SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 I agree that it would bother most men. But I don't think the majority would dump a woman over it. Oh it will be a HUGE minus and will forever errode the attraction. The guy will start thinking he can do better. Suddenly, all the little things, the arguments etc will annoy him more than usual. He will convince himself that there are other issues with the relationship (as to rationalize not being a jerk and dumping someone over boobs). I am not suggesting that a guy will see the boobs and say "That's it, you are dumped". But things will start going in that direction, and fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 What's the point? Might as well stay single than be insulted like that. No, I don't want surgery, and it's not just about the breastfeeding issue that some people mentioned. And like I said, he's very popular with women. He can do a lot better. Anyway, I called him and told him it's over. He was furious again, but I told him he could do better and then said I didn't want to talk about it and put the phone down. He's trying to call back right now but I have nothing to say or explain. Link to post Share on other sites
thirdgirl Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 I think you've done the right thing. I know it's hard but life isn't always fair. What SadandConfused said is very true unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 What's the point? Might as well stay single than be insulted like that. No, I don't want surgery, and it's not just about the breastfeeding issue that some people mentioned. And like I said, he's very popular with women. He can do a lot better. Anyway, I called him and told him it's over. He was furious again, but I told him he could do better and then said I didn't want to talk about it and put the phone down. He's trying to call back right now but I have nothing to say or explain. So if you don't want surgery do you plan to stay single for the rest of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 I know that is what some of my friends have been telling me too. I should have just listened to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 So if you don't want surgery do you plan to stay single for the rest of your life? Looks like it. I know I'll be fine on my own. Why should I get surgery done and take the risks because people so much emphasis on looks? I know you're planning to get surgery, but it's not something I want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Ella, you shouldn't have dumped him. I honestly don't believe it's such a big issue for all guys. If possible, answer his calls, tell him the whole truth, and clear the air. Link to post Share on other sites
ordinary_girl Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Looks like it. I know I'll be fine on my own. Why should I get surgery done and take the risks because people so much emphasis on looks? I know you're planning to get surgery, but it's not something I want to do. it really doesn't look like you will be fine on your own. people who are fine with what they have don't dedicate 40 pages to it on LS Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 There is no point, dnm. What they said was always at the back of my mind. I knew it was true. I was just getting hopeful because I really liked, and still like, him. Just got a text from him saying, "wtf is this? You HAVE to tell me what's going on." Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 I'll be fine ordinary_girl. I won't have to worry about my body all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
ordinary_girl Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 so you would rather have your private life splashed over on LS than actually find a solution and deal with the issue???? you are f****ing him over in the process too. honestly I think if you didn't have saggy boobs, you would find something else to moan about. take responsibility for your life woman, grow up Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Realistically, her other option is to go for men who have hard time getting dates and are not very popular with women. They will be more accepting. Ella, you shouldn't get surgery if you are uncomfortable with it. But staying single for the rest of your life is going to suck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 Well, I'm sorry that I'm coming across like this. I'm saying everything I feel over here, I don't behave like this in front of him or in general. I know I'm coming across as a psycho here, but that's only because I keep hearing how ugly it is to have saggy boobs. The only real solution is surgery, and I don't want that. No, I'd rather be alone, sadandconfused. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 There is no point, dnm. What they said was always at the back of my mind. I knew it was true. I was just getting hopeful because I really liked, and still like, him. Just got a text from him saying, "wtf is this? You HAVE to tell me what's going on." Text him back: "I am worried because I have saggy boobs". Really, you have absolutely nothing to lose now so get straight to the point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 I texted back saying "It's kind of obvious that I'm messed up emotionally. " He replied, "Yeah, so tell me what's going on. I kept asking the other day and you didn't tell me. You have to now." Yeah, I know I'm going to be attacked by everyone again, and you're all probably thinking he's better off without me, which is true, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 I texted back saying "It's kind of obvious that I'm messed up emotionally. " He replied, "Yeah, so tell me what's going on. I kept asking the other day and you didn't tell me. You have to now." Tell him right now ella, before you chicken out. Otheriwse you have already lost him. Will it really matter who dumped who 5 years from now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 BTW on the phone I hadn't acted like a moron and said it and cut the phone. I just said that it wasn't the right time for me to be with someone. Come on sadandconfused, do you honestly believe he'll stay with me once he finds out. I'm NOT exaggerating when I say he's very popular with women. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Now you will have to live with what ifs for the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 He texted, asking if he can come down and have a proper talk. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Come on sadandconfused, do you honestly believe he'll stay with me once he finds out. I'm NOT exaggerating when I say he's very popular with women. There is a slim chance that he will. What if he is one in a million and you are letting him go? I said MAJORITY of men wouldn't. I would take the risk. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 He texted, asking if he can come down and have a proper talk. Let him come and just tell him everything. He is obviously very into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 Yes, he is. He had asked me out once while I was with my ex, too. Nothing developed at that time, but we got together after that relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Ella, we don't want to attack you. We want to help you. His reaction was about what I expected. If someone told me something was wrong, but wouldn't tell me what it was, I'd be extremely frustrated. He's trying to guess what is going on and he's frustrated. He obviously cares about you since he did not break up with you. The sooner you tell him everything, the easier this will be for you. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Yep, he shows all the signs of being emotionally invested. This is very good and increases your odds of him accepting you. You have obviously charmed him in other ways Link to post Share on other sites
Author ella23 Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 well he finds me beautiful, I know that. but he hasn't seen my body, that's why. Link to post Share on other sites
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