T-Minus Ten Days

[kismet]

Well, I have only 10 days left of uncertainty. I feel more anxiety every minute that passes. Sometimes I will snap at him, lose my temper simply because I am so emotionally volatile. How the hell is he going to be filed for divorce and moved out of his house within the next 10 days! He continues to assure me that it will happen, and I have given up on asking why it has yet to. I'll know for sure soon enough.

 

He knows my frustration, and he listens, comforts, validates, and tells me I have nothing to worry about... but I still have no idea when the actualy filing date will be-- would he actually filin for divorce on the 31st of December?! That's what it's beginning to seem like-- he has assured me it won't be after, but how close is he going to cut it?

 

But he tells me, regularly, how excited he is about us-- our future, all the fun, domestic things he can't wait to do with me. The places he wants to travel together; the things we're going to do with the rest of our lives together. We're in the home stretch, he says, which is, usually, the hardest, with many things.

 

Right now I am so anxiety ridden I can hardly think straight.

 

I think it may be a good idea to refrain from talking to him until he comes to me with what I need to see... any feedback on that thought?

 

Thanks, and even more so as the time approaches.

[Fancy]

Anything is possible, but I still think you should be prepared for the fact that he may not go through with this. He's dragging his heels to say the least. I'd love to be a fly on the wall at his house and see what's really going on.

 

If this is truly what you want, I wish you the best.

[kismet]

Can I just tell you, Fancy, how many times I've wished the same thing-- that I could somehow observe his life and see if the things he's telling me match up with reality!

 

I am doing my best to prepare for anything.

 

Thanks!!

[Fancy]

Kismet, you seem like a bright, intelligent, lovely woman. It saddens me to read your threads (and the many threads similar to yours). I see so many articulate and loving women here who are desparately trying to obtain something that's never going to be. I can completely understand that you love him and feelings of love can make one irrational at times (been there, done that!).

 

I wish that you were able to somehow separate yourself from this situation and read the threads you've posted here and pretend they weren't written by you. If this were me sharing this story, what would you advise? Would you advise me to keep hoping.........to keep living in limbo? Would you tell me that the odds were in my favor that he'd leave his wife? Somehow I don't think you would. I feel that you're blinded by your love for him. I understand that you've set this deadline, but to be honest, Kismet, I have my doubts as to what you'll do if he doesn't file by January 1st. Will you truly end it once and for all as you've said you will? Will you be strong enough to let go? Or will you extend the deadline for 30 day? Or for 6 months?

 

I hope and pray you will be strong and be a woman of your word. If he does indeed fail you and you extend your ultimatum one second longer, you will be showing him that you're a pushover and that he can treat you any way he sees fit. If you have any more contact with him whatsoever after he's broken his word to you, you'll feel worthless and cheap. I can almost guarantee it.

 

Kismet, I'm not saying any of this to be harsh or hurt you. I've followed your story from the beginning and I truly wish you well. Just know that if doesn't leave, you still are a worthy person. We'll be here to lean on.