AndySupertramp Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 (edited) Me and my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) have been dating for 14 months. Somewhere around the 7th month, I had intentions to be with another girl that I hid from her. I approached the second girl about having feelings for her, but she told me that she wasn't interested in having a relationship. Feeling guilty for not telling my girlfriend, I broke up with her, because I felt it was unfair to have a relationship with her at the time because I still had feelings for another woman. We had many disputes after this incident, but we were able to work things out after it had died. I did not have any sexual interaction with this other girl, and she never even had remote feelings for me. Recently, me and my girlfriend were having problems. It's hard to say if we were still "together", but she would still constantly tell me that she loved me, and that this relationship was her life. However, that same day before, she had told a guy that I had previously suspected of her to be interested in that she did indeed have feelings for him. The proceeding day, she kissed him. She continued to lie to me about what had happened, and then out of the blue refused to talk to me. It was only until 4 days afterwards that she had told me the truth about what had happened. Apparently she had been harboring feelings for this guy for a really long time. She said even months, although when I asked her many times before, she denied having feelings for him. However, after the two had kissed and almost started to initiate an intimate relationship behind my back, he told her that he was not over his exgirlfriend, and she felt betrayed. She said that she had given too much emotionally to him in so little time, and she regretted what she did. She eventually came back to me soon after, and told me she was not going to "talk" to him. I thought her intentions were that she wasn't going to speak to him, so I trusted her, and I was going to see if we could rebuild the relationship, even though she cheated on me. However, yesterday they were still talking, and from my friends, they were apparently really close and flirting. I approached her about the matter yesterday, and told her that I was not comfortable with them even being friends, because of what had happened. She then proceeded to tell me that she was still going to be his friend, and in many ways, was still waiting for him to accept her into a relationship. Being complicated and confusing, she has told me numerous times that they probably won't get together. While I don't believe her, I can't help but think that they might not. After thursday they won't see each other for weeks, and she said that I'm "going to laugh when I come crawling back to you". She said that she most likely will get over him, and she's gonna be pathetic and want me back. She keeps telling me things like, "He can't love me like you can" and "You deserve better". I guess what's confusing for me is whether or not to accept her back. I do love her still, and I'm going to be honest about the fact that I did something similar to what she did (although I did not have any sexual interaction with another individual, and did not plan to create a secret relationship). I'm also confused as to whether I can forgive her for kissing another person. The image is haunting my head over and over again, seeing as they're the ones that get to see each other so many hours of the day. Also, the fact that this other guy is a much better looking/much more attractive guy than I am, and it's really killing my self esteem. And to top everything off, I'm not entirely sure if she's telling me all the truths. Help please? I'm not so sure what to do with this one =/. Edited December 15, 2009 by AndySupertramp Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I'm not a huge fan of being a Plan B. If it were me, I would wish her luck and go find someone that want's me to be their Plan A. I guess its a self-respect thing. Even if she stayed with me forever, I would always see myself as a consolation prize. No thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AndySupertramp Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Am I still a Plan B if she says that she's trying to get over him? Also, should I make an abbreviated version? I don't know if everybody wants to read that huge wall of text. Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Well I read it all and it just seems like she putting you both on a stage and picking one. I don't buy all the 'flattering' things she said about knowing he won't love her like you do or how she'll be crawling back to you. If she was that certain, then there wouldn't even be a decision on her part. Sounds to me like classic sugar-coating knowing darn well she wants to take a crack at this guy and have you as a back-up in case it doesn't work out. I don't know, maybe I'm reading into it wrong, but the way you presented that really rubbed me the wrong way. I would tell her to go pound sand. Link to post Share on other sites
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