tigressA Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 That's the subject line of a message I got from a guy just a little while ago on OKCupid. It goes like this: "I made a fake profile on OK Cupid just to see what women on here have to deal with. I used a friends photos and made an account for an attractive young girl. Within the first 10 minutes I had 3 winks and 12 profile views. Within the first day I had about 20 messages, all of them VERY stupid. It was then that I realized two things. 1) That OKCUPID.COM is over populated with men! 2)About 99% of these men are people I would shoot if they ever came near my daughter. So! That being said...I would like you to know that I not only sympathize with your situation but I understand it! I feel guilty every time I send a girl a message on here so I very rarely initiate conversations. You, however, have made me willing to take the risk of offending you. I hope I do not. Why are you not open to dating? (My edit: I wrote that I'm not interested in "any more" dating prospects--I have several on my plate now.) I see that your profile is set to "single". This displeases me very much because I was hoping we could have a conversation. I'd like to know how an obviously brilliant young girl with the looks to match is even on OkCupid to begin with? I find your focus very attractive. Not many people know what they want to do in life but you have a goal! There is a lot that I seem to like about your profile. I see we are both liberals. I used to be more passionate about politics but I have since become jaded and have focused my energy elsewhere. But I do like your pic next to the grim reaper....sooo true! Well, my name is () and I would love to find out if you are really too good to be true. Happy holidays ()" His pictures include one of him without a shirt, and another one with a cigarette in his mouth, with fanned-out bills in both his hands. A guy friend of mine suggested responding with this: "Dude I totally tried your strategy, in fact, this IS my fake page with a friend's photo, and you are right, guys just like YOU won't give up messaging me about how 'unique' they are with their constant struggles against 'the man'. Good luck brother, we are all in this together". What do you think of this? Would you even bother responding to a message like this? The subject line, to me, just reeks of insecurity--you have to put down the rest of your gender to make yourself look good? No, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
tfkizzle Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 It's hard to say what is most off-putting about this guys message and profile. The fact that you said you weren't interested in dating and he asked you why would definitely top the list. It's a very transparent ploy to get you to respond to him so he can bug you about giving him a chance. I like what your guy friend said to write back - that's definitely something I would do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Plus, he's probably sent a message almost exactly like this to other girls! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Oh geez! IMO one of the worst things a guy can do is claim loudly & proudly that he's "not like other guys" and that he's soooo different. It's usually one of the first signs that he's EXACTLY like typical guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Oh geez! IMO one of the worst things a guy can do is claim loudly & proudly that he's "not like other guys" and that he's soooo different. It's usually one of the first signs that he's EXACTLY like typical guys. Which is EXACTLY why his profile included a pic of him shirtless! Ugh. He was actually kinda cute, but that entire message just totally turned me off! Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Plus, he's probably sent a message almost exactly like this to other girls! :lmao: Honestly, from my perspective, you're the one who seems like a game-player. If you don't want any more guys to contact you about dating, THEN WHY IS YOUR PROFILE STILL UP?! Honestly, he seems pretty straightforward. If you're interested in dating, have a chat with him. If you're not interested in dating, take down your profile and stop complaining. :rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Peaceful Guy Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 "Dude I totally tried your strategy, in fact, this IS my fake page.. that's great, but i would suggest not actually doing it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Honestly, from my perspective, you're the one who seems like a game-player. If you don't want any more guys to contact you about dating, THEN WHY IS YOUR PROFILE STILL UP?! Honestly, he seems pretty straightforward. If you're interested in dating, have a chat with him. If you're not interested in dating, take down your profile and stop complaining. :rolleyes: Did you not see where I put "my edit"? I wrote that I'm not interested in "any more" dating prospects--I have several on my plate now. And at the moment, the only way I have of contacting them is via the site. I just ignore all the messages I don't get that aren't from those particular people. I wasn't really complaining; I just found it amusing and ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
b52s Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Oh geez! IMO one of the worst things a guy can do is claim loudly & proudly that he's "not like other guys" and that he's soooo different. It's usually one of the first signs that he's EXACTLY like typical guys. Yeah, but is it not hypcrotical when a woman says she's not looking for a guy that "plays games" or has a HEADLINER stating, "I am looking for a nice guy" or "Not looking for a jerk" THEN, you send an email stating that "Hey, I saw your profile saying that you're looking for a nice guy...so I AM a NICE GUY...how about that! DATE ME!" Right? It's spinning wheels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Yeah, but is it not hypcrotical when a woman says she's not looking for a guy that "plays games" or has a HEADLINER stating, "I am looking for a nice guy" or "Not looking for a jerk" THEN, you send an email stating that "Hey, I saw your profile saying that you're looking for a nice guy...so I AM a NICE GUY...how about that! DATE ME!" Right? It's spinning wheels. Yeah, and that's why I have absolutely nothing like that in my profile! Link to post Share on other sites
b52s Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Honestly, from my perspective, you're the one who seems like a game-player. If you don't want any more guys to contact you about dating, THEN WHY IS YOUR PROFILE STILL UP?! Honestly, he seems pretty straightforward. If you're interested in dating, have a chat with him. If you're not interested in dating, take down your profile and stop complaining. :rolleyes: Bingo...you see, this is what US man have to deal these women when it coems to ONLIEDATING The walking contradictions and hypocracy that these women are willing to go through online. It's pathetic.LOL How about the ones that PUT in their ads that they have "alot on their plate right now, so HE has to be understanding of this" Here's an idea, delete your profile until you have your life together, how about that?? Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Did you not see where I put "my edit"? I wrote that I'm not interested in "any more" dating prospects--I have several on my plate now. And at the moment, the only way I have of contacting them is via the site. I just ignore all the messages I don't get that aren't from those particular people. I wasn't really complaining; I just found it amusing and ridiculous. You asked what we thought, and that's what I think. All girls proclaim to be "not like other girls," and this guy is just trying to stand out somehow. At least he's done his research, lol. Move the other guys to IM, email, myspace, or facebook and take down your dating profile. If those guys don't pan out you can always put your profile back up with only a few clicks. Easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 You asked what we thought, and that's what I think. All girls proclaim to be "not like other girls," and this guy is just trying to stand out somehow. At least he's done his research, lol. Move the other guys to IM, email, myspace, or facebook and take down your dating profile. If those guys don't pan out you can always put your profile back up with only a few clicks. Easy. Yeah, that's what I'm currently in the process of doing. I realized that what you said is true--no point in me having a profile at all anymore if I'm not opening up the doors to anyone else at this point. I never did or said anything to try and proclaim that I'm not like other girls, or whatever. I was just being honest. I think if I didn't put that edit there in my profile it would've been more misleading--it was just the best thing to do at the time while I was still getting to know the other guys enough to add them to my IM, Facebook, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 Yeah, that's what I'm currently in the process of doing. I realized that what you said is true--no point in me having a profile at all anymore if I'm not opening up the doors to anyone else at this point. I never did or said anything to try and proclaim that I'm not like other girls, or whatever. I was just being honest. I think if I didn't put that edit there in my profile it would've been more misleading--it was just the best thing to do at the time while I was still getting to know the other guys enough to add them to my IM, Facebook, etc. Ahhh, that makes more sense. As a man, I do forget sometimes, what an insane number of inquiries women get on dating sites. Most guys won't read anything, they'll just look at your pics and message you, lol. That guy did sound a bit insecure but at least he took the time to read your profile and respond to it genuinely. Link to post Share on other sites
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