Strategies on board!

[Mel001]

The facts:

- I meet a guy just for sex for the last months.

- He is a very bitter guy with bad previous relationships

- He cannot express himself

- We argue very often because he's very cynical and wants to have the last word.

- He doesn't want to be friends with me, he really really doesn't, it's the worst thing that can happen to him, very unnatural.

- He is very cold and ready to explode towards me

- Once I got really mad at him with his behaviour that I deleted him from facebook, he got me online at msn and he was suddenly caring about me and how I feel. That he was there for me if I needed.

- Had sex with him again and he's back to his bad behaviour

- His behaviour stinks towards girls he's involved with. His behaviour is really nice towards girls that he cannot have (girls in other relationships, plus proven when I cut off the contact with him).

 

Wishful thoughts:

- I want to be friends with him because I like him and because I cannot have sex with him without being friends.

 

Strategies - succefull, unsuccessful and not tried yet:

- Have continously argued with him about his behaviour, have told him that I want to get to know him better and talk a little bit. He doesn't want and this pushes him away. Doesn't work

- Argued seriously and deleted him from my contacts and told him I'm with someone else. Suddenly he asks me to go to his place to talk about my problems with the other guy so that I feel better. Suddenly he's all funny and nice and jokes the way I would like him to be. Of course, everything turned back to normal/bad when I had sex with him again.

- I want to get to know him instead of just have sex with him so that we can have a better relationship and have fun instead of jsut sex and argue and hate. So my next thought about how to solve this problem is to take a risk. Tell him that I'm involved with someone else and so I cannot have sex with him (which in a way is true actually - it's just that it is not serious cause the other guy is playing with me). But that I promise to find a girl for him to have fun with. I actually told him that, he was accepting it but he was also sceptical about whether I still like him or not. I actually think that if I try to find a a girl for him, then I can develope a sort of relationship with him that can lead towards friendship.It will also get to show him that I'm not taken for granted. Then if he still wants to have sex with me after a long time, at least we will have developed some sort of friendship, or something, and then it will be a new thing. Also, people say that if you push then you will get more resistance. But if you lay back then the chances that he will warm up to you are higher. Is this true?

 

Risky yes. But how on earth can I make my wishes come true otherwise? Do you think this might work? For me, it's more important the relationship we have between each other than having sex with him. So, if this means that I will never have sex with him again but still develop a friendship then I'm up for it. But the opposite makes me feel very bad.

 

p.s. I'm not looking for posts/replies such as "don't open your legs so soon, that's what you get". I know it allready. Provide something new instead?

p.s.2 I'm not looking for posts/replies such as "you're mean and cunning, this kind of strategies will get you nowhere". Everyone has wishes, everyone wants to achieve them, a good engineer like me loves strategies that helps them solve the problems. Nothing is unsolvable

p.s.3 No I don't want to go for someone else. I'm not in love with him. I just want to have a nice contact with him. He doesn't leave me in peace and this is why at least I want itto be nice.

 

Thanks in advance! I'm all ears Please don't bash me. If this is how you feel then please don't reply...Have a nice day and holidays!