Forcing Marriage?

[PHMustang2000]

Lets say there were High School sweethearts and they dated for 6 years. They broke up because the women wanted to date another guy ("cough", me)

We dated for 3 1/2 years and are no longer dated because the guy moved away but still very close friends. Sometime while I was dating the her, the Ex confessed that he cheated on her while he was with her during those 6 years (jerk). While I, the guy has been struggling with clearing some debt. My ex has really been trying to date other guys. She found problems with them before setting the first date. So now I think she is just desperate but she is getting back with her ex and as soon as the agreed to finish were they left off. Her HS Sweetheart is practically begging her for marriage. First he begged her on the phone and she said it was too early we just got back together. Then the next time I call her she says she is buying a engagement ring because her mom saw a receipt for $400 for a ring and they instintly go and buy a ring. I may be shoved in the sidelines right now. But hello the guy cheated on you and why is he almost begging and forcing a marriage ASAP. Why is he in a hurry. Is it a bad sign when the guy wants to get married ASAP with constant begging. Also while me and the girl were dating he also purposed to his other girlfriend at the time. So he practically purposes to every girl he dates? Thats seems to me like he doesn't know what he wants. Who purposes to two different girls in a matter of a couple years and knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with her? Do any of these look like a guy that might use or mistreat my ex? Why does he perpose to two different girls? That does not feel like he really loves her. He did cheat on her before, he could do it again.

[Sadgati]

I read this a couple of times, and I don't know that I can answer your question at all but I will share my opinion and try.

 

You sound like you care about what happens to her since you remained friends.

 

What I was wondering was if she has she been married before? She sounds almost desperate from my point of view. If they were together six years, you dated three and a half maybe she thinks if she doesn't rush to get married she never will. At first she said it was too early, then rushes off to buy a ring 'just in case'... because she thinks he bought one, or am I misunderstanding something? First saying it is too soon...then rushing out to buy one because of a receipt? Why would her mom be that desperate for her and go along with it? Frankly, it puzzles me why they would do that.

 

If he proposes to and asks others to marry him often, maybe the ring was for some other girl. Was the receipt recent?

 

I suppose people can change if they want to and it does happen, but since he cheated on her before that means he is capable of doing it again. Personally, I wouldn't want to risk it, because once your trust has been betrayed, the doubt would remain in my head. I think I would always wonder IF..., when he got home late or IF, when he had to go away for the weekend, and it just wouldn't be worth it to me. Everyone is different though and some people learn from their mistakes, others don't. .....

 

It sounds like your protective instincts are kicking in...and you have a legitimate cause for concern due to his past history. Ultimately, she will do whatever she wants no matter what you say. Just be prepared to support her if she gets burned......again.

 

If he proposes often, I was curious if he has ever married or if they all rejected him.

[Sadgati]

One other thing, just because someone bought a ring, that doesn't mean it is for a girl or that it is an engagement ring.

[an hero]

That isn't forcing anything. I hope english is your second language.