My Rambling Story

[LifesontheUp]

WCOM - I think you are doing the right thing. If she isn't committing to the marriage and NC then you may as well seperate.

 

This really is a rollercoaster and you need to concentrate on you and your kids. Your wife will have to deal with her own issues.

 

I wish you luck

[dprtman09]

Thanks for all the posts, dpartman....I appreciate your insight.

 

Update: Went to MC yesterday and it went quite well. We're not entirely sure we like the therapist yet (seems to be self involved with his own take on things), but it did open up alot of information. The W elaborated on her attempts at NC over the past 4 weeks now. The one text and one e-mail and as I suspected, he showed up at the party where she was on NYE. If she can be believed, she immediately distanced herself from him, refused to talk to him, and left the party. I am fairly confident in this version as since that time, mutual friends (who have no idea of the A) have collaborated that the OM was visibly upset at the party and wonder what was going on between him and W. To that end, I believe the A has now been exposed to a select group of friends as it was obvious there was tension and something going on. The W, is now distancing herself from that group of friends too and is focusing on rebuilding the relationships with our M friends.

 

Lots going on and VERY VERY early in the game, so my guard is not let down. It was refreshing to hear at the MC her tell the therapist that the A is absolutely over. True or not, who the heck knows, but it is the first time she has really positively affirmed that it is over. Last night, after the MC, we stayed up until 2:00am just talking. She knows that separation/divorce is still a distinct possibility. She knows that any contact with OM is an immediate deal breaker. She knows that contact with the W of OM is also off limits. So far, she seems to be making a genuine effort towards all of this and reconciliation, but again, way too early in the process to make any judgements at this point. There is still much to work through, and I WILL NOT allow myself to be lulled into a sense of complacency.

 

One footnote, I told the therapist that I was considering separation, but he recommended against separation. Said that we weren't 'immeshed' into each other and that physical separation wasn't needed at this juncture. Having never been to a therapist before, how do you know if he/she is a good one? This one came highly recommended, is a PhD, is published.

 

Big surprise, the therapist has his/her own take on things. That's what you're paying him/her for. OK, I've had my fun, but my point is this. Neither of you will necessarily like what the therapist says. Their job is the truth. In your case, the truth may hurt either one of you at any time. My W and I didn't "like" our counselor at first, but she put us on the right path whether we liked it or not. We began to rediscover that we still had the same things in common and still knew each other better than anyone else. That happened to be valuable to us.

 

Your W will continue to lie to you and tell half-truths for a while yet. Deal with it. You need to vow to be totally honest with her, though, if you really want a chance at regaining any semblance of a M. Tell her exactly what you're thinking and feeling about her actions and words. If or when she can take it, you're getting back on track. As long as she even appears to be justifying her actions or defending the OM, you still have a way to go. She probably hasn't yet grasped the damage she has done. It's a hard pill to swallow, but, to paraphrase Bon Jovi, her love is like bad medicine; bad medicine is what she needs.

 

Lastly, don't run. Give her the option of leaving. Remember what I said before, she has to call your bluffs, you don't have to call hers. Always be ready for any outcome. Always focus on the desired outcome.

[dprtman09]

Can i ask you a question. If you desired to be with someone after you totally messed up, wouldn't you throw yourself at their mercy? If you wanted to be with someone wouldn't you do all that you could to just prove it to them ?

 

If a person(wife) wanted to be with their significant other they would simply pull out all of the stops, heck they might even beg. But this is not happening. She is sitting around wondering if the feelings of love and respect will come back all the while entertaining the thoughts of being with another. You can't dance to the tune of two songs being played at the same time u know.

 

The lack of total truth, even if its a warped sence of the truth is just wrong. When you love people you really want to share happiness with them. And not attempt to take happiness away either.

 

She is in a fog, most of us have been there at some point of our lives and we did not leave the fog until we were ready. no one "walked" us out of it. I think you want to do the thinking for your wife, i know I tried to. It dosen't work. She will love and respect you IF she chooses to. There is nothing you can do to make a thing right all on your own. And stressing and worrying only makes you look and appear less attractive. You can't really hide those things you know.

