too embarrassed to sleep with him

[boogieboy]

Well, yes I haven't dated anyone over 25, but I'm saying that it would matter to them because I don't think turn ons/turn offs and preferences suddenly change.

 

See you havent dated anyone over 25, so you have no idea that older guys have had the perky and saggy breasts, and know how to deal with both. Older guys already know that breasts sag, especially a 32D, but getting a 20 year old naked is already a blessing, saggy breasts would be just as welcome as perky ones. Many older guys actually prefer aged breasts. If you dated an older guy you would have found this out.

[Phateless]

Ella

 

you really think there's a 99% chance he'll reject you because of your breasts? You are basing that on what ONE GUY told you!

 

This thread is 90% telling you he WON'T reject you and you're listening to the 10% telling you he is.

 

He's not looking for someone "better." He's not looking for a perfect body, he's looking for a PERSON that he connects with. Is he so superficial that your breasts matter more than your personality?

 

Btw, 32d sounds amazing to me. Honestly, I want to see them.

[ella23]

Ella, you are self sabotaging yourself and it really is sad. The reason I said well under 50% was his behavior towards you throughout the relationship and how he reacted a couple of days ago. He still really wants you. Also, he has to have some idea of the shape of your breasts unless you always wear several layers of clothing over them.

 

I agree totally agree with Phateless whether you do it over the phone or whether you do it in person.

 

This is exactly why other some others and I have reccomended that you talk to a professional. You keep selling yourself short. So many of us have told you to talk with him, yet you keep freezing up when you have tried. You are so fearful of dating rejections, yet we've all experienced them and somehow we've been able to able to get ourselves up and continue dating. You need to find a way to conquer or at least reduce this fear and the sooner you figure this out, the better.

Well, I chatted with him online yesterday. Should I not be speaking to him unless/until I'm ready to tell him?

Ella

 

you really think there's a 99% chance he'll reject you because of your breasts? You are basing that on what ONE GUY told you!

 

This thread is 90% telling you he WON'T reject you and you're listening to the 10% telling you he is.

 

He's not looking for someone "better." He's not looking for a perfect body, he's looking for a PERSON that he connects with. Is he so superficial that your breasts matter more than your personality?

 

 

?? I'm not basing it on one guy's opinion.

Most of the posters have been people who're trying to help me improve my self image. I don't think many people who have nothing positive to say would post. As for him caring about my personality more than my looks, I'm sure he does care about what my personality is like, but irl looks always matter more.

And anyway, it would be a little odd calling about this now. Even if I do tell him, shouldn't I wait for a while?

Btw, 32d sounds amazing to me. Honestly, I want to see them.

Yeah sure lol

I know you guys are trying to help me with my self esteem but really.

 

See you havent dated anyone over 25, so you have no idea that older guys have had the perky and saggy breasts, and know how to deal with both. Older guys already know that breasts sag, especially a 32D, but getting a 20 year old naked is already a blessing, saggy breasts would be just as welcome as perky ones. Many older guys actually prefer aged breasts. If you dated an older guy you would have found this out.

:confused:uh, I don't think I want to be with someone who wants to be with me because he wants to see a 20 year old naked.

Another poster on this thread is over 30 and she had the same problems with guys, so that may not always be true.

An older guy probably is less likely to make fun or be nasty though, yes.

What does 'older guys' mean anyway? Dating anyone over 25 would mean a huge age difference.

Maybe I should stay single till I'm older.

Edited January 4, 2010 by ella23

[Phateless]

?? I'm not basing it on one guy's opinion.

Most of the posters have been people who're trying to help me improve my self image. I don't think many people who have nothing positive to say would post. As for him caring about my personality more than my looks, I'm sure he does care about what my personality is like, but irl looks always matter more.

And anyway, it would be a little odd calling about this now. Even if I do tell him, shouldn't I wait for a while?

 

So now you admit that most posts here say it DOES NOT matter, but you think the vast majority say IT DOES matter, but they're just not posting?? Come on, how could you possibly know that?!

 

You have to admit, that one is kind of a stretch...

 

Yeah sure lol

I know you guys are trying to help me with my self esteem but really.

 

Good lord, are you serious? How many times have I mentioned that I'm a boob guy? To me, 32D sounds like a beautiful pair of tits... I fantasize about tits like that. (dead serious) If you don't believe me, you are CHOOSING not to believe me. I talked to one of my friends recently who has 32DD and she says she's embarrassed of them and wants to get a reduction. That broke my heart because as long as I've known her I've wanted to see them, lol.

[thegreatmoose]

Well, I chatted with him online yesterday. Should I not be speaking to him unless/until I'm ready to tell him?

 

 

?? I'm not basing it on one guy's opinion.

Most of the posters have been people who're trying to help me improve my self image. I don't think many people who have nothing positive to say would post.

 

An older guy probably is less likely to make fun or be nasty though, yes.

What does 'older guys' mean anyway? Dating anyone over 25 would mean a huge age difference.

Maybe I should stay single till I'm older.

Ella, the sooner you let everything out the better. That's especially true now. This has been bothering you for so long that it would be good to know one way or the other. Chances are he will like your appearance.

 

You keep thinking negatively about this with statements like "the people who have nothing positive to say don't post". Actually some of them did post. There are plenty of positive posts and don't you want to end up with someone who is more like those who make positive posts anyway?

 

Maturity level is far important than age in years and I'd look for someone elder in maturity level.

 

No need to stay single unless you need a little break to let things calm down.

[ella23]

So now you admit that most posts here say it DOES NOT matter,

 

 

Yeah, I went through the thread again. I haven't been basing my opinion solely on this thread, that's why I say that it probably does matter.

Ella, the sooner you let everything out the better. That's especially true now. This has been bothering you for so long that it would be good to know one way or the other. Chances are he will like your appearance.

Maturity level is far important than age in years and I'd look for someone elder in maturity level.

Yeah, he's quite mature.

I think the fact that I wasn't fully honest is bothering me equally. I know that it would probably be in my best interests to know because else I'd keep thinking about how he'd actually react.

Edited January 4, 2010 by ella23

[thegreatmoose]

Yeah, he's quite mature.

I think the fact that I wasn't fully honest is bothering me equally. It would probably be in my best interests to know because else I'd keep thinking about how he'd actually react.

I'm hoping your are learning from this that being fully honest is best. Yes, it would be.

 

There have been so many times in my life that I've worried what someone would think of something, and just the stress of worrying was worse than their most negative possible reaction. When I finally told them, most of the time they had a positive reaction and I was worried about nothing.

[boogieboy]

So now you admit that most posts here say it DOES NOT matter, but you think the vast majority say IT DOES matter, but they're just not posting?? Come on, how could you possibly know that?!

 

You have to admit, that one is kind of a stretch...

 

Yeah well shes not just looking here, shes looking at other forums and places to find things that support her worst fear. She gloms onto and looks for anything that says guys dont like sagging boobs, and she filling her head with that.

Edited January 4, 2010 by boogieboy

[Kamille]

Ella, how do your boobs look when you have a bra on? Would you feel comfortable having sex with sheer sexy underwear that offers support?

 

This issue isn't going to resolve itself by hanging on to your fears.

 

What solutions do you propose, solutions that would help you have a healthy romantic life?

[Phateless]

What solutions do you propose, solutions that would help you have a healthy romantic life?

 

This is it. Someday you need to be fully comfortable being naked in front of someone. How is that going to happen?

 

If you can give us a REAL answer to this question, Ella, then we can help you move forward.

[Phateless]

In case you are comparing your breasts to what you see in the magazines, take a look at this - it will shock you. Some of the pictures that we think is the perfect image of beauty ARE NOT EVEN REAL! Yes, I mean that literally.

 

A few years back some magazine put a model on the cover that was computer-generated. They took eyes, lips, nose, etc, from all different models and photoshopped it together.

 

Talk about an IMPOSSIBLE standard of beauty!

 

I prefer sagging natural A cups to perky fake D cups.

 

VIDEO

[ella23]

Ella, how do your boobs look when you have a bra on? Would you feel comfortable having sex with sheer sexy underwear that offers support?

 

This issue isn't going to resolve itself by hanging on to your fears.

