Moving into the basement today....

[Gunny376]

The only thing in the last 20 years that I've seen or heard that works with a WWW (or a WWH) is swift, deliberate DefCon4, M.A.D. (Mutual Assured Destruction)

 

Back in the day when I was going though it, back before PC's, the Internet, and fourms such as LS, I made all the "classic" mistakes of trying to beg, plead, implore, reason with my XHEX back into the marriage.

 

The more I pursued? The faster and further she ran into the arms of the OM (Men)

 

Back in the day? I was just plain old fashioned ignorant. That is to say I just didn't know any better.

 

I didn't understand little less comprehend that men and women think differently, see things differently, have different perspetives and albiet attitudes.

 

That they operated from different perspectives and thus attitudes. I recognized and understood that there were physical differences of course. I just didn't understnad nor comprehend that there were mental and serious emotional differnces.

 

As a man ~ especially a career military man ~ I thought and lived in a world that was rational, logical, tactical, strategic.

 

I gave little if any credit toward ~ emotional.

 

That's not to say that women cannot be such? But more often than not? It has to connect and jive with the emotional connection.

 

The emotional connection comes about by the nature of they're being women. Women are by definiition? Mothers, and mothers are by definition ~ nuturing and caring.

 

Nuturing and caring are by definition? Emotional!

 

A concept that is for most men? Alien.

 

In short? Men aren't women and women aren't men.

 

Although there are some women that are more like men, and men that are more like women (Ref: "Brain Sex", "National Geograpic" , "Time" magazine) in action, word, and deed.

 

It would seem that what is going on with you and the DW is that you've suffered an emotional disconnect ~ in that as a man? You were focused upon earning a living, moving up the food chain, keeping your job in a bad economy etc.

 

When what she wanted and needed from you as a man ~ was an emotional connection in that you were the center of her universe that she revolved around.

 

That is to say that she came before any and everything else in your life. Your job, your career, your family, your wants, your needs, your hobbies, your desires (Sorry marriage life can be a bitch) whatever.

 

When you didn't divy up? She went looking elsewhere ~ back to the future where she once found it.

 

The OM can offer it up because he's not any committments, responibilites, obligations other than himself.

 

But as a lifelong bachelor ~ he's not going to go into committment mode now, especially with someone who's got 'rugrats' tagging along. He's just looking for a little "Strange" or someone to tied him over until the next one comes along.

 

If you want her, and you want this marriage? You've got to shift your priorties in Life from work and carrer to her.

 

That's right! You've got to make her the center of your universe, learn what her wants and needs are and provide accordingly.

 

You've got to re-think what your wants and needs are, your goals and objectives are? And re-shift them into what her wants and needs are.

 

You've got to re-think what is important to you ~ and substitude what's important to her. It really comes down to when in a relationship with a woman ~ If Mama's not happy? No ones happy!" and Do you want to be RIGHT? Are do you want to be happy?

 

She's telling you, (by reverting back to her ex boyfriend) and by staying and arguing with you ~ that its YOU she wants! But she needs you to shift your priorties and focus (from whatever its on) to her!

 

What she's trying to communicate to you is that your not meeting her emotional needs, you've got your priorties and focus mixed up.

 

I'm not saying your a bad guy! You probally work long and hard for her and your family. You probally don't drink, lay out in bars let alone strip clubs, drink or snort up the rent & grocery money. But being a good provider and protector isn't enough.

 

You've got to meet her emotional needs (And lets face the facts! You're going to have to do this with this wife or the next! Women! They're all the same but each one uniquely different!)

 

And that means indulging them ~ even though as a male it drives you insane! That means going shopping at the Mall when you've got all of $10 in the bank? That means going to ChinaMart just to "look and see" spending endless hours when you could be at home watching the game?

 

Yea!

 

I know!

 

I'm a retired United States Marine!

 

I know I'm Crazy!

 

But you know what?

 

Its keep me from going INSANE!

