dnm Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 there have been all kinds of responses, many said that although sagging is unattractive, they'd stay with the girl. Link to post Share on other sites
v g Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Shylo, thanks for posting that link to that website. Those are real breasts. Clearly a different ball game then what men are use to seeing in porn. But the truth is, men don't really want to see real breasts in all their various sizes and differences. The reason we see what we see in certain male dominated mediums is because that 's clearly waht men want. I think it's sad how many men don't even know what real breasts should be and instead hold out hopes for fake fantasy breasts or silcone ones. It's like men no longer can be happy witn a real woman's body. ALot of the guys are still picking on the OP saying how sorry they feel for her guy or saying "oh well yeah your breasts might suck"..etc etc..very few guys have tried to understand her position. Of course that's not goign to make her want to open up to her boyfriend, it's going to make her even more nervous to talk to him about the issue from many of the critical male opinions here about women's bodies. Off topic, but what it's a little odd IMO that in any topic you contribute to you always manage to make it about porn and media and how men want perfection. In my experience only inexperienced men want perfection, and luckily that's the minority. Back on topic, my sister has huge, saggy breasts, and one is significantly bigger than the other. They are bigger and more saggy than any breasts shown in that link. Men she has been involved with love her breasts. My friend is flat as a man. Again, men she has been involved with love her breasts. Most of these male posters have been supportive of ella23 but are also being frank about her attitude being a turn-off. I also feel sorry for her guy. He's paying for the ex's horrible behavior. That's not right. How bout instead of man hating you help out Ella by letting her know how she can love her body? Thats where the problem is. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 And while a man might be accepting of an imperfection, it stands to reason that he will seek out other visual aids of perfect looking women to excite himself with. The message gets a little lost and confused. That's great that men don't expect perfection, but on some level, men continue to seek it out in male dominated media forms that cater to a type of women men want and desire. So I think it's not really fair that men get frustrated at us for being insecure and telling us we don't need to look perfect when that's exactly the kind of woman men model themselves to look and give attention to. And while women might poke fun at male looks, the truth is men are not held to the same standard of attractiveness that women are. Show me one comment in that post that was man hating Boogie. Many of your posts seem to go after men in general. There are some really bad men out there, but you can't lump the rest of us in with them. Also, you imply the media favors males. Other posters claim it favors females. Maybe, just maybe, it treats both sexes about the same. I don't want the OP to get hurt, but I also don't want to see her boyfriend get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Back on topic, my sister has huge, saggy breasts, and one is significantly bigger than the other. They are bigger and more saggy than any breasts shown in that link. Men she has been involved with love her breasts. My friend is flat as a man. Again, men she has been involved with love her breasts. Most of these male posters have been supportive of ella23 but are also being frank about her attitude being a turn-off. I also feel sorry for her guy. He's paying for the ex's horrible behavior. That's not right. I agree. As I man, I'd be happy with any breasts and coulndn't imagine dumping a woman over breasts. I do insist on a nice face though. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm just trying to be realistic here. She should love her body but there is no point in telling her fake ideas about how men feel about women's bodies. We get it, you hate men. You can also be realistic by sharing with her how you appreciate your own body. You often claim about how your body isnt perfect, and you OWN it. Youre secure with yourself, and all the guys have to love you as you are. How about showing her how to own and love her body the way it is, and how to not worry about what anyone else thinks of it? Show her how you do it mentally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 Off topic, but what it's a little odd IMO that in any topic you contribute to you always manage to make it about porn and media and how men want perfection. In my experience only inexperienced men want perfection, and luckily that's the minority. Judging by the responses from my previous thread,which was deleted for some reason later on, it's not just inexperienced men. my ex was not inexperienced either. I also feel sorry for her guy. He's paying for the ex's horrible behavior. That's not right. what's with everyone feeling sorry for him? I haven't done anything bad to him. ---------- Met him again yesterday, wanted to break up again, decided to wait again. He did ask why I was distant these days and if there was something wrong. He also sort of hinted that he loved me, though maybe I was just imagining it lol. Things are going the same way as they did with my ex early on, which is freaky. Link to post Share on other sites
v g Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Judging by the responses from my previous thread,which was deleted for some reason later on, it's not just inexperienced men. my ex was not inexperienced either. That just confirms that your ex is an *******. what's with everyone feeling sorry for him? I haven't done anything bad to him. Is he confused? Are you planning on dumping him even though you both are into each other and even though he hasn't done anything wrong? IMO you are not being completely honest with him, and this is impacting him and not in a good way. Met him again yesterday, wanted to break up again, decided to wait again. He did ask why I was distant these days and if there was something wrong. He also sort of hinted that he loved me, though maybe I was just imagining it lol. Things are going the same way as they did with my ex early on, which is freaky. I used to be incredibly negative. Then one day I decided I was no longer going to be negative and was no longer going to listen to those negative messages than ran rampant through my head, that I would be supportive and good to myself no matter what, that I would learn from my experiences. So when something negative happens to me, instead of thinking that it figures this would happen to me, I think, hmm, how can I learn from this so that it doesn't happen again? Ella23, please think about how you want to handle this differently, especially as things are going the same way as they did with your ex early on. And I don't mean by dumping your bf. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Judging by the responses from my previous thread,which was deleted for some reason later on, it's not just inexperienced men. my ex was not inexperienced either. what's with everyone feeling sorry for him? I haven't done anything bad to him. ---------- Met him again yesterday, wanted to break up again, decided to wait again. He did ask why I was distant these days and if there was something wrong. He also sort of hinted that he loved me, though maybe I was just imagining it lol. Things are going the same way as they did with my ex early on, which is freaky. What about the rest of us who say it's not a big deal? You seem fixated on the men who make a big deal over this. I read the last thread and this one and I really think there are more who will like you just the way you are. You have got to get your ex out of your mind and stop comparing the two. It is NOT fair to your current boyfriend. We do feel sorry for him because as far as we can tell he thinks this is a great relationship and you keep talking about breaking up. You are going to have to take some risks sooner or later and I can assure you most of the people on here at least will be very proud when you do start taking them. The WORST that can happen (which I think is unlikely) is your current boyfreind will be like your ex. If you are that unlucky, guess what? On to the next and the next until you find the man of your dreams. If you don't take risks, then you will be stuck where you are now indefinitely. Link to post Share on other sites
