ella23 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) I made a thread a while ago about how my breasts were sagging and my bf broke up with me over it, because I didn't want to get a lift done. I've been dating someone new for a while, didn't think it would lead to anything serious, but it has(sort of). We've been intimate a few times. He's tried to sleep with me a few times, and I want to, but I'm scared about his reaction. What do I do, tell him in advance, break up or what? Edited December 17, 2009 by ella23 Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Can you post a picture of your chest (without your face so noone can recognize you) so that we can see if things are truly that bad or if you are just being insecure? I am curious as I sort of have a similar problem. Link to post Share on other sites
an hero Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 This is something you are going to have to conquer when you are in a real relationship. If he loves you, it won't matter. It won't matter to most guys anyway, if everything else is in order. Link to post Share on other sites
ann09 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Awww I feel for you. After having 3 kids, my girls aren't very perky either (at all). I think at times we don't realize that men may not be as judgmental as we think they are. The things that bother us about our bodies may not seem like a big deal to them. Of course the constant competition we have with every perfect celebrity doesn't help our self esteems. If this guy doesn't like you after you show him your less than perfect breasts, then he isn't worth it. I know you're scared and embarrassed, but eventually the relationship will have to go to that level. Be confident, as confidence is far more sexy than a great pair of boobs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 ^^^I'm 20. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 any man that would break-up with a woman over her boobs, isn't woth your time. a woman so much more than what's on her chest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 I don't know about my ex, but I really like this guy. When things are naturally progressing to sex, I back off, which I think he finds a bit strange though he has not said anything. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I think at times we don't realize that men may not be as judgmental as we think they are. The things that bother us about our bodies may not seem like a big deal to them. ^^^^^^^^^^^^ Quoted for TRUTH^^^^^^^^^^ This is soooooo true, Ella. If you don't believe me, ask Mr 6-pack that tells me how sexy I am and my body is FAR from perfect. It has A LOT to do with attitude. And there are definitely guys out there that are not as shallow as your piece-of-crap xbf. Do NOT let him ruin you. If this is going to continue to be a concern, I would highly recommend you sit down with him and explain what happened with your ex. Otherwise, you are risking pushing away what could be a great guy. Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 While I think it's horrible that you have been dumped for this reason, and I doubt most guys would do that, in fact, the woman I was craziest about had what she self described as "spaghetti boobs". I think women are a bit more judgmental about penis size. I have nothing to be embarrassed about, nothing to brag about, but whenever a relationship ends, there's always some sort of penis insult involved, and the relationship usually ends with me being cheated on. So I would think male penis size is a much bigger issue than the appearance of a woman's breasts. I've dated women who have been flatter chested than I am, and I didn't care in the slightest. Link to post Share on other sites
Kiowa Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I understand how you feel about your breasts since mine aren't what they once were due to weight gain and loss. But, I also remember what a guy told me once about the best breasts he ever saw. He said they were on an ex-girlfriend of his and he said they were very saggy but he loved them just the same. And the look on his face told me he was telling the truth. It really is all in the attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Probably about 99% of guys don't care about boobs so long as the girl has some. I doubt your ex broke up for you because of that.. maybe used that as a cheap excuse to end it. And I agree with betamanlet.. women are much more judgmental and cruel when it comes to guys size issues. Guys know what they are getting when they go after a girl.. so if we are going for you.. we obviously like what we see. You women end up waiting till its go time and then you decide to go for it or leave the guy "hangin" cause it just wasn't what you were hoping for. Its adaptable for women.. make or break for guys.. we get alot more stressed out over the penis then you do over boobs.. Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Its adaptable for women.. make or break for guys.. we get alot more stressed out over the penis then you do over boobs.. It has been my experience that women are far more likely to be insecure about their breasts than I've ever been about my Anaconda of Love. ...What? Okay, fine. My Python of Like. Er... garden snake of... SHUT UP, DON'T JUDGE ME! /flee. Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 It has been my experience that women are far more likely to be insecure about their breasts than I've ever been about my Anaconda of Love. ...What? Okay, fine. My Python of Like. Er... garden snake of... SHUT UP, DON'T JUDGE ME! /flee. Well, that might have to do because generally, women are a lot more insecure then men are about most things. How many men have insulted a woman by saying "you have small boobs!". I'm sure just about every guy has been told by an angry woman "well, you have a small dick!" which she says to make you feel bad about yourself. Women also worry about their clothes and shoes a lot more than men do. Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I'm not too great in relationships, but I've actually never mishandled one so badly that the lady felt the need to insult my... attributes. Not to my face anyway. The insecurity (again, from my experience) doesn't seem to have much to do with things guys have said as much as unrealistic comparisons between people who have entire teams behind them to help make them look good; celebrities. A lot of women seem completely oblivious to how beautiful they really are, simply because they aren't wearing a Hollywood mask. Though clearly, some miss it because ignorant things have been said to them, or this thread wouldn't be here. Link to post Share on other sites
thatguy85 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) DEFINITELY do not break up with him over this. Imagine this conversation: Your friend: "Hey girl, how are you and your boyfriend doing?" You: "We broke up" Friend: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! WHY?" You: "Because I don't like my boobs" Friend: "..........." Don't let your scumbag ex make you so insecure about your body that you'd be missing out on a good thing. Your boobs are fine. I haven't even seen them and I know they are fine. I know this because I'm a guy. The new guy sounds like a nice guy who ALREADY KNOWS that you are insecure about your body, and doesn't want to say anything that will make you feel bad. I must say though that if you continue to stop progress with him, he might think something is wrong him him, and he might get frustrated and stop trying. I've been there before myself. I was sort of hooking up with a girl who didn't like her body, and she was too embarrassed to show me it. After being rejected about 5 times, I just got frustrated and assumed it just wasn't going to happen. Ladies listen up... WE GUYS DON'T CARE IF YOUR BOOBS ARE A LITTLE SAGGY, IF YOU HAVE STRETCH MARKS, OR A SCAR, OR ANY OF THAT. WE ALREADY HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT YOUR BODY LOOKS LIKE JUST BY SEEING YOU CLOTHED AND THEN IMAGINING WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE NAKED. IF WE ARE DATING YOU, KISSING ON YOU AND TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, THEN IT MEANS WE HAVE ALREADY APPROVED OF YOU. STOP BEING YOUR OWN PERSONAL COCK-BLOCKER. I think you that the next time you are with him, and things are getting intimate, just tell him: (*Whisper voice*)"Hey... I just want to let you know that I kind of don't like my breasts, and I've been embarrassed to show you". This will give him the message that there is nothing wrong with him, justifies why you've stopped the progress in the past, and will let him know that you are ready to get naked with him. He will most likely smirk and say something back like "I'm sure your chest is absolutely fine". He is telling the truth, and when he says this... he is really saying "Let me see you naked now please and lets screw". Have fun. Edited December 17, 2009 by thatguy85 Link to post Share on other sites
D-Jam Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Ella, you're letting ONE GUY determine in your mind if you have a "flaw". My GF's ex-husband got on her to get a boob job and such, and she would even show me insecurity, thinking that she wasn't pretty enough because of things he's said when they were married. Now she's not worried, because he was being unrealistic and she realizes it. Sleep with your new man...if he says it too then you might think about it. For all you know he'll not have any issues and thus you see it's just one guy's opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Love2love7 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 DEFINITELY do not break up with him over this. Imagine this conversation: Your friend: "Hey girl, how are you and your boyfriend doing?" You: "We broke up" Friend: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! WHY?" You: "Because I don't like my boobs" Friend: "..........." Don't let your scumbag ex make you so insecure about your body that you'd be missing out on a good thing. Your boobs are fine. I haven't even seen them and I know they are fine. I know this because I'm a guy. The new guy sounds like a nice guy who ALREADY KNOWS that you are insecure about your body, and doesn't want to say anything that will make you feel bad. I must say though that if you continue to stop progress with him, he might think something is wrong him him, and he might get frustrated and stop trying. I've been there before myself. I was sort of hooking up with a girl