[tnttim]

Read Homer Macdonalds book "stop your Divorce" its the 180 on steroids. It has nothing to do with saving your marriage, it changes you. You have to become a man women want to date and f*ck. Your wife will notice immediately. NC for you is impossible, the same with me. What I did was only pay attention to the important things, money and kids. The rest I kinda brushed it off. I kept the conversations under 10 minutes, and I always ended the call, best when she was in the middle of saying something. Arguments are so easy, just agree agree agree. I don't care if she says do I look fat, you agree. She will blow up, but she also will come back and apologize. Who's the winner in a fight, the one who gets the apology. You can read my thread if you want to know my story.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t206069/

[confusedinky]

Gunny... are you sure you're not my wife in disguise?? I spent the last 2 years pursuing my MBA and totally ignored her (thought she was supportive of this at time, only so many hours in the day and thought she would understand while the kids wouldn't... wrong answer). Just one question is it O.K. to start this project after the playoffs?

 

TNT, we have a lot of similarities and I appreciate your advice... I have looked at his site and thought about buying it. I'll look again thanks.

[confusedinky]

Hey all I haven’t checked in a while so thought I’d provide a quick update. Just finished up week #5 in the basement and it has gone a long way towards releasing a lot of the tension in the home. The kids are starting to get used to it and hopefully feel free to talk about it with us… I am also working with the belief that she has cut off all contact with the OM, her stuff seems to be clean and she voluntarily (sort of) told me the last time she was IC and it checked out as near as I can tell… I can’t control that anyway I either believe or don’t it won’t matter in the end, if she is I will find out eventually and we’re done. I recently started seeing a counselor mostly to work on understanding this new diagnosis of ADD (who’d have thunk after 40 you could learn you have something like that!?) but we also have discussed my home situation and he has proven to be a good sounding board. One thing he suggested (and my wife’s therapist agreed and thought it was the right move) was to put off discussing the relationship until a specific date, just to take the heat off so we don’t feel like we “have” to be talking about where we are going all of the time. We went with the end of March so until then we are supposed to be working on our own stuff. That conversation in March is supposed to be short and simple 3 choices, we either pick another date a couple of months out because one or both of us still has individual stuff to work on, agree to go back to marriage counseling or the last one is we’re done. Gunny, I have taken to heart some of the readings you suggested and they have been eye opening for me. I still have no idea how this is going to shake out and honestly I am working on NOT trying to predict a final outcome. I am still wrestling inside on how much contact to have with her, afraid of continuing to push her away by limited contact and equally still ticked and not sure if contact is the right way to go (she is sending me mixed signals as well, wants more attention and then tends to shun it when I try to give it), want to keep my family together but not just for the sake of the kids want it because it’s right for both of us and we can have the kind of loving relationship that I deserve. If that’s not possible then, pick up and move on….

[carhill]

February 7, Super Bowl Sunday. I can hear the party in a certain basement in Kentucky from here. Keep up the good work

[mimidarlin]

Gunny,

There was a time where I would have thought you a MCP for some of your comments above. I have come to truly understand how men and women think very differently. I am trying to understand my role in my marital problems.

 

I think and feel to much. So, I over analyze things and try to apply logic to situations. What I have trouble identifying is the role that my emotions play in my behavior. Looking back I can see how those emotions played a bigger part in my actions. I thought it was logic. I didn't feel appreciated or valued. My anger caused me to lash out verbally.

 

Over the years I had become better at editing my comments but with the separation I feel the poison coming out of my mouth. This poison isn't really affecting him...just makes him withdraw more. Unfortunately it makes me focus on the negative and relive things that I don't want to think about. The attitude is poisoning my soul. Reading your comments about the wife who is demanding and critical of everything helps me to try and take a step back. Try to see things from his point of view.

[mimidarlin]

Confused,

I don't know if you want a reconciliation with your wife. It doesn't seem like it but maybe you could suggest that she do some reading and personal reflection. Maybe she should read mars and venus. No one is perfect but you were trying to meet her needs by being a provider and a protector. This is how you saw your role and maybe you neglected appealing to her emotional side. I'm realizing that this isn't easy for most men. You're in an uncomfortable situation and it doesn't seem like you have an exit. I think you were being darkly sarcastic about how to tell your boys. I recommend that you both be honest but not brutally honest. I think your wife should have to tell your boys what she did but you should own up to contributing to the marriage falling apart. Your children deserve honesty. Many may disagree with me but children will see through your lies.

 

Best of luck

[confusedinky]

Carhill, my team is playing this year so I am ready to go!!!

 

Mimi, I am not sure what I want at this point, I want the "dream" of things being like they were before this whole nightmare started, but I know you can never go back. If we do stay together it has to be different then before, it's the new reality. I was of course being very sarcastic about what to tell the kids, they are too young to understand what an affair is and honestly I have to own up to my contribution to the affair as well (emotional neglect although I didn't know it at the time and her response to it is completely inexcusable). We basically told them that we had some grown up things that we were working on, it had nothing to do with them and we both loved them. My oldest has had some questions a couple of times and my wife told him that she has made some mistakes, and is working with a doctor to help her understand things that happened when she was little (again I don't feel comfortable talking about her stuff but it's deep). I don't know if they ever need to know what she did, at the end of the day she is still their mother and I don't think it would be fair for either of them to lose that no matter she or I do.

[Gunny376]

MCP indeed!

 

I understand women much more than women understand than themselves! That's because I understand that there's no understanding women!

 

They're all the same, and they're all DIFFERENT!

 

It all comes down to? Do you want to be right? Are do you want to be happy?

[You Go Girl]

Gunny--you're a hoot. You're also a wee bit, no, alot, biased, lol

As a woman I have to say--since when do we all have to make sure that we still got it?

I'm 46 and I could give a carp if somebody thinks I got it still or not. I believe I got IT--and IT ain't making sure that I am attractive to men unless I so desire to play with that toyish game.

Now, from the other side of the fence--many men believe that we women have to work on still got it forever and a day. Dress sexy, be agreeable, work out, be agreeable, cook and clean, be agreeable...make sex like a porn star, be agreeable...you get the idea.

 

Now I'm in the basement. H doesn't want to change. H doesn't want to get the counseling he needs. Yes, the OP still has feelings, and kids at home, but he has to take care of his self respect first, or he won't have feelings worth a carp and his kids won't respect him either, never mind mentioning the w.

Keep it up OP...and it's going to take 6 months or more...or when your heart says that's it.

but you don't need to read phone logs to know. You will know in your heart if she ever realizes the extent of the damage she has done to the marriage. She will come to you with finally sincere honest remorse.

Even if she hasn't spoken to the OM, if she hasn't had the true honest remorse--atonement--then she is just on a dry drunk spell. (and it will happen again)

So proof or no proof of her activities--the proof is in her awakening to the damage she has done, and finally, sincere remorse.

Something H isn't going to give me...I hope you have better luck.

[BearMox]

sometimes moving into a different room is counted legally as moving out, or the "date of separation". However, it does keep you free of any abandonment complications that might arise in a custody dispute.

 

personally I feel its best to stand your ground and sleep in your own bed. stbxw moved into the piano room, and then one of the kids beds. she got nasty trying to get the master bed, to which I replied "the bed is half yours, you are welcome to sleep in it any time. Just know that I'll be sleeping there too"

 

seemed to do the trick

[hopesndreams]

sometimes moving into a different room is counted legally as moving out, or the "date of separation". However, it does keep you free of any abandonment complications that might arise in a custody dispute.

 

personally I feel its best to stand your ground and sleep in your own bed. stbxw moved into the piano room, and then one of the kids beds. she got nasty trying to get the master bed, to which I replied "the bed is half yours, you are welcome to sleep in it any time. Just know that I'll be sleeping there too"

seemed to do the trick

 

THAT I agree with. Just hate it when those that want out of the M get the upper hand.

 

Even though the basement is all set up all nice and purty and you have all the creature comforts down there, it is still the basement.

[confusedinky]

Bear… trust me I thought long and hard about moving downstairs before I did. I first found out about the emotional part of the affair back in April, didn’t find out it had been physical until October, didn’t move to the basement until December. My therapist described my staying in the master as “schizophrenic” and honestly my sleep was horrible and I didn’t like being in the same room as her. So even though I was the one that moved I feel I had to for my own sanity (and again all of my fun stuff is down here anyway, I wouldn’t have had a good place for it if I moved her in here, and trust me I need some fun now!). In KY no sexual relations for 6 months counts as a separation room or not.

 

Girl… she has shown some remorse, but I don’t think it’s true remorse because she always includes a way to blame me for her infidelity (I basically get, I am sorry I hurt you, never wanted to hurt anyone, I didn’t think I would ever do anything like that, it just got away from me and it made me feel so alive, because you ignored me). So like you I am not holding out hope, I have tried to be receptive to my role in this but like you also need to see some remorse or goal of putting us back together if that’s what we decide is best. Instead what I get is she doesn’t think I can or will ever forgive her so what’s the point, sometimes she tries to deflect by saying if I would look in my heart I would see that I never really loved her (not true), or this gem, “of course I want to try to work this out, that’s why I am still here.” She claims I am supposed to woo her back but she is unreceptive to my advances/efforts which in turn just pushes me back into the hole.

