sunnie23 Posted December 21, 2003 Share Posted December 21, 2003 i am so confused right now. i dated a guy for about a month, two weeks ago he told me he didn't have "that feeling" and we should just be friends. i agreed for the most part, though i do have "that feeling," i never let it on to him. so, that was that. until thursday when he dicided to drop by my work to say hi. we chatted, like friends, except that i was leaning on a clothing rack, and he put his arm on it to so his fingers were touching mine. i withdrew, andl i told him i had to get back to my job so he'd leave, as this all caught me very much by surprise. tonight i went out to the bar with my friends. he was there. chatting up a girl in the corner. so i figure, ok this tells me he's into other people, don't think anything of him coming into my work... then my friend runs up to me, and tells me that he grabbed her and asked her to take him to me, because he really wanted to talk to me. i follow her to where he is, and we make small talk. as this happens he puts his arm around me and holds me to him. now i'm getting upset, though i'm hiding it, because i do really like him and i feel like hes toying with me. so i tell him i going to find my friends and he says ok, looks at me and kisses my neck. i move my head away as it seemed he was going to kiss my lips, and he kisses my neck again. i told him he was crossing the line and walked away. after that, it seemed like everywhere i was, he was in close proximity, with a different girl. at one point i was at the back of the room talking to a friend, when he came up and said good bye, and gave me a hug....a looong hug. he told me he'd call me this week and that was it. until like ten minutes later when i turn around and see him just kind of standing behind me with his friends. he says goodbye again, and walks away. fianlly, at the end of the night, the bar was closing and i was talking to another friend, when he walks by AGAIN with another girl. he stops and stands right near me, glancing at me from time to time, talking to her. then he said goodbye and left at the same time we did. i'm extremely confused...everyone keeps telling me that guys are simple and there's no mixed messages, but i don't understand this at all. the bar i was at tonight is huge, it was weird that i even saw him in the first place, let alone every fifteen minutes. is there any meaning behind this? or am i digging too deep? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 21, 2003 Share Posted December 21, 2003 I could be wrong, but I'm not: Interested in Love? No. Interested in Relationship? No. Interested in Friendship? No. Interested in a lil sex tonight? Sure. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 From what you've written, I'd say that this guy is still interested in you and possibly feels like he's made a mistake. Take things slow until you really know what's going on. It might be best to even just ask him straight up what he's up to. I've heard also that guys are not into giving mixed messages, but most guys I know really don't know what they are doing, and end up sending out mixed messages. Link to post Share on other sites
DragonflyX Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 *** so confused right now. i dated a guy for about a month, two weeks ago he told me he didn't have "that feeling" and we should just be friends. i agreed for the most part, though i do have "that feeling," i never let it on to him.*** If you want to be in a relationship with him why didn't you want him to kiss you or put his arm aroung you? It seems like you are the one exhibiting confusing behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
d1410 Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 ** If you want to be in a relationship with him why didn't you want him to kiss you or put his arm aroung you? It seems like you are the one exhibiting confusing behavior. *** because he told her after they had dated that he just wanted to be friends and he didn't have those "feelings" for her. I would ask him straight out what he wants, ie. a relationship or a friendship. Sounds like he is either confused about how he feels or he is playing games for attention. Either way, it's seems pretty immature to me. d Link to post Share on other sites
DragonflyX Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 If a woman puts her arms around me and kisses me I am pretty sure I know what she wants even if she told me she didn't a week before. Actions speak louder than words. If you are getting what you wished for why complain about it? Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Because he can't mess around like that..tell her one thing and then do another. I agree that actions do speak louder than words, but situations like these need to be communicated or else someone will get hurt from the misunderstandings. Link to post Share on other sites
d1410 Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 What if he is just a big tease or just wants to have sex?? If someone told me they just wanted to be friends and then changed the next week without an explanation, I'd be confused too. d Link to post Share on other sites
DragonflyX Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Guys are SIMPLE to understand. No matter what he said before it appears that he has come to his senses. Just ASK him. You say you are attracted to him but spurn two of his attempts to be affectionate on two different occasions. Just think how confusing you are to him. Link to post Share on other sites
d1410 Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 ***Just think how confusing you are to him.*** Oh Please!! I guess she's supposed to read the guy's mind and figure out that he wants the same thing as her just because he kissed her in a bar. Simple, maybe. communicative....not so much. d Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 I agree with d1410. How is a girl supposed to know what the guy wants when he tells her one thing and does another? yes, she said she's attracted to him but she's not stupid. She's not going to fall for his actions, because she already did that once and fell for it and then got hurt when he told her he didn't have the same feelings. If he wants her back, he should be direct about it instead of beating around the bush. If you put your finger through fire once to see that it burns, are you going to try it again just to see if it's different the second time around? Link to post Share on other sites
xloudandnoisy Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 it seems like it may be one of two things. either, he's so-called "player" and is not worth a second of your time. either that, or he's trying to make you jealous, and possibly like him more when you see him with other girls. he seems a little odd regardless, but of course, i don't know him. Link to post Share on other sites
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