ms.ac Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 So I broke not contact after 3 weeks of not talking to him.. I missed him and started to get the urge to call him because i hated the way things ended and wanted to clear my head and start the new year fresh, but instead it was a mess. When i called I said sorry for everything i ever did which was not much but i said I knew he had done some really horrible things to me but i knew i had to forgive him before i could move on. Instead of it going good he took it as a way to make me feel worse and shove his new girlfriend in my face. I don't get why. He went on and on for about an hour telling me how great they were, how he bought her expensive things, and they were things he was supposed to buy me, telling me he doesnt think about me because she is his life 24/7.. she is divorced and has a 6 and a half year old kid, that he is so happy and he could care less about me. He shoved in my face that he is going to miami with her for new years and a dolphins game, that if we both needed his help he would help her and not me, just everything to hurt me, why would he try to make me feel like this, i called him but he didnt answer and he called me back to tell me all of this, When he said he didnt care i said you obviously do because why would you call me back? why would you feel the need to say mean things and try to make me jealous? If you really didnt care you wouldnt have answered or called back at all, there would be no need to put me down and shove things in my face... I can't deal with all of this, I just hate that he can just pick someone up after 5 yrs and give them everything and leave me hanging.. any thoughts?? Help please, i know i have to get over this and need to go no contact for the rest of my life.. but it hurts... this was my first love and it ended so bad and i hate having to live with this.. he says its different for me cuz im not his first love ... read my first post for the whole story,, i know i did a bad thng by calling... but my heart got the best of me Link to post Share on other sites
singlegirl Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 You didn't do a bad thing....Youre heart forgot the pain he had inflicted on it...You have learned a lesson that will help you in your life. You have lost nothing..... He never answered the phone because he was caught on the hop....if he had picked up then he wouldn't have had the time to get his story straight and mean enough. Do you really want a guy who is capable of this cruelty? You have lost nothing..... Things end badly because they end...Try to forgive yourself and move past this. It will hurt for a while but you can do NC. You did great for 3 weeks..I am doing NC as the one I was with was messing with my head and my heart..I firmly believe if he had ever loved me he would be outside right now like fred Flintstone banging down my door begging for forgiveness...No one's knocking, I know the truth and it hurts like hell Time will help us both 1 Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 I have no words of wisdom, but wanted to offer you both hugs. Tomorrow will be three weeks for me since our last telephone conversation. Friday will be three weeks since the last email. SingleGirl you nailed it - I want him to be banging on my door! Ms AC we need to recognize that they checked out way before we did - that's how he can be so cruel, because he truly is a heartless idiot who hasn't been invested in his feelings for you for a long time. We need to accept this - I know I haven't yet. I tell this to myself everyday - it's just not sinking in yet (I'm very thickheaded). No instead I sing sappy love songs about broken hearts to myself and cry (ugh what a loser!). However when not being emotional - it is crystal clear to me that it must be true - he must have checked out forever ago - otherwise why would he just say I'm sorry and ok when I told him I could not continue this way? Why wouldn't he say he would change? He would try? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 You didn't do a bad thing....Youre heart forgot the pain he had inflicted on it...You have learned a lesson that will help you in your life. You have lost nothing..... He never answered the phone because he was caught on the hop....if he had picked up then he wouldn't have had the time to get his story straight and mean enough. Do you really want a guy who is capable of this cruelty? You have lost nothing..... Things end badly because they end...Try to forgive yourself and move past this. It will hurt for a while but you can do NC. You did great for 3 weeks..I am doing NC as the one I was with was messing with my head and my heart..I firmly believe if he had ever loved me he would be outside right now like fred Flintstone banging down my door begging for forgiveness...No one's knocking, I know the truth and it hurts like hell Time will help us both I know... I agree with you.. it just hurts so bad, I feel like I can't face that he is with someone else, and after 5 years could care less about me. Nothing makes sense to me. I just can't stop asking questions and wondering how he could drop me for this girl, and I understand that it is all new and exciting right now, even though he says it is different with her and they are going to be together and whatever else, he hasn't changed so she will probably have to deal with the same things i did, it is just so hard to face everyday and know my best friend is no longer there and that he has chosen someone else over me... if you read my first post it was a cruel situation he put me in, and I want him to regret this so bad but I'm afraid he won't, if I could just understand what happened and how this happened, and how he could have so much anger towards me and put this new girl in front of me... I know that I have to be strong but it is really hard to picture my life without him and his family in it. I wish I could just knock some sense into him and he would magically stop doing all of this and realize what he lost, but that is impossible and by me calling him I have prolonged my healing and prolonged their relationship by adding fuel to the fire. How do you move forward.. I can't picture my life with anyone else, and I know that he is wrong and cruel and I deserve better, everyone says it but what they don't understand is that I love him, it doesnt matter if I deserve better it doesn't make me hurt any less... sorry I'm venting... Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 You are not venting, your are emoting. You have every right, and frankly I totally understand! I dated this man for 5.5 years when EVERYONE, including my LS friends, told me I deserved better - and right now I only wish he would realize how much he misses me and come runnig back! I totally get it. So instead of calling/texting/emailing him - post here. We are here for eachother. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 why would he try to make me feel like this So that you never call again. Get the hint and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) why would he try to make me feel like this So that you never call again. Get the hint and move on. ok... i guess you could see it that way. but why would he call back in the first place. you obviously don't know the typical a-hole. He loves attention and loves to be wanted. He may actually not want to ever talk to me again but I honestly believe he feels power by this whole situation. No one stays on the phone with someone for an hour justifying their relationship with someone else to their ex... it makes him feel good to know that I still care and he has the upper hand on everything, even if he doesn't care nor want to be with me, I don't want to be with him, I just want him to regret it.. i think he made a huge mistake... have you been in this situation, perhaps the rebound girlfriend that sees the ex as "psycho" or the person who is trying to get rid of there ex??? or is this how you dealt with a similar situation?? just curious.. some advice on how to get past it would be great Edited December 22, 2009 by ms.ac Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 You are not venting, your are emoting. You have every right, and frankly I totally understand! I dated this man for 5.5 years when EVERYONE, including my LS friends, told me I deserved better - and right now I only wish he would realize how much he misses me and come runnig back! I totally get it. So instead of calling/texting/emailing him - post here. We are here for eachother. Thank you. Everything just seems so crazy. Does your ex have another gf? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 why would he try to make me feel like this So that you never call again. Get the hint and move on. by the way.. read my first thread about the whole situation, you will get a better understanding of everything that went down and how selfish he is... the whole thing still seems insane to me Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) by the way.. read my first thread about the whole situation, you will get a better understanding of everything that went down and how selfish he is... the whole thing still seems insane to me I don’t need to read it, I've read it on here a thousand and fifty times. You're not the first girl to be treated like crap by a guy. I'm not trying to make you feel bad here but none of that matters. It just proves you stayed with the guy way to long. If he's selfish why are you still calling him? Seriously just move on and stop all contact because he wants nothing to do with you. It doesn’t mean it’s fair and that you deserve that kind of treatment but you’re still asking for it by contacting someone who told you that you don’t matter to them. It's the harsh reality of a breakup. The day I realized that about my ex is the day I started to get my life back together and started getting over my breakup. Edited December 22, 2009 by Ilovecake Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 I don’t need to read it, I've read it on here a thousand and fifty times. You're not the first girl to be treated like crap by a guy. I'm not trying to make you feel bad here but none of that matters. It just proves you stayed with the guy way to long. If he's selfish why are you still calling him? Seriously just move on and stop all contact because he wants nothing to do with you. It doesn’t mean it’s fair and that you deserve that kind of treatment but you’re still asking for it by contacting someone who told you that you don’t matter to them. It's the harsh reality of a breakup. The day I realized that about my ex is the day I started to get my life back together and started getting over my breakup. Ilovecake has a point here. Definitely don't contact that jerk again. It sounds to me that he doesn't love his new girlfriend either. Love is not boastful. If he really was in love..he'd be more humble. Hell, if he was a genuinely good guy at all he'd be humble! See it for what it was. Your ex has a serious lack of sensitivity and that is the person the new lady is getting. Don't think for a minute that the new relationship will last either. The guy needs some down time to figure how to be in a mature partnership because he doesn't know how. Link to post Share on other sites