 

Gunny…. MCP is the last thing you are!!

 

I did make the mistake of talking about our relationship last week after I posted, asked her why she was being so short with me, and she asked me if I really wanted to talk about it, made the mistake of saying yes. Bottom line is she claims to not be in contact with him but it hasn’t changed her feelings about me (loves me… not “in” love with me), and that she has treated me like this for years because I annoy her and maybe now I am just starting to notice. Real pleasant conversation as you can see…. So I am moving forward with preparing the house for sale, I don’t know how long I am supposed to wait….

 

On another note, overheard my son tell a friend of his (whose parents are divorced), that his parents will NEVER get divorced… (Ugh).

Edited February 8, 2010 by confusedinky

[floridapad]

 

Girl… she has shown some remorse, but I don’t think it’s true remorse because she always includes a way to blame me for her infidelity (I basically get, I am sorry I hurt you, never wanted to hurt anyone, I didn’t think I would ever do anything like that, it just got away from me and it made me feel so alive, because you ignored me). So like you I am not holding out hope, I have tried to be receptive to my role in this but like you also need to see some remorse or goal of putting us back together if that’s what we decide is best. Instead what I get is she doesn’t think I can or will ever forgive her so what’s the point, sometimes she tries to deflect by saying if I would look in my heart I would see that I never really loved her (not true), or this gem, “of course I want to try to work this out, that’s why I am still here.” She claims I am supposed to woo her back but she is unreceptive to my advances/efforts which in turn just pushes me back into the hole.

 

 

Bottom line is she claims to not be in contact with him but it hasn’t changed her feelings about me (loves me… not “in” love with me), and that she has treated me like this for years because I annoy her and maybe now I am just starting to notice. Real pleasant conversation as you can see…. So I am moving forward with preparing the house for sale, I don’t know how long I am supposed to wait….

 

On another note, overheard my son tell a friend of his (whose parents are divorced), that his parents will NEVER get divorced… (Ugh).

 

Beach. You and I are in very similar situations. The true remorse takes time and will not come for quite some time ( In some case years). Can you handle that? Your wife is sayng the same stuff as mine, yet she doesn't want a divorce. Forgiveness for you will come and sometimes the only way she can see that is through your actions and not your words. How often do your serious conversations turn towards the affair? Have you read the five love languages? I know you love her but she doesn't think you did because perhaps you were not touching on her love lanquage? I always loved my wife but looking back I did not care for her the way she needed. WTF did I know about long term relationships. I also got the "I was annoyed by you" lecture as well. I just listened and agreed with her. I let her know that I see it. She even said that she can't help lashing out at me because of all the years built up. OK I said. That's not my problem anymore. That's yours. I have seen my ways and if she can't get past it then we will move on. All you can really do is listen right now, and try to better yourself. The more you counter point her the more annoying you become. There really is nothing to gain by trying to argue her side of the demise...right now. She needs to vent and see change. Once she is done with that and you have truly changed for yourself and avoid love busting her for many months, THEN you can approach her side of the downfalls in the relationship.

 

It is a long haul. Such a long haul. Consistency and time.

[confusedinky]

Hey all I haven't posted in some time and am feeling really down. Wife is in FLA for spring break with her mom and the kids and the alone time has let my mind wander. FLA Pad... on your advice I read the 5 Love Languages and found it interesting, I knew from the get go what her language was and feel I have been working that one (to the best of my ability) for the full time of our marriage, apparently however it's never enough. I also know I am love busting, I can't seem to help but to bring up the affair when we really talk about what's going on... I have convinced myself it's because she is still being decietful about it and is still in contact, I am sure that there is no possibility for us to ever be a couple again while they are still in contact with each other. I am sure (without a doubt) that she is still in contact (albeit limited) with the OM and she is still lying about it. In a conversation we had before they left she told me that she was O.K. with our current living arrangement and thought we should stick it out a while longer while she sorts through her feelings and continues with her therapy. Her counselor has told her that she is not capable of handling marriage therapy right now with her personal therapy at this point and just needs to focus on herself before she can work on the marriage (she had a fairly horrendous childhood that she is dealing with for the first time, unlike mine which was fairly normal). I am O.K. with waiting this out but NOT while "he" is still floating around out there. When they get back next weekend I am finally ready to put my foot down and put the house on the market. She has actually offered to get her own place and said she would find a way to still commit funds to keep the house but I don't want anything from her, would rather sell and downsize. I know this is kind of rambling but I am so pissed right now and still very confused, why can't she really work on this? Why does she continue to lie to me when all I have ever asked for is the truth? I just have to accept it's over.....

