Maggs Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 This has been the first Christmas I've not spent with my fiance and in a few days, it'll be the longest time we've ever been apart. And the strain is showing. I knew it would be bad, but knowing it never prepares you for it. The last week and a bit has been hell. Snipping at each other over everything it seems. He's lonely without me and I'm miserable and depressed. When I was a teenager, I spent a few months struggling through a very dark period in my life. I don't know whether it was actually depression or not, but it was a very low time for me. I'm starting to feel that way again. I'm trying desperately to explain to my fiance how I feel and he just gets fed up after a while and thinks I'm moaning ABOUT him and as opposed to just venting. So I've given up talking to him about it. He's just constantly busy. When he's away working, he's busy. When he comes home, it's doubly busy. I feel like I'm the last on his list. He's always running here, there and everywhere and I would just like him to sit down and say that he's staying home this morning to sit and spend time with me. We've not webcammed or done anything extra in probably 4-5 weeks. And to top it all off, the Christmas cards & package he sent via airmail 4 weeks ago hasn't shown up yet. So I have nothing to open at Christmas plus we have no clue when we'll see each other. I literally feel at a breaking point. Like something's going to snap and it'll probably be me. I see so easily why people get so depressed and even commit suicide at Christmas time. What a horrible time of the year for some people. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. But this year, I'm a Grinch. I hate everything about it. I've cried everyday for the last 10 days. I want to curl up and not wake up till 2010. *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Oh Maggs. I am sorry sweetheart. I am sorry you can't be together this holiday. But there are sooo many more in your future together. Don't let one get you down. Perhaps look at it as the last one you spend as you did before you found each other remembering all of that searching of that time before. Saying good bye to all of those "single" nights and counting your blessings that you have him now. No matter where he is you have each other. I know holidays are hard. They all were for me. This year is no different. But I think of this season as the celebration of the dormant stage before Spring when all is new again. That has always helped me. And this year, for me, it is truly a closing of a chapter and the New Year will bring new adventures. Perhaps this brings you some peace to your heart my friend. {{{Maggs}}} Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Anyone else struggling with Christmas? Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
oxfordsocks Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 yes i am feeling the effects of being apart at christmas--and its oging to my waistline!!! There was a scene in a movie i watched last night"love actually" where a guy goes to his "familiy Christmas" walks in and everyone is there but he can't go in--- i felt like that --nothing else matters but being with that one person. i am trying to think of it a justa few days in time--with presents--- then backto regular life good luck and your not the only one--and better to be missing a boyfriend, lover, fiance, than missing a member of the family who has passed away(LIKE YOUR CHILD) WE ARE LUCKY if that is not us. Merry christmas Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Carl Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I know the feeling. I am never at my happiest this time of year. I always just want it to be January 2. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I know it can feel like you should be happy, and it can make one feel out of step. There's the anniversary syndrome as well, which you alluded to in your post. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I'm sorry your hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
Mei Mei Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 This is the first X'mas of us but we are far apart in two places. He needs to spend the day with kids and I am quite alone in my place becaues kids are not around too. No special activities with him but the usual online. I have planned to spent time with my friends who are also free in the X'mas to enjoy a happy holiday. Do fill up your time with some joyful activities with families and friends. Stay positive always and you are more attractive to everyone. We are often in the forum here to share and to support each others too!!:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
AnnPod Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 My boyfriend is more than 6,000 km away, he was told yesterday he has to do his final semester again, so he probably won't be able to visit me in January, and anyway Christmas and New Year's Eve is tough because my father passed away last year. I'm gonna be with my upset family who will ask me nagging questions about my boyfriend, because they just don't understand why I'm doing this. In other words: YES I hear you!! I am just somehow trying to stay positive, just gonna work for my final exam in January, work out, get myself some valerian for the nights, and get some distraction with my friends. I will not allow this to put me down. Try to think about anything positive you can imagine, watch comedies and stay away from melancholy as often as you can. (hugs) to you, everyone here and ahmmm myself Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I guess as strange as it sounds Im not struggling with Christmas. I have not yet gotten to spend Christmas with Rayette and the girls or any other holiday for that matter so its hard to miss what I have not had yet. I cant wait until we are all together for every holiday. Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I'm having a hard time this year. I didn't exactly spend Christmas with Mathew, but he was here for new years. This year he's with his parents. I totally understand and get that since it'll be a while before he'll be able to visit them again after the wedding, but it still hurts. I haven't seen him since November, and I'm not looking to see him until June 1st. I'm sure that has something to do with it too, but I try and throw myself into wedding plans as much as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Miad's Princess Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 You are not alone! I am feeling it especially hard this year. My SO is not only apart from me, like every other xmas, he is in military training this year. The contact has been very limited, in the run up to christmas. Not being able to share it with him has been really hard. *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Eilonwy Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Hmm, Christmas is the time I don't really care much. I've always celebrated with my family, so it feels normal to me not to have him around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maggs Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 Thanks for everyone's msgs. Glad I'm not alone. I hope everyone finds some moment of happiness over the holidays. And for those who won't see their SO's for a long time yet...I hope time goes fast for you too. Merry Christmas LS! And to everyone here who's always so suppotive. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Just putting in a supportive word for all of you guys - I totally understand, big occasions are the worst, birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries... Ironically, even though the bf's in the country for these two months, I have to spend Christmas without him because I had to go to my parents' instead for the weekend else they'd throw the hugest fuss on earth (which wouldn't be good, because they're still sponsoring my education). Due to certain reasons, he can't follow. He's being a great sport about it, but I truly wish I could've been with him. I miss him already. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 two years ago,my unit was in helmund province getting mortared on Christmas. that night a buddy of mine was not only wounded, but received the classic "i just wanna be friends" line from his fiancé. (via satellite email) so hang in there the rest of you. things could be worse Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 I don't understand how that comment was relevant to the thread, but whatever. Loads of things are worse than missing your SO on Christmas, but this isn't what the thread it's about. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashbash11 Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 YES! I was just moping today about how I won't be able to spend ANY of the special holidays with my SO... Not even my birthday this year, because he has to work. I am pretty devastated about it, actually. He was supposed to visit me for New Years, but his grandmother passed away a few days ago, so the funeral is going to be held during the time he was supposed to visit me... I'm glad I am not the only one who is feeling sad this time of year. I am with my family which is nice, but it's so sad to go through all the special days of the year without your SO by your side. Link to post Share on other sites
Romance Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 When I see everyones pictures on facebook from christmas with their boyfriends and girlfriends i get so jealous. it has to be so wonderful to spend that day or even part of it with your significant other. My family saying 'wheres your boyfriend' didn't help me any. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maggs Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 Well we all made it through Christmas! Now just to get onto 2010 and a better year ahead. It's so hard because not a single person noticed that I was down and no one asked...hey how you feeling, how you doing with 'fiance', etc. Would have been nice for someone to just reach out and make an effort. Sent my fiance some pics of Christmas and he said how sad I looked in all the pictures. Like it was an effort to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
terra Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Me too... this Christmas sucked. The funny thing was I though it was going to be great. I thought the holidays would be a nice distraction from missing him - lots of parties, events, and getting ready for Christmas with lots of shopping and cooking -but doing it all without him was tough. I'm looking forward to the New Year and back into the comfort of my routine and the moderate but usually manageable amount of loneliness. Link to post Share on other sites
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