against_all_odds Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 i have big boobs naturally so they do sag slightly but my bf isnt really a boob man but he loves em... my boy is far from perfect but i cant change it so just do this best with what youve got...have you tried wearing something sexy and if you have the lights down low you might not feel as insecure.your ex seems a bit of a t**t if he dumps you because of something like that then hes quite shallow...im sure he will never be happy with anyone because unfortunatley we all grow old and stuff so hes going to be vey lonely if he carries on like that...theres more to you than just your boobs and im sure he wont totally be focusing on your boobs anyway dont let something your ex did ruin this relationship...your suposed to be enjoying it when it comes to sex im sure you will find that you didnt know what you was worrying about in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Met him again yesterday, wanted to break up again, decided to wait again. He did ask why I was distant these days and if there was something wrong. He also sort of hinted that he loved me, though maybe I was just imagining it lol. Things are going the same way as they did with my ex early on, which is freaky. It cant be freaky because this is you doing this. Youre being distant with the guy and he notices. If thisngs are going the same way that they did with the ex, then you can get things on the right path at any time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 (edited) maybe I shouldn't compare him to my ex, but all of you are saying that he'll be/is very hurt, which is not true. moose, there were many guys on that thread who said it was a huge turnoff. also mine aren't just slightly saggy. Edited December 25, 2009 by ella23 Link to post Share on other sites
TheBritishGuy Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 ella what do you care what other people think? You seem like a very nice girl if this guy dumps you because he doesn't like your breasts that won't be a bad thing it'll be a good thing because then you will know he is shallow and not worth your time. Stop looking at yourself and thinking you have physical defects. If the men you are dating are so mentally obtuse they can't take you for what you are when you offer so much then why bother worrying about their reactions? I'll admit I have no idea of the extent of the problem but would you refuse to have sex with a guy because he had some small defect somewhere? Don't put all guys in the same boat it wouldn't bother me one bit and I've been around the docks a lot and seen a few ships. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 I'm with jersey shortie on this one. the very fact that sagging is considered a flaw, when a lot of women have naturally drooping breasts, shows that men don't know much about women's bodies. As for the other thread, yep, there were several guys who called sagging breasts gross and a lot of other rude stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
christian6 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 I'm with jersey shortie on this one. the very fact that sagging is considered a flaw, when a lot of women have naturally drooping breasts, shows that men don't know much about women's bodies. As for the other thread, yep, there were several guys who called sagging breasts gross and a lot of other rude stuff. What's wrong with expressing their preferences? It's better that people be frank than tell her something just to make her feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 It cant be freaky because this is you doing this. Youre being distant with the guy and he notices. If thisngs are going the same way that they did with the ex, then you can get things on the right path at any time. It's more up to him than me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zeegagge Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 I would love to get my hands on a nice pair right now. Not to sound dirty or vulgar but my ex had some saggy ones and I really miss them, as I do most everything about her. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 It's more up to him than me. if you continue being distant, he can't really do much. people feel sorry for him because he seems to be a nice guy from what you have written. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 maybe I shouldn't compare him to my ex, but all of you are saying that he'll be/is very hurt, which is not true. moose, there were many guys on that thread who said it was a huge turnoff. also mine aren't just slightly saggy. How would you know that? When people get broken up with, they usually feel hurt. When there is no explanation or a confusing explanation, it can be far worse. There were also many guys who said the breasts are not an issue. Many women have breasts like yours. You need to start thing positively. Get rid of those negative thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 It's more up to him than me. A relationship is up to both people. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 If you can't see yourself taking the relationship forward, then I have to say, perhaps you should end it. On one hand you say that you really like him and want to be with him, on the other you keep distancing yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 It's more up to him than me. No its not, because youre going to break up with him before he even gets a chance to choose. You made it be up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Are you really serious about ending it without even letting him know what's up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 26, 2009 Author Share Posted December 26, 2009 Are you really serious about ending it without even letting him know what's up? well, I'm considering it. Yeah I know it's mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted December 26, 2009 Author Share Posted December 26, 2009 and anyway, when so many men are nasty about women's bodies(I know many people who were dumped for the smallest of issues, forget saggy boobs), then why do I have to be all nice? Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 (edited) and anyway, when so many men are nasty about women's bodies(I know many people who were dumped for the smallest of issues, forget saggy boobs), then why do I have to be all nice? Because your boyfriend has not made any of these nasty comments. My opinion would be totally different if he had. It is very unfair to be mean to one man becuase of the actions of other men. Let's turn it around. Suppose I had a girlfriend who was very nice at first and then became nasty before dumping me. Suppose a few months later I find a new woman and things are going very well. Should I just assume that she will be like the first and preemptively dump her? That would be crazy. Just becuase some people are nasty doesn't mean you should be. Do you want to lower yourself to their level? Edited December 26, 2009 by thegreatmoose Link to post Share on other sites
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