too embarrassed to sleep with him

[sugar_and_spice]

Your counselor is right about you making this a bigger deal than it is and that you ought to open up to your bf more. He has been accepting and understanding. How are you going to keep the relationship going if you try to keep a distance? The counseling will help you get better, but it will take time.

[BettyBoop]

my breasts really do sag a lot.

 

Ella, I'm around your age and I have the same problem according to myself. But you know what? None of the guys I have ever been with have said anything BUT that they LOVED my body and thought my breasts were amazing! So please, I know it is difficult because I am very insecure about my breasts too - but believe that a guy who likes and loves you will love your breasts too! I rather have my soft and natural ones than perky and fake ones!!!

[BettyBoop]

BTW I saw my ex after a long time yesterday (didn't talk), and I was reminded of some of the things that he said to me, e.g. no guy would ever want to be with me and that I was going to be single forever if I didn't 'fix' the problem.

 

Aw that's nothing, hon. My ex told me 1 year after we broke up that nobody would ever love me and that I shouldn't believe that anyone ever would.

 

By that time I had already met my current boyfriend who loves and adores me. So nyah! Seriously, don't let the stupid exes make you feel like you are worth less than you are!

[ella23]

Your counselor is right about you making this a bigger deal than it is and that you ought to open up to your bf more. He has been accepting and understanding. How are you going to keep the relationship going if you try to keep a distance? The counseling will help you get better, but it will take time.

Yeah, I know my relationship won't work if I don't put this behind me and open up to him. I am trying. All this can't happen that fast. I agree that he's been wonderful about everything.

Yeah, I'm going to continue with the counselling, like I said. I know that I'll have to wait for a while before it has significant results.

 

 

Ella, I'm around your age and I have the same problem according to myself. But you know what? None of the guys I have ever been with have said anything BUT that they LOVED my body and thought my breasts were amazing! So please, I know it is difficult because I am very insecure about my breasts too - but believe that a guy who likes and loves you will love your breasts too! I rather have my soft and natural ones than perky and fake ones!!!

It's great that you've never had to face what I did with my ex boyfriend. Maybe that's because yours aren't that saggy, or maybe you've just dated nicer guys.

I was thinking of a slight reduction with lift but for now I can't make time for it and I'm scared so it's not an option in the near future lol.

Aw that's nothing, hon. My ex told me 1 year after we broke up that nobody would ever love me and that I shouldn't believe that anyone ever would.

 

By that time I had already met my current boyfriend who loves and adores me. So nyah! Seriously, don't let the stupid exes make you feel like you are worth less than you are!

 

Yeah, my ex boyfriend used to say that my body (breasts) were too ugly and no guy would ever be attracted to me once he saw my body.

He almost tried to make it sound like it was my fault that my body wasn't as good as he'd expected.

[BettyBoop]

Ella,

 

there is a porn actress who has "sagging breasts" and she was young and beautiful the last I saw of her. Her name is Cody Lane. I know of her because one of my exes fancied her and had pictures of her on the computer...-_-'

 

However, that is what mine basically look like and if she can make it hot then so can I. And if yours are about that size - so can you!

 

..so can't believe I have to refer to a porn star to try to make a point. :S

[sugar_and_spice]

Yep, and your bf compliments you, you should believe him. Your ex has ruined your self image.

[ella23]

Yep, and your bf compliments you, you should believe him. Your ex has ruined your self image.

Yeah, I try to, though it's kind of hard to.

As for my self image, well, that's exactly why I'm taking counselling.

And the counselling is going well so far.

 

Ella,

 

there is a porn actress who has "sagging breasts" and she was young and beautiful the last I saw of her. Her name is Cody Lane. I know of her because one of my exes fancied her and had pictures of her on the computer...-_-'

 

However, that is what mine basically look like and if she can make it hot then so can I. And if yours are about that size - so can you!

 

..so can't believe I have to refer to a porn star to try to make a point. :S

lol

I googled her, her's seemed perky in most pics except a couple.

Edited February 1, 2010 by ella23

[Phateless]

Yeah, I try to, though it's kind of hard to.

As for my self image, well, that's exactly why I'm taking counselling.

And the counselling is going well so far.

 

 

lol

I googled her, her's seemed perky in most pics except a couple.

 

I googled her real quick just now and all the pics I saw she was wearing push-up bras. That doesn't count.

 

Find a topless pic if you're going to compare.

[sugar_and_spice]

Yeah, I know my relationship won't work if I don't put this behind me and open up to him. I am trying. All this can't happen that fast. I agree that he's been wonderful about everything.

Yeah, I'm going to continue with the counselling, like I said. I know that I'll have to wait for a while before it has significant results.

 

 

 

It's great that you've never had to face what I did with my ex boyfriend. Maybe that's because yours aren't that saggy, or maybe you've just dated nicer guys.

I was thinking of a slight reduction with lift but for now I can't make time for it and I'm scared so it's not an option in the near future lol.

 

 

Yeah, my ex boyfriend used to say that my body (breasts) were too ugly and no guy would ever be attracted to me once he saw my body.

He almost tried to make it sound like it was my fault that my body wasn't as good as he'd expected.

 

youre not over your ex bf in some ways, you are giving too much importance to what he said. Did you talk about this to your counselor?

[Itzo]

Yep, and your bf compliments you, you should believe him. Your ex has ruined your self image.

 

I agree with this, your self-image is in the base of your identity or the person you think you are right now.

 

We all get pieces from different behaviors, feedbacks, associations in our past memories that were from a significance for us to include them into our self-image. The person who we think we are, it is a CONCEPT, borrowed from another places.

[ella23]

Ella,

 

there is a porn actress who has "sagging breasts" and she was young and beautiful the last I saw of her. Her name is Cody Lane. I know of her because one of my exes fancied her and had pictures of her on the computer...-_-'

 

However, that is what mine basically look like and if she can make it hot then so can I. And if yours are about that size - so can you!

 

..so can't believe I have to refer to a porn star to try to make a point. :S

btw, Betty, do your breasts flatten and spread towards the armpits when you lie down?

I find it so embarrassing lol.

Edited February 3, 2010 by ella23

[Itzo]

btw, Betty, do your breasts flatten and spread towards the armpits when you lie down?

I find it so embarrassing lol.

 

this is exclusive and unique ... I can't get breasts like that to play with anywhere else. So ... look at it that way

[ella23]

this is exclusive and unique ... I can't get breasts like that to play with anywhere else. So ... look at it that way

I've heard that's common for big, sagging breasts.

It isn't unique lol.

Edited February 3, 2010 by ella23

[Itzo]

I've heard that's common for big, sagging breasts.

It isn't unique lol.

 

It was unique to me

So what is unique for you, may not be unique to others. So you do not know ...

 

You do not know what I know

[ella23]

Unique to you?

I meant that it's a problem that I've heard other women with sagging breasts also have (i.e. the flattening of breasts and spreading towards the sides on lying down).

I was wondering if she(Betty) did.

Find a topless pic if you're going to compare.

I was talking about the topless pics.

Edited February 3, 2010 by ella23

[paddington bear]

Mine flatten out and fall under my arms when I lie down, have never had any complaints.

 

Once me and 2 friends were staying together in a hotel room, 2 of us noticed that the other one had gravity-defying breasts, she lay down and they pointed upwards like torpedos! I'm mentioning this, because we were all in our 20's and the torpedo girl was the exception to the rule, not the rule.

 

Breasts are made up of just fat and glands, hence if they are larger, they are going to fall where they will.

 

Beware the breast reduction operation - maybe try to watch a documentary on it. I think the very fact that they've to cut your nipples off and then cut a hole in your skin and sew the nipple back on, just makes me feel sick. I had insecurities like you when I was younger, and had thought...if I had the money...maybe..but then I saw how the op is done and no way. And since you were unlucky enough to have one very insensitive guy put you down it seems too much of an over-reaction to have such an intimate part of your body butchered to such a degree.

[ella23]

Mine flatten out and fall under my arms when I lie down, have never had any complaints.