singlegirl Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 I have to agree witht the last post. All i did was drop off his shirt. I didn't even knock the door and got a text requesting i drop the lovely bottle of wine he left for him to enjoy over the christmas period ......then he added, perhaps on your next trip? He meant to hurt me and I did not respond, nor shall I ever respond...he checked out two weeks ago and i felt it that's why i dumped him. he wanted to downgrade the relationship somewhat but wasn't ready to leave quite yet. he never thought I would dump him tho....I may be slow but I'm not a schmuck Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 Ilovecake has a point here. Definitely don't contact that jerk again. It sounds to me that he doesn't love his new girlfriend either. Love is not boastful. If he really was in love..he'd be more humble. Hell, if he was a genuinely good guy at all he'd be humble! See it for what it was. Your ex has a serious lack of sensitivity and that is the person the new lady is getting. Don't think for a minute that the new relationship will last either. The guy needs some down time to figure how to be in a mature partnership because he doesn't know how. i agree... i'm mad at myself for contacting him, it was my intention to smooth things over let him know I'm fine and don't want any problems between us that i am moving on and want to start the new year fresh and it turned into a chance for him to feel more powerful and wanted. It was a mistake because i am still weak and he got the best of me because he knows how. I agree with everything your saying it is just harder to feel that way. It is hard to hear him giving her everything and going on vacation with her but to me, him telling me this is strange and either a way to knock me down or validate his relationship because there should be no reason to shove it in my face when he did the dumping and he has caused all of the pain for me. Either way I know he is a jerk and calling only hurts me at this point. I just hope i didn't ruin any chances of him regretting it when all is said and done. I want him too because i know when he does it will be bitter sweet for me. Now my problem is getting on with my life without everything haunting me.. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 i agree... i'm mad at myself for contacting him, it was my intention to smooth things over let him know I'm fine and don't want any problems between us that i am moving on and want to start the new year fresh and it turned into a chance for him to feel more powerful and wanted. It was a mistake because i am still weak and he got the best of me because he knows how. I agree with everything your saying it is just harder to feel that way. It is hard to hear him giving her everything and going on vacation with her but to me, him telling me this is strange and either a way to knock me down or validate his relationship because there should be no reason to shove it in my face when he did the dumping and he has caused all of the pain for me. Either way I know he is a jerk and calling only hurts me at this point. I just hope i didn't ruin any chances of him regretting it when all is said and done. I want him too because i know when he does it will be bitter sweet for me. Now my problem is getting on with my life without everything haunting me.. Yes, it is hard. It has been difficult for me to have my nutty ex try to win me back only to go back to his fiancee' again last week. But always remember that WE ARE LUCKY!! Our exes have these ladies they don't really love at all. They are being used to brush egos and that's pretty much it. If he loved her truly he wouldn't need to brag to you..all he wants is to get you red in the face and burst out as a green-eyed monster. I had a different signature that read,"The best revenge is to not give a damn." Do it. Show him that you are independent, confident, strong, beautiful and like no other woman he has ever known in his lifetime. Other women like the play footsie and go chasing their exes obsessively around oak trees. REAL WOMEN move on with their life, hobbies, friends, job, college and/or families. Stick to NC, don't wuss out. He's the wuss anyway...let him prove himself wrong. You deserve nothing but to be put on a pedestal. Link to post Share on other sites
