Are they boring, or am I expecting too much?

[Leonard]

When I talk to some women I find that they happen to be the most boring people on the planet. I find myself not wanting to form a relationship with them even though some may be interested in me.

 

I'm in my final year of medical school, I've been skydiving, travelling in Europe, climbed the highest mountain peak in southeast Asia, been a bassist in a band, personally met Kofi Annan at a UN meeting, made the most ingenious pranks in school, helped removed a cancerous tumor out of a man's colon, done street racing for a period of time, and more. I'm still at a tender young age of 23.

 

Women I've met are the most boring creatures in the planet. I'm not sure if I'm meeting the wrong ones, but I've met a spectrum of them ranging from law school, to a random person at a house party. They have no stories to tell me to entertain me apart from drinking and parties. Is that all they do with their lives?

 

I can't bear to mind that if I were to get into a relationship with any of these girls, they would be the bane of my existence because they are so incredibly mundane.

 

I just want someone who is able to enjoy life with me as I do, and contribute into a relationship as interestingly as I do. I don't think being busy is really an excuse to be boring anymore because I know how to organize my life to fit my fun time inbetween work.

Everytime a girl is interested in me, I feel as if I'm doing all the work being interesting and exciting, while she gives nothing back to hold my interest with her personality or life experiences. At the end of the day, I just flake or put her into the friend zone.

 

It's a huge emotional/sexual turn off and I'm beginning to be afraid that one day I might have to accept that women are just boring as hell.

 

Am I looking in all the wrong places, or are women really this boring?

[ADF]

Frankly, you sound so utterly full of yourself, the women you aren't dating ought to count themselves as lucky.

[Leonard]

Frankly, you sound so utterly full of yourself, the women you aren't dating ought to count themselves as lucky.

 

I think it's a healthy attitude to be proud of my accomplishments.

 

I don't openly brag about them, but if a topic that's relevant comes up, I can tell them a good story about it. If people didn't like what I'm saying they are free to leave the conversation. Ironically, what I have to say makes people stick around to hear more.

 

Exaggerating or lying about my life experiences is not something I do, and I think people value that.

[TheLoneSock]

When I talk to some women I find that they happen to be the most boring people on the planet. I find myself not wanting to form a relationship with them even though some may be interested in me.

 

Bummer. I guess you're just too amazing.

 

I'm in my final year of medical school, I've been skydiving, travelling in Europe, climbed the highest mountain peak in southeast Asia, been a bassist in a band, personally met Kofi Annan at a UN meeting, made the most ingenious pranks in school, helped removed a cancerous tumor out of a man's colon, done street racing for a period of time, and more.

 

It sounds to me like you're looking for attention.

 

I'm still at a tender young age of 23.

 

Funny, from your pic you look like you're 14.

 

Women I've met are the most boring creatures in the planet.

 

They aren't creatures.

 

They have no stories to tell me to entertain me apart from drinking and parties.

 

Lol, aww no stories? I'm sure your mom has lots of stories to tell you before tucking you in at night, maybe you'll find her more entertaining?

 

I can't bear to mind that if I were to get into a relationship with any of these girls, they would be the bane of my existence because they are so incredibly mundane.

 

Again, I guess you're just too amazing.

 

I just want someone who is able to enjoy life with me as I do, and contribute into a relationship as interestingly as I do. I don't think being busy is really an excuse to be boring anymore because I know how to organize my life to fit my fun time inbetween work.

Everytime a girl is interested in me, I feel as if I'm doing all the work being interesting and exciting, while she gives nothing back to hold my interest with her personality or life experiences. At the end of the day, I just flake or put her into the friend zone.

 

Maybe you're gay? You'd probably be better entertained by other guys.

 

It's a huge emotional/sexual turn off and I'm beginning to be afraid that one day I might have to accept that women are just boring as hell.

 

Am I looking in all the wrong places, or are women really this boring?

 

Lol. It's not them, it's you kiddo. Women are not play things meant to entertain you.

