jay Posted June 19, 2000 Share Posted June 19, 2000 I am 17 and have a girlfriend that is kind of on and off. She has just come back on and sounds a lot more sincere about changing to suit me better. I can't change any more to suit her. I am everything any one could want. Not saying that to be conceded, I know this because I shape my self to my companions needs even at cost to me. But several times she has left me waiting while she did things that hurt me. While on a trip to europe a few days my chivalrous nuture caught the attention of the girl I had a crush on before I met my present love. She revealed her feelings while we were in europe. This put me in a tuff spot. Not wanting to hurt anyone I asked for time to figure things out. I care alot for both of them. I have a few days to get things right, but don't knnow what to do. I have been told the answer is simple. I really love my girlfriend though. Please give any advice that can be given. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Nick Posted June 19, 2000 Share Posted June 19, 2000 If you love her, then you would not be having this problem. Do not confuse LOVE for LUST. Stick with LOVE I am 17 and have a girlfriend that is kind of on and off. She has just come back on and sounds a lot more sincere about changing to suit me better. I can't change any more to suit her. I am everything any one could want. Not saying that to be conceded, I know this because I shape my self to my companions needs even at cost to me. But several times she has left me waiting while she did things that hurt me. While on a trip to europe a few days my chivalrous nuture caught the attention of the girl I had a crush on before I met my present love. She revealed her feelings while we were in europe. This put me in a tuff spot. Not wanting to hurt anyone I asked for time to figure things out. I care alot for both of them. I have a few days to get things right, but don't knnow what to do. I have been told the answer is simple. I really love my girlfriend though. Please give any advice that can be given. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
jay Posted June 19, 2000 Share Posted June 19, 2000 My problem is not LUST. Sex is not important to me. I am a virgin, and don't care if i stay that way. Link to post Share on other sites
magicklady Posted June 19, 2000 Share Posted June 19, 2000 I think if you have had to change who you are to make someone else happy then it is not really love.. she shouldn't have to change to be with you either. You said that you had been on again and off again with your relationship.. I have one like that with my ex.. but we never can seem to hook up when we both want the same things. Maybe you should try dating someone new and see what develops.. you don't have a past with this girl to constantly think about.. You could start fresh and maybe this girl will be all you ever wanted as well, without either of you having to change.. Good luck either way! Link to post Share on other sites
Wiser Woman Posted June 19, 2000 Share Posted June 19, 2000 I think the problem here is that you don't really know yourself very well. To shape yourself to be something you are not with people has to be a very tiring task. You should be true to yourself if you have any idea what YOU are all about. Trying to be everything a girl could want is only going to cause you pain and heartache because you will never know who YOU are or what you want out of life. You will be constantly trying to be something you may not be and that, eventually, will cause many problems. At 17 your life is still forming and life can and will always change around you. That's why it's important to be who you are, not something you think others want you to be. The fact that you do this and it causes pain or loss to you is not good and it will always allow others to use or mold you to what they think they want out of you as people can tend to do. It will always set you up for heartache because, in my opinion, one of the most attractive qualities I find appealing in a man is that he knows himself, is confident of who he is and not so easily willing to shapeshift into something he's not. You're young and still have a lot of growing to do but soon you will be at that point where you're where you should be - fitting into your own skin. As for the deciding between the two girls, you gave yourself you own answer - you love your girlfriend. If you no longer love her, let her go and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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