 

Once me and 2 friends were staying together in a hotel room, 2 of us noticed that the other one had gravity-defying breasts, she lay down and they pointed upwards like torpedos! I'm mentioning this, because we were all in our 20's and the torpedo girl was the exception to the rule, not the rule.

 

Breasts are made up of just fat and glands, hence if they are larger, they are going to fall where they will.

 

Beware the breast reduction operation - maybe try to watch a documentary on it. I think the very fact that they've to cut your nipples off and then cut a hole in your skin and sew the nipple back on, just makes me feel sick. I had insecurities like you when I was younger, and had thought...if I had the money...maybe..but then I saw how the op is done and no way. And since you were unlucky enough to have one very insensitive guy put you down it seems too much of an over-reaction to have such an intimate part of your body butchered to such a degree.

I'm not considering the lift and reduction because of what he said. I would have got it done while I was with him if that was the case.

It's because I don't feel good about myself, and I'd probably feel happier getting that done.

I'm only thinking about it, not sure if I'll get it done. The reduction because they're likely to remain perky for longer that way.

There's this procedure where liposuction can be used for a slight reduction (and I'd only need a slight reduction as I'm not that large) followed by a lift.

But the thought of surgery still makes me uncomfortable and I won't get it done unless I'm fully comfortable with it.

Edited February 3, 2010 by ella23

[ella23]

youre not over your ex bf in some ways, you are giving too much importance to what he said. Did you talk about this to your counselor?

I am over him, but taking a while to get over what he said. But I'm a little better because my current boyfriend hasn't complained, at least not yet.

[isitmeorhim]

Confidence is key!!!!! Learn that.Dont let a man know ur weakness..He will feed off of it,,Unless of course,he truly cares for u.

Move on anyone tht breaks up with someone over something like tht is not worth YOUR time sweetheart!!

[sugar_and_spice]

I am over him, but taking a while to get over what he said. But I'm a little better because my current boyfriend hasn't complained, at least not yet.

 

unless he gives you reason to be upset, why let these negative thoughts affect you?

[ella23]

I know it's a good thing that he has not complained yet, I'm happy about that. That doesn't mean that he won't in the future or won't move on to someone better.

Things are going okay. I'm keeping a distance as I feel that is what is best for me. It hasn't caused problems, so I'm not worried too much about the lack of emotional involvement on my part.

Counselling is slowly helping me in accepting myself. I'm wondering how long I should continue.

[sugar_and_spice]

I know it's a good thing that he has not complained yet, I'm happy about that. That doesn't mean that he won't in the future or won't move on to someone better.

Things are going okay. I'm keeping a distance as I feel that is what is best for me. It hasn't caused problems, so I'm not worried too much about the lack of emotional involvement on my part.

Counselling is slowly helping me in accepting myself. I'm wondering how long I should continue.

 

do you really believe you can behave this way in the long term?

as for counseling, continue till you need it.

[ella23]

do you really believe you can behave this way in the long term?

as for counseling, continue till you need it.

I don't see how he won't want to move on, he is more likely to than not.

It's better to save myself from the hurt, and therefore better to keep a distance.

I was wondering about the counselling thing because it can only change my self image, not what others think. Is it really worth continuing for long?

She is also helping out with other issues, maybe I should continue for that.

Edited February 6, 2010 by ella23

[dreamergrl]

I don't see how he won't want to move on, he is more likely to than not.

It's better to save myself from the hurt, and therefore better to keep a distance.

I was wondering about the counselling thing because it can only change my self image, not what others think. Is it really worth continuing for long?

 

What you need to learn from the counseling is that the self image you have of yourself is what is important. The whole world isn't going to have the same view of you. But if you continue to look down on yourself, you can expect others to do the same.

[sugar_and_spice]

I don't see how he won't want to move on, he is more likely to than not.

It's better to save myself from the hurt, and therefore better to keep a distance.

I was wondering about the counselling thing because it can only change my self image, not what others think. Is it really worth continuing for long?

She is also helping out with other issues, maybe I should continue for that.

 

if you find her advice useful, then stick with counseling. but you need to focus on your insecurities more than other things.

i think you're doing the wrong thing by keeping a distance. it will harm your relationship. seriously .