My GF acts a lot differently now, out all the time, I'm jealous.

[klinghoffer]

I've been trying not to care. when you worry all the time, it drives you nuts and causes stress.

 

 

my story is i'm 26, my girl is 22. We've been togther 4 years, since she was 18, we met at work.

 

 

We moved in together after a year of dating were so in love, constantly together...then 8 months ago she

started acting distant, not into sex, quiet a lot. Then 4 months ago i squeezed it out of her that she was

having second thoughts, was thinking about what it would be like to be on her own, because we had been

together since she was 18, she felt lost and unsure and felt bad for hurting me. So We Broke Up.

I was crushed, but i supported her decision and let her make plans to move out on her own away from me.

I didn't want her to stay in a relationship with me, only to grow to resent me for not doing what she felt she

needed to do for herself and her life.

 

anyway, she never left. We started doing our own things, but after 2 months she eventually begged me to

take her back and do things different. Her big thing was that she loved me, she knew she could be happy

with me the rest of her life, But that she always felt bad about going out with friends or felt like she was stuck and

couldn't go out, which was silly because i always said that we should be a couple but have our own spaces and not make

it seem like we were married, just because we live together, but be faithful to each other of course.

 

 

Well, here's my prob: Things seemed like they were on the up, we even took a trip to Hawaii together since we got back

together...But she doesn't seem much into sex at all, she kisses me, but doesn't kiss me really passionately or look at me like she used to.

She still tells me that she loves me and seems happy with me, but i think only because NOW, she goes out with her friends from work(guys and girls)

a lot more than she ever used to. In fact, a lot of the time, I have to go and pick her up from parties because she's had too much to

drink and can't drive. She's more sneaky than she used to be. She'll tell me that she's going to her best friend Katies house(who she works with) for dinner and just to watch movies...But what i find out is that they did that, but there was also alcohol and 6 of her work friends were there too. It just bugs me. She's so bad at communcation or telling me her feelings, that i never know what's truly on her mind.

I have to admit i get jealous because I know that there is a guy at her job that likes her. I don't know, I guess i wonder if maybe we really should have SPLIT UP the first time and had some REAL time away from each other.

 

What Do You Think??

[CostumeSmile]

It's hard to say but I think she left in search of freedom and indepence and found it was a harsh and unfreindly world therefore came back to you-her comfort zone. I think that her needing space and time away is a sign that she still has the same issues, she needs to explore new things. I think in a way she feels safe with you and probably depends on you for a lot therefor she feels obligated to stay that and it was probably a lot harder out there on her own.

 

I mean it's understandable, her being so young when you got together for her to feel like she's been missing out on certain things. I think she's just confused, she loves you and doesn't want to leave you but at the same time wants to explore new things.

 

I really have no easy answer to this, seems she needs to be let go...Let her spread her wings and fly. You can't let her do as she pleases or she'll walk all over you. Talk to her about this.

[klinghoffer]

You're right costume.

 

 

She doesn't invite me out to her outtings with her work friends, because I sort of think she wants

that to be HER time. I mean i did once say I didn't like going because All they talk about is work and

the crazy times they have over there(they work at a music store). So ever since then, She doesn't Invite me

at all.

 

 

And I think you're right about the comfort zone. I mean when we got back together she said she wanted to make

things better and share responsiblitlies (because I pay all the rent and all the util. She buys dinners and some groceries)

But She hasn't done any of that, or brought it up at all. She doesn't buy any groceries ever or do any laundry(because she doesn't like to go down the Hall by herself)

 

Anyway, I feel like things have been uncomfortable and not like they used to be, way too long, that now, I feel something

needs to be said or done.

 

She invited me(finally) out to dinner with her and one of her work friends, but i feel like telling her to go without me...because i

feel like she's only inviting me because she feels bad since she went out and parited last night and came home 3 hours later than she said

and didn't tell me it was even a party, but that it was a dinner and a movie with her friend. I don't know, should i go?

 

Maybe it's time to talk.

[bryanp]

To Kinghoffer,

 

I am sorry but I feel I must give you some tough love here.

The bottom line is that she is using you.

What a great set-up for her. You pay all of the bills and she goes out and parties

and gets drunk with her friends. She disrespects you and lies to you on top of this. After she parties and enjoys herself she comes back to you Mr. safetynet who pays all of the bills.

My question to you is why would you want to be in a relationship and have a live in girlfriend who enjoys the single life. is dishonest to you and you have to pick up at parties because she is too drunk. My friend you are settling for far too little and you are paying all of the bills. I hate to say this but it really sounds like you are her sugardaddy and she gives you just enough time and affection to keep you paying the bills while she goes out and enjoys the single life without having to deal with any of the financial consequences.

The bottom is that she is playing you for her benefits and disrespecting you. Wake up and tell her to move on and out so you can find someone in the future who can respect you, your feelings and who wishes to be in a committed relationship with you. This is something your so-called girlfriend is unable or unwilling to give to you. You deserve better than this in your life. Wake up!

[klinghoffer]

Bryan, Costume, You guys are sooo right.

 

 

I'm dumb.

 

I started out paying all the bills and paying the rent because I had the bigger paycheck and I wanted her to be able

to have money for school/books etc. But now she's not even in school and hasn't been for 1-1/2 years.

 

I feel a little taken advantage of. I agree with you though, and thank you for showing me The Light. I'm going to have a talk with her.

And things need to change, otherwise, i think maybe it's time to call it quits. I love her very much and we get along so well,

But i guess deep down, even though i 'm denying it, We could get along together just as well, As Friends. Sad But True.

I mean, I'm sort of at the point now, where it's starting to feel like we are just really really good friends. Friends who snuggle occasionally and kiss sometimes and Do Not have sex with each other. oh well, Cest la vie if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out...At least this time I don't think I will be as hurt and as heart broken as I was the first time we parted. I guess I just neede some advice and thoughts from other people.

 

 

Thanks Guys.

[CostumeSmile]

Your not "dumb" at all, your in love and stepping up to the plate as a man, this girl is not doing her part as a "woman". If I had a man like you I'd make sure all your needs where met, I mean she has it made!

 

If she invited you go with her, you love her and you want things to change so this is one small step towards that. In the end I think that you need to talk to her clearly and sternly, let her know that things can't continue the way they where. You guys are committed, if she can't handle that than she isn't ready to be living with a man.

[klinghoffer]

Thanks Costume, I really appreciate your advice-

 

(I'LL KEEP THIS AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE-LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK..)

 

I Actually did talk to her on Friday Night and laid it all out to see what she would say.... she had invited me to go to a late movie with her best friend from work Katie as i mentioned before, so i went. The whole time i felt like a third wheel, she would hold my hand ocassionally, call me "darling" every once in a while, an "I Love You" now and then But i still felt that weirdness. She was caught up the whole time with her and bestfriend's work talk about what so-and-so did or this girl likes this boy, who likes who etc..

Over all, it was alright, i guess i shouldn't have gone... we got home after the movie and I thought her bestfriend was just going home but as we get in the house and get settled, my girl tells me that they are going out for about an hour or two, she doesn't bother to tell me where she is going,,,It was 12:15am!! I'm just confused, i don't even bother to ask questions and feeling fed up so i just say, okay well be safe, see you later...I just felt done, caring about everything.

 

She comes home 2 hours later, i talk to her: I tell her things are different and i feel like she's being sneaky and secretive and where was she..

She told me they both went over to another work buddie's house(the guy who i know likes my girl, which she swears up and down, she doesn't like back)

 

It's so hard to get her to share her thoughts, she always gets so quiet, but i told her I felt like she doesn't want to be with me, She didn't say anything. I told her i loved her but that she isn't doing anything around the house, she's always out and even though she calls to say she's alright, she's frequently staying over at her bestfriend's house overnight sometimes just because their playing drinking games or watching movies really late, she doesn't seem to want to kiss me, sex ALL THAT STUFF..

 

It was pretty much like me talking to myself. I'll ask her questions and she either says nothing or she says I GUESS.

she didn't say much, all she said was that, she doesn't invite me to things because she wants HER time. She said she feels bad going out and wants to be able to do anything she wants, whenever she wants. I told her i thought that she wants to be on her own again and that the reason she doesn't want to be with me is becasue she wants to try dating around...She said I guess. That's was it. We both fell asleep, nothing resolved , whatever..

 

I take her to work the next morning(becasue her car is still over at her friend's house since 3 nights ago when she had to get a ride home for drinking a tad too much). She's crying, she looks sad, she keeps coming over to hug me...I say: "we need to come to a resolution", she says: "I thought we already did, I Thought that I'm Leaving" And I'm thinking, what? She barely said anything. I think her big thing is that, We've been together since she was 18. I think she keeps that on her mind a lot as a justifyable reason for her actions. She's restless and wants to be free, I just wish she would tell me so we could get on with our lives, I love her so much, too much maybe, but she's breaking my heart and it hurts a lot.

 

Anyway,,, I think that I need to move out. I need to get away. I can't do the uncomfortable living together thing again, waiting around for her to get the motivation to move out. Maybe she's just influenced by her bestfriend, because 2 weeks ago, she broke up with Her boyfriend of

7 years, because she too is confused about what she wants and has been with her man since they were 16.

 

Do you think it's wrong of me to move out, she can't make the rent on her own, I was thinking i would just stay friend's house for a couple of weeks, help her out with the rent and just let her take care of herself, figure out what she's gonna do, I know we can't be together anymore, It hurts me to tears, but I know i'm dumb for staying in this relationship, she needs to grow up and be on her own.

 

What do you think???

[bicylejunk]

Why didn't you move out the first time she did this?

[klinghoffer]

because I love her. I truly do. And if you had seen all the love she showed me, the first 3 years, you too would be confused.

 

Even up until last week. I mean things were feeling weird intimacy-wise but she would still say stuff like: "I love you, you're the best boy in the world", or silly things like "I wore your sweater to work, so if people asked why it is so big, i could say Becasue It's My Boyfriends" Or just the "I love yous", why would she say I love you, if she wants out? ???

[greenapple]

Sounds to me like she's just being a bit selfish. she just wants other things and hasn't quite gorwn up yet.

I'd say move out and let her be a woman. Maybe she'll come begging again.

[CostumeSmile]

I told her i thought that she wants to be on her own again and that the reason she doesn't want to be with me is because she wants to try dating around...She said I guess. That's was it. We both fell asleep, nothing resolved , whatever..

 

She said it! She wants out, she is just afraid of saying it that's why the next morning she assumed a conclusion had been made.

 

"I thought we already did, I Thought that I'm Leaving"

She is willing to go, let her move.......her best friends house maybe? I mean she spends so much time there already.

 

I think you should let her move out but if you move that's fine too.

 

I really think that she loves you but not in "that way" anymore, she seems to scared to hurt you. It's sad but true, sometimes people just grow apart and one stays in love by him/herself....sucks! Good luck

[hurtinrealbad]

As much as I hate to say this to you, I think it's time to move on. From what I've read here, it seems that your girl is nowhere near ready for a serious relationship. If she was, she wouldn't be disrespecting you by leaving at 1215 am and going over to some other guys house.

 

Had it been me, I probably would have gone over to that house, kicked in the door and thrown down some good old fashioned whoop ass. Don't be so naive as to think that her little get togethers are so innocent and that he is just a friend. Those words, "oh, he's just a friend", are burned into my mind and when a woman says that to me, I become so enraged I just about explode.

