Feelings about a friend

[lovebug24]

I am very confused about this very good friend/coworker of mine. I am pretty sure that he sees me as a friend only and that is it but I have very strong feelings for him and am not sure what to do. Sometimes I think he does care but other times I think he has not feelings at all.

 

I finally admitted to him via a text msg (yes, I know that was probably very stupid) but I told him that I wanted to end our friendship b/c I could not go on like this any longer. I told him that I cared about him and that I would miss talking to him but I felt like this had to be done.

 

Well he never replied back and the next day he came to talk to me at work and acted like everything was okay!!! He never mentioned my text but just stood smiling at me. I was cold towards him b/c I was trying to keep to what I said. He finally took the hint and walked away. The next day I saw him and he just stared at me and smiled. I did not smile and turned away from him. A few hours later I had to talk to him about a work related issue and he was cold to me and acted like he was mad.

 

We both kept our distance from each other for about 2 weeks but now he is calling me and acting like everything is okay again. I have to admit that I miss him b/c we used to talk every day for a couple of hours and text each other after work so I have started talking to him more when he calls. I feel really stupid after talking to him b/c I am going back on what I originally said to him.

 

I am crazy about this guy but why can't he tell me if he either wants to be just friends or he wants more??

 

We have fooled around in the past, most recently a few months ago. He has referred to the times that we have slept together as "making love" and he has told me that he cares for me and that I am very special to him. He seems to only be able to tell me his feelings after he has been drinking.

 

Not sure what to think here, maybe by him not responding to me telling him how much I care should tell me something?? He has told me that he is very insecure and afraid of rejection, could this be it??

[WTRanger]

You have got to talk to him. Are you 100% sure he saw your message? Even if he did, ignoring him won't bring him around to talking to you. It's like the two of you are playing a game of who can ignore who. This is where a fundamental breakdown in communication is complicating things into a nasty mess. Do not text him, do not IM him, but talk to him.

 

It makes no sense. You can have sex with him and let him see you naked but you are afraid to tell him how you really feel? Just sit him down and tell him everything you've said here. Tell him that you care about him but you cannot move things forward unless you get a commitment out of him. If he cannot commit then the two of you have some serious figuring out to do.

 

Yes, it is easier said than done. But sometimes you just have to put yourself out on the line and hope that the other person feels the same.