Goatsbreath Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 the girl I like had a kid really young and her stomach never returned to normal, its got stretch marks and is sort of lose and she's only 21. I don't care though. I think you will find most guys don't care. For me the imperfections are what make you ...you and I like you more for them. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 with sagging boobs at 20, you will find that many men will be disappointed. since you refuse to get a lift done, you have to learn to deal with this. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 with sagging boobs at 20, you will find that many men will be disappointed. since you refuse to get a lift done, you have to learn to deal with this. *gasp* YOU'RE the only shallow dude in this thread. Looks to me like the MAJORITY has spoken in this thread as far as men are concerned. Just because you're shallow does not mean all men are. Way to support body dysmorphia! Woo! You should be so proud of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
InspiredbyYou Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 The absolute worse thing you can do before you have sex with a guy is point out your own flaw or insecurity. NEVER ever do that. That would totally kill the buzz. Chances are whatever it is that you see wrong with you he will notice but won't think it is nearly as bad as you see it. At times you may even find something wrong with you that a guy wouldn't even care about or notice. I hear you that being dumped for your breasts is a hard pill to swallow and it has clearly done a number on your self-esteem. I seriously doubt your ex dumped you over you breasts, he was more than likely a prick who realized that playing on your insecurity was a quick and easy way out. When you are ready to be intimate with the new guy just enjoy the moment forget about our breasts and enjoy his body and let him enjoy yours. If he is turned off by something you will know, and there is nothing you can do about it, everyone runs that risk and it is not exclusive to sex and our bodies. People can get turned off about any aspect of ourselves. He will not want to see you again if this happens. But I SERIOUSLY doubt that will happen as I am sure you breasts are just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 How does anyone know what her breasts actually look like? What if they are so horrific, that it would be beneficial to have the surgery. If anything, if she isn't going to get past it and gain self esteem, that could be the only option. How can you ever have a decent relationship with a guy if you feel that poorly about your body. I do not think it should be done just because a guy didn't like her breasts, but if it would help her in general, it might be a good idea. Actually, any guy that would dump her just because of her breasts, is not worth the time. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 *gasp* YOU'RE the only shallow dude in this thread. Looks to me like the MAJORITY has spoken in this thread as far as men are concerned. Just because you're shallow does not mean all men are. Way to support body dysmorphia! Woo! You should be so proud of yourself. i'm not promoting anything , just saying that she should be prepared for a negative reaction. Obviously most guys who don't like it won't say so, because of the reactions from other posters. Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 with sagging boobs at 20, you will find that many men will be disappointed. since you refuse to get a lift done, you have to learn to deal with this. What level of sag are we talking here OP? Could you give us more detail here? Where do your nipples point? Do your breasts look like pears when they are unsupported (thats normal to a degree)? Is it possible this ex knew you had a little insecurity about this and used it to further push your buttons making you perceive a sag that isn't really that pronounced? What are you using for comparison? Hopefully real women and not porn imagery. I just find it hard to believe that 7-8 y.o. breasts (am assuming they started to pop at 12-13) are all that saggy if you have worn a bra. What size are your breasts anyway? *gasp* YOU'RE the only shallow dude in this thread. Looks to me like the MAJORITY has spoken in this thread as far as men are concerned. Just because you're shallow does not mean all men are. Way to support body dysmorphia! Woo! You should be so proud of yourself. You need a nice hot cup of "lighten up." The guy was just being honest, and he's right. Lots of men in that age group will be some disappointed with a extremely saggy breasts, but just -some-, doesn't mean james himself is shallow, and sugarcoating for OP isn't going to help her get past this one iota. I have a hunch, though, that OP's breasts aren't really all that saggy. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Did you feel insecure about your breast before your ex came into your life or have you only been feeling insecure since he's asked you to get a lift done? Have you talked to your best friends about this? Perhaps they could help you get a better grasp on how you really look (I doubt it's as bad as you think). Please do not post pictures of your breasts here - the last thing you need is a bunch of internet strangers scrutinizing them. About your guy - while I agree with Inspiredbyyou that you usually don't want to start a lovemaking session with a list of insecurities, I feel that in this case it might be warranted. May I suggest you just tell him you are insecure about your breast because, in your opinion, they are too saggy. And... Well, last but important note: if your breast sag, it likely means that you've been blessed with big breasts. I love my small chest, but I do envy women with bigger ones. and listen to the guys here! The vast majority have told you they wouldn't care. Something like nine out like ten guys have gone out of their way to reassure you that 1) the guy is likely already into you so 2) he won't care or 3) will even like your breasts. And then there's that other guy who posted a negative comment. so your ex would, by this very unprofessional survey, be representative of less then 10% of the male population. So... What are the chances you'll date two superficial guys in a row? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 We need a pic to determine if it's actually an issue Considering how insecure she already is about this, I don't see how having internet strangers scrutinize her breasts will help. I think she should ask her friends. Or that guy she's dating . Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Photos for comparisons are needed in this thread badly. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 The trouble here is that your last BF was an utter douchebag whose cruel behavior has traumatized you. Do you see how idiotic it is to dump somebody over something as trivial as sagging breasts? Now you are so afraid this new guy will end up dumping you for the same stupid reason, you are seriously considering dumping him pre-emptively to avoid being hurt again. Anyone who would dump you for something like that is an idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Considering how insecure she already is about this, I don't see how having internet strangers scrutinize her breasts will help. I think she should ask her friends. Or that guy she's dating . Yes, but maybe she could find another pic online similar to hers, so people could get a better idea of the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 when i gained weight, my breasts became big, but when i lost weight, they didn't become smaller, but started sagging. my friends pointed that out, too. Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Well fast weight loss especially if it's mostly dieting and little exercise could do this. Consider a weight maintenance plan with more calories and more exercise as opposed to just not eating. Maybe get some dumbbells and do some arm and upper torso exercises, toning those muscles can have a real effect on breast support, and your body image generally. At your age your body is like playdoh and so easily molded and remolded, you could do a consistent 3-5 day a week upper body dumbbell routine for 20 minutes and see visible results very fast. Try to avoid crash diets in the future, if the weight loss is from some other reason, I apologize for the assumption it was from a diet. Link to post Share on other sites
Curious-One Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 If a girl had a great personality and i liked her it would be rally hard for me to dump her because she had soggy breasts. Actually come to think of it i perfer girls that have slightly soggy breasts as i love to see them bounce. Perky breasts dont bounce neither do fake ones so yah. Also i am much more interested in the butt... i am not much into boobies anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
aaron12 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 it's very rare to have saggy boobs at 20, which might put him off. give it a try though. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 it's very rare to have saggy boobs at 20, which might put him off. give it a try though. Not really, not if they are large. There are far more important things for a guy to worry about I'm sure. In fact if something like this mattered that much to a guy he would break up with me I wouldn't be attracted to him, simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Also wanted to mention that if you have had a recent relatively fast significant weight loss, your skin may not have elasticized back yet, giving the perception of a sag that isn't really a sag. This could clear itself up on its own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) Also wanted to mention that if you have had a recent relatively fast significant weight loss, your skin may not have elasticized back yet, giving the perception of a sag that isn't really a sag. This could clear itself up on its own. I lost the weight through diet and exercise a very long time back. I've tried exercises and creams, nothing worked. btw, he came back from a 2 day trip, and we'll probably meet soon. I hope he doesn't try to sleep with me, it's going to be really weird backing off again. Edited December 18, 2009 by ella23 Link to post Share on other sites
dnm Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Sagging boobs at 20 is nowhere as uncommon as some people would like to believe. I can understand that you don't want to undergo surgery, there are several women who wouldn't want to go under the knife no matter how bad their boobs look. It is really difficult to predict how this guy will react, but I don't think you should break up with him in order to avoid being hurt. However, if you think rejection will totally destroy your self-confidence then do break up and be single for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Alright, Ella - find us a pair that look like yours: http://www.makemeheal.com/pictures/breast-lift-mastopexy (Warning: these are breast pics. Most of the nipples are blacked out, but if you're going to click on the link, don't blame me for the content if you get offended easily.) It's a plastic surgery website where people post before/afters of breast lifts. But at least going about it this way, they're not YOURS being scrutinized. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 (edited) Why are we trying to find out how much they sag anyway? If you scrutinize breasts that aren't hers but like hers, it will still affect her self esteem. Edited December 18, 2009 by dnm Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 She's saying they are soooooooooooooooo bad when they might really not be THAT bad. I can pick things about my body that I don't like, but I'm not necessarily a freak of nature because of those things. Meaning: they're not THAT BAD. LOL But you may have a point - when somebody has body dysmorphia about something on their body, no amount of convincing is going to help. I think counseling may be the only thing that gets her past this. Link to post Share on other sites
aaron12 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 In any case, she's asking what she should do regarding this guy, not asking for opinions on how saggy her boobs are. Link to post Share on other sites
curtissleejoneslll Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Dear Ella..............If your EX would of looked at your heart and not stoped at your breats he might of found the real love of a life time ! P.S Don't put a pic of your breasts online for all the world to see. let them be a gold mine for one LUCKY man. Link to post Share on other sites
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