who didn't like her body, and she was too embarrassed to show me it. After being rejected about 5 times, I just got frustrated and assumed it just wasn't going to happen. Ladies listen up... WE GUYS DON'T CARE IF YOUR BOOBS ARE A LITTLE SAGGY, IF YOU HAVE STRETCH MARKS, OR A SCAR, OR ANY OF THAT. WE ALREADY HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT YOUR BODY LOOKS LIKE JUST BY SEEING YOU CLOTHED AND THEN IMAGINING WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE NAKED. IF WE ARE DATING YOU, KISSING ON YOU AND TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, THEN IT MEANS WE HAVE ALREADY APPROVED OF YOU. STOP BEING YOUR OWN PERSONAL COCK-BLOCKER. I think you that the next time you are with him, and things are getting intimate, just tell him: (*Whisper voice*)"Hey... I just want to let you know that I kind of don't like my breasts, and I've been embarrassed to show you". This will give him the message that there is nothing wrong with him, justifies why you've stopped the progress in the past, and will let him know that you are ready to get naked with him. He will most likely smirk and say something back like "I'm sure your chest is absolutely fine". He is telling the truth, and when he says this... he is really saying "Let me see you naked now please and lets screw". Have fun. I totally agree!! Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 That X of yours is an insensitive Jerk! Don't let an azzwipe define you. Self acceptance is key in this life. If you reject yourself you're giving people the okay to reject you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 Ella, you're letting ONE GUY determine in your mind if you have a "flaw". My GF's ex-husband got on her to get a boob job and such, and she would even show me insecurity, thinking that she wasn't pretty enough because of things he's said when they were married. Now she's not worried, because he was being unrealistic and she realizes it. Sleep with your new man...if he says it too then you might think about it. For all you know he'll not have any issues and thus you see it's just one guy's opinion. I don't know if he'll say something or not, but he's going to be disappointed anyway, because it's not just about my ex's opinion, my breasts really do sag a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
betamanlet Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I don't know if he'll say something or not, but he's going to be disappointed anyway, because it's not just about my ex's opinion, my breasts really do sag a lot. So? And my penis isn't the size of what is in porn. You're not perfect, neither is anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
someotherguy Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I don't know if he'll say something or not, but he's going to be disappointed anyway, because it's not just about my ex's opinion, my breasts really do sag a lot. Here's a compromise: get him naked, but keep your bra and panties on as you get him excited, then mount him while still in your undergarments (just move the panties aside a bit). This works best if you're wearing thong-style panties. Gradually get accustomed to being in various states of undress around him, I promise he will accept you the way you are and compliment you, which will reinforce your wanting to be naked with him. A previous poster was on the mark with just telling him you feel a bit self conscious about your breasts, that will set him at ease, as he's probably starting to feel like it's his fault you two haven't gotten intimate. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Fact of Life: if you have big breasts, they're going to sag. Unless you were gentically predisposed to having size A cups, then that's a completely different story. Don't let a dickhole of an ex dictate your life. You should be proud that you're a sexy creature that men adore and are drawn to. Otherwise, why would this new guy want to have sex with you? He obviously find you sexy and attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) I don't know if he'll say something or not, but he's going to be disappointed anyway, because it's not just about my ex's opinion, my breasts really do sag a lot. Who cares? This is you how you are. if youre not going to get a lift, then he doesnt have a choice but to deal with them. If he doesnt say anything, then he doesnt have a problem. If he does, then you next him. If you cant handle the possiblity that he might not like you as you are, then you next him NOW. Theres nothing to over-analyze here. If you thought he liked women with long blonde hair, but yours is black and shoulder length, would you bleach out and get extensions? If not, then it doesnt matter what he thinks. And if you like your hair black and shoulder length, you shouldnt want to change for him anyways. Edited December 17, 2009 by boogieboy Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 (edited) He obviously find you sexy and attractive. I know, but that's with clothes on! Edited December 17, 2009 by ella23 Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I know, but that's with clothes on! Breasts are sexy, saggy or no. Your ex was a blind fool. Link to post Share on other sites
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