wecancope Posted December 20, 2003 Share Posted December 20, 2003 Hi, I should have started a new thread in the "Second Chance" section as my situation with my ex has kind of changed, but I continued using the thread I started with in the "Breaking up" section. The thread is: "Don't let your ex have control of the situation. They split up with you.", which is stupid title to call the thread as my situation has changed now. Could you please read the thread from the Breaking up forum, so it saves me writing it all down again in this forum. I'd like to continue my old thread onto this forum and I could really do with some extra advice! Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianBornCutie Posted December 20, 2003 Share Posted December 20, 2003 What a long thread! Well i have a question do you want to get back together with her? Also you said she texted you and she said I'm glad we're talking again i'll always be here for you etc....... From what i can tell you were really bitter about the breakup. She probably wasn't looking for a ticket out of the relationship, she probably did care for you....and she was proabbly struggling like you were with the whole relationship factor and everything.......it seems like you both had it tough. Now IF you really do want to be with her again than, take it slow, don't ignore her completely because i think right now she is just happy that you two are on okay terms again. For what she means about I'll always be here for you probably means no matter what happens she'll always consider you a friend. If your in a pinch she'll probably try to help you out. You really need a ride somewhere and she happens to be there she'll give you a lift that kind of thing. For you two you both should just i think take things SLOW be nice to each other, the past is the past and from what I can tell you both are trying to forgive or in the stages of forgiveness....... do not forget (many lessons can be learned from the past) So don't not reply to her, just wait a couple days and say Hey! hows it going all well? etc, slowly you'll build a friendship and then a stronger bond....and IF you BOTH want then you can decide whether it's stime to reconcile. it just seemed like you were in two different places at the wrong time....the timing was off...different places in your lives.... i hope this helps....but if i'm way off base let me know! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wecancope Posted December 20, 2003 Author Share Posted December 20, 2003 Thanks for the reply CanadianBornCutie, To anwser your question, yes I do want to get back together wit her. I don't know how much of the previous thread you read, but it has all been so confusing since the day she split up with me (as it probably is for anyone else). It's the sequence of events that have taken place since that day that I can't seem to understand. I understand that things were getting too much for the both of us and that she needed to break free from the situation. But why couldn’t she just move on from that day forward and take advantage of the split up, to sort herself out and to figure out what she wanted out of life. In a way I accepted and respected her decision, and that is why I never phoned or emailed her, because I was hurt, I was in such a state, that I needed to be alone to start licking my wounds. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her or that I didn’t want to try and work things out! I just had to accept and respect her decision! Why did she have to phone and text me from that day onwards? She should know that once you make such a big decision, you should leave that person alone. Didn’t she get the hint, when I never replied to her text messages and even when I never phoned her. Two weeks of not hearing from me must have been a bit of a hint! What was the purpose of her eventually phoning me, asking me if I wanted contact or not. She could have just let it be, and got on with her life, knowing that if I wanted to contact her, I knew where to contact. I truly believe that when you make such a big decision, such as breaking up with someone, you leave that person alone to grieve, knowing that there is nothing they can do to ease the pain. And that is why I ended up sending her that email I posted on the other thread! Cause I thought that was it, the end, move on with my life. Then Butterfly1 came along to my thread, and she gave me totally new perspective of the situation, and from that day onwards she has guided me and adviced me what to do! But unfortunately, I'm the kind of person that needs straight anwsers, and I really do want to say to her "What is it you want from me?", cause the whole friendship thing may be a bit too much to handle at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianBornCutie Posted December 20, 2003 Share Posted December 20, 2003 Perhaps instead of asking her what she wants from you, you can tell her what you want from her? i.e i don't know if this friendship thing is working Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts