Contact over Xmas?

[trulyme]

Would it be rude to not contact an ex over xmas. We broke up about 3-4 weeks ago and it was not a hoorible break up....it was a "I need some space break up". I have seen a few people on here asking that but no answers. I don't want to look like an @ss for not at least txting her or something small. Does the no contact rule still apply in my case?

I still love her and I messed up in the relationship.....so that is another factor. But she has told me that she wants space (3weeks) ago and I have not talk to her since.

Drop a line...........or continue to play the "no contact game"??

Thanks for the help.

[mjk]

What I would suggest is to send her a "netural" Christmas card if possible, or if not, give her a call to wish a Merry Christmas. NO GIFTS, etc. That will just push her farther away, believe me!

 

3 weeks is good for no contact. Okay now, maybe just a quick contact, card etc. would be nice. Don't not do anyhing or you will be in the dog house for sure. Don't do too much or you'll be blown off real bad.

 

You have to give her space otherwise you will suffocate her and she will dispise even talking to you. How much space no one knows, but if she's asking for it, you'd better do it, painful or not.

 

Girls want a man who is not needy, clingy, etc. When you do talk to her keeep it short, less that 15 minutes, don't talk about the "old" relationship, getting back together, or anything to do with what she is doing or stuff like that. Above all, be happy when you talk to her even if you are not. Would you ever want to go back to somebody who was whiny, or all depressed? Now you get the drift.

 

Good luck. I really wish someone had the "solution" but we are all very different!

[sarah12]

I agrree with mjk. Don't not do anything. You have to do something. I was pretty upset when my 'ex' told our mutual friend to tell me happy birthday because he didn't have the guts to do it himself. So definitely send her a card or sms or something. And just leave it at that. No gifts.

[trulyme]

Something tells me that "not" doing anything might put ??????? marks in her head and make her wonder why I did nothing......which in turn makes her want to contact me and wonder what I am doing.

Then another part says that if SHE does not contact me........then she could care less about me. She is probably thinking the samething as well.

I find myself questioning why I am doing it in the first place. To win her back?? Possibly. To see if she would respond?? Possibly. But would I really want to call her and say hi when she could possibly be dating another guy and not caring one bit about me? I mean I don't know that for sure. Either way I guess it's just a good gesture regardless to drop a line during the holidays. I wonder if she is expecting it though??

Thanks for the input!!

[Kanuk]

What about in my situation. IF you're familoiar with it that is.

 

Basically, i screwed up bad and got a 'break' tunred into a breakup. She hasn't contated me as she wanted space. She eventually said, however, that she didn't think she was ready to talk to me, but would let me know when she was.

 

Do i send a card? I thin kit'd make her feel uncomfertable and maybe eneb make her feel bad. or she could care less. All in all, i absoluntly DO NOT want to make her feel bad.

[michiganmale27]

I recently had a break up with a girlfriend of 8 months as well. I'm in a bind, as I really had all these great gift ideas and stuff. Now I wonder if I should even send her an email/screen message acknowledging the holidays? In any event people, I have a feeling that we all will make the right decision one way or the other.

 

Merry Christmas, and good luck everyone!

[sarah12]

trulyme - send her something because you really do want to with her happy holidays, and do not expect anything in return. It was not a horrible break up, and therefore she may be wondering the same thing as you -whether or not to send you a card. In fact, I am almost sure that is what she is thinking! I would be if I was in that situation. And like I said, you have to do something, if you do nothing..she will likely not think too highly of you....

 

michiganmale - I don't know what your situation is, but I think you should also acknowledge the holidays with your ex! I always find that those e-card things are nice and simple. It doesn't say too much but enough to make someone smile and think of you.

 

kanuk - I really don't know. I have not read the updates on your situation yet, but last time I read, it was not so good?

 

In all cases, I think that sending something simple is better than doing nothing. Good luck guys!

[trulyme]

I can't believe how hard it is for me to make a decision about this little thing. Feels like a freaking game.......and that is exactly what it is. But it is also a game that I want to win and if wining = getting her back, then that is what I want to do.

I have talk to a couple people and they seem to think that is still smothering her. I don't know. I value everyone's opinion. I just wish there was a rule book here.

Still have a few days to decide, so we'll see!!

Thanks everyone!!

 

Maybe I will wait till late Xmas day and see if she contacts me. Who knows what she is thinking at this point.

[Kanuk]

Geeze louise! I want to message or call her so badly right now. I want to say merry christmas, to hear her voice. To tell her how much i miss her.

 

But, she didn't call me on christmas, so i think that means she just doesn't want to talk to me. Of all the days of the year, i thought that would be the one she would call on, if ever again.

 

Just posting to avoid calling or sending an icq message. maybe i should, but then again, i probably shouldn't.