Lets actually pick apart what the problem is with the dating market

[meerkat stew]

What's wrong with having a $200.00( or more) pair of shoes if the woman can afford it?

 

Nothing is wrong with her, it is her choice to spend her money how she pleases. It is just my personal preference, as someone who practices a moderate to low consumption lifestyle. Similarly, would likely not be compatible with someone who was a very devout practitioner of a fundamentalist religion, or a vegan (maybe a vegetarian though).

[tami-chan]

Nothing is wrong with her, it is her choice to spend her money how she pleases. It is just my personal preference, as someone who practices a moderate to low consumption lifestyle. Similarly, would likely not be compatible with someone who was a very devout practitioner of a fundamentalist religion, or a vegan (maybe a vegetarian though).

 

I see. So you would write off a wonderful, kind, intelligent, beautiful woman- who is totally into you because she happens to own a Jimmie Choo (they are more than $200, I know, but beside the point)?

[meerkat stew]

I see. So you would write off a wonderful, kind, intelligent, beautiful woman- who is totally into you because she happens to own a Jimmie Choo (they are more than $200, I know, but beside the point)?

 

My original assumption would be that where there is one pair of choos, there is a whole choo choo train in the closet, together with thousands of dollars worth of designer clothes. Another assumption would be that accompanying that choo choo chanel train is a trainwreck of choo choo chanel credit card bills caroming into her mailbox once per month.

 

Now we both know that to "assume" makes an ass out of you and me, so no, dear tami, I wouldn't write her off entirely, but would probably talk to the walmart hottie first these days. If choo choo chanel was my dream girl in -every- other way, I might give her a shot, but when I show up to pick those types up in my pickup truck, they tend to want to choo choo on off down the track to the next station themselves anyway so we are usually both better served by riding the rails at our respectively different railroads from the get-go.

[tami-chan]

My original assumption would be that where there is one pair of choos, there is a whole choo choo train in the closet, together with thousands of dollars worth of designer clothes. Another assumption would be that accompanying that choo choo chanel train is a trainwreck of choo choo chanel credit card bills caroming into her mailbox once per month.

 

Now we both know that to "assume" makes an ass out of you and me, so no, dear tami, I wouldn't write her off entirely, but would probably talk to the walmart hottie first these days. If choo choo chanel was my dream girl in -every- other way, I might give her a shot, but when I show up to pick those types up in my pickup truck, they tend to want to choo choo on off down the track to the next station themselves anyway so we are usually both better served by riding the rails at our respectively different railroads from the get-go.

 

 

:lmao:!!!! you are so damn funny! I change my mind, I think that Percocet is doing you wonders! Ok, I got it...still...oh well..to each his own, I guess.

[meerkat stew]

Well if Ms. Chanel would wear a pair of $180 shoes that look just as nice as choo shoes, maybe Stuart Weitzmans she got on sale, then we be fine! Thanks for the compliment, and my percoset prescription thanks you also.

[tami-chan]

Well if Ms. Chanel would wear a pair of $180 shoes that look just as nice as choo shoes, maybe Stuart Weitzmans she got on sale, then we be fine! Thanks for the compliment, and my percoset prescription thanks you also.

 

I think you date "high maintenance women" ...how else would you know those brands? You probably had to sit in the shoe boutique watching her model one style of shoes after another....admit it... Did you have to pay for them?

[meerkat stew]

I think you date "high maintenance women" ...how else would you know those brands? You probably had to sit in the shoe boutique watching her model one style of shoes after another....admit it... Did you have to pay for them?

 

Don't even get me started on D&Gs. Yes, have had my share of high maintenance, and hell no! never bought women shoes, nor been shoe shopping. I'm old, remember? 45, never married, and lost count on the number of dates with different women in my life at somewhere over 200, been in relationships with 20-30 and flings with a (insert modest, but not too modest, fib number here). I have learned lots of female stuff by osmosis (and certain things about shoes in the bedroom )

 

I -have- been cosmetic shopping, and remember La Mer being brought up in another thread, and from my shopping trips with women. HOLY MOSES! I truly never realized how much women spend on beauty til I was near 40 though, and was blown away. Many of the women I've dated spend more on hair, clothes, shoes and beauty aids in a year than my mortgage costs! Enough is enough! We are truly in a decadent society when a woman will spend over $1000-2000 per month on those things.

 

Enough about me, I have a hunch Tami, that you don't have a choochoo train in your closet, am I right? What would you think of a man you were dating with an avg/high income with a closet full of Zegna or Armani? Would you be cool with that?

[muse08]

Some background

 

very interesting...thanks carhill.

[tami-chan]

.....(and certain things about shoes in the bedroom )

 

Oh?

 

Enough about me, I have a hunch Tami, that you don't have a choochoo train in your closet, am I right? What would you think of a man you were dating with an avg/high income with a closet full of Zegna or Armani? Would you be cool with that?

LOL...shoes is my only vice, so your hunch is wrong(although admittedly way less choos than the regular stuff). Why else would I take issue of women being written off because of their shoes?

 

So what would I think of a man with a closet full of Zegnas and Armanis..."dude, you are so vain!"....lol...men do not need a closet full of shoes. Why? because you only really wear pants(and the shirt the goes with it)...and in very limited colors. Us women wear skirts/dresses,( long or short), pants(wide leg, straight or skinny) and the tops! (blouses, shirts, tee-shirts, etc.etc) and in varied colors, too! Gotta have the shoes to compliment the outfit!

[meerkat stew]

Oh?

No further comment, let your shoe gal imagination run wild haha.

 

Why else would I take issue of women being written off because of their shoes?

 

Because you, like me, get a perverse delight in twisting people's tails on the internet! Are shoes your -only- vice? Be honest now.

 

So what would I think of a man with a closet full of Zegnas and Armanis..."dude, you are so vain!"....lol...men do not need a closet full of shoes. Why? because you only really wear pants(and the shirt the goes with it)...and in very limited colors. Us women wear skirts/dresses,( long or short), pants(wide leg, straight or skinny) and the tops! (blouses, shirts, tee-shirts, etc.etc) and in varied colors, too! Gotta have the shoes to compliment the outfit!

 

I personally don't have a closet full of Zegnas (was talking suits not shoes btw), the most expensive article of clothing I have is a Burberry raincoat got at a deep discount in NYC years ago. How do you know I only wear pants? It could be "internet day" at the state prison and I could have on a sexy orange jumpsuit for all you know!

 

But c'mon tami, nice looking shoes can be had for $100-200 bucks that complement the outfit just as well, right? What is the allure of those Blahniks? (Insert "bound feet" joke here)

[tami-chan]

No further comment, let your shoe gal imagination run wild haha.

 

ohhh ok....cop out

 

Are shoes your -only- vice? Be honest now.

You're right, I like gourmet coffee and LS....LOL!!!!

 

How do you know I only wear pants? It could be "internet day" at the state prison and I could have on a sexy orange jumpsuit for all you know!

 

I don't know about orange jumpsuits being "sexy", but I guess, I will take your word for it.

 

But c'mon tami, nice looking shoes can be had for $100-200 bucks that complement the outfit just as well, right? What is the allure of those Blahniks? (Insert "bound feet" joke here)

 

Oh absolutely!

 

"bound feet'...lol...can't leave the Asian jokes, eh? I am NOT Chinese. I am of Japanese descent

[mem11363]

Am I in an alternate universe? Where is all this negativity about women coming from?

 

I love hanging out with my wife. She is fun and playful and clever. Forget about sex - forget about even basic affection. When it comes to conversation and playing board games and walking the dogs I prefer to spend time with her.

 

Yes the affection and sex amplify my love - but my liking her is based on everything else.

 

It is starting to feel like "nice guys dislike women"

 

 

And you wonder why you're having a hard time finding a woman...

[meerkat stew]

I am NOT Chinese. I am of Japanese descent

 

I knew that from your sig, but hey, the "chan" could throw someone off and you know we aren't supposed to be able to tell Asians apart anyway! OK my Emailed Kona coffee is on the way to you, where's my fentanyl? I'm starting to get the shakes here doc, I need to get well!

[gypsy_nicky]

I have one, and I'd like the women on here to answer:

 

 

with the surge of alpha women entering the workforce and earning as much as, if not, even more than her male colleague, do the women of today have unrealistic standards when dating men?

 

(never date down financially, physically etc etc)

[Sam Spade]

Hahahah that's about it.

 

I don't know about this study...Let's shift this over to the male version. Let's think about this comparison, would a guy honestly do a double take at hottie in a frumpy Walmart uniform, over a good looking woman dressed in a Chanel little suit and french stockings and heels? Have any of you even seen how goofy a McDonalds uniform looks? Have you seen how any chain store uniform looks? Is it really about perceived wealth or is just about the fact that someone who is well put together and in style is simply more appealing to look at?

 

 

I've been fantasizing about the girl in the local McDonalds for about a year now.

 

The well dressed woman could be fun to look at, but there is the nagging thought: who is/will be paying for all that.

In any case, I'd throw either one on the floor in the warehouse.

 

 

My GF always looks nicely put together in stuff she buys for 5-10 bucks from Ross. And trust me, I know (and care) more about clothes than most men so I can actually tell when or if somebody is actually well put together.

[ordinary_girl]

I have one, and I'd like the women on here to answer:

 

 

with the surge of alpha women entering the workforce and earning as much as, if not, even more than her male colleague, do the women of today have unrealistic standards when dating men?

 

(never date down financially, physically etc etc)

 

it depens on the woman and I don't mean that as a cop-out. I wouldn't call myself an alpha woman at all but I am fairly afluent so maybe my response is relevant to your question.

 

I was born into a poor family, come originally from a relatively poor country in Europe and have lived in the UK for over 15 years.

 

I went to university while working full time and have achieved a very good standard of living through sheer hard work starting from minus (ie from a lower socio-economic background than most West Europeans). I have also lived in Asia and Africa travelling and working - sometimes doing poorly paid but very exciting work.

 

I don't date men that have no ambitions in life. I don't mean that should want to be CEOs or even high earners. I am comfortable financially and I am happy to be with someone who can look after himself but not phased at all if he earns less (most of my boyfriends the last 4-5 years have been younger and less well off than me).

 

What matters to me though is that my man has to have a strong character and aspirations to achieve. I don't want to go home to a boyfriend who thinks playing on playstation or watching TV on the sofa is what he should be doing with his time and intellect. It's boring. I enjoy being with someone who is naturally inquisitive enough to hold a conversation on different topics, have a reasonably wide variety of interest and the resilience to keep on cracking in life.

 

I dated skinny, well cut, fat, short, tall, bald guys. I don't have a physical type but I want someone who is quality, interesting, tough and nice.

 

And those men are in short supply I can tell you that much. They exist but they are not easy to find.

 

I don't want to be with anyone who is lazy, thick or boring.

[Sam Spade]

^^

Um, yeah, you are already pushing it. There are plenty of great guys that are, indeed "boring", which is actually really meaningless characterization of people and tells more about you than about them.

 

Here's my public service for the day:

(Salinger's take on "boring" guys)

 

Guys that are very boring--But I have to be careful about that. I mean about calling certain guys bores. I don't understand boring guys. I really don't. When I was at Elkton Hills, I roomed for about two months with this boy, Harris Mackim. He was very intelligent and all, but he was one of the biggest bores I ever met. He had one of these very raspy voices, and he never stopped talking, practically. He never stopped talking, and what was awful was, he never said anything you wanted to hear in the first place. But he could do one thing. The sonuvabitch could whistle better than anybody I ever heard. He'd be making his bed, or hanging up stuff in the closet--he was always hanging up stuff in the closet--it drove me crazy--and he'd be whistling while he did it, if he wasn't talking in this raspy voice. He could even whistle classical stuff, but most of the time he just whistled jazz. He could take something very jazzy, like 'Tin Roof Blues,' and whistle it so nice and easy--right while he was hanging stuff up in the closet--that it could kill you. Naturally, I never told him I thought he was a terrific whistler. I mean you don't just go up to somebody and say, 'You're a terrific whistler.' But I

roomed with him for about two whole months, even though he bored me till I was half crazy, just because he was such a terrific whistler, the best I ever heard. So I don't know about bores. Maybe you shouldn't feel too sorry if you see some swell girl getting married to them. They don't hurt anybody, most of them, and maybe they're secretly all terrific whistlers or something. Who the hell knows?

[ordinary_girl]

of course it says more about me than about them. the poster asked about my opinion and that's what I gave him.

 

I find if pointless to quote other people's thoughts to be honest. I love the Catcher in the Rye but I think it's useful to have the ability to be able to form your own views rather than use somebody else's.

[MadDriver]

Ive dated 9's and 10's all my life i must be somehere near that level then

 

EVERY WOMAN THINKS THAT!!! No matter how ugly, or out of shape, they think "well, that hot 9's and 10's guys ****ed me, so I must be at their level..."

 

No wonder 9's and 10's guys get so much action from women in the 0-10 range.

[ordinary_girl]

EVERY WOMAN THINKS THAT!!! No matter how ugly, or out of shape, they think "well, that hot 9's and 10's guys ****ed me, so I must be at their level..."

 

No wonder 9's and 10's guys get so much action from women in the 0-10 range.

 

yeah I have to agree with you. I wish I didn't but it's so true unfortunately. it's amazing what people will believe.

 

I think men wish 9-10 women would take advantage of them that way as well

[meerkat stew]

^^

Um, yeah, you are already pushing it. There are plenty of great guys that are, indeed "boring", which is actually really meaningless characterization of people and tells more about you than about them.

 

I don't mind if they use "boring" to describe couch potatoes, as ordinary girl does, or very one dimensional people or people who talk about themselves constantly. Those are "fair use" of boring in my book. It's when they use "boring" as in "not dangerous or drama laden enough" that annoys me.

 

If some women don't have a version of "STEEEELLLLLLLLLLAAA!" every day, they are apt to call their men (or rather boys) "boring" unfairly.

 

Enjoyed the Salinger quote.

[betamanlet]

yeah I have to agree with you. I wish I didn't but it's so true unfortunately. it's amazing what people will believe.

 

I think men wish 9-10 women would take advantage of them that way as well

 

It's due to being drunk, in a bar. A guy gets hammered, he's horny, he'll bang anything. Then the sense of entitlment comes from that since a hot guy has sex with them, they are entitled to ahot guy for a relationship.

[betamanlet]

I don't mind if they use "boring" to describe couch potatoes, as ordinary girl does, or very one dimensional people or people who talk about themselves constantly. Those are "fair use" of boring in my book. It's when they use "boring" as in "not dangerous or drama laden enough" that annoys me.

 

If some women don't have a version of "STEEEELLLLLLLLLLAAA!" every day, they are apt to call their men (or rather boys) "boring" unfairly.

 

Enjoyed the Salinger quote.

 

 

Yup, I'm described as "boring" by women, yet I exercise, go hiking, kayak, travel the world, constantly, read, hate television, love museums etc... But I don't produce drama, hence I'm boring. I'm not a "challenege"

[meerkat stew]

It's due to being drunk, in a bar. A guy gets hammered, he's horny, he'll bang anything. Then the sense of entitlment comes from that since a hot guy has sex with them, they are entitled to ahot guy for a relationship.

 

There was a popular band in my college circuit. The lead singer had banged hundreds of coeds. All up and down the coast, you would run into women at their shows claiming "Oh, yeah, we used to -date-." Hilarious.

[ordinary_girl]

Yup, I'm described as "boring" by women, yet I exercise, go hiking, kayak, travel the world, constantly, read, hate television, love museums etc... But I don't produce drama, hence I'm boring. I'm not a "challenege"

 

but that will depend on what kind of woman you are talking to, won't it? if she is into popular culture than she won't appretiate you. if she is into what you like then she will