Kantor Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 . I had a different signature that read,"The best revenge is to not give a damn." Do it. Show him that you are independent, confident, strong, beautiful and like no other woman he has ever known in his lifetime. This is what is going on in my life, and its effective. I still think about her from time to time. Just my $0.02, that works. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 This is what is going on in my life, and its effective. I still think about her from time to time. Just my $0.02, that works. Exactly, Kantor. It's working too well for me. When he dumped his fiancee' SHE called him first after one day & said they had to follow thru with the wedding because, "she put a lot of work into it." Yea...that's a reason to get married. And even though we work together, I conduct NC everyday. My ex has ALWAYS been the one to text, call & e-mail me first and I respond very collected and cordial. I don't fake it or act like I hate him. Just like any co-worker, I treat him with respect and kindness...far more than he deserves. My friends say it's BECAUSE I am not holding on to his ankles or begging on my hands and knees is the reason my ex keeps trying to stay in contact. I am acting like I never had before...with strength and integrity. I save my tears for my pillow at night and even THAT hasn't happened in a couple of days straight! Link to post Share on other sites
Kantor Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I am acting like I never had before...with strength and integrity. I save my tears for my pillow at night and even THAT hasn't happened in a couple of days straight! This is good to hear =) Every day further is another day stronger for all of us. There is a lot of psychology involved here in what you do, or rather what you don't do. My ex was / is strictly in NC with me after I broke up with her. Granted I tried to mend the waters show the progress I've made etc..etc.. (see my posts if you really want to know my story) for quiet a while I was in the mode of I will do anything to get her back. I know this is because she refused to talk to me. I suffered through the pain and heartbreak of knowing what I had lost. However, I am a glass half full type person and know through my mistakes i will learn to live and love again, and love stronger and truly understand commitment in my future relationships. So in a round about way, this is just more reinforcement to show that yes in fact it does work, and in my case it works well. (at least currently is does) Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 This is good to hear =) Every day further is another day stronger for all of us. There is a lot of psychology involved here in what you do, or rather what you don't do. My ex was / is strictly in NC with me after I broke up with her. Granted I tried to mend the waters show the progress I've made etc..etc.. (see my posts if you really want to know my story) for quiet a while I was in the mode of I will do anything to get her back. I know this is because she refused to talk to me. I suffered through the pain and heartbreak of knowing what I had lost. However, I am a glass half full type person and know through my mistakes i will learn to live and love again, and love stronger and truly understand commitment in my future relationships. So in a round about way, this is just more reinforcement to show that yes in fact it does work, and in my case it works well. (at least currently is does) Oh yes, Kantor. I've read several of your posts before. It is sad to see newer members on here wanting to cave into saving their broken relationships. Some us just happened to be at a stage where the pain is still somewhere in us but our minds are sharp enough to realize that our old relationships are unfixable. We have a bright future waiting that we must keep walking towards. One foot in front of the other and repeat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Oh yes, Kantor. I've read several of your posts before. It is sad to see newer members on here wanting to cave into saving their broken relationships. Some us just happened to be at a stage where the pain is still somewhere in us but our minds are sharp enough to realize that our old relationships are unfixable. We have a bright future waiting that we must keep walking towards. One foot in front of the other and repeat. I have got to be strong like you, I need to tell myself I am better than all of this because i know I am, I wish I hadn't called because now all I think about is how he is giving her all of his time and attention and money and material things, I need to find a way to shake it off and be the stronger person, I feel like just by calling him it opened up a can of worms to make me feel weaker and him stronger, now I have to think about them going on vacation. Not good right now.. but I know it will get better... hopefully soon... Everything happened so fast and it is hard to face that it really happened and is happening, its so hard for people because regardless if we know we deserve better it doesn't erase the fact that we love them and our hearts still hurt, my biggest wish is for him to regret... even if he insists he never will Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I have got to be strong like you, I need to tell myself I am better than all of this because i know I am, I wish I hadn't called because now all I think about is how he is giving her all of his time and attention and money and material things, I need to