[nobmagnet]

welcome back,

 

Im sorry your situation is still the same........if not worse:mad:

 

I beleive you need to really find out if she is still intouch with OM. Maybe that will be the decision maker for you instead of speculating get some hard facts. Confont her with them if she is.

 

Its been quite some time to be living as you are.....in limbo.

 

((hugs))

 

Nobby xx

[hopesndreams]

I just have to accept it's over.....

 

Good! You've suffered enough. Time to get out there and live a shiny new life!

[confusedinky]

Thanks hopes!

 

nob- I am 100% sure she is, this whole situation has made me quite the detective, I wasn't sure before this AM but am sure now... gotta keep on moving. I guarantee when I confront her she'll deny it and lie and honestly I am over that part of the drama. I could produce evidence but am not proud of how I got it and would rather just tell her I know and move forward.

[You Go Girl]

Don't tell her you know.

Don't even mention the OM.

Just be cryptic and say, So, I guess you do want the divorce then?

She'll say -What makes you think or say that?

Don't answer. Just announce that you are ready to put the house on the market, or if you decide to keep it, announce that you are ready for her to move out.

And DO have her pay half the bills or as close to half as possible. There's no reason to give her one stinking penny she didn't earn.

Do remember that in this economy selling a house at a decent price is nearly impossible.

She must also suffer half the loss if when you go to the closing table you have to write a check instead of receive one.

Encourage her to move out, but the kids aren't going anywhere.

Judge will side with you more often than not if you can afford to keep the house, keep the kids in the same school, same house, as little adjustment as possible for them.

Things to consider.

[Gunny376]

Don't tell her you know.

Don't even mention the OM.

Just be cryptic and say, So, I guess you do want the divorce then?

She'll say -What makes you think or say that?

Don't answer. Just announce that you are ready to put the house on the market, or if you decide to keep it, announce that you are ready for her to move out.

And DO have her pay half the bills or as close to half as possible. There's no reason to give her one stinking penny she didn't earn.

Do remember that in this economy selling a house at a decent price is nearly impossible.

She must also suffer half the loss if when you go to the closing table you have to write a check instead of receive one.

Encourage her to move out, but the kids aren't going anywhere.

Judge will side with you more often than not if you can afford to keep the house, keep the kids in the same school, same house, as little adjustment as possible for them.

Things to consider.

 

Yours is the ever elusive mind I've been trying to understand?

[Gunny376]

Gunny,

There was a time where I would have thought you a MCP for some of your comments above. I have come to truly understand how men and women think very differently. I am trying to understand my role in my marital problems.

 

I think and feel to much. So, I over analyze things and try to apply logic to situations. What I have trouble identifying is the role that my emotions play in my behavior. Looking back I can see how those emotions played a bigger part in my actions. I thought it was logic. I didn't feel appreciated or valued. My anger caused me to lash out verbally.

 

Over the years I had become better at editing my comments but with the separation I feel the poison coming out of my mouth. This poison isn't really affecting him...just makes him withdraw more. Unfortunately it makes me focus on the negative and relive things that I don't want to think about. The attitude is poisoning my soul. Reading your comments about the wife who is demanding and critical of everything helps me to try and take a step back. Try to see things from his point of view.

 

What's an MCP?

[Gunny376]

Never mind! MCP?

 

Male Chauvinist Pig!

 

Well, well.............., well! Your a "Femin-nazi!"

 

So there!

[confusedinky]

I am with you gunny! I have never been very good at being cryptic, and my wife is even worse at allowing me to be so, I am thinking just lay it out there and tell her what's what. My son's birthday is this weekend and I am going to wait until next week to do it, no need to cast a cloud over his day.

