I need tips to start dating again!!!

[texastapper]

What are some tips on starting to date again. I'm not a bad looking guy but every time I talk to a girl they just come off as stuck up. Whats with these woman, Im not one to sit here and flock all over some girl at a club or bar. It seems like when I go out its 8 to 1 guys to girls. Where the heck do all the mature classy woman hang out. Im tired of all these immature girls that think they are God's gift to men. I just want to meet somebody that is real and not fake!

[amerikajin]

Hearty Amen to that! I know exatly what you mean, too, about the bar scene. It's just not there.

 

I think everybody has their niche. For some people, bars are a good place to pick up chicks, and they're good at doing it in that situation. For others, it's online. Church seems to be another good place to meet singles as well (and before I get slammed, mind you, I'm not advocating that you do this - just noting that some people have found good relationships in the Church community). It all varies depending on your interests and personality.

 

For me (and sense for you as well), bars just aren't my arena of choice. Bars play loud music, with lots of cigarette smoke blowing and booze flowing. Basically, the ones I've noticed who are good at working the bar scene are loud and know how to shoot the bullsh$t. It's actually kinda fascinating to sit back and watch a real smooth operator spring into action...and sometimes I wish I WERE that smooth operator. Alas, I'm not.

 

Me, I prefer situations in which I can get a little one on one time and speak as I would to anyone, rather than talking over Garth Brooks at 100db. I like Garth, but he doesn't help me out when the women can't hear the punchlines to my jokes. Usually, private parties are a good way for me to give women a glimpse of all of my faces. Dating in a foreign country is a different situation but I still reflect on what it was like to date back in the States. Haven't been away that long

 

My recommendation? Try unusual things like...a good art museum or a wine tasting event. Don't forget about volunteering, too. Lots of good looking singles out there who use these forums to weed out the types they'd rather avoid at a bar (just like you're trying to do).

 

Anyway, you have to adapt your approach according to your personality. Quiet guys have a low batting average in bars. But worry not, you can simply change your venue.

[DragonflyX]

I have had the exact same experience. Even the fat girls are picky Seriously, I didn't try dating for most of the 90's as I was engaged-married-divorced-devestated for most of it.

 

When I started back I encountered the same thing. Almost every girl I tried to talk to in a social situation acted insulted that I would dare approach her without being Brad Pitt. A few times I would hit it off, we would talk for hours and when I saw them a few days later they would act like they never met me. I am thinking about moving to another country where maybe the women are somewhat sane.

 

I am currently having this wierd experience with a woman at work. There are days where she seems to seek me out to talk to and then some days where I will wave at her in the hallway or company gym and she acts like she doesn't notice I'm there even though I catch her looking at me first. I asked her to lunch last week, hoping to get to know her better and she begged off saying she was meeting some friends. She also said she would love to go some other time. Two days later I ran next to her on a treadmill and wanted to talk to her after the run. She finished a couple of minutes before I did and walked off without a word even though I made a little small talk while we were running. One of us needs a Prozac and I don't think it's me.

 

I have pretty much figured out I will die alone.

 

Best of luck

[d1410]

I think these people are either playing games with you or are really insecure...or both. lol

 

It's hard in a lot of settings to meet people of the opposite sex. Making plans for a date is even harder but if someone is playing around with your emotions, then forget about them..they are not worth the struggle.

 

There ARE decent people out there that will treat you with respect and courtesy...it just takes time to find them.

 

I agree with amerkijan...try a different venue, where you're likely to meet nice people to talk to.

 

dragonflyX,

 

if this woman at work is being hot and cold with you..I wouldn't go out of my way to talk and say hi to her. I'm not saying to ignore her but just smiling or saying hi is enough. If she's giving you mixed signals, forget it...she's either got some issues she's trying to deal with, is moody or is not interested. If you've shown you're interested and she isn't consistent with you...then she may not be worth the effort.

 

don't give up, I've met my share of people who have given me the run around but these people are just not worth the effort that goes into a friendship or full-blown relationship.

 

good luck too,

 

d

[Arabess]

What you guys are saying really surprised me...I had no idea guys went thru that!!!

 

I agree bars aren't the best place to meet your 'dream come true' because with all the drinking.....it all becomes distorted. It's fun for the short run though.

 

I think the internet is a good place to meet people. It doesn't have to be on some 'love match' site. Forums like this or ones which address whatever areas you are interested in can be a great place to meet someone who already has something in common with you. Grocery stores, ball games, fairs....I don't know....you can meet people anywhere!!! I've swapped phone numbers at red lights.

 

There are women who come across as being stuck up....because they erroneously think that makes them seem high maintenance....therefore high class. They think if they act cool and aloof.....guys will think they are 'special'. Actually, they just look stupid and hurt their own chances. Not all women are like that. Give it some time and look around.

 

PS: Just don't act dorkey and dress funny. LOL!