An ex wrote a message to the bf. should i delete it..or just get over it ??

[sx_168]

Hi I'm new to this forum, it's great to know where I can share my secrets...without much embarrassment

 

So this is the story. About 1.5 years ago, my bf cheated on me. Well, technically, he sort of cheated on the other girl who he met during the summer but parted to different states. Couple of months later we met and he got into a relationship with me. They had an emotional affair that was sparse (talking phone/gmail, etc) but lasted and faded up until I found out 6 months into our relationship. It was the first time I'd been cheated on and it was insane. However, he was remorse and I know he is a good person, and even the best make mistakes so I decided to give him a second chance. Needless to say we went through a lot. He wasn't the one to admit things, and had hard time admitting to other details. I started snooping, naturally, and had a hard time dealing with him and just female friends. Just recently him and I have gotten to a stage in which we were openly talking about the cheating incident, with him giving some last details of the affair he never discussed prior. I know it's a huge step up, and let me first say that our relationship have found a new power since!

 

However, this story has turned into a "it's not him, it's me."

 

Yes he pushed me to the edge. and being the more possessive, skeptical person I am, I still snoop! I know I can trust him now, but I simply aren't completely doing so! I have faced a lot of deceit in my life with important male figures in my life, so I feel like this is now something I have to work out. I still sometimes snoop around his things, and I am easily jealous of female friends he stays in contact with, even if it's platonic.

 

Recently I went on his facebook and found a message his first ex from years ago saying hi to him, wishing him happy holidays, etc. This is the ex he lost his virginity to, and whom he kept in contact with until recently when I showed I didn't like it ( I remember seeing a fb message he wrote to her right before we dated saying he had 'dreams' about her...so weird).

 

I know he has changed. I know this. But I feel like I want...almost need to delete it. Why? I donno, I don't want them to continue communication?

 

I don't know loveshack, what would you do? I know it's the insecure emotional thing in me saying to do it, but at the same time I just don't like him talking to his first love! Is this so wrong of me?

[an hero]

I feel you certainly have the right to ask him to cut off contact with the ex. I mean you already forgave him once, and he owes it to you to be completely loyal.