 

My advise is to love her, but let her make up her own mind how she wants to handle things, don't get petty and throw her lies back in her face. Stop searching for a thing, You won't be shown the total truth until you can handle the truth. There is a part of life that you are not living right now, i wish you will discover it again, and live it fully, even while in the middle of this storm. time is the best friend you have right now, time will heal, time will give up past truths, time will show you the way.

 

I don't think you would have put her through the things she is putting you through, thats love if you ask me, buy why aren't you loving yourself enough to not put yourself through these things?

 

She is totally responsible for her actions, but you are responsible for your thoughts and emotions. Love yourself in a new way. Raise your esteem and your head. That is what makes a mate irrestible.

 

I wish I had known that 5 years ago...

 

I wish you the best.

 

SKi

 

V, you hit the nail on the head. WCOM cannot and should not be responsible for the actions of 2 people. If his W begs for mercy, it is his decision to give it or not.

 

However, if WCOM is not totally forthcoming with his reactions to anything she says or does regarding the A, then he will simply bottle it all up until he and/or the M explodes. He needs to confront her with every lie or deceptive practice that he is aware of. The only way the playing field is even is if both sides are ready to accept all os the consequences of the situation. She can't, or maybe won't, take responsibility for what she thinks he doesn't know or care about. She needs to do that before any progress can be made.

 

The first step is knowing one needs to change.

 

My W's been there and done that. It worked for her and ultimately for the marriage.

[dprtman09]

WCOM - I think you are doing the right thing. If she isn't committing to the marriage and NC then you may as well seperate.

 

This really is a rollercoaster and you need to concentrate on you and your kids. Your wife will have to deal with her own issues.

 

I wish you luck

 

Human instinct--fight or flight. Paul Simon: "If she goes, she's gone. If she stays, she stays here. Is that how one should live? Some would say yes. Others, like myself, would say don't give up the ship. Mind you, don't go down with the ship, she is sinking it so far. If need be, let her go with it. Just hang in there until there is no alternative. If WCOM has made a choice to hang in there, as he has indicated elsewhere in this thread, then he has made a decision. The question then becomes when she will take the responsibilities that she is OBLIGED to take if the M is to be salvaged.

 

It's only natural that WCOM may consider separation. He has his own alternative outcomes to deal with. As was pointed out by Varaski, WCOM cannot be responsible for the actions of 2 people.

 

I add this: He can be responsible for his actions regarding the M.

[varaski]

V, you hit the nail on the head. WCOM cannot and should not be responsible for the actions of 2 people. If his W begs for mercy, it is his decision to give it or not.

 

However, if WCOM is not totally forthcoming with his reactions to anything she says or does regarding the A, then he will simply bottle it all up until he and/or the M explodes. He needs to confront her with every lie or deceptive practice that he is aware of. The only way the playing field is even is if both sides are ready to accept all os the consequences of the situation. She can't, or maybe won't, take responsibility for what she thinks he doesn't know or care about. She needs to do that before any progress can be made.

 

The first step is knowing one needs to change.

 

My W's been there and done that. It worked for her and ultimately for the marriage.

 

Having WCOM keep his cool and composure is why we are here. Worst case scenerio he loses his calm and blows up and all is lost, but he is not a worse case guy at all. He is going to be patient enough to take in some lies so he can see more of the truth.

 

here is a lil of my personal expeirances, when i confronted someone with the little truth that I had, all it really did was force them to hide their lies more.I say sit back and let em stay sloppy. Let em think they have us fooled, aqll the while continue to build self up so the self esteem dosen't fall through the floor.

 

While we all were going through all we really desired was the truth, but we tried to force them to tell us and it always backfired. Granted I do not accept lies, but there is a way to let a person know you know better without calling them a lair, i often do it with a simple smile.

 

Never let em see u sweat bro. Never let em see u stress, they know when you are still head over heels with them and while they living in a fog, usually it is used aganist you.

 

I say don't pertent to be happy, get happy for real.

[LifesontheUp]

Human instinct--fight or flight. Paul Simon: "If she goes, she's gone. If she stays, she stays here. Is that how one should live? Some would say yes. Others, like myself, would say don't give up the ship. Mind you, don't go down with the ship, she is sinking it so far. If need be, let her go with it. Just hang in there until there is no alternative. If WCOM has made a choice to hang in there, as he has indicated elsewhere in this thread, then he has made a decision. The question then becomes when she will take the responsibilities that she is OBLIGED to take if the M is to be salvaged.

 

It's only natural that WCOM may consider separation. He has his own alternative outcomes to deal with. As was pointed out by Varaski, WCOM cannot be responsible for the actions of 2 people.

 

I add this: He can be responsible for his actions regarding the M.

 

I have no problems with anyone wanting to try and make a marriage work. However, if the cheater is unwilling to cease contact with the AP there often comes a point where the BS has to make a decision FOR THEIR OWN SANITY.

 

This can mean separation and it is what others have done in similar circumstances and exactly what I did. Why would anyone want to live day in day out seeing/knowing there is a 3rd person in their marriage? It slowly kills your spirit, and the person you love and supposedly loves you is doing this to you

 

Doesn't mean they stay gone. Sometimes they realise what they have lost and try to come back and want to make it work. If that happens with WCOM then the decision on whether he wants her back is entirely up to him.

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

Another milestone, misstep, whatever....

 

My teenage step-son informed his mother this morning just before going to school that he overheard a conversation the other night about the affair. So, now the A is exposed to him. I had a long talk with him after school about the situation, and he's disappointed in his mom. Said he couldn't imagine ever cheating on someone. I hate that he found out this way, but maybe it is for the best? I honestly don't know.....She of course is upset about the further exposure.

[dprtman09]

Contact doesn't have to be necessarily directly with him----His wife is causing your wife to think about him----It has to be out of sight out of mind-----Your wife needs to be home working on fixing the mge., not out with other women all who have marital problems----she is right in the middle of a nest of cheaters----she needs to be clear of all of that negativity

 

Funny you should mention that. One of the fears I had was that my W had a good friend who has been carrying on a PA and an EA with the same man for about 20 years. My W confided in her and, naturally, I was afraid that the friend would enable, encourage, or give my W ideas on how to continue with better cover-up methods. Conversely, what happened was that my W lost trust in her friend for other reasons and used her friend's stress and family strife as an example of where she did NOT want our marriage to go. In other words, she had an example of what could happen to bounce her cheating off of. That is not to say that my W did not get more creative in trying to cover her tracks, but whether her friend gave her the ideas or not is up for grabs. All of my W's methods failed either because of my constant vigilence or her letting the cat(s) out of the bag by accident (once, she called me from a contract phone and try to claim it wasn't hers even though her name was on the caller ID). Needless to say, that phone went away in a hurry!

 

But I digress. The point is that 99% of the time, you're right about WCOM's W not being with those people. There is a slim chance that her exposure to them may be of value later if the M is to be salvaged.

 

One can gain advantage from other people's problems.

[dprtman09]

Having WCOM keep his cool and composure is why we are here. Worst case scenerio he loses his calm and blows up and all is lost, but he is not a worse case guy at all. He is going to be patient enough to take in some lies so he can see more of the truth.

 

here is a lil of my personal expeirances, when i confronted someone with the little truth that I had, all it really did was force them to hide their lies more.I say sit back and let em stay sloppy. Let em think they have us fooled, aqll the while continue to build self up so the self esteem dosen't fall through the floor.

 

While we all were going through all we really desired was the truth, but we tried to force them to tell us and it always backfired. Granted I do not accept lies, but there is a way to let a person know you know better without calling them a lair, i often do it with a simple smile.

 

Never let em see u sweat bro. Never let em see u stress, they know when you are still head over heels with them and while they living in a fog, usually it is used aganist you.

 

I say don't pertent to be happy, get happy for real.

 

Varaski, once again you are right where WCOM needs to be.

 

My proposal is not that he "blows up". Rather, he needs to let her know in a calm manner that he is aware of whatever he is aware of. Then, as you say, he needs to sit back and watch her squirm, screw up, and fumble the truth out. She has built a house of cards and all WCOM has to do is be a breeze.

 

At this point, he needs not say he loves her. He just needs to keep his goal ahead of him. It would be nearly impossible for WCOM to show no stress, she knows him too well. But he does not want to let her know that he is internally torn in any way. He knows what has happened and what is happenning. She needs to change his point of view.

[dprtman09]

I have no problems with anyone wanting to try and make a marriage work. However, if the cheater is unwilling to cease contact with the AP there often comes a point where the BS has to make a decision FOR THEIR OWN SANITY.

 

This can mean separation and it is what others have done in similar circumstances and exactly what I did. Why would anyone want to live day in day out seeing/knowing there is a 3rd person in their marriage? It slowly kills your spirit, and the person you love and supposedly loves you is doing this to you

 

Doesn't mean they stay gone. Sometimes they realise what they have lost and try to come back and want to make it work. If that happens with WCOM then the decision on whether he wants her back is entirely up to him.

 

Definitely one of the hardest decisions a married person has to make.

 

I just suggest that he regain his identity for his sake first and then re-identify himself as a married person before he decides to stay or run.

[Darth Vader]

Another milestone, misstep, whatever....

 

My teenage step-son informed his mother this morning just before going to school that he overheard a conversation the other night about the affair. So, now the A is exposed to him. I had a long talk with him after school about the situation, and he's disappointed in his mom. Said he couldn't imagine ever cheating on someone. I hate that he found out this way, but maybe it is for the best? I honestly don't know.....She of course is upset about the further exposure.

 

 

Disappointing is not the word, that kid's screwed up now! I hope your wife's really understanding what she's done, now her own son is paying for her affair, I hope she's happy about hurting her own son as well!

 

You realize that she can't ever say anything to him about sex or whatever without her being a hypocrite in your son's eyes!

[Darth Vader]

Another milestone, misstep, whatever....

 

My teenage step-son informed his mother this morning just before going to school that he overheard a conversation the other night about the affair. So, now the A is exposed to him. I had a long talk with him after school about the situation, and he's disappointed in his mom. Said he couldn't imagine ever cheating on someone. I hate that he found out this way, but maybe it is for the best? I honestly don't know.....She of course is upset about the further exposure.

 

 

Also, what is she saying about it? What can she say?

 

Remember, she didn't only cheat on you, she cheated on the whole family! That includes your son! Your son should know that!

Edited January 16, 2010 by Darth Vader

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

She knows the implications with her son now. I think he's even tried to use it to his advantage a couple of times in getting his way with her. We also informed the MC today about it.

 

Just a quickie update:

 

Still spending time apart...Going on week two now. We still decided to go to MC this morning. Counselor really lit into her today about her dragging out NC with the OM. Basically repeated all the talking points here about building up safety for me, rationalizing her decision to delay NC, et al. She felt like trash afterwords and wouldn't talk. Who knows whether this kick in the pants sends her running back to him or finally makes her realize what she's been doing. Or she may continue to rationalize it all away. I'm hoping the fog lifts soon. My resolve lessens each day.

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

Well.....I'm speechless.

 

W called and told me she ended it with OM. It's over. Not sure what to think. Did she do this because of the emotional beating she took today or because she really felt it was time. I'm worried it was the former and she'll regress. I know that for the past week she had only had a few phone calls with him and was saying the emotional attachment was greatly diminished, but to do an about face so soon.....I'm confused.

[seibert253]

Actions speak louder than words.

 

She says it's over, but will she walk the walk.

If you want this to work, she needs to show you she's committed to this.

By no means take what she says as the gospel. You need to stay vigilent with verifying everything she says she's doing. She needs to earn your trust.

 

More than likely it was the combination of things that brought down the your WW's house of cards. That's what happened in my case. It wasn't just one event, but the combination of :

A. loosing her best friend, (her words not mine)

B. sharing custody of our child

C. Having to get a full time job, being on her own and paying her own way

D. Me telling everyone who would listen what was going on and exposing her for what she truly was. (She really had everyone convinced, me included, that she was the perfect wife)

 

If she's sincere, this is a MAJOR step forward.

But since she's a woman, she's subject to changing her mind on a moments notice, so don't get too comfortable.

Hope and pray for the best, but continue to prepare for the worst.

[dprtman09]

Actions speak louder than words.

 

She says it's over, but will she walk the walk.

If you want this to work, she needs to show you she's committed to this.

By no means take what she says as the gospel. You need to stay vigilent with verifying everything she says she's doing. She needs to earn your trust.

 

More than likely it was the combination of things that brought down the your WW's house of cards. That's what happened in my case. It wasn't just one event, but the combination of :

A. loosing her best friend, (her words not mine)

B. sharing custody of our child

C. Having to get a full time job, being on her own and paying her own way

D. Me telling everyone who would listen what was going on and exposing her for what she truly was. (She really had everyone convinced, me included, that she was the perfect wife)

 

If she's sincere, this is a MAJOR step forward.