 

What solutions do you propose, solutions that would help you have a healthy romantic life?

Good question. If I knew, I wouldn't be here.

[Kamille]

Good question. If I knew, I wouldn't be here.

 

Do you think you've been open to all the input on your thread?

[Phateless]

Good question. If I knew, I wouldn't be here.

 

Here's a more direct question:

 

What could happen that would make you 100% comfortable with a guy seeing your breasts? Assuming that it were possible for you to have NO FEAR, what would have to happen first?

[Linainverse]

I have to say Ella - I have this same problem.. well i've had this problem, but I've never let it get in the way of my sex life - that's just a nono.

 

There are plenty of things to make you feel more comfortable:

 

I'm guessing you're not so comfortable while on top - no matter, opt for missionary on the days when you're feeling least comfortable, while laying down, almost any saggy boobs look awesome.

 

As I and others have said - wearing sheer but supportive bras while on top makes hell of a difference, some guys even think its a real tease.

 

Posture is important, be conscious of how your posture is (i.e. shoulders back, push your tits out) because that makes all the difference despite what you may think.

 

Ask your man to hold them while you're doing it - this feels awesome for both parties and you don't have to worry about them flapping about (maybe not in your case but in mine this is a slight predicament)

 

As a girl who enjoys seeing other girls breasts too - I must say the ones that look the most natural - that sag a bit are always better. Yes I am a chick who digs other chicks breasts =D

 

If that isn't enough to give you a push to end your poor self esteem then I'm not sure what is..

 

And if all else fails, get hammered, no-one cares what they look like if they're intoxicated ^_^

[paddington bear]

And if all else fails, get hammered, no-one cares what they look like if they're intoxicated ^_^

 

Best piece of advice so far on this thread. Honestly. Too much thinking going on...sometimes alcohol is a total blessing for getting you to open up...God knows only the guy I'm with now, is the very first person who I've slept with for the very first time when not drunk.

[Phateless]

As I and others have said - wearing sheer but supportive bras while on top makes hell of a difference, some guys even think its a real tease.

 

Hot.

 

Posture is important, be conscious of how your posture is (i.e. shoulders back, push your tits out) because that makes all the difference despite what you may think.

 

Very hot.

 

Ask your man to hold them while you're doing it - this feels awesome for both parties and you don't have to worry about them flapping about (maybe not in your case but in mine this is a slight predicament)

 

I'd be all over them anyway, lol.

 

As a girl who enjoys seeing other girls breasts too - I must say the ones that look the most natural - that sag a bit are always better. Yes I am a chick who digs other chicks breasts =D

 

So true!

 

And if all else fails, get hammered, no-one cares what they look like if they're intoxicated ^_^

 

Haha, not a bad idea. Whenever my gf and I go out clubbing we can't wait to get home for "drunk sex." It's like a hobby.

 

Best piece of advice so far on this thread. Honestly. Too much thinking going on...sometimes alcohol is a total blessing for getting you to open up...God knows only the guy I'm with now, is the very first person who I've slept with for the very first time when not drunk.

 

Wow... yeah alcohol is definitely liquid courage.

[Linainverse]

Best piece of advice so far on this thread. Honestly. Too much thinking going on...sometimes alcohol is a total blessing for getting you to open up...God knows only the guy I'm with now, is the very first person who I've slept with for the very first time when not drunk.

 

Exactly! Drunk sex makes all the difference.

 

Ella, you really have to get a grip - you're 20, with 32D breasts, honestly, NOT that big - so they can't sag THAT much.

 

Me, 19, 30FF breasts, yes, they sag, ALOT - You're not the only one in this very large world with this 'problem'

 

But I guess you're the kind of person who is afraid of aging. If it's not saggy breasts it's crows feet at 22, then grey hairs at 23, then cellulite at any age, then stretch marks from losing weight, then varicose veins from poor circulation, then balding cause you didn't get enough protein as an adolescent, then it's osteoporosis from not exercising your bones earlier in life and forgetting to get your calcium...the results will be endless...