 

Not that women can't have male friends, but there's a way that they say it and a secrecy about them that you can't deny. If the situation were reversed, what would you be doing???? I've used the phrase myself and I know what I was doing....

 

I think she has already told you in her own little pathetic and immature way that she doesn't want a relationship with you anymore that she wants to play the field. As much as it hurts and as much as you want to deny it, don't be walked all over like a rug, stand up like a man, do what you have to do and move on. Believe me there are plenty of girls out there that are just as good if not better than your girlfriend is.

 

Oh yeah, save the moving in together for marriage. One sure fire way to ruin a relationship is to move in together, at least that has been my experience. Both partners need their own space and privacy and when you live togehter that doesn't exist. You're trying to live like you're married when you're really just single.

 

Hang in there and think about what I said. Ultimately it's up to you what you're going to do, but for the sake of the men in the world, make the right decision and give her a little taste of her own medicine and give her the boot.

[jmargel]

She needs to mature, and what that requires IMO, that SHE move out, and that YOU DON'T PAY ANY OF HER BILLS. Let her realize that its a tough world out there. That what she is doing is NOT the norm. Don't feel sorry for her, and don't feel guilty. If she wants her space, fine but this will show her not everything in life will be handed to her on a silver platter.

 

I would assume almost every woman (i'm male) needs to live on her own. She needs that sense of independence that she can do things for herself. Same thing happened with my ex-fiancee.. Met her while she was 18, and 5 years later she moved out for that reason. I don't have that problem now with my current gf, she's been on her own for a year.

 

I know it hurts, sometimes love isn't fair. Just make sure you aren't available to her 24/7. She needs to realize she can lose you forever. Also, in a few weeks when you talk to her, just briefly mention you went out with a female friend. Watch her reaction.. I'm sure that'll wake her up some.

[SLCJR]

I agree with what everyone is saying - you need to give her space, and let her go. It seems like she doesn't have the nerve to leave out of fear and selfishness. I don't however think you should lie, and say you went out with a female friend just to get a reaction out of her.... why create another source of friction or reason for her to dig at you??

 

Good luck.

[klinghoffer]

Thanks Guys-

 

 

 

Just consider this heart a little at ease now. I feel a tiny bit better about things. I talked to her in Gigantic, major detail last night and she actually opened up bigtime, more than she ever has. At least I know exactly where we stand now. We went thru all the emotions, both cried in each other's arms etc etc.

 

I'm moving out and she's getting her own place too. I'm really hurt and i'm crushed and i was so sure we were perfect for each other

but maybe our relationship just ran it's course. I know things werent perfect, our communication wasn't great, a few misunderstandings here and there, but all in all I thought it was good...It wouldn't feel right to forget about all of this and try to make it work again. I mean this is the second time we've had to have this conversation regarding THE FUTURE OF US. She doubted things 4/5 months and we thought THAT was the end. But we tried to work through it and now were right back at the same place. It's a sign. We've been together a long time. We had so much fun together and loved each other those first couple of years, So Much! but it's just time for her to move out into the world on her own

 

we still love each other very much, but sometimes, i guess people outgrow each other. Love isn't perfect and I understand that

more now.

 

It's a big sign, it's just time to move on for both of us. Of course I wanted so badly to beg her not to leave, to Please Stay, Let's make this work, I want us to be together forever!! BUT, Honestly, Things are a bit too far gone for that. I mean it sounds stupid...It's like, Am I Kidding Myself? I Love This Girl, I Shouldn't Just Let Her Walk Out Of My Life Like This...But at the same time, do I want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do? No, i don't. I want her to do what she needs to do, what she feels she has to do. There's a sort of restlessness in the mix. She's gotta get out and i gotta get out, so i can pretty much heal from this. It actually feels time to go. If you all had seen her last night, i actually felt really really bad for her because, she is really having a very very hard time with this. It's something she needs to do for herself and it's very hard for her to do this to me because she knows that she's hurting me. She's had such a hard time trying to get the courage and clarity to tell me she's unhappy. All the irresponsible behavior and being out all the time was her way of dealing with the guilt of it all. She apologized many many many times last night, said this was all her doing and that she was so so sorry. And i felt pain in her words. It's just one of those things, I love her too much to hate her for any of this. I love her and I'm going to stand by her decision because all i want is for her to be happy.

