Lets actually pick apart what the problem is with the dating market

[tami-chan]

No she wasn't kidding. She knew everything about the guy and wouldn't stop talking about him.

 

oh dear...that's just sad....did you sleep with her anyway? might as well, right?

[muse08]

Originally Posted by Woggle

JS actually made a post that I very much agreed with. Just like women are people men are people too. All men are not out to destroy a woman's independence or control her. All men do not cheat on women or treat them with no respect. Most men are not threatened by smart, strong or successful women but we do want loving, caring and faithful to go along with that? Is there something wrong with that? Don't women want the very same thing in a man? Just because we don't want a nagging misandrist who has no respect for us does not mean that we want a stepford wife to kick around.

 

This is probably the most wonderful thing I've seen you post wogs. Perhaps you should write it down and keep it in your wallet for the next time you start smirking over a woman being betrayed?

 

Woggle is one funny cat...

 

I know he has a sweet side, not sure why he's trying to transform himself into a callous player...

 

Sometimes in life, you benefit more by just being transparent...

[muse08]

I noticed that too since my divorce. I stopped taking women's crap and I shocked myself by how good a player I was with women. I had FWB situation with a maneater who chewed up men and spit them out and when it was over she was ready to marry me which I wanted no part of. This is why I saw respect is the most important part of attraction with women. The only thing I have a hard time doing is switching back over to kind and loving mode with a woman who truly does deserve to be treated well without losing my backbone.

 

ah, excuse me sir. when did you get a divorce? are you on your 2nd marriage now?

[AD1980]

I started dating one 28 yr old girl, and after a while we went back to her place..

 

When i was in her room there were about 4 posters of some model type guy with a microphone.. I said "Who is that"? she said "Oh that is my ideal husband"..

 

Women take the hollywood crush things much further Men..They know every little thing about these people..

 

Women are borderline stalkerish with hot men they see on tv or whatever..

 

They honestly beleive they deserve and can get these men its more then a fantasy to them...

 

A female friend of mine once told me that no women is happy whos married ot an average Joe and said almost every women beleives she should get the perfect man of her dreams and if she cant get him shes never satisified

 

Kinda scary..

[carhill]

ah, excuse me sir. when did you get a divorce? are you on your 2nd marriage now?

Not Wog's but IIRC his exW cheated on him and tried to kill him and got some prison time for it.

[Sam Spade]

^^^

Also, this belongs in the "asian girls" thread, but is also relevant here ==> one of the reasons why asian girls are so attractive is that they rarely think too much of themselves - of course our native femininas will quickly label this a "low self esteem", while in fact it is just realistic view of self.

 

WHen I tell compliments to my GF, het response is neither a coy, self-congratulary "Thanks" or "Of course", nor arguing against the compliment. She merely says "I'm okay", or "I'm average" , in a very as a matter of factly way... that I find adorable and exceedingly refreshing in the american culture ridden with "I am special" mediocres.

 

Say what you will, but asian cultures typically place way more emphasis on hard work and humility than we do (or used to do). And it shows, and it is very attractive and it probably faciiltates healthy relationships since such attitude by definition is the anthithesis of entitlement and unrealistic expectations.

[Rudderless]

How about everyone look to others, like individuals? Do you and I mesh as individuals?

 

If you're consistently finding that you don't mesh with the opposite gender, it's time to look internally and see why you don't mesh with so many others. Then it's up to you to either change or accept. If you accept, then you're going to have to be patient with finding someone who you can mesh with.

 

This blame-fest is counterproductive.

 

13 pages and this is the only response that has made any sense to me.

[Rudderless]

They were astonished how I could be such a smart and successful guy and not very eligible bachelor at the age of 27.

 

I'm confused about that as well, I couldn't cross the road at that age without some female interest. Not only me, my friends too. Your target age group is massively single and kids aren't generally a factor, it's damn easy to meet them and the maturity you've acquired at that age puts you somewhere at the top of the pile. 27-29 is a golden age for a male finding a serious relationship, it's not bad in your early 30's either.

 

I didn't realise that the "dating market", whatever that is, has moved on so rapidly in the last few years whereby a 27 year old smart, successful man had such a struggle against the odds. Has there been a terminal decline in female numbers? I thought that was the point where you had gotten past the getting laid all the time stage and could charm the hind legs off a donkey.

[Woggle]

ah, excuse me sir. when did you get a divorce? are you on your 2nd marriage now?

 

Yes I am and my first marriage was just complete nightmar.

 

As for turning myself callous I don't want to be that way but I think being that way tends to have the most successful outcome for a man. It seems that the men who truly do care and treat women well are the ones who get played left and right. I promised myself after my first divorce ended that I would never ever be a doormat again. The hard part is keeping that backbone I grew without keeping all that misogynistic baggage that helped it to grow.

[Woggle]

I agree with the one poster who says that NYC women get a bad rap. The materialistic super entitled SATC types are actually a very small part of the city that the media likes to glorify. People don't belive me when I tell people that hanging out in Washington Square Park is actually a good way to meet somebody.

