Stay In Contact with Ex or Not? [Long]

[PHMustang2000]

I will try and make this as brief as I can. I dated this girl for 3 1/2 years and they were great. She was abused as a child for 5 years with her biological father. When I dated her I tried to get her to trust me. I had to move away and that changed everything because on the last day I spent with her she tried to commit suicide in front of me by trying to slice her wrists. I calmed her down and told her everything would be OK. She told me to never tell her parents which became a bigger issue later on.

While I have been gone we still have kept in touch. We have gone through phases of not talking. I think 2 months has been the longest. She started to date other guys but found problems with them. They were over before they started. She has now gotten back with her ex (she dated him for 6 years before me and were HS Sweethearts.) While we dated this guy admitted he cheated on her while they were together before. So she is getting back with him because she is out of options. As soon as she announces to this guy that she wants to give it another try, he pops the question and she says it is too soon. She said she has to trust him again which is the advice I have been giving her. So now, my ex's mother finds a receipt for $400 for a ring so when I call them she is also buying a rings. It hurts when I am hearing this "Hey Whats Up" "Oh My mom found a ring and now I am buying one too" Hello its me, your ex - the one who saved your life when you had a weak moment.

My gut instinct about this guy is he is a no good user and he will Use and hurt her. As she is spending her time with him it hurt me and my mood is changed at work and everyone can tell I am in a bad mood. I just don't explain. I have always been a good friend and bf to her and helped her but dealing with this is ruining my whole life now. I am not happy with this. I try to advise her as a friend and tell her to know who you are marrying. She thinks he will per pose on Christmas. That will ruin the holiday for me. I come to hate this year. She said even if he per poses that she will wait around two years to see if he doesn't mess up. I told her you never found out he cheated, he told you. So it will be easier for him to get away with it because you never suspect that he does. Every time I talk to her. I just want to talk to her as a friend but when I know she spends the day with him or talks about it I just want to yell at her for taking back the Cheater BF and even considering marrying the guy.

 

I don't know if I should stay friends to help her make the right choices? Or hang up the phone and not talk to her for awhile? Or Limit Our Conversation to where she doesn't talk about their relationships, just friends? What should I do? Sorry for the long story

[an hero]

She has moved on, you probably should too. I know it hurts to hear, but it is something you've got to accept. If she is happy with her boyfriend now, you have no right to go and interfere with that based on your gut feeling.

 

It appears you still have feelings for her. If this is the case, I would completely cut her out of your life. Staying in contact with her is just going to be too painful.

[imagine]

It appears you still have feelings for her. If this is the case, I would completely cut her out of your life. Staying in contact with her is just going to be too painful.

 

Yep. You are too closely involved with the lady. Refer her to a friend and leave it alone.

 

I can see you guys hooking up and divorcing later.

[bittersweet memories]

Being your old girlfriend must be hard to see she's moved on. I recommend you do the same. Don't butt in her relationship you have no right. She obviously loves this guy so just let her live and learn. You do the same...