 

So anyway, were both single kids now, going our seperate ways soon. I wanna thank you all for givng all this good advice. I made it kind of long and wanted to share my conclusion so that maybe a few of you out there that are sufferring from the same thing can maybe get something or learn something from my story. Love is a crazy thing.

 

 

Thanks

[jmargel]

You are a big man to let her go out on her own. You never know maybe she'll realize that you are the one & someday come back to you. But you need to start focusing on yourself now. Start doing things to make yourself happy. Go out & have fun. Yea, you will have alot of memories of her, and it'll hurt for quite awhile. But time does heal wounds. I know that sounds cliche, but its true.

 

When my ex-fiancee left, the first thing I did was to see my doctor. She listened to my story for about an hour, when what she told me is SO true. You go through a griefing process, almost like she died. Even if you have contact with her, it still isn't the same. So be prepared for that, and at one point in time you will come to 'true' acceptance. You might not really understand what i'm talking about right now, but you will when it happens to you.

 

When a day goes by you don't think of her, or when the day comes and you look at her and don't see the same girl you fell in love with is the day you know you are completely over her.

 

Love is a huge risk, and the reason why it hurts so much at times, is because it feels so good when you fall into it.

 

Hang in there!

[JamesAddiction]

I don't know about everyone else but...i'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM THIS THREAD. i'VE LEARNED THAT I'M NOT ALONE.

There are other guys out there with True Hearts...

 

 

I've gone through a similar thing in my life. You can't force someone to be with you if they don't

want to be with you. Love isn't like the movies or like the story books say. Some people don't

live happily ever after, even when the relationship looks so good and promising. I lived half of my life

with a fairy tale heart, but it's been broken before. So now i live with an open but cautious heart.

Humans are complicated beings. Some people can be so unpredictable. You never know what's going

to happen in this life. One thing I do know for a fact, is, Once you've been been truly in Love with someone,

you never love another the same way. Happiness is possible and getting on with your life after a hurtful

break-up is very achievable, but you'll never forget your first True Love. I know because, i've had about

3 "Real" girlfriends and I only ever think about The One. She's the only one that I just Knew was The One.

[klinghoffer]

I know she's unhappy. I know she wants to experince life on her own, be out in the world on her own after our years together...I've come to realize that, i Truly don't think that it's a comfort-zone thing for her, being with me, because she seems too cut up about the whole thing. She's not scared to be on her own, she's scared she's making a bad decision.

 

I though we had made a decision, she's moving out, i'm moving out too, but we would try to remain friends, BUT, she keeps coming up to me, crying in my arms, telling me she loves me. She even left work early, yesterday, Becasue she was feeling so sad about us and wanted to be with me. We spent the day together at home, watched TV, snuggled, baked cookies, then I find her in our room and she's crying her eyes out and saying to me: "I don't know what's wrong with me, why am I doing this, I love you, I want to be with you...

 

Honestly, I don't know what to tell her to make her feel better. Of course I want to tell her: "then stay, Stay with me, I promise we will make things so good and we'll have such a beautiful life together"... But i can't be selfish, I want to do what's right for her and what's right for US...I want to help her and give her advice, But when she's crying in my arms telling me that she Loves me with such love and pain in her teary eyes, how can i say:" i know but maybe we should still split up, have our own spaces, be on your own" etc etc.

 

It's hard and it hurts and i'm confused, I want her to be happy, but I don't want to alienate her or lose her by pushing her to go off away from me...

 

 

I'm bummin', I felt more at ease about things in my last post, but now i just want to know what to do in this situation...It shouldn't be so hard to figure things out..We know we love each other....Ugh! what to do.