[silic0ntoad]

I've been cheated on by every gf I have ever had. I've never cheated, and really doubt I ever would. But they not only cheated, they didn't even feel guilt about it. They felt entitled to find who they felt entitled to meet, and nobody else matters.

 

The funny part about this is the double standard. Whenever people (here and other forums) read this type of post, they say "Well, YOU are picking the wrong women" or "You need therapy to figure out why YOU pick people who cheat."

 

 

Are you serious? I'll take all the blame for my actions and bear the burden of their impact myself; but don't blame someone for being cheated on. It's got to do with the CHEATER not the cheated.

 

I've been cheated on twice, and both were long term R's that ended messily. I've dated a plethora of girls, from ok to hot, thin to thick, rich to poor. I've seen the spectrum. And guess what? It doesn't matter. People cheat. Nowadays, it's OK to cheat. It's no longer taboo. Hollywood and society makes the thrill of cheating on the always "abusive, boring, dickish" significant other cool and self gratifying, especially for women.

 

Whenever I hear or read a story about cheating, and a woman being the cheater, everyone understands, everyone comforts HER because the guy was a useless tool. Well, newsflash, guys are people too. When a woman cheats everyone says its ok. When a guy cheats he's scum of the earth and a loser.

Edited December 16, 2009 by silic0ntoad

[betamanlet]

I agree with the one poster who says that NYC women get a bad rap. The materialistic super entitled SATC types are actually a very small part of the city that the media likes to glorify. People don't belive me when I tell people that hanging out in Washington Square Park is actually a good way to meet somebody.

 

 

NYC is the only place I've ever been asked by a woman how much I earn to determine whether she should consider talking to me, but that was upper west side. When I attended NYU, because of the students, it was different down in Greenwich Village.

[betamanlet]

The funny part about this is the double standard. Whenever people (here and other forums) read this type of post, they say "Well, YOU are picking the wrong women" or "You need therapy to figure out why YOU pick people who cheat."

 

 

Are you serious? I'll take all the blame for my actions and bear the burden of their impact myself; but don't blame someone for being cheated on. It's got to do with the CHEATER not the cheated.

 

I've been cheated on twice, and both were long term R's that ended messily. I've dated a plethora of girls, from ok to hot, thin to thick, rich to poor. I've seen the spectrum. And guess what? It doesn't matter. People cheat. Nowadays, it's OK to cheat. It's no longer taboo. Hollywood and society makes the thrill of cheating on the always "abusive, boring, dickish" significant other cool and self gratifying, especially for women.

 

Whenever I hear or read a story about cheating, and a woman being the cheater, everyone understands, everyone comforts HER because the guy was a useless tool. Well, newsflash, guys are people too. When a woman cheats everyone says its ok. When a guy cheats he's scum of the earth and a loser.

 

 

Some chick I dated, who dumped me on the spot for someone she had just met (with me there) and went home with him, actually was writing dating advice columns for a major newspaper.

[silic0ntoad]

Some chick I dated, who dumped me on the spot for someone she had just met (with me there) and went home with him, actually was writing dating advice columns for a major newspaper.

 

Now that takes the cake.

 

Give a psychopathic self righteous self serving asshat the voice for the masses.

 

GREAT IDEA.

[Woggle]

NYC is the only place I've ever been asked by a woman how much I earn to determine whether she should consider talking to me, but that was upper west side. When I attended NYU, because of the students, it was different down in Greenwich Village.

 

Go to any yuppies paradise and you will find that. A lot of the alternative type of chicks down on the lower east side are really cool though.

[betamanlet]

Now that takes the cake.

 

Give a psychopathic self righteous self serving asshat the voice for the masses.

 

GREAT IDEA.

 

 

I doubt she's representative of the advice column writers. But I even wrote into her column, and she actually published my question, and responded, of course calling me a stalker (I was pathetic, and after she did this to me I went on a trip with her), etc, saying we weren't even dating (I guess she calls everyone her boyfriend and they spend the night at her place). Pathetic yes, stalker, no. I just couldn't believe someone should be writing dating advice, and there were were many comments to the column basically agreeing she has no business writing dating advice when she even admits that she did it. It's so long ago, I don't care, but use this as an example of the lack of conscience. When I was in the process of being dumped on the spot that night, I was asking people for advice, and they just say "this stuff just happens, move on"... Imagine had that been a spouse that did that? Get cheated on, then have to pay alimony? I see having a serious relationship these says as an extreme risk.

[Woggle]

Whenever I hear or read a story about cheating, and a woman being the cheater, everyone understands, everyone comforts HER because the guy was a useless tool. Well, newsflash, guys are people too. When a woman cheats everyone says its ok. When a guy cheats he's scum of the earth and a loser.

 

Very true. There are people in my circle who blame what happened to my ex on me. It's my fault she cheated and it's my fault she is on drugs. She seemingly has no responsibility whatsoever for anything she does.

