russian2 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 so i met a girl a few months ago and we have gone out a few times. i told her how i felt and she said she just came out of a relationship with a friend which didnt end well and didnt want the same thing to happen to us but loves hanging out with me. however, she has started texting me a lot more on a daily basis and seems more interesting. very mixed signals. what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
TheBritishGuy Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Hmm seems like shes interested but treading cautiously which seems about right considering the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russian2 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 ***she has started texting me a lot more on a daily basis and seems more interested****** Link to post Share on other sites
Author russian2 Posted December 26, 2009 Author Share Posted December 26, 2009 bump anyone else Link to post Share on other sites
Flying Goose Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 bump anyone else There's a difference between 'going out' (i.e. being physically and emotionally intimate in an exclusive fashion) and taking it slowly so as to give you both time to know each other, and, being friends until she finds someone better (which is what her words loosely translate to). Her reasoning is an excuse be it conscious (i.e. she's playing you along as a temporary 'boyfriend' until something better comes along) or subconscious (i.e. she'll accidentally fall in love with someone else and love how you just stayed friends, then wonder why you're not happy to see her ignore you whilst she has a real relationship with someone she actually cares about). Ask yourself and answer it in your own mind how your current situation is a friendship (rather than a parasitic relationship where one person benefits at the other's expense). If you truly have a friendship, it must be a poor one to not consider exploring further - and if it is a good friendship, to not explore greater intimacy is to disregard all those feelings you have for each other. Keep being emotionally available to her and she will fail to appreciate it. She will then fail to appreciate you as anything besides a docile friend who hands around her every whim and is still desperately trying to be with her. She doesn't want what you want right now, so you should stop giving her what she wants with nothing in return. You can't be her emotional handkerchief whilst she mopes about some irrelevant past baggage. Everyone has baggage, we only moan about it when we're immature or looking for an excuse to hide behind. Either case, it is not in your interest to stick around as a chum whilst she knows you want more. Move on to more interesting things. The ball's in her court and if she's smart and wants to actually be a true friend/girlfriend, she'll come back to you quickly. Otherwise, forget her. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 she said she just came out of a relationship with a friend which didnt end well and didnt want the same thing to happen to us but loves hanging out with me. Its not mixed signals...what she said here really means this: "I will never like you romantically, but I know if I tell you this you will stop being my company..that I need until I find a guy that actually turns me on." She is using you, dont let her. Get far away from her, it will never happen like you want it to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author russian2 Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) so even though shes been making contact with me a lot more on a daily basis when i dont even engage in it, she isnt interested? and let me say, the relationship she came out of, the guy was friends with her for a few years before dating her. Edited January 4, 2010 by russian2 Link to post Share on other sites
Flying Goose Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 so even though shes been making contact with me a lot more on a daily basis when i dont even engage in it, she isnt interested? That's exactly what I'm saying. She wants male attention until she can find something she considers decent. At this point in time, that's you. and let me say, the relationship she came out of, the guy was friends with her for a few years before dating her. And when that guy asked her out she said yes, which is why they dated. When you asked, she said no which is why you are not dating her. Your situation is not the same. Link to post Share on other sites
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