 

Are you sure you're not 14, attention starved, and upset over the lack of bedtime stories in your life?

 

Medical school or not, you sound like you need to grow up, Leonard.

[xpaperxcutx]

Okay, so you've done most of the things only a select few would be able to do in their lifetime. You don't have to be so uppity about it.

 

If no women interests you, then you're meeting girls and female peers that are more self- absorbed ( American culture and materialism are still in, don'tcha know?) Go interact with the bookworms and study gals that have more to say than " hey, did you watch MTV last night?".

 

If you're still unable to become interested, then you might to start thinking switching away from the hetero team to the other side.

[alphamale]

Am I looking in all the wrong places, or are women really this boring?

you have to look further south, in the chest and pelvic regions

[melodymatters]

It sounds like you are too busy gazing into the mirror to even begin to find out what interesting stories or life experiences these woman may have had.

 

Don't worry, eventually life will beat you down enough, that you will welcome someone who is kind, and warm, and funny, and smart, even if she hasn't climbed Mt Everest yet.

[Leonard]

Thanks TheLoneSock, I'm sure that's a very mature reply with personal insults.

 

My definition of being grown up and being mature is caring for others before myself, which I do on a daily basis. However, when an opportunity to open a relationship comes up, I have to expect something back because I don't want a one-sided relationship.

 

I'm sorry you think I'm 14. I get that quite a lot from some white people who are quite ignorant on how young asian people can look like. Our physical appearance doesn't age in the same way as other races. I have asian friends who sometimes get away with paying a child's fare for bus trips.

 

I don't seem to be getting useful advice from anyone so far. The responses so far seem to be aiming to batter my self esteem, which I think isn't very fair. I don't think I think very highly of myself and I never said I was the most incredible person on the planet. In fact I usually point out someone I've met in my life who has done some amazing things as well, but do I have to put that in my original post in order to make the responses less vicious?

 

It would be useful if someone can provide some useful objective insight about my experiences with women instead of these posts.

[Leonard]

It sounds like you are too busy gazing into the mirror to even begin to find out what interesting stories or life experiences these woman may have had.

 

Don't worry, eventually life will beat you down enough, that you will welcome someone who is kind, and warm, and funny, and smart, even if she hasn't climbed Mt Everest yet.

 

That's the most useful thing I've heard all day. Thanks

 

I haven't considered that I've probably not experiences the worst life has to offer yet, and that I've probably been too busy comparing my experiences with theirs before they have a chance to tell me theirs.

 

I'm not sure if it's because I'm a poor listener. If that is the case, Is there a way to improve my attitude?

[threebyfate]

Wha, what? Sorry, I almost dozed off, after reading your opening post.

 

Accomplishments are great to have under your belt. But do you know who you are? It sounds to me like you're so busy finding yourself and stabilizing, that there's no room for anyone else.

[Leonard]

Wha, what? Sorry, I almost dozed off, after reading your opening post.

 

Accomplishments are great to have under your belt. But do you know who you are? It sounds to me like you're so busy finding yourself and stabilizing, that there's no room for anyone else.

 

I haven't given it much thought. Perhaps you're right, because I'm the type of person who usually lives in the moment of things. I take large risks for the thrill (for example skydiving), but I'm overly cautious when it comes to dating. I'm not sure why things are prioritized that way.

 

Is there a way to truly understand oneself?

[alphamale]

Is there a way to truly understand oneself?

a woman will provide you excitement with her body and not her mind oh young jedi...

[threebyfate]

I haven't given it much thought. Perhaps you're right, because I'm the type of person who usually lives in the moment of things. I take large risks for the thrill (for example skydiving), but I'm overly cautious when it comes to dating. I'm not sure why things are prioritized that way.

 

Is there a way to truly understand oneself?

My take is that you identify yourself with what you've accomplished. When you move onto a serious path, you will continue identifying yourself by your job.

 

When you look at a girl, you ask "what has she done", instead of "do we have a connection". In essence, you're defining her, as you define yourself.

