself, is your problem not hers. Get therapy if you seriously think that equates to her being a w.h.o.r.e. Perhaps it's less about her, and more about you? It says far more about a person who is bothered by something so ridiculously small, than it does about the act itself.

 

Fact is, it's been blown into something its not. She was dancing alone, did a little sexy dance (which does not mean she was grinding against some other guy FYI) people may have looked, but why should she stop having fun out of fear someone may look? If I was with a man, and he was bothered about me dancing, I would lose complete respect for him.

 

Obviously, it would be different if she were grinding up against someone other dude, but she wasn't. So let's actually answer the OPs question with what he told us, not some imagined act. The thing is, when you're in a relationship, neither party should feel stifled, like you have to constantly watch your actions in case, involuntarily they bring the insecurities to the forefront.

 

People have to seriously deal with their insecurities, instead of just saying 'well they are my insecurities, so I'm allowed them and allowed to allow them to affect this, that and the other.' No, you deal with them. You work on it.

 

You're rationalizing something completely irrational IME, because in the end of the day, she danced alone, he got insecure, end of. He needs to deal with his issues. Really, before he loses her, because a guy would lose me the second he thought a dance made me a slut.

[cody5]

That is EXACTLY what I said. They aren't compatible so he (or she) has to move on. Only I said it w/o belittling your opinion.

[harmfulsweetz]

That is EXACTLY what I said. They aren't compatible so he (or she) has to move on. Only I said it w/o belittling your opinion.

 

I think they could be compatible, it's just he's allowing his own issues to taint the situation. I haven't belittled anyone's opinion, I've chipped in with my own 2 cents. And also, I wasn't merely responding to your post, fair enough, maybe they aren't compatible, but it may not just be me who has experienced an insecure guy before, and knows that if those insecurities weren't there, we would be compatible.

[Dexter Morgan]

For the 8th time... the original poster said she was dancing alone.

 

read my post again, I wasn't referring to her dancing WITH anyone else...just showing her true colors.

[Dexter Morgan]

If I were her bf, i'd probably just stand there and watch. Then dance with another girl.

 

LOL, ya, then she'd get pissed at you for doing the same thing as she. OH we can't win though.

[Dexter Morgan]

she was dancing alone. why is that a problem ?

 

dancing is just fine. dancing in suggestive manner as to let other guys know your demeanor and sending out signals is quite another.

 

that'd be like saying she can flash her boobs at other men, but as long as she don't boff them its ok:o

[Dexter Morgan]

Cuz these guys are insecure and terrified of losing her. They think that someone better will come along and steal her away.

 

nice try. I had someone who was "backing dat ass" up at a club when we were out with friends. I was at the bar with some buds chatting away, she was out on the floor dancing with friends...no problem. Hell, even if she was dancing around a group of guys, I don't care, but no touch and no suggestive flirting.

 

But when I saw she was backing it up, I went the the floor, asked here if she was having fun acting like she was being effed from behind...the guy put his hands in the air and backed away...then I left, her following me asking me not to leave.

 

So as far as losing her? I didn't see it as losing her, I saw it as saving myself. Because people that dance sexually, whether with someone else, or putting on a show for others, don't have a good track record of being faithful.

 

So no loss at all. just the opposite.

[Dexter Morgan]

In all honesty, 5 pages about a blooming dance! Put it like this: you're being bothered by your girl getting down on the dancefloor, by herself, enjoying herself, is your problem not hers.

 

 

Ok, I think we need clarification from the OP on just HOW she was dancing.

 

I have said it time and time again. Dancing with me, without me, hell even around another guy is not a problem whatsoever.

 

But if she is dancing like a s!ut....well, sorry. If it looks like a duck......

 

 

So OP, can you give us more detail? Or was she simply dancing with friends and not being suggestive or provocative? was she bumping and grinding with someone else? I don't think you have been real clear on this.

[dreamergrl]

OP said she was 'getting low' which means she wasn't backing her ass into anything. She was dancing down to the floor. I think she was waiting for her man to come back, see her dancing and hoping he'd be turned on by it. It's not as if she got with the first person to look at her.

 

I highly doubt she'd go start grinding with guys knowing her boyfriend was on his way over with drinks. It doesn't make sense.

[harmfulsweetz]

Ok, I think we need clarification from the OP on just HOW she was dancing.

 

I have said it time and time again. Dancing with me, without me, hell even around another guy is not a problem whatsoever.

 

But if she is dancing like a s!ut....well, sorry. If it looks like a duck......

 

 

So OP, can you give us more detail? Or was she simply dancing with friends and not being suggestive or provocative? was she bumping and grinding with someone else? I don't think you have been real clear on this.

 

Since OP never mentioned anything about backing into someone else, or backing that a$$ up, grinding, it's safe to assume that didn't happen. From what I gathered, she was getting down low to a song, as dreamergrl rightfully pointed out. Alone, the OP's gf was dancing alone, to a song he knew she loved. The very fact that the OP seems to equate this to her being a slut is beyond me, and shows how little respect he has for her.

[Ruby Slippers]

...fair enough, maybe they aren't compatible, but it may not just be me who has experienced an insecure guy before, and knows that if those insecurities weren't there, we would be compatible.

Exactly. Like I said, you guys are ruining it for yourselves.