[confusedinky]

This is probably a mistake and honestly I may just be writing this to feel better. But after I tell the wife that I want out, I am thinking about writing a letter to the OM, I really feel like this whole thing needs to be out in the open, I have been covering up for my wife for a year now in hopes of reconciliation, and after reading others on here it seems that exposure is the only real option. So here's my first draft.... is it a dumb idea?

 

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I have been debating writing this to you for over a year now but felt you needed to know some of the repercussions of your actions. Attached you will find a photograph of my 2 boys; they mean the world to me. I always knew when I got married and had children that I would do everything to bring them up to be honest, trustworthy people and to do that I would raise them in a stable home environment. I have worked my hardest to do just that and contrary to what you may have heard have been fairly successful at it. I never in a million years dreamed I would be living in this hell that you have had a hand in creating. I am the first to admit that I was unable to love Anna in a way that was meaningful to her (or else we would’t be in this mess), that being said I did love her to the best of my ability and thought she was doing the same. But now I don't even know this woman that I was so in love with. Because of your (and her) selfish behavior Anna and I will miss ½ of our boy’s lives as they are moved between our 2 homes. I will not be there to tuck them into bed every night, to have dinner with them after a long day at school, or be the one who gets to read a bedtime story. Being a lifelong bachelor with no children you can’t even begin to fathom the pain this causes me. I don’t know if Anna has told you this (I doubt it because her capability to lie has blown me away) but I have read a good number of the emails that you 2 have sent back and forth to each other over the course of the last year and a half, and I know that you were a willing participant in covering up her affair. Not only that but I feel you took advantage of a woman who is in the throes of depression and is not making good decisions right now. That makes you a coward and snake, I pray my children never get to meet you because you are not the kind of person I would ever want them around. I am no longer going to cover up for Anna by telling people we are “having problems” I am going to talk about this affair to my friends (and some of yours). I am sure this letter is a waste of time because someone who is capable of having an affair with married women and participates in the cover up (not someone who was just duped by the woman) must have NO morals and so I am confident this won’t mean much to you. But on the small chance you do have some feelings for someone besides yourself I thought you’d like to know. I also hope that I never meet you face to face… I am fairly sure it wouldn’t turn out well. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Run your bike into a tree and die… [/FONT][/sIZE]

[confusedinky]

This is probably a mistake and honestly I may just be writing this to feel better. But after I tell the wife that I want out, I am thinking about writing a letter to the OM, I really feel like this whole thing needs to be out in the open, I have been covering up for my wife for a year now in hopes of reconciliation, and after reading others on here it seems that exposure is the only real option. So here's my first draft.... is it a dumb idea?

 

I have been debating writing this to you for over a year now but felt you needed to know some of the repercussions of your actions. Attached you will find a photograph of my 2 boys; they mean the world to me. I always knew when I got married and had children that I would do everything to bring them up to be honest, trustworthy people and to do that I would raise them in a stable home environment. I have worked my hardest to do just that and contrary to what you may have heard have been fairly successful at it. I never in a million years dreamed I would be living in this hell that you have had a hand in creating. I am the first to admit that I was unable to love Anna in a way that was meaningful to her (or else we would’t be in this mess), that being said I did love her to the best of my ability and thought she was doing the same. But now I don't even know this woman that I was so in love with. Because of your (and her) selfish behavior Anna and I will miss ½ of our boy’s lives as they are moved between our 2 homes. I will not be there to tuck them into bed every night, to have dinner with them after a long day at school, or be the one who gets to read a bedtime story. Being a lifelong bachelor with no children you can’t even begin to fathom the pain this causes me. I don’t know if Anna has told you this (I doubt it because her capability to lie has blown me away) but I have read a good number of the emails that you 2 have sent back and forth to each other over the course of the last year and a half, and I know that you were a willing participant in covering up her affair. Not only that but I feel you took advantage of a woman who is in the throes of depression and is not making good decisions right now. That makes you a coward and snake, I pray my children never get to meet you because you are not the kind of person I would ever want them around. I am no longer going to cover up for Anna by telling people we are “having problems” I am going to talk about this affair to my friends (and some of yours). I am sure this letter is a waste of time because someone who is capable of having an affair with married women and participates in the cover up (not someone who was just duped by the woman) must have NO morals and so I am confident this won’t mean much to you. But on the small chance you do have some feelings for someone besides yourself I thought you’d like to know. I also hope that I never meet you face to face… I am fairly sure it wouldn’t turn out well.

 

Run your bike into a tree and die…