But since she's a woman, she's subject to changing her mind on a moments notice, so don't get too comfortable.

Hope and pray for the best, but continue to prepare for the worst.

 

This is where I am now. Fortunately, she agrees that I have the right to ask questions and check things out occasionally without her getting defensive or accusing me of accusing her. I don't want to suspect her any more, but the shock of dday lasts a long time. I have to continue to work on my confidence in my ability to make the marriage work. I have to continue to monitor the signs she gives me that she is or is not committed to the same goal. It' a new dynamic.

 

I say prepare for the best and hope and pray that the worst doesn't happen--a slightly different slant.

 

I believe what you say, but maybe for a slightly different reason.

[dprtman09]

Hey, what happened to this guy? I want to see him master his situation, but no further info. is available for several days. Wifecheatedonme, where are you?

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

I'm here but traveling on business. Not much to update. NC with OM continues as far as I know. W told me OM texted her but she didn't respond. She was in good spirits today and kept in good communication. She's going home to another state to visit family, so we'll have about 5 more days of no physical C. I'm hopeful that upon return, the rebuilding process can start fresh.

[dprtman09]

I'm here but traveling on business. Not much to update. NC with OM continues as far as I know. W told me OM texted her but she didn't respond. She was in good spirits today and kept in good communication. She's going home to another state to visit family, so we'll have about 5 more days of no physical C. I'm hopeful that upon return, the rebuilding process can start fresh.

 

OK. Looks good on paper. You need to check all records to make sure she didn't respond. Rhetorical question: How's your love life with her? Has there been any within the last reasonable period of time?

 

My W's former friend has been having an A with the same man for the last 30 years or so. During my W's affair, her friend wanted my W to drive her to her aunt's home in Buffalo, N.Y. When they got to that area, my W's friend informed her that they were going to Niagara Falls to meet her friend's OM. My W then had to spend three days as a fifth wheel. Her friend's OM paid for everything and My W felt awkward and embarassed.

Then, my W had to cover for her friend and answer to me because, naturally, I thought she may have planned to meet her OM there, too, or did meet him there. Turns out she didn't. He had just started a new job.

 

I'll never really know what My W's motives might have been, but she didn't violate the site of our wedding with the OM.

 

The moral of the story is this: She still does and will for quite a while owe you everything to regain your trust. Don't forget that. You still have the right to investigate any aspect of her life you wish to. Don't hesitate to do so. She may be on an innocent trip, but she may not be. You can't prove what she's NOT doing, but you can prove what she is doing.

 

Hopefully, you are in another stage of recovery. Keep plugging.

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

I know for certain that she went alone. She stayed with a close family friend and spent alot of time with extended family. None of whom know of the A (we didn't expose that far). We spent about 3 hours on the phone on her way up as she got lost. She missed me terribly she says.

 

Things have been pretty good when she got back. Counseling went very well this week. She's been more affectionate, loving and touchy.

 

We've resumed semi-normal sexual relations. She's on ADs so her desire is somewhat repressed, but we cuddle and kiss alot. We've been going on dates and spending more time together. We're still separated, but are starting to taper that off. We're spending family time together. I'm hopeful but still guarded.

[dprtman09]

I know for certain that she went alone. She stayed with a close family friend and spent alot of time with extended family. None of whom know of the A (we didn't expose that far). We spent about 3 hours on the phone on her way up as she got lost. She missed me terribly she says.

 

Things have been pretty good when she got back. Counseling went very well this week. She's been more affectionate, loving and touchy.

 

We've resumed semi-normal sexual relations. She's on ADs so her desire is somewhat repressed, but we cuddle and kiss alot. We've been going on dates and spending more time together. We're still separated, but are starting to taper that off. We're spending family time together. I'm hopeful but still guarded.

 

Good for you! You didn't bring unnecessary parties into the fray. It seems as though much progress has been made, but you are right to sstay on your guard. My W and I had made a lot of progress when I discovered that she had backslid a couple of times last year, maybe more. I do know that she has not seen the OM for at least a year and a half. i also know that she was at least in touch with him occasionally until last October. It doesn't mean the A is still on, but you can't ignore it either. Stay on top of your game and be true to your goals. Right now, your truthfulness with her will hopefully set an example for her as she reveals the A to you. Hopefully, she's doing that.