 

I can't help you find yourself. You're going to have to figure out what drives you. Say you remove all your accomplishments. Who are you as a person? What do you value, beyond accomplishments?

[Leonard]

a woman will provide you excitement with her body and not her mind oh young jedi...

 

Haha, I'll keep that in mind buddy

 

My take is that you identify yourself with what you've accomplished. When you move onto a serious path, you will continue identifying yourself by your job.

 

When you look at a girl, you ask "what has she done", instead of "do we have a connection". In essence, you're defining her, as you define yourself.

 

I can't help you find yourself. You're going to have to figure out what drives you. Say you remove all your accomplishments. Who are you as a person? What do you value, beyond accomplishments?

 

That is some wise advice. I'll have to get to work on it, even though it sounds like an alien concept to me. There isn't much words to describe myself really, perhaps time will tell. :S

[wheream_i]

Too funny. Anyhow Leonard, when you come across that one woman that you find to be your equal, don't be surprised to find that she will put you in your place. It is then that you will fall in love.

[threebyfate]

That is some wise advice. I'll have to get to work on it, even though it sounds like an alien concept to me. There isn't much words to describe myself really, perhaps time will tell. :S

I strongly encourage you to round out more. While your past accomplishments can never be taken away from you, your future ones can, whether through career loss or that they become meaningless. What happens then? Do you cease to exist as a person or do you revert back to past glories? Where will you source your happiness and self-respect from?

 

*thumps chest*

 

That's right. You source from within, the person inside, the one who you've shaped into a solid core of who you are, not solely what you've done. Who you are will have aspects of what you've accomplished but less about each individual feat and more about building Leonard on a platform of "I am", rather than "I've done".

[ordinary_girl]

When I talk to some women I find that they happen to be the most boring people on the planet. I find myself not wanting to form a relationship with them even though some may be interested in me.

 

I'm in my final year of medical school, I've been skydiving, travelling in Europe, climbed the highest mountain peak in southeast Asia, been a bassist in a band, personally met Kofi Annan at a UN meeting, made the most ingenious pranks in school, helped removed a cancerous tumor out of a man's colon, done street racing for a period of time, and more. I'm still at a tender young age of 23.

 

Women I've met are the most boring creatures in the planet. I'm not sure if I'm meeting the wrong ones, but I've met a spectrum of them ranging from law school, to a random person at a house party. They have no stories to tell me to entertain me apart from drinking and parties. Is that all they do with their lives?

 

I can't bear to mind that if I were to get into a relationship with any of these girls, they would be the bane of my existence because they are so incredibly mundane.

 

I just want someone who is able to enjoy life with me as I do, and contribute into a relationship as interestingly as I do. I don't think being busy is really an excuse to be boring anymore because I know how to organize my life to fit my fun time inbetween work.

Everytime a girl is interested in me, I feel as if I'm doing all the work being interesting and exciting, while she gives nothing back to hold my interest with her personality or life experiences. At the end of the day, I just flake or put her into the friend zone.

 

It's a huge emotional/sexual turn off and I'm beginning to be afraid that one day I might have to accept that women are just boring as hell.

 

Am I looking in all the wrong places, or are women really this boring?

 

well I have read the entire thread and I am afraid I have some bad news for you: most people are boring.

 

I have done the same things as you and while I don't expect my boyfriend to have the same experiences, I can only be with interesting people and it ain't easy to find them.

 

most people are into their white picket fences/two cars on the drive way/ house in suburbia/jobs/money/competing with friends/etc

 

it is hard to meet genuinely interesting people and I'm afraid my gender is probably more guilty of this than men because a lot of women expect to be entertained rather than put anything on the table themselves.

 

by doing so much by the tender age of 23 you have set yourself up for a life of disappointment and boredom.

[FleshNBones]

Frankly, you sound so utterly full of yourself, the women you aren't dating ought to count themselves as lucky.

I think he is looking for women who share some of the same interests, and have the same energy level as him.

[threebyfate]

I think he is looking for women who share some of the same interests, and have the same energy level as him.

I don't think it's as simple as that. Don't get me wrong, I think it's excellent to want to drive oneself externally. But Leonard hasn't done any self-auditing of who he is, rather continually looking for a bigger challenge to externally conquer. Better to pull back a little externally, if there isn't enough energy to fuel the internal, which is where he's going to potentially connect with someone, if it's going to happen.

[FleshNBones]

well I have read the entire thread and I am afraid I have some bad news for you: most people are boring.

It is actually worse than that. Most people have no inspiration, no motivation other than the most basic needs, and no creativity. It seems like most women are looking to ride somebody's coattails. Those guys seem like they are in dead-end jobs or are just plain unemployed. It also seems like people who boast tend to lie about their accomplishments.

[Pizzaman81]

...done street racing for a period of time..

 

No don't do that again.

 

What kind of car do you drive? See? notice you get no attention from girls about street racing but just other dudes? Girls don't really care how fast you drive.

[sally4sara]

Thanks TheLoneSock, I'm sure that's a very mature reply with personal insults.

 

My definition of being grown up and being mature is caring for others before myself, which I do on a daily basis. However, when an opportunity to open a relationship comes up, I have to expect something back because I don't want a one-sided relationship.

 

I'm sorry you think I'm 14. I get that quite a lot from some white people who are quite ignorant on how young asian people can look like. Our physical appearance doesn't age in the same way as other races. I have asian friends who sometimes get away with paying a child's fare for bus trips.

 

I don't seem to be getting useful advice from anyone so far. The responses so far seem to be aiming to batter my self esteem, which I think isn't very fair. I don't think I think very highly of myself and I never said I was the most incredible person on the planet. In fact I usually point out someone I've met in my life who has done some amazing things as well, but do I have to put that in my original post in order to make the responses less vicious?

 

It would be useful if someone can provide some useful objective insight about my experiences with women instead of these posts.

 

Dude Ralph Macchio was 23 when he played a 15 year old in the Karate Kid. He isn't Asian. You don't own the market on looking young by birthright so cool off on the indignant claim. I would think a med student would know better than to think his youthful appearance was because he is "Asian".

And now that I think of it - I've never met an Asian person who refers to themselves as Asian or rather "asian".........Even if it was about your ethnicity, why would only white people make this mistake about Asians?

 

I think your bluff has been called. How boring.

[robj118]

I'm sure you worked very hard and saved all your pennies to pay for your extravicant adventures, can you say "bank of mommy and daddy". All of us don't have everything handed to them like you apparently do, grow up kid.

[Citizen Erased]

I'm sure you worked very hard and saved all your pennies to pay for your extravicant adventures, can you say "bank of mommy and daddy". All of us don't have everything handed to them like you apparently do, grow up kid.

This was my line of thinking, although not quite as harsh. Not everyone has the same opportunities in life, it's very arrogant to judge people for not achieving the same things you have when you have had a better start in life.

 

Just because you've done some interesting things doesn't make you any less boring than the guy that hasn't even left his home town. Just my take on it.

[Pizzaman81]

I'm sure you worked very hard and saved all your pennies to pay for your extravicant adventures, can you say "bank of mommy and daddy". All of us don't have everything handed to them like you apparently do, grow up kid.

 

Bank of Mommy and Daddy is very common in Asian cultures. I must admit I grew up the same way. Parents give up almost everything and supports their kid through college and sometimes beyond. And we tend to stick together and help each other a lot. And they expect when they are old that we take care of them and hope not to send them to some retirement home.

 

2 years ago my parents lost their business. I had so much money saved up I was able to help them financially for 2 years with mortgage and all while still owning my own house.

 

However, I do find that lots of us (Asians) get strong headed over these things, because we take it for granted though, and not realize a lot of people out there do not grow up like we do. I wouldn't say we are spoiled, because we in turn dedicate our effort and lives in the future to take care of all family.

 

But ya don't mind the OP. He's just showing off.

Edited December 21, 2009 by Pizzaman81