nobmagnet Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 My list to santa Dearest santa, I would like my ex's knob to drop off as he put it somewhere he shouldnt. I would also like him to get dumped and her to break his heart. I would also like for his new GF to see him for what he is.............a lowlyworm if that at all possible. Also I would like to find a kind, sexy, young, fit bloke to have a meaningless shag with. Ta muchly santa x I think thats quite a good list!! what would yours be???????? Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Dearest Nob, I am afraid that we only deal with working parts. We can assure you that when he inspects his Christmas shorts, he will be looking at a lump of coal. The lady that he visits will have cheer for the neighbour who does not own a lump of coal. I think that you will find that our Ken range of dolls will provide far greater pleasure than what you had intended. It is certainly not our intention to make you a ho, ho, ho! Santa Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 cool!!!!! Dearest santa I have changed my mind. please will you make sure my ex gets syphallis for crimble as its a perfect gift.............one that just keeps giving ta santa Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 soz santa I do seem demanding!! maybe one other thing?? I have been very good Could you make sure that he feels a wee bit alone? I can see the dinner table now.........3 grumpy unpleasant people with silly hats on and putting half a breath into a whistle blower. He has the vision of truth........Christmas past........25 people round the table, lots af laughter, yummy grub, happy giggly kids and more joyous noise from a happy family?? Thats what I am going to have and we always had. ta santa xx Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Nob, We have been looking very closely at your name Nobmagnet and are struggling to find it on the Good List... Santa Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 My Also I would like to find a kind, sexy, young, fit bloke to have a meaningless shag with. Erm, surely you mean multiple meaningless shags Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 hey I have been extreamly good santa!! look the odd dirty dream here and there......the odd bit of wishing a wee bit of unpleasantness there.........I deserve as anne kindly pointed out........multipul meaningless shags!!!!!!!!! hey hon the way I feel thursday might be your lucky night!!!!! DING DONG hahahahah Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 oh dear santa hey im a good woman/girl am I wrong? hey all the lovely peeps on LS deseve a great crimble???? i beleive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 so do theyxxxxxxxxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Ok, I'll play! Dear Santa, I want a day of pure happiness and zero stress for all the lonely souls on LS. A day they can forget their situations and just enjoy. Oh, and if you could, put me down for one of those meaningless shags! HOLD THE BLOKE! LOL TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Aksion Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Why not I suppose. Dear Santa, Please allow me to make it through this Christmas w/o drinking myself into a stooper or popping any sort of pill. I realize this is something that is not in your power, but if you could, just don't come by this year, I'd appreciate the alone time and don't want any visitors as it would just remind me of the things I'm trying to forget. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 dear santa I have tooth ache. really bad. It nearly 2 am I am up drinking tea! ugh every request BAR Akinson (because he is invitied to my house........and yo are!) please please I BELIEIVE...........hey could you find a dentist open tomor too? or should that be ask jeeves? bless you button xx Link to post Share on other sites
curiou Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Nobmagnet you make me laugh! I hope you are finding lots of studs to shag because you sound like a good time in bed! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 hey love..........between you and me.............well and all these lovely people on LS. I have more thatn likely healed up its been so blummin long!!!!!!!!! The thought is there.......i feel sorry for the first bloke that does happen apon me. He willbe in for a shock!!!!!!!! thanks honey........are you free?? hahahaha Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Hi Nob, I have reviewed your case. You are on the Good list. And I have a present for you... You have defended your daughter against those that you have feared. You have stood for family values with a man you dislike. You have originality in your posting and compassion for others on LS. You have already had a meaningless shag and this has brought you unhappiness. That item came with parents that gave ridicule to you and your daughter. I cannot give you what you requested because we only deliver working parts. My gift to you is rediscovery... This gift may not help your hormones but the guy who gets you needs to cherish the contents. Love Mr and Mrs Santa Clause :laugh: Merry Christmas! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 awwwwwwww thanks santaxxxxxxx hey santa thanks for finding the dentist.........i had my tooth out bring on the tooth fairy! hmmmm i wonder if.........hahaha your words have made my day you are too kind Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 mmmmmmm Santa and Mrs santa sorry I implied Santa might get lucky tomorrow night. Forgot he was married. My anesthetic is wearing out......ask jeeves or you?? VODKA or WHISKY??? which might do the best pain relief ( it can't be as bad as it was before MR Dentist) i have got you and Mrs crimble a prezzie.Its next to the real fire. Ann Summers is the way to go! happy boxing day! (mrs Crimble, trust me the knob vibrator is ...........well happy crible!) neet xx Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I want my ex to realise he's unlikely to find someone who will love him as much as I did/do, that he hugs me and says he misses me. Well I can dream can't I?! I'd also like his female friends to show him how self centred and insensitive they are and for the one he used to fancy, and maybe still, does to drop off the face of the earth and do us all a favour. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 santa grants you your wish. you are a good egg. yes good list. whatch and wait the out comewillalways be in you favour. xxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Glad you found a dentist nob! I hope santa is good to you too Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 VODKA or WHISKY??? which might do the best pain relief ( it can't be as bad as it was before MR Dentist) i have got you and Mrs crimble a prezzie.Its next to the real fire. Ann Summers is the way to go! happy boxing day! (mrs Crimble, trust me the knob vibrator is ...........well happy crible!) neet xx Try oil of cloves for your teeth. This is an old remedy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 whadda ya do with it?? rub it on/drink it?? I was hoping two forms of numbness!!!! ahh booze............. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 cool!!!!! Dearest santa I have changed my mind. please will you make sure my ex gets syphallis for crimble as its a perfect gift.............one that just keeps giving ta santa LOL!!! Good one!!! Let's see....what would I wish for from Santa....happiness, peace, fun and sunshine (must have gotten my present early). For the ex, I hope he gets everything he has always wanted...and I am ecstatic that it's not me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 wheyyyyyy trippi make it so! two sleeps! xx Link to post Share on other sites
amilyah Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Dear santa, Please give nobmagnet everything he wants for chrismas and i would like the same present as well..........PLEASE..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobmagnet Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 amilya i have a vision........your happy........eating again.......hey my word you future is good!!!!! my prezzie to you santa opps i chose vodka...........hic hic Link to post Share on other sites
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