 

Don't be so afraid to age - it's gonna happen sooner or later, better to be comfortable with yourself now so you can prepare yourself for saggy arms and even worse, a saggy arse

[boogieboy]

Me, 19, 30FF breasts, yes, they sag, ALOT - You're not the only one in this very large world with this 'problem'

 

OMG! hey Lina, we need a rundown of the age of the guys you dated, and if they had a problem with your 30FF's sagging? This is Ella's main concern. Please Enlighten her. Shes not afraid of aging, shes afraid of not being able to handle guys making comments about her breasts and breaking up with her because of them. She cant handle rejection.

[ella23]

Exactly! Drunk sex makes all the difference.

 

Ella, you really have to get a grip - you're 20, with 32D breasts, honestly, NOT that big - so they can't sag THAT much.

 

Me, 19, 30FF breasts, yes, they sag, ALOT - You're not the only one in this very large world with this 'problem'

 

But I guess you're the kind of person who is afraid of aging. If it's not saggy breasts it's crows feet at 22, then grey hairs at 23, then cellulite at any age, then stretch marks from losing weight, then varicose veins from poor circulation, then balding cause you didn't get enough protein as an adolescent, then it's osteoporosis from not exercising your bones earlier in life and forgetting to get your calcium...the results will be endless...

 

Don't be so afraid to age - it's gonna happen sooner or later, better to be comfortable with yourself now so you can prepare yourself for saggy arms and even worse, a saggy arse

I'm not afraid of ageing. I knew they would sag someday, that's not the point. I also know that 30FF probably sag a lot more.

 

 

Do you think you've been open to all the input on your thread?

 

yes, I think so.

[Linainverse]

Okay.. well let me see.

 

1st guy who saw them, they were only 32DD - he never actually said anything about them.. I was 16, he was 16.. so can't really make a judgment there..

 

2nd guy was a year older than me so 18.. he actually had the nerve to say they look better in the bra - which is obvious, but i wasn't sure if that meant he was repulsed by them, he's history anyways.

 

3rd guy was 20 - he said they were great, and had to comment on how big he thought they were - so I guess that's good too.

 

4th guy I dated from the age of 17-19 (a few days ago sadly) and he is now 23 - he loved them, did not care that they sat low, he understood that this was a natural thing that happens and did not hesitate to cop a feel whenever he could.

 

And the 5th guy who i never dated, who was just one of those friends you do when you're bored (lol I know) just couldn't stop looking at them, he was the eldest at 25..

 

 

Can't really say anyone has complained - the one who loved me completely loved them completely too.

[Linainverse]

I'm not afraid of ageing. I knew they would sag someday, that's not the point. I also know that 30FF probably sag a lot more.

 

What is the point then? Boobs are awesome, sagalicious or not.

 

Well, luckily for me I can still see my own nipples when I look down - so they haven't completely gone south yet.

 

I do pushups and bench presses every day to keep the pectoral muscles firm to avoid further saggage however - that's probably all you can do without going under the knife.

Edited January 5, 2010 by Linainverse
none

[ella23]

What is the point then? Boobs are awesome, sagalicious or not.

 

The point is that I'd be turning the guys I date or have a relationship with off.

 

Well, luckily for me I can still see my own nipples when I look down - so they haven't completely gone south yet.

 

I do pushups and bench presses every day to keep the pectoral muscles firm to avoid further saggage however - that's probably all you can do without going under the knife.

 

I do bench presses and pushups as well. I'm not going under the knife. I can also vow to remain celibate forever, which I feel tempted to do.

 

Yeah well shes not just looking here, shes looking at other forums and places to find things that support her worst fear. She gloms onto and looks for anything that says guys dont like sagging boobs, and she filling her head with that.

Um, I don't do it to feed my fear or something.

Edited January 5, 2010 by ella23

[Linainverse]

The point is that I'd be turning the guys I date or have a relationship with off.

 

 

The only thing they'll be turned off by is your lack of confidence and self esteem.

[boogieboy]

The point is that I'd be turning the guys I date or have a relationship with off.

 

Um, I don't do it to feed my fear or something.

 

Oh you sure do. Youve already talked about searching other forums and sites about getting rejected, and youve been talking about it for 49 pages.