 

Insecure guys are tragic, because they're often great guys who for some reason don't think they're so great. And if they weren't so determined to show you all the time how insecure they are (=how afraid they are they're going to lose you because they're not convinced they're so great), things would be good.

 

well it all depends ruby. where you simply dancing and having fun by yourself or with a group of your friends?

 

Or were you dancing in such a way that shows other men how you look when you have sex?

It doesn't matter if she was dancing by herself or with her friends.

 

People who know how to dance often get the hips involved. Same with people who know how to have sex. I know how to dance, so when I do, my hips are very involved. It's not because I'm trying to put on a show for anyone -- it's because it feels good and I enjoy it. I dance the exact same way in my living room at home when I'm blaring good music. If some of my dance movements turn men on because they imagine me naked, how is that my fault?

 

"Getting low" on the dance floor is not an inherently sexual dance move. And even if she did get a little sexy with it, who cares? Dancing IS sexy.

 

The problem is not the dancing -- it's her boyfriend's insecurity.

[road]

" I dance the exact same way in my living room at home "

 

So you grind on other guys in front of your guy?

 

Way to go!

[Ruby Slippers]

So you grind on other guys in front of your guy?

 

Way to go!

 

She was dancing BY HERSELF.

 

I'm about ready to declare this hopeless.

[ella23]

Looks like most of the guys on this thread didn't read the OP.

[dreamergrl]

What I find bothersome about this is she was dancing by herself, not grinding, or putting her ass back into another guy, and she is deemed a slut. Dancing low to the ground does not calculate to how many guys she's slept with or that she cheated on OP.

[Phateless]

dancing is just fine. dancing in suggestive manner as to let other guys know your demeanor and sending out signals is quite another.

 

that'd be like saying she can flash her boobs at other men, but as long as she don't boff them its ok:o

 

This is the problem. You're so jealous that if she does anything sexy you think she's hitting on other guys. Amazing...

 

Flashing her boobs is one thing, but moving her hips is another. You just don't get it bro, and no girl is going to have a good time clubbing with you until you can figure it out.

[Phateless]

 

She was dancing BY HERSELF.

 

I'm about ready to declare this hopeless.

 

Looks like most of the guys on this thread didn't read the OP.

 

lol yup! Ruby, you're dead on, these guys are only ruining it for themselves.

 

I'll let these guys sit in the corner and make themselves insecure. I'll be out at the club, salsa dancing with my female friends while they complain about their insecure boyfriends.

[harmfulsweetz]

lol yup! Ruby, you're dead on, these guys are only ruining it for themselves.

 

I'll let these guys sit in the corner and make themselves insecure. I'll be out at the club, salsa dancing with my female friends while they complain about their insecure boyfriends.

 

 

Yep. Agree with Ruby Slippers, Phataless, and dreamergrl completely.

 

Until insecure guys can accept that it's their deal, their issue that causes them to feel such, they won't ever be able to have a successful relationship. The key trick to a successful and happy relationship? Balance and trust, a sexy dance does not mean your woman is going to cheat or capable of it, it means she is having fun and trying to attract YOUR attention. Stop pretending it's her problem, and own it. It's your insecurity.

[e.clipse]

This thread is a real eye-opener. It gives you a frightening view into the minds of insecure men and how their fears and insecurities become a breeding ground for hate toward women.

 

yea, tell me about it, Ruby. i am amazed at the sheer distrust the OP (and people who actually support his thinking) has for his GF, which stems from pure insecurity.

 

i'm actually at a loss for words for some of the derogatory and completely judgmental remarks this poor girl is getting--and this is coming from someone who is very conservative.

 

wow.

[ShamWoW]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Alright so the other night I went to the club with my girlfriend, she had asked me to go get some drinks so I did, I heard this song that was on by Britney spears and that is one of her favorite songs, so I went to take a peek just to see what she was doing, and she was getting low, obviously I got pissed at this and I told her I didn’t like it, my concern is why would she do it, and when I confronted it she said she didn’t do anything than when I told her I saw it she admitted, is this trust worthy? I don’t know if she was trying to get attention or what but there was no need for her to be dancing like that, any feed back will help.[/sIZE][/FONT]

What is even more fun is thinking about how she acts when you are not around. Enjoy.

[Phateless]

What is even more fun is thinking about how she acts when you are not around. Enjoy.

 

I trust my girl. I'm not worried. If she does cheat then I move on.

 

Easy.

[ShamWoW]

I trust my girl.

 

Obviously.

[harmfulsweetz]

Anyone ever think that those that accuse their partners of cheating, (when there's no evidence) or act all insecure over something as silly as this, sort of are asking to be cheated on? I mean, there's no point in not if you are going to be accused regardless.

[Ruby Slippers]

Anyone ever think that those that accuse their partners of cheating, (when there's no evidence) or act all insecure over something as silly as this, sort of are asking to be cheated on? I mean, there's no point in not if you are going to be accused regardless.

Yes, it happens all the time. They didn't even think about cheating till their insecure partner put the idea in their head -- and then, fueled by their fears, pounded it in over and over again with a sledgehammer.

 

Self-fulfilling prophecy.

[dreamergrl]

Right-on. This guy needs to learn how to pick his battles better.

 

Save your accusations for more serious situations when they are needed the most - and they will be.

 

It's not about picking battles. There's no cause for the accusations. Period. All she did was dance by herself. That does not mean she's a slut or will cheat.