[phineas]

Very true. There are people in my circle who blame what happened to my ex on me. It's my fault she cheated and it's my fault she is on drugs. She seemingly has no responsibility whatsoever for anything she does.

 

My wife blamed me for her cheating also.

As if I forced her to register on a dateing site when our first child was 4 months old.

 

As if I drove her to the OM's house & made her have sex with him.

As if I told her to go out after work & screw him in a cheap hotel or the back of his car outside a bar.

 

Please. If I was responcible for her actions why has she kept her affair from her friends?

 

After all, I made her do it. Clearly she was justified because I was such a horrible husband.

[TheLoneSock]

All of man's frustration with women can be solved with a pretty simple line from the move The Departed.

 

Mr. French: "Well make more ****in' money! This is America. You don't make money, then you're a ****in' douchebag."

 

 

Stop focusing on the other gender and focus more on yourself. If you increase your power (money, physical fitness, charm), everything else will fall into place. Including women being very interested in you.

 

Whether you like the way the world is right now or not doesn't matter. You have a problem and you have an answer, if you don't utilize that answer, then it's your fault you're not happy.

 

If you don't like something about your life, change it, don't complain.

 

Make more ****in' money. Work out more. Get OUT more. Increase your power.

[Woggle]

My wife blamed me for her cheating also.

As if I forced her to register on a dateing site when our first child was 4 months old.

 

As if I drove her to the OM's house & made her have sex with him.

As if I told her to go out after work & screw him in a cheap hotel or the back of his car outside a bar.

 

Please. If I was responcible for her actions why has she kept her affair from her friends?

 

After all, I made her do it. Clearly she was justified because I was such a horrible husband.

 

5 years after our divorce her friends act like I am tying her down and shooting crap into her veins or that I forced her to pull that trigger. Accountability is not a word that is in most women's vocabulary.

[phineas]

The funny part about this is the double standard. Whenever people (here and other forums) read this type of post, they say "Well, YOU are picking the wrong women" or "You need therapy to figure out why YOU pick people who cheat."

 

 

 

I have been cheated on a few times also. apparantly I pick the wrong women or they pick me.

 

It;s not my fault they cheated. However some of those women I make my GF I really shouldn't of. I ignored the red flags.

 

I won't do that anymore.

It still doesn't mean i'm safe from cheating. Some women sneak in under the radar.

 

However, I do know women who can honestly say just about every relationship they had ended with the guy cheating on them.

Hot women.

But then they went out with hot guys / players.

 

I cringe every time I hear a woman say "it was a great relationship right up until...." Are they in denial?

Do they date con-artists?

 

I don't understand how a relationship can be awsome & then one partner turns into the mate from hell over night.

[Green]

I don't care about any of it.

 

I'm no prize but I have no problem in what this thread calls the dating market. The trick is not caring, you obviously care, but if you found a way of not then you could just enjoy life whether or not you got rejected and you would probably stop being rejected.

 

and...

 

If my gf or wife cheated on me, tried to kill me or any other bad thing I would forgive and forget and wouldn't let that infect my mind for the next women.

[phineas]

5 years after our divorce her friends act like I am tying her down and shooting crap into her veins or that I forced her to pull that trigger. Accountability is not a word that is in most women's vocabulary.

 

yep. My soon to be ex talks to me like our seperation is because "we" didn't work out & means it.

 

She is nuts.

I really mean that.

One day she'll wake up & realize what she did.

But, I can assure you that day won't be anytime soon.

[betamanlet]

I don't care about any of it.

 

I'm no prize but I have no problem in what this thread calls the dating market. The trick is not caring, you obviously care, but if you found a way of not then you could just enjoy life whether or not you got rejected and you would probably stop being rejected.

 

and...

 

If my gf or wife cheated on me, tried to kill me or any other bad thing I would forgive and forget and wouldn't let that infect my mind for the next women.

 

That's the unfortunate truth. You have to not care. Don't care in the slightest about the person, don't get emotionally invested. Only if you do that you won't get hurt. Also, a key thing for guys, is to really not bother dating until you have lots of options. Any particular rejection will hurt less if you KNOW you have other women you can date. If a woman is what you think is your only option, you will be desperate, and it will hurt when she loses interest. Don't date until you have lots of options.

[betamanlet]

That's the unfortunate truth. You have to not care. Don't care in the slightest about the person, don't get emotionally invested. Only if you do that you won't get hurt. Also, a key thing for guys, is to really not bother dating until you have lots of options. Any particular rejection will hurt less if you KNOW you have other women you can date. If a woman is what you think is your only option, you will be desperate, and it will hurt when she loses interest. Don't date until you have lots of options.

 

 

I've never been married, so I cannot compare my situation, but I actually had an ex gf apoligize to me for lying and cheating on me, years after it had happened. She said, "I was a b*tch to you, sorry". I never thought I would live to hear that from any ex.