GF dancing at the club!

[Dexter Morgan]

This is the problem. You're so jealous that if she does anything sexy you think she's hitting on other guys. Amazing...

 

no, you simply aren't understanding. there is sexy, and there is suggestive. Sexy is just being,well...sexy.

 

suggestive is sending out signals as if to say, "here I am and I'm easy, come and get me".

 

Big difference there my man.

 

 

Flashing her boobs is one thing, but moving her hips is another. You just don't get it bro

 

no, you don't get it. I'm not talking about moving hips. the kind of suggestive dancing I'm talking about is simulated sex on the dancefloor, or sending signals to other men. And yes, there is a difference between simply being sexy, and the suggestive signal sending, or the backing that ass up for another guy.

 

 

and no girl is going to have a good time clubbing with you until you can figure it out.

 

works ok for me, I don't date girls that club, and for good reason.

[Dexter Morgan]

Exactly. Like I said, you guys are ruining it for yourselves.

 

you misunderstood, I was asking if she was simply dancing with friends or by herself, AS OPPOSED to doing something like heavy flirtation and suggestive dancing for another guy, or guys.

 

not whether or not she was by herself or in a group. you are right, it doesn't matter as far as that.

 

 

It doesn't matter if she was dancing by herself or with her friends.

 

 

again, you misunderstood the point

 

 

People who know how to dance often get the hips involved.

 

ya, and? I never said there was a problem with that.

 

the OP needed to be clear. was she dancing with hips involved, or suggestively for other guys?

 

Same with people who know how to have sex. I know how to dance, so when I do, my hips are very involved. It's not because I'm trying to put on a show for anyone -- it's because it feels good and I enjoy it.

 

i don't see a problem at all with it. Now if you were doing it and giving some other guy, other than your SO, the f##k you eyes, etc..etc...then it wouldn't be respectful to your bf.

 

 

 

If some of my dance movements turn men on because they imagine me naked, how is that my fault?

 

its not. but if you are egging it on and doing it on purpose, BIG difference.

 

OP needs to understand that she may not have been doing the latter. But if he caught her doing this for another guy AND doing a little more than "moving hips", then why shouldn't he be pissed?

 

 

"Getting low" on the dance floor is not an inherently sexual dance move. And even if she did get a little sexy with it, who cares? Dancing IS sexy.

 

I agree, I think we are talking about 2 different types of "sexy" dancing here.

 

The problem is not the dancing -- it's her boyfriend's insecurity.

 

I know he hasn't come right out and said such, but just for arguments sake....lets say you went to a club with your bf, and you looked out on the dancefloor, and another girl was backing her ass up to him and he was pretending like he was effin' her from behind, that would be ok with you?

[Dexter Morgan]

What I find bothersome about this is she was dancing by herself, not grinding, or putting her ass back into another guy, and she is deemed a slut. Dancing low to the ground does not calculate to how many guys she's slept with or that she cheated on OP.

 

for one thing all we can ascertain from TT's posts was that she was doing "vulgar moves".

 

I mentioned backing the ass up and that kind of stuff not saying that is what she was doing, just throwing it out there as examples of what I would consider inappropriate.

 

I don't care if someone I am with is out there dancing, moving hips, whatever. if she wants to dance sexy, fine with me.....but if its clear she is doing it for attention and is clear that she is sending signals to someone other than me, then its inappropriate.

 

I know that isn't what TT's gf was doing, although in his mind he thinks she was doing it because she wanted to give other men something to look at.

 

Maybe he has a point, and maybe he is being paranoid. Would have to see his gf in action to tell.

[Phateless]

no, you simply aren't understanding. there is sexy, and there is suggestive. Sexy is just being,well...sexy.

 

suggestive is sending out signals as if to say, "here I am and I'm easy, come and get me".

 

Big difference there my man.

 

 

 

 

no, you don't get it. I'm not talking about moving hips. the kind of suggestive dancing I'm talking about is simulated sex on the dancefloor, or sending signals to other men. And yes, there is a difference between simply being sexy, and the suggestive signal sending, or the backing that ass up for another guy.

 

 

 

 

works ok for me, I don't date girls that club, and for good reason.

 

What you're talking about is something other than what the original post was talking about. Go back and read it carefully.

 

If you want to rant about your own feelings, start another thread. In THIS thread, she was dancing by herself and the OP just overreacted.

 

All girls like to go clubbing once in a while. You're taking 5 and comparing it to 100.

Edited January 16, 2010 by Phateless

[Dexter Morgan]

What you're talking about is something other than what the original post was talking about. Go back and read it carefully.

 

Uh, I know what I'm talking about is something other than what the original post was talking about. I have already said this for arguments sake.

 

 

If you want to rant about your own feelings, start another thread. In THIS thread, she was dancing by herself and the OP just overreacted.

 

maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. hard to tell. all we really have is that he said she was displaying "vulgar moves"....don't really know what that entails.

 

 

All girls like to go clubbing once in a while. You're taking 5 and comparing it to 100.

 

not all girls like to act "vulgar". Again, he needs to clarify what he meant. Was she "getting low", which to me isn't a big deal whatsover along with simply "moving hips" as another post mentioned.

 

Or was she acting like a strip ho? Again, not enough info to go on.

[Phateless]

Uh, I know what I'm talking about is something other than what the original post was talking about. I have already said this for arguments sake.

 

Ok, as long as we're clear.

 

 

maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. hard to tell. all we really have is that he said she was displaying "vulgar moves"....don't really know what that entails.

 

He referred to it as "vulgar" because he's being insecure. He said in other posts in this thread that she was dancing by herself, getting low, and other guys were watching.

 

Add all the pieces together. This dude is making himself crazy over nothing.

 

 

not all girls like to act "vulgar". Again, he needs to clarify what he meant. Was she "getting low", which to me isn't a big deal whatsoever along with simply "moving hips" as another post mentioned.

 

See above. He told her she was acting vulgar but what she was doing would be perfect acceptable to any normal person.

 

Or was she acting like a strip ho? Again, not enough info to go on.

 

From his descriptions, it didn't sound like she was acting like a strip ho. Dude just got jealous because other guys were watching her.

[Dexter Morgan]

He referred to it as "vulgar" because he's being insecure. He said in other posts in this thread that she was dancing by herself, getting low, and other guys were watching.

 

 

curious, here again, I know this isn't what he said she was doing, but just trying to get a feel for what you might consider insecure.

 

what if your gf was on the dancefloor rubbing her ass on another guy's crotch? would you consider that perfectly acceptable behavior for someone in a committed relationship?

[Phateless]

curious, here again, I know this isn't what he said she was doing, but just trying to get a feel for what you might consider insecure.

 

what if your gf was on the dancefloor rubbing her ass on another guy's crotch? would you consider that perfectly acceptable behavior for someone in a committed relationship?

 

Definitely not. If that happened right in front of me, I would pull her aside and tell her that she's not being respectful toward me. Her reaction would tell me everything I need to know. If she's calm, reasonable and apologetic, we move on and have a good night. If she gets defensive or hostile, then I would leave the club and tell her we'd talk in the morning.

 

But that is NOT what happened in this thread. Why do you keep escalating things?

[Jersey Shortie]

OP, are you trying to tell us you never ever looked at another woman with appreciation or lust to some degree when you saw her doing sexy moves? Or even if she was just standing on the corner? That your eyes have always been just for your girlfriend? You never oggled another woman's clevage?

 

Should your gf be concerned everytime your eye wanders?

[Dexter Morgan]

Definitely not. If that happened right in front of me, I would pull her aside and tell her that she's not being respectful toward me.

 

whew, thats a relief. I figured you would ignore any kind of juke she puts on.

 

thats all I'm saying, and I know OP didn't say these are the things his gf did, but there is dancing, and there is putting on a public display willingly, and knowingly so as to gain attention from other guys, and then there is outright simulated sex on the dancefloor.

 

In my younger days I have been to plenty of clubs with gfs, never once needed to worry about what she was doing on the dancefloor....except one, and I left her at the club and told her it was over.

 

Her reaction would tell me everything I need to know. If she's calm, reasonable and apologetic, we move on and have a good night. If she gets defensive or hostile, then I would leave the club and tell her we'd talk in the morning.

 

hmmm, I don't know. I don't think I'd care what her reaction would be if she was acting like she was being boned from behind by another guy. She obviously liked it and wanted to do it, so her reaction to me wouldn't matter, I just don't bother with women like that.

 

 

But that is NOT what happened in this thread. Why do you keep escalating things?

 

I said in the post you replied to that I know its not what is happening with the OP's situation, I was merely wondering where you drew the line for curiosty sake.

[timmytak]

First off Dexter your awesome! It seems me and you kind of think a like. I didnt think my post would get as much attention as it did. I remember this incident like it was yesterday, We were on the dance floor her friends were around but did not dance, I always like to observe my surrounding so i notice about 5 or more guys standing behind the rail looking onto the dance floor, cool whatever my gf ask me to go get drinks awesome i go get it. I hear the song come on by Britney Spears it goes something like 1 2 3 something something whatever **** retarded anyways so i just take a peek to see whats going on with her, I see her bouncing her ass going down like a stripper if she didnt do all that lets get this clear I would not of been upset i just felt disrespected. she can dance all she wants just not like that, if she wants to be single fine I gave her that option she should not dance like that if she has a boyfriend yeah go have your fun but please dont do anything slutty not cool maybe I am controlling but hey if i dont like something i say it i am not gonna keep that **** in, knowing this we are going to the club again this week Uhg thinking about what happen pisses me off because that **** really is not cool. So yeah call it insecure i dont care just how i feel, i can get any girl I want most of the time but I am trying to get something serious going on and I love her to death but there are some things you just should not do Yea? No? Whatever and Cody lol uhg man thinking about how you said that if she was by herself how would she act kind of got me thinking I really dont know but if you trust someone then you dont think about stuff like that but nows you got me thinking because she does like to dress pretty sexy showing clevage which I dont like either if she wants to dress like that go be single, I am a pretty cocky guy I dont give a **** but I do give a **** if she wearing something sexy there is no need for all that because why dress like that when you already have a boyfriend? only reason you would dress like that in my opinion is because maybe trying to get some attention from other guys and yeah she has a girls night out tonight hahaha whatever everyone is entitled to their own opinion yeah I give her options she can leave me if she does not like that I say thats fine she hasnt yet so yeahhh Guess I am pretty lucky maybe, maybe not time will only tell thats my 2 cents thanks for reading! lol

[sally4sara]

First off Dexter your awesome! It seems me and you kind of think a like. I didnt think my post would get as much attention as it did. I remember this incident like it was yesterday, We were on the dance floor her friends were around but did not dance, I always like to observe my surrounding so i notice about 5 or more guys standing behind the rail looking onto the dance floor, cool whatever my gf ask me to go get drinks awesome i go get it. I hear the song come on by Britney Spears it goes something like 1 2 3 something something whatever **** retarded anyways so i just take a peek to see whats going on with her, I see her bouncing her ass going down like a stripper if she didnt do all that lets get this clear I would not of been upset i just felt disrespected. she can dance all she wants just not like that, if she wants to be single fine I gave her that option she should not dance like that if she has a boyfriend yeah go have your fun but please dont do anything slutty not cool maybe I am controlling but hey if i dont like something i say it i am not gonna keep that **** in, knowing this we are going to the club again this week Uhg thinking about what happen pisses me off because that **** really is not cool. So yeah call it insecure i dont care just how i feel, i can get any girl I want most of the time but I am trying to get something serious going on and I love her to death but there are some things you just should not do Yea? No? Whatever and Cody lol uhg man thinking about how you said that if she was by herself how would she act kind of got me thinking I really dont know but if you trust someone then you dont think about stuff like that but nows you got me thinking because she does like to dress pretty sexy showing clevage which I dont like either if she wants to dress like that go be single, I am a pretty cocky guy I dont give a **** but I do give a **** if she wearing something sexy there is no need for all that because why dress like that when you already have a boyfriend? only reason you would dress like that in my opinion is because maybe trying to get some attention from other guys and yeah she has a girls night out tonight hahaha whatever everyone is entitled to their own opinion yeah I give her options she can leave me if she does not like that I say thats fine she hasnt yet so yeahhh Guess I am pretty lucky maybe, maybe not time will only tell thats my 2 cents thanks for reading! lol

 

You sound like you're experiencing pussy/booty envy.

See you said earlier that you don't ask anything of her that you would not also give her in return. So that means you don't shake your ass to music and bend your knees so that your ass hovers above the floor.

WELL HERE IS YOUR EFFING COOKIE BRO! YOU'RE JUST AWESOME!

You don't do that because it would look ridiculous! It has nothing to do with expecting similar consideration. It is also not something you would do because I'm guessing making yourself look like a fool for dancing like a girl isn't YOUR idea of having fun. It is obvious though that your GF likes to have fun by dancing. Not putting on a sex show. Not blowing dudes in the bathroom. But EEEEKKKK! dancing like a girl.

Do you play basketball or something similar? If you do you damn well better not remove your soaked shirt or play really well. The girls might like watching you too much and then you will have to cheat of your GF because of it. Oh! and you better hope none of the other guys playing are gay 'cause you know what that means you might also have to do........

Doesn't that sound stupid? The idea that you would just have to cheat on her because some girls were watching how well you stuff it on the court?

[Dexter Morgan]

You sound like you're experiencing pussy/booty envy.

See you said earlier that you don't ask anything of her that you would not also give her in return. So that means you don't shake your ass to music and bend your knees so that your ass hovers above the floor.

WELL HERE IS YOUR EFFING COOKIE BRO! YOU'RE JUST AWESOME!

You don't do that because it would look ridiculous! It has nothing to do with expecting similar consideration. It is also not something you would do because I'm guessing making yourself look like a fool for dancing like a girl isn't YOUR idea of having fun. It is obvious though that your GF likes to have fun by dancing. Not putting on a sex show. Not blowing dudes in the bathroom. But EEEEKKKK! dancing like a girl.

 

dancing like a stripper is just merely dancing like a girl? good information to know:)

 

 

Do you play basketball or something similar? If you do you damn well better not remove your soaked shirt or play really well. The girls might like watching you too much and then you will have to cheat of your GF because of it.

 

 

apples and oranges. dancing slutty and like a stripper so as to gain attention is a far cry from playing basketball.....geez.

 

here again. I'd like to see just what TT is talking about. As posed before, "getting low" and "moving hips" is just dancing. But if the moves are truly vulgar so as to gain attention from guys other than her bf, then wouldn't that be disrespectful to him?

 

What if your bf was acting like a male stripper? There is only one reason to act like that.....to get attention. you saying you would like it if a man of yours likes to seek attention from other women?

 

I'm sorry, there is dancing, and there is acting like a slut for all to see. And I don't think dancing like a slut is simply dancing "like a girl"

[sally4sara]

What would I do if my partner started dancing like a Chippendale at a club?

 

Laugh my damn ass off at the ridiculous display! :lmao::lmao::lmao: Too effing funny!

 

It is not apples and oranges.

You just like the idea of flipping out and intimidating a woman because your ex-wife hurt you and you can't (won't) do anything about it. This is just one more opportunity for you to fantasize taking your ex wife to task over something.

Look at all your past posts. You can't make one without screeching about some girl being a slut for something you claim you absolutely would not tolerate.

[Dexter Morgan]

What would I do if my partner started dancing like a Chippendale at a club?

 

Laugh my damn ass off at the ridiculous display! :lmao::lmao::lmao: Too effing funny!

 

I realize its silly. No guy, straight anyway, would dance like that at a club...maybe, who knows

 

But what if your bf was obviously tryinig to get attention from other women at a club whether by dancing or any other way? Would that sit well with you?

 

(here again, just posing a question IF that is what TT's gf was doing)

 

 

It is not apples and oranges.

 

yes, it is. one is playing basketball with the intention to win a game.

 

the other COULD be a display as to gain attention from the opposite sex.

 

You just like the idea of flipping out and intimidating a woman because your ex-wife hurt you and you can't (won't) do anything about it.

 

oh dear....nice try. what woman am I trying to intimidate? please do share.

 

I am posing a question to ascertain if you, and others, think it is disrespectful if a SO is trying to gain the attention of the opposite sex. just so happens the person in question is a female.

 

 

This is just one more opportunity for you to fantasize taking your ex wife to task over something.

 

 

LMAO....oh my *choking on tears* If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you are trying to dodge the question of whether or not you think it would be disrespectful for a committed partner to try to gain attention from the opposite sex.

 

Look at all your past posts. You can't make one without screeching about some girl being a slut for something you claim you absolutely would not tolerate.

 

Again, nice try. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were TT's gf and the truth is hitting home a little too much.

[dreamergrl]

Some how I think OP's description of his gf flapping her ass up and down, is her dancing low to the ground and back up. Hence the whole "Getting Low". I think OP's vision of this is worse then it really is because he's insecure and jealous over other guys looking at his gf. She was still by herself. She was backing it up into another guy. She wasn't flashing all the on-lookers. Get over it or find someone who wants to sit at home or be attached to your hip.

[Ilovehim]

if she can dance well and likes to dance, then most likely she will want to show off.

 

think about it, whether you're single or not...if there is one thing that you feel you are so confident at, wouldnt you want to show it off to the world?

 

also i wasn't there so i wouldnt know. if she was doing this purposely to get guys attention, then i can understand why you're annoyed. however if she was simply dancing because she has a good time doing it, the let it be.

[Phateless]

Some how I think OP's description of his gf flapping her ass up and down, is her dancing low to the ground and back up. Hence the whole "Getting Low". I think OP's vision of this is worse then it really is because he's insecure and jealous over other guys looking at his gf. She was still by herself. She wasn't backing it up into another guy. She wasn't flashing all the on-lookers. Get over it or find someone who wants to sit at home or be attached to your hip.

 

Yup! I think this is exactly what happened.

[Ruby Slippers]

Look at all your past posts. You can't make one without screeching about some girl being a slut for something you claim you absolutely would not tolerate.

Yes. This is why my eyes glazed over toward Dexter long ago -- it is painfully obvious that his ongoing shrill attacks on women are coming from a place of past pain or present fear, or both.

 

(Of course, you can probably say the same for a good percentage of the guys on here.)

[Dexter Morgan]

Yes. This is why my eyes glazed over toward Dexter long ago -- it is painfully obvious that his ongoing shrill attacks on women are coming from a place of past pain or present fear, or both.

 

ya, and apparently I don't get down on the cheating men in this forum either:rolleyes:....either that or you don't read enough.

 

and if you or sara would like to point me to a post where a man was dancing at a club like a huss and his gf didn't like it, I'll be more than happy to chime in:)

[Dexter Morgan]

Some how I think OP's description of his gf flapping her ass up and down, is her dancing low to the ground and back up. Hence the whole "Getting Low". I think OP's vision of this is worse then it really is because he's insecure and jealous over other guys looking at his gf.

 

I completely agree. If guys look at her when she is simply dancing, that isn't anything she can control.

 

Now if she was giving one of them the f### you eyes while doing it.....then a different story. but I gather that isn't what she did unless that was part of the "vulgar moves" he was talking about.

[sally4sara]

if she can dance well and likes to dance, then most likely she will want to show off.

 

think about it, whether you're single or not...if there is one thing that you feel you are so confident at, wouldnt you want to show it off to the world?

 

also i wasn't there so i wouldnt know. if she was doing this purposely to get guys attention, then i can understand why you're annoyed. however if she was simply dancing because she has a good time doing it, the let it be.

 

Most likely.

Just like a guy who plays basketball might play extra hard and show off for the crowd......

But it doesn't mean the person showing off and having fun is advertising their "sluttiness" and wanting to cheat.

[Dexter Morgan]

Most likely.

Just like a guy who plays basketball might play extra hard and show off for the crowd......

But it doesn't mean the person showing off and having fun is advertising their "sluttiness" and wanting to cheat.

 

I don't think a basketball player doing hotdogging is sending off sexual signals to the crowd:rolleyes:

 

Now if he slam dunks it and does a back dat ass up victory dance....well then maybe ya have a point

[sally4sara]

I don't think a basketball player doing hotdogging is sending off sexual signals to the crowd:rolleyes:

 

Now if he slam dunks it and does a back dat ass up victory dance....well then maybe ya have a point

 

It is as sexy as a woman dancing and comparable because wiggling around doesn't work without on men - no hips and breasts. Chippendales and the sort are not perceived as much or by as many women the way the female form is for BOTH men and women. Hell, I have met many gay men who still find tits hot. A man being physically competitive IS enticing to the eye to hetero women. It even draws attention from men; you seem to enjoy televised sports more. But I distinctly remember lingering by the courts on my way home for the view. In fact, I can't remember such an athletic display I've ever seen without a group of women watching.

[Ruby Slippers]

In fact, I can't remember such an athletic display I've ever seen without a group of women watching.

You are right. A court full of shirtless men playing basketball and sweating in the summer sun is an almost uncomfortably erotic sight.