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

She's been pretty truthful about the A itself....There's not much that I don't know or need to know with regards to the nuts and bolts.

 

Had a bit of a backslide last night/today. She's been trying to hire onto a new company, and I discovered that this company the OM works with as a contractor/employee. She says she had no idea (its a large multi-USA company with lots of employees and offices) and wouldn't apply now, but it still gave me pause. It also set her off as she said I'm still not trusting her (well d'uh).

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

And so the roller coaster continues....

 

She admitted last night that she's had two more instances of contact in the past two weeks. 15 minutes at her Gym and at Walmart. He came to her Gym and met her in the lobby to tell her that he understands she is working on her M and that he fully supports that...WTF? The contact at Walmart was more benign, but at this point, I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm so very confused.

 

I was very hurt but kept my emotions in tact and my cool the best I could. I began to discuss D with her because I cannot continue to tolerate the lies and deceptions. She says she absolutely does not want to D that she wants us to be together forever. She says that she still loves me very much, but that she feels like she's having an out of body experience and that it's not her doing these things. She tried to justify the contact saying that he contacted her not the other way around so in her mind it wasn't breaking her NC. So much fog and babble.

 

I do believe strongly that at this point, she is in withdrawal from the EA. But how long do I wait? She knows that this contact is the one thing preventing full recovery at this point, and she mentioned that she's going to tell him that. This past week we felt so close to breaking through. We were enjoying each other's company and I could honestly feel her fog lifting. But now, I feel foolish for believing anything from her. I do want to reconcile, but how much of myself do I lose in the process? Honesty is above all the most important thing to me. I would not have been so upset had she immediately come to me and told me OM showed up at her Gym.

 

I'm thinking of canceling MC at this point. I don't see the use until she firmly establishes NC. I do think she needs IC more than MC right now and she wants to find one. My concern there is she gets some loon that 'validates' her feelings and actions instead of getting to the root cause of her behavior.

 

Help me

[Bryanp]

I am so sorry what you are going through. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions are speaking volumes. It is very disturbing that she tells you it is not really her but an out of body experience that is doing this. I call bull---- on this. What she is saying is that she has no control over this and therefore it is not her fault. It is somebody else that is doing this. She clearly refuses to take responsibility for her affair. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. If the roles were reversed and you told her that you were screwing another woman behind her back, putting her at risk for STD's but claimed it was not really your fault. It was somebody else and you were having an out of body experience - Do you honestly thing she would accept such bull from you? I think you are wasting your time. She will do it again down the line and claim it is not really her fault.

It is time to move on and find someone who can respect you and respects a marriage. This is the not the woman who can do either.

[WifeCheatedOnMe]

I am so sorry what you are going through. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions are speaking volumes.

 

Thanks for the response...

 

I agree, actions speak louder than words and that's what is so confusing. This past week her actions were what I expected from a WS ready to reconcile. Even tho we are separated, we were spending ALOT of time together. She was engaging me, hugging, holding hands, cuddling, et al. She was leaving little love notes around and even a card that professed how much she wanted to come home to US, and how much she wanted US forever, signed Love your wifey. But all the while concealing that the OM had contacted her again. She says she was afraid to tell me because we were becoming so much closer and she feared destroying that if I found out he contacted her. I told her the concealment of that was far more damaging than the fact he shows up at her gym beyond her control.

 

Bryanp, I hear you, and quite honestly I wrestle with the same thing. Will she EVER come out of this funk and tell me the truth on a daily basis and will I ever be able to trust her again. Divorce at this point quite honestly would be so much easier, but I want to know from myself have I done everything that I can possibly do? It's only been two months since Dday and I've read so many stories of repeated NC being broken for 3 to 6 months before the EA finally runs its course. The contact has been greatly diminished, the frequency less and the duration of each less and more strained. Some of this I can verify, some I can't so who the hell knows what's true anymore. I'm almost positive that no PA continues and its the only reason I continue to not give up. To those that have recovered, is this a normal progression? To those that tried to recover and gave up, when do you throw in the towel?

 

Thank you so much for listening to this confused BS. I want to believe, but I don't want to be the fool anymore.

Edited January 31, 2010 by WifeCheatedOnMe