lost_identity Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 (edited) i have gone through rape,where i was the victim,1 was 19 ,drunk with my bf and his frnds,me and my bf had no physical relations by then. after i passed out n slept.. he raped me in front of his frnds… next morning when i woke there was no one…. well it was my first time…. after he never spoke to me again… i cried n begged to be with me… but he left me,as he was done… i loved him… n he raped me.i belong to a very respectful family n orthodox too.. i couldn`t tell any one… i kept blaming myself for loving a wrong guy… n still never got in relation ship again. i am working 23 now. i work for a widow society … but the scars of that night are still fresh… my body covered by layers of clothes remained naked in a crowd ...touched by unwanted hands.. and beard those forcible lips over my cunt... made me so cruel to my self...I hated myself...i wanted to end... end this lyf n end this never ending slutty nights.... Give me life, give me pain, give me myself again with your pretty wing; a wing can cover all sorts of things. Me and a Gun has been my flashlight; the thing has taken me by the hand and led me down a very, very long recovery path. I found a way to dance with sorrow.so I wore a slinky red thing, does that mean I should spread for you? sometimes I hear my voice and it's been here, silent all these yearsI've got my rape hat on honey but I always could accessorize.Though I can't change what happened, I can choose how to react. And I don't want to spend the rest of my life being bitter and locked up. .... Edited December 25, 2009 by lost_identity Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 I'm sorry about what happened to you. I think it's important for you to seek a therapist or a support group whom you can talk to. It's important for you to be able to confront the past before you can happily move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 A discussion forum is really no place to expose yourself in such a raw and anguished state. you need professional counselling and assistance. I really do believe you can move forward and progress to healing, but this is really not the place to do it. IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost_identity Posted December 27, 2009 Author Share Posted December 27, 2009 Didnt post this to get any sympathy,i posted this cuz i am not able to figure out that,after going through that molestation ,i should keep my faith in relations or not???? why every guy seems to be the same????? is it me who looks like a slut,or is it the world dominated by men who wants to just make a girl ashamed of being born as female!!!!!why cant a guy be just as a frnd,why guy think even i have feelings,whenever i have tried to blow this incident to some guy i trusted,all he thought was ,how could even he bring me to his bed.... ma parents forcing me to get married.... Wondering where I belong, who I am, and why Im here.harder I look, the more I fear...I keep looking at the girl in the MIRROR.That same girl has a past, secrets and regrets,She swore she would never tell, she swore to 4get..But those things she keeps safe in her head, locked away,Slowly leaks out, they want to remain and stay. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 Nobody's giving you sympathy. But it's patently obvious that you have developed views and opinions as a tangential result of your dreadful ordeal. Unsurprisingly. You'll never get these questions answered to any satisfying degree - certainly never on a public discussion forum - and the only time you'll come to terms with the answers, and what's in your head, is when you're assisted by a professional, qualified therapist to do so. I say again - you must seek professional help, because you're in a dreadful pace right now, and that's not right.... It doesn't have to be this way.... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts