Cariel Posted December 20, 2003 Share Posted December 20, 2003 I used to love the holiday season as much as anyone I've ever met, but over the last few years it's become nothing but a lot of work and meeting other people's expectations, always with less time to do the same thing. My mother became disabled a decade ago and after a couple of miserable years during which I tried to work full-time, raise a child alone, and run two households my parents moved in with me. It was easier at first, but since that time my mother has become less and less able to do for herself - let alone anyone else - but still insists that Christmas be as it's been since 1953 or so...same food, decorations, cookies, etc. Let me tell you something: it's damn hard to be pushing 50, working full-time, tending to two semi-invalids (a few years ago I "inherited" my father's mother - now 96) on a normal day, let alone one where three batches of cookies, two kinds of hors d'oeuvres and putting up an elaborate garland over the LR fireplace are on the "production schedule". And yes, I now consider it a production schedule, expecially since no one else in the family helps with anything even if they're able to. I've had it. I want the joy back. Before anyone asks, no...there are no siblings to help bear the load. My only brother lives in TX and has only visited 3 times since he moved there 15 years ago. 'Nuff said about that. After breaking down in tears at a stoplight on the way to the grocery store today, I decided enough was enough. I "think" I can still get through this miserable holiday this year, but have decided it's the last time. I'd be perfectly happy with some paperwhites and poinsettias for decorations and frozen pizza for Christmas dinner and am going to say so. If the lot of them want more, they can damn well pitch in with ideas to "make it so" without my tearing myself apart. Thanks for listening, guys...I really needed to vent. P 1 Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted December 20, 2003 Share Posted December 20, 2003 I understand you totally. Not so much with your family situation, but with Christmas and the whole holiday thing. EVery year it is the same thing for me, I hate the holidays and find myself very emotional. I guess I have had it at the age of 22. And living with my mother had been no treat, because she has been misreable. Just hate the holidays and wish it was over. Tonight I was supposed to go to a family gathering, but with the huge fight with my mom this morning, I got out of it. But, with my family, no one is close, so why bothering going when I would have been twice as misreable. Anywho, sorry, just had to vent myself. Can't wait for 2004. Let me make the prediction of me being single once again. I can't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted December 21, 2003 Share Posted December 21, 2003 Wow, I'm sorry you're going through so much now. It's not wonder you're dreading this holidays. You have so much on your plate on a normal day and adding Christmas to the mix only compounds your burdens. Is there anyone who can come in and stay with your parents for a while so you can go out and have some "me" time? It sounds like you need to take some time for yourself.........get a manicure, a massage, go see a movie or whatever it is you enjoy. If not, you're eventually gonna blow up. I dread the holidays too, but for different reasons. I hope the cry you had helped you a little. I'm really sorry for your frustrations. (((((HUGS))))) Link to post Share on other sites
dsbs1939 Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday--it is about sharing dinner and hanging out with family, I work in the hospitality industry and when it comes to Xmas, having to work on that holiday is no problem. With one part of my family, it has become more about the presents and everyone nit-picking the gifts and trying to guess how much someone spent that makes me want to hurl. The other side, focuses more on just hanging out and having a pleasant meal, but it is a tug-o-war as to how it should be celebrated, so the sides square off and it becomes one major disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 when youre feeling crappy about the holidays, feel grateful you have the people to buy the stupid presents for and to shop for..... (Get out your Kleenex before reading this...) > > A good reminder: take time to appreciate what you have now. > > On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket > to buy the gifts I didn't manage to buy earlier. When I saw all the people > there, I started to complain to myself: 'It is going to take forever here > and I still have so many other places to go...' Christmas really is getting > more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, > go to sleep and only wake up after it was over. I started to curse > the prices, wondering if kids really play with such expensive toys. > > While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 > years old pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair > of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who this doll was for. Then > the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: 'Granny, are you sure I > don't have enough money?' The old lady replied: 'You know that you > don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.' Then she asked him to > stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. > The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. > > Finally, I started to walk towards him and asked who he wanted to give this doll to. > > 'It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. > She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that > maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But > he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she > is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy say that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister'. My heart nearly stopped. > > The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket' Then he showed me a very > nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me: 'I also want > mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me.' 'I love > my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she > has to go to be with my little sister' Then he looked again at the doll with > sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few > bills and said to the boy. What if we checked again, just in case if u > have enough money?' 'Ok' he said. 'I hope that I have enough.' I added > some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. > There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money. The little boy > said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money' then he looked at me and > added: 'I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have > enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. > He heard me' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for > my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough > to buy the doll and the white rose.' 'You know, my mummy loves white roses > > > A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. I > finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I > couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local > newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck > who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little > girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy in mind, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial. > She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the > photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. > > I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that > day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken > all this away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 The older I've gotten, I have become progressively less enthused about all of the holiday cheer. I think Christmas has become so fake anyway that I hardly want to take the time to bother with it. If I were a Christian, it might be different I suppose. I've never been a big fan of family get-togethers. There's always some element of dysfunction to contend with and no matter how old I get, I always get treated like the child in the family. It's a rank from which I'll never be promoted. And why, oh why, do my family's problems have to become my problems? Anyone else have that s*** thrown at them? Someone else's bitterness turns into an obligation to feel sorry for them, or do something special for them, or listen to them b!tch ad nauseam about whatever's eating away at them. I'm not their f*cking shrink. For me, I just like a lot of time off from work - that's my holiday season. It came in November for me this year. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Glow Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 I'm going somewhere sunny next christmas, I'm fed up. Link to post Share on other sites
ButtonPusher Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 I'm going somewhere sunny next christmas, I'm fed up. I'm from somewhere sunny...Doesn't make a difference, I'm over xmas too. Link to post Share on other sites
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