find a way to shake it off and be the stronger person, I feel like just by calling him it opened up a can of worms to make me feel weaker and him stronger, now I have to think about them going on vacation. Not good right now.. but I know it will get better... hopefully soon... Everything happened so fast and it is hard to face that it really happened and is happening, its so hard for people because regardless if we know we deserve better it doesn't erase the fact that we love them and our hearts still hurt, my biggest wish is for him to regret... even if he insists he never will Thanks for that! TRUST ME! You WILL be strong too. ms. ac...you don't know this but I DO miss my ex tremendously despite the fact that he is a perfectly round a-hole. You won't for awhile. That's because when there is love there,it has to filter out not shut off like a light switch. Your ex wants to pretend like he can but this relationship with the new person won't be genuine either, simply because he is incapable of being that right now. You will feel the love slowly but surely start to fade. Don't force it out, let it pour out. Some days you will feel like a million bucks. Other days you will hide under your covers. Then the latter becomes less and less until you get to a point that you could care less anymore WHO or WHAT he's doing. Wanna bet? Before this ex I am dealing with, I was in a 4 year relationship with a guy and loved him like no other! He left me out of the blue and I SWORE I was gonna die! Swore it. My eyes hurt daily from crying and I had to take a week off from work! I never ever thought I'd fall in love and I can honestly say, I DID. At least three more times where I truly loved and treasured those guys. That particular ex is married with two sons and I am so happy for him! That breakup led me to the other three true loves and other dates that were fine. He is NOT the only man you will ever love. The others are waiting. Your job is to knock the dust off your chaps and get back on that horse and keep heading toward that happy sunset. More than likely;if you show your strength that is, your ex will call, text, e-mail some horse crap and it'll be at a time that you freshly got over him. Seems unfair but that's usually how it happens with me. They comeback AFTER I got over them. Go figure. BTW: That ex that got married? He was one of the few exes who tried to win me back and I said, "No thanks!" Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Thank you. Everything just seems so crazy. Does your ex have another gf? I'm sorry I missed this question. I have no idea if he is seeing anyone else. I would assume not, since he has no money to buy her even a drink. But who knows - maybe he's got it to spend on someone who is not me. Someone we both know apparently saw him last week - and apparently he was gushing about how wonderful our recent vacation (that I paid for) was. Made me cry all over again. UGH Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 Thanks for that! TRUST ME! You WILL be strong too. ms. ac...you don't know this but I DO miss my ex tremendously despite the fact that he is a perfectly round a-hole. You won't for awhile. That's because when there is love there,it has to filter out not shut off like a light switch. Your ex wants to pretend like he can but this relationship with the new person won't be genuine either, simply because he is incapable of being that right now. You will feel the love slowly but surely start to fade. Don't force it out, let it pour out. Some days you will feel like a million bucks. Other days you will hide under your covers. Then the latter becomes less and less until you get to a point that you could care less anymore WHO or WHAT he's doing. Wanna bet? Before this ex I am dealing with, I was in a 4 year relationship with a guy and loved him like no other! He left me out of the blue and I SWORE I was gonna die! Swore it. My eyes hurt daily from crying and I had to take a week off from work! I never ever thought I'd fall in love and I can honestly say, I DID. At least three more times where I truly loved and treasured those guys. That particular ex is married with two sons and I am so happy for him! That breakup led me to the other three true loves and other dates that were fine. He is NOT the only man you will ever love. The others are waiting. Your job is to knock the dust off your chaps and get back on that horse and keep heading toward that happy sunset. More than likely;if you show your strength that is, your ex will call, text, e-mail some horse crap and it'll be at a time that you freshly got over him. Seems unfair but that's usually how it happens with me. They comeback AFTER I got over them. Go figure. BTW: That ex that got married? He was one of the few exes who tried to win me back and I said, "No thanks!" Thank you, I can't wait to get to the point where it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Its so hard near the holidays because I miss his family so much, and I miss him and I hate to think about the other girl taking my spot in his life. I am having such a hard time. Today is a really bad day, some days I think I am better than all of this and then days like today I want my best friend back, I want my family back, and then I start freaking out about the whole thing. And my sister is not helping the situation at all, I know she hates to see me in this situation, she is my twin so i guess that may make it even worse, she has never been in a situation like this. she has a boyfriend, and has never been in another relationship, she gets so mad at me because I am depressed and doesnt understand, she doesnt see it and sometimes thinks im mad because i dont have a boyfriend, it has nothing to do with that.,,, I miss him.. not a boyfriend,, not a relationship... i miss him... im under so much stress and she is not helping.. sorry im venting again... tears will not stop pouring today... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm sorry I missed this question. I have no idea if he is seeing anyone else. I would assume not, since he has no money to buy her even a drink. But who knows - maybe he's got it to spend on someone who is not me. Someone we both know apparently saw him last week - and apparently he was gushing about how wonderful our recent vacation (that I paid for) was. Made me cry all over again. UGH sounds to me like he is not over it either... Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Thank you, I can't wait to get to the point where it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Its so hard near the holidays because I miss his family so much, and I miss him and I hate to think about the other girl taking my spot in his life. I am having such a hard time. Today is a really bad day, some days I think I am better than all of this and then days like today I want my best friend back, I want my family back, and then I start freaking out about the whole thing. And my sister is not helping the situation at all, I know she hates to see me in this situation, she is my twin so i guess that may make it even worse, she has never been in a situation like this. she has a boyfriend, and has never been in another relationship, she gets so mad at me because I am depressed and doesnt understand, she doesnt see it and sometimes thinks im mad because i dont have a boyfriend, it has nothing to do with that.,,, I miss him.. not a boyfriend,, not a relationship... i miss him... im under so much stress and she is not helping.. sorry im venting again... tears will not stop pouring today... You know you've got friends here who understand what you are going through so you know you've got us! Your sister has yet to go through a heartache and you going through this will help her when she needs it and sadly someday she will. Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms.ac Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) You know you've got friends here who understand what you are going through so you know you've got us! Your sister has yet to go through a heartache and you going through this will help her when she needs it and sadly someday she will. Stay strong! Thank you!! So this was a hard week to get through with christmas and everything, I ended up going by his house to see his parents on xmas, I called first to make sure the coast was clear, it was really hard, even talking to his mom on the phone, both of us cried, and then going there both of us cried more, I'm not sure it was the best move but his family means a lot to me and i had presents for his niece's. He didnt spend christmas with his parents being the great son he is and his mom just told me that she has had enough of him. They talked to me about the situation and his dad was telling me he had a talk with him about it and that he didnt like what he had to say, this bothered me because this probably just pushes him to want to be with this girl more and want to rebel more in the wrong he has done, his parents are not happy how he handled things and hate it because they are close to me. His dad said he was going to eventually come running back and it would be too late and his mom said it doesnt matter because you deserve better but of course I still feel horrible about everything because i truly love there son. His neice told me she was ugly lol.. she is 10 and kids are funny but she is also friends with my neice and stood over my sisters house and did stuff with us all weekend. my sister also dropped them off at his house and saw him, he was about to get out of his car but saw her car, put his head down and pretended to look for papers until she left. He talked to my niece about xmas and hearing this all makes me depressed. Its just so hard, and I miss him so much. I also think that he may be looking at me as "psycho" right now for going to his house although he knows how close i was with his family, im sure he tells this new girl i am and I am worried his niece will say things to him because she likes me and doesnt llike what he is doing and this will push him closer to her. His parents dont konw her and his mom says this is definately temporary. It jsut sucks cuz now im going to miss the family again, and I wonder if he is thinking of me because of seeing my family and knowing i was there... and if he is thinking of me in a good way or a bad way.. either way I shouldnt care.. i know.. this is long.. and bothering me now.. i may make this as a thread to see what others think lol Edited December 28, 2009 by ms.ac Link to post Share on other sites
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