[greenapple]

feel for ya man, I wish I had some good advice but I don't, Just hang in there.

[klinghoffer]

So we talked again...I probably sound stupid to you all by now and this is probably really boring but...

 

 

Turns out, she's not scared to be on her own, she's just scared to lose me by going out on her own,

and as she says, what if she doesn't find herself out there and then it was all a waste, she will have

ruined us and lost me and she knows she loves me and wants to be with me, but is scared she'll never

get that feeling of wanting to be free out of her head, but doesn't even know what she wants to do

with her life once she gets out there.

 

 

SO she goes out again last night with her friend, I go out with my friend. All I ask is that, Since she is a girl. since i care about her very much and since we still live together, is that she at least call if it gets late, just to let me know that she's alright, should

I leave a light on, should I lock up the door completely, is she gonna be staying over at her friend's house, etc.

Just call me.....You don't have to tell me what you're doing, where you are, just let me know that you are safe and

if you're coming home or not so I don't worry.

 

So She doesn't call. Haven't seen her since 8AM, she finally calls at 1:30 in the morning, sounding really bad apologizing because

she and her friend and this guy that she works with, were drinking wine and she fell asleep...so that's why she didn't call.

what do I say to that? she apologized but what am I supposed to say?

 

 

Am I STupid??? This Whole Thing Is driving me Insane. Will someone commit me please?

[bryanp]

Hello Kinghoffer again,

 

I will not say you are stupid but that you are thinking with your heart and not your head. Again look at the facts:

What she is saying to you is that she wants you as a backup in case she does not meet someone else in the future or is unable to pay her rent. She wishes to keep you on a string while she attempts to "experience life" which means being involved with other men. I hate to be harsh but you need to open your eyes.

 

It says a great deal again how subconsciously she disrespects you. All she has to do is make a phone call to you but she was too tired being with her friend and another guy. It is ridiculous her lack of concern and respect for you. There is an old saying which I believe is quite true. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Her actions are speaking volumes to you but you refuse to listen. The fact is that she sees you as Mr. Backup man in case she does not find someone better or cannot hack it financially.

 

You really sound like a great guy so why not move on and meet a great girl who will not treat you as leftovers. You are allowing her to manipulate your emotions and common sense. One more time:

look at her actions and not at her words. You deserve much better than this and I think you know this yourself. Good luck.

[jmargel]

I would have to agree with BryanP. She comes to you crying yet she continues to do the same thing. She is not past her 'party' stage so let her get that outta her system. Another year or two will go by and one day she will wake up and realized that you moved on. She will then be feeling alot of regret, etc..

 

You sound like you are pretty mature, and so you probably know during this time she will be taken advantage of, but that isn't your fault. You tried your best. No one else could do anymore than what you have for her. Sometimes people need to learn on their own.

 

Don't let her smooth talk you into feeling bad for her. Sounds like she thrives on that. She's only feeling sorry for herself, and not respecting your feelings at all. If she 'truly' loves you and 'truly' cares about you she would stop going out with other men, spending the night there. I know its hard to take in, but it sounds like maybe you shouldn't trust her as much as you do.

 

I know its easy to give advice, and sometimes hard to take it. If my gf was doing this I would probably be acting the same way to a certain point. But this isn't going to get resolved by continuing the same path as you had in the past with her.

 

Tell her that actions speak louders than words, and until she 'shows' you better, than you are taking her words with a grain of salt.

 

Also, start going out with other females, even as just for friends. This will be a 'wake' up call for your gf. Trust me on this!

[klinghoffer]

I Know I Know. You guys are right.

 

I really don't know what it is that I'm hanging on to. She's turning out to be someone i didn't think

she was, handling things in a way I feel are disrespectful and cheesy and i guess Part of me is holding

out for her to come to her senses today...Not 3 months from now. She says it's not because she wants to date other guys,

But i can't understand, if that's the case, why she needs to get rid of what we have in order to

pursue what she wants in life. Why doesn't she just tell me that She's Over Me and call it a day.

she doesn't tell me exactly how she wants it. I have to dig around and squeeze things out of her.

Instead she plays this back and forth game with me and I'm too dumb and I care too much to just

dump her and turn my back on her.

 

Actions speak louder than words is the Slogan of the Year for me.

 

So she didn't come home, she stayed over last night since she drank too much wine and fell asleep as she says.

I left for work this morning and she came home after i left, got ready

for work and went to work as well. She left me a note, which I got when I just went home at lunch and it read:

 

"I'm so very sorry I didn't call much earlier last night, I was stupid. You are the greatest Boy in the world,

Please Please know that!!!....Love, Me."

 

But It doesn't phase me. It's just words at this point.

 

I think i'm just bummed because, I have no money to move out right now, She's taking her time obviously,

I wanna let HER move out, since I pay the rent and then I can figure out what it is I wanna do. I just don't want to be

bitter or cold to her. But it's difficult to be around her, So part of me wants to avoid going home if she's there, i know

she'll be hurt by that...I just want to get on with my life one way or the other.

 

I appreciate all your advice guys....I'm getting too much of the same answers, I guess it's pretty clear what I need

to do, It just sucks.

[bryanp]

Hello Again once more,

 

I don't have anything to add to what I have already said but I think it is very interesting the note she left you.

 

"I am so very sorry for not calling much earlier last night, I was stupid. Your the greatest boy in the world. Please, Please know that. Love Me!

 

 

I think people actually say a lot about their true self when they write. What do we get from this note. Let's analyze it. "She said she was sorry for not calling because she was stupid." What she meant was I am sorry if this makes you upset with me but I am very inconsiderate of your feelings and don't care that much about you but heck don't be mad at me for showing you how little you mean to me.

 

"Your the greatest boy in the world." What she means is that in her eyes you are still a boy and you are great for putting up with all the **** she does to you. You are great for putting up with this because she knows most men (not boys) would have too much self-respect to put up with this crap.

 

"Please, please know that. Love Me!" Actually I think this is such a telling sentence.

Notice she does not say I Love You with all of my heart or just I Love You! Instead she ends this note by saying Love Me! A beautiful example of a selfish self-centered person. What she means is love me nobody what I do to you and do not expect anything in return.

 

You seem to love a girl who enjoys constantly being away from you, getting drunk with friends male and female and wants to be able to come back to you if she cannot find anything better. You keep saying why does she not tell me upfront. She is telling you over and over again by her actions. The more you allow her to disrespect the more she will disrespect you. Some people need to hit bottom to open their eyes. I am afraid you are one of these people. It is sad because I am sure there is someone out there who would really appreciate you. Unfortunately, you are hanging on to an illussion. Being a mature person is the ability to recognize that people and circumstances change and dealing with it and moving to other challenges in life. You are hanging on and she is hanging you out to dry.

Good Luck.

[klinghoffer]

She always ends notes with ME...as in "Love, Margret or "Love, Peggy"...."Have A Good Day..Love, ME"

 

She also always calls me, "Darling Boy" or Beautiful Boy" it's just a silly pet name.

 

 

But I hear Ya. This is just a difficult turn of events. My life is changing now. She wasn't always so disrespectful

or irresponsible either, She constantly told me she loved me, I was her True Love, All That. That's why it sucks

because she's acting so different. She constantly asks lately, if i hate her. She doesn't care that much about me, I know

that now. Or if she does. she has a funny way of showing it now.

 

I'm done, I'll figure it out...Again thanks for all your advice....I'll just stop being so available to her, I won't expect her to call or

care to worry about her when she's out late and I'll be cordial, but i'll just simply wait for her to move out so she can live her life however she wants to live it.

It's pointless to try to fix our relationship...Everyone keeps telling me to move on, I know That I should,

So That's what i'm going to do.