Crash and burn

[4givrnt4gtr]

Well, for those of you who have given me advice about my friend, i wanted to let you know how it all ended.

 

So, given that I had decided, as best as I could, that we needed to stop hooking up, when he asked me to join him for a few drinks with his sister I agreed but I told him he was definitely not welcome to come up to my apartment.

 

When he got to my place to pick me up so we could go he came in for a second but we left right away so I was relieved. Well, after his sister's we went to a bar where we met up with other friends. By the end of the night we all walked back to our respective places and when we got to my place i said good night to everyone and began walking to my building. he ofcourse began to follow me so I said "where do you think you're going??" he played it off saying he thought he left something in my place

i told him he didnt and to go home.

 

i was really upset when i got to my place because of other issues and you know with alcohol things are much worse so I started crying in my bed, relieved he had left me alone. Well, right then and there he knocked on my door. I dint know what to do so I ended up opening the door and letting him in. He noticed I was crying so he asked me what was wrong. I told him and he consoled me for a good while.

Afterwards I felt better and we just watched a movie, nothing happened then so i was very glad.

 

Later however he laid down on my bed, saying he was too drunk to drive so he was gonna sleep there. anyway, same old story we lay there for a while, then he pulled me in, stayed there for a long while not doing anything. I thought that was it...he seemed to have fallen asleep like that and so I started falling asleep too. After a while though he started kissing my neck and woke me up. I tried to not move, trying hard to fight the urge to turn around and kiss him but i lost and we ended up hooking up again.

 

this time though it was different. it felt awkward and weird, after he got up to clean up, he came back to bed, laid down facing the wall and ignore me the rest of the night. I felt bad and weird. A couple of hours later he got up and left, saying he had forgotten he was going to see his dad early.

 

So anyway, the next day i was talking to my best friend about it and we both agreed that I needed to talk to him seriously. obviously once alcohol is in the system i cant say no to him, so he really needs to take me seriously when I say that he cant come up. I went online and started chatting with him, telling him i was really 100% serious about it, despite what i wanted because i knew if we kept doing this it was gonna hit the fan.

To my surprised he agreed, saying he couldnt sleep because he felt really bad about the whole thing and thats why he left. I was relieved to hear that so I texted my best friend letting her know what had happened....only...i accidentally send it to him.

 

He received the text as we were talking abd he said "i think u meant this text for your friend....i thought we werent supposed to tell anyone" (Per my request)

I tried to explain that i was so confused i needed advice, though the wording might have seemed harsh (out of context), but he would have none of it. Now he isnt talking to me at all..

So i guess i got what i wanted. In a way I feel bad it had to end this way. I sent him a message later apologizing but telling him i knew it was gonna end up like this so thats why i tried to stop it early. I still assured him I care for his friendship and just left it at that...

 

So yeah...basically play with fire and you get burn...In a way though I think its for the best. We need distance and if this will provide it...so be it....

Edited December 21, 2009 by 4givrnt4gtr