Vasto_Lorde Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 So which should I do? Talk directly to her or ask someone else if shes single first? I don't think it's a good idea mate. Dating or attempting to date a co-worker is hardly ever a good idea. Things will be very awkward if she does not reciprocate your advance mate. There is this popular saying that goes, "Don't **** where you eat." Link to post Share on other sites
Golfilla Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 So which should I do? Talk directly to her or ask someone else if shes single first? What you should do is decide whether or not you care about your job, and if the answer is yes, move on and find someone else. If you don't care about your job, go ahead and ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 I would ask someone if she's single. Make sure you ask another woman. That gossip will probably spread a lot faster that way. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 So what is the worst that can happen? well... after checking out the links that anne1707 posted... and especially the Kat McPhee one... yikes! you sound like you definitely could give off that creepy stalker vibe... no offense! so my advice is no... don't ask her out. Or better yet, forget all about her or I can almost guarantee that you will eventually lose your job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 27, 2009 Author Share Posted December 27, 2009 well... after checking out the links that anne1707 posted... and especially the Kat McPhee one... yikes! you sound like you definitely could give off that creepy stalker vibe... no offense! so my advice is no... don't ask her out. Or better yet, forget all about her or I can almost guarantee that you will eventually lose your job. Even if I ask her out just once? How should I word it to her if I do ask her out? If I ask someone else and they say shes single should I have them tell her that I like her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 27, 2009 Author Share Posted December 27, 2009 So anyways if I get a chance and Im alone with her how should I ask her? Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 So anyways if I get a chance and Im alone with her how should I ask her? ok, so you seem hell bent on asking her out... I'm just hoping you learned something from your past, um.... experiences? (kat mcphee again comes to mind!) Try to stop obsessing about it and just ask her... but only once! Make it casual, like maybe you guys can go take your lunch break together or meet after work or something like that. Take is slooooow. And if she says no then just go "eh, her loss" and move on. It's more attractive if you can be confident and almost indifferent about it, but if you act too eager she will most likely get turned off... um.. good luck? Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 27, 2009 Author Share Posted December 27, 2009 ok, so you seem hell bent on asking her out... I'm just hoping you learned something from your past, um.... experiences? (kat mcphee again comes to mind!) Try to stop obsessing about it and just ask her... but only once! Make it casual, like maybe you guys can go take your lunch break together or meet after work or something like that. Take is slooooow. And if she says no then just go "eh, her loss" and move on. It's more attractive if you can be confident and almost indifferent about it, but if you act too eager she will most likely get turned off... um.. good luck? Kinda hard to go to lunch at the same time. So when I ask her out should I ask her for her number, or just ask if she wants to go out sometime? Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 27, 2009 Author Share Posted December 27, 2009 Should I tell her I think she's pretty and hand her a note instead? Link to post Share on other sites
rateyes Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 Should I tell her I think she's pretty and hand her a note instead? you dont listen do you? just ask her if she wants to get coffee or lunch or something. dont ****in do a note thing or osmething romantic...you need to atleast hang out with her once before you ask her out. if you cant even be friends, that will save you some time and hurt of askin her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 I don't like coffee. Asking her if she wants to go to lunch dinner is the same as asking her out cause it's obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Golfilla Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 I don't like coffee. Asking her if she wants to go to lunch dinner is the same as asking her out cause it's obvious. FFS, just have a meal together on your lunch break or something, and see if anything develops. On second thought, don't bother. If you're that indecisive about the type of date, it's unlikely you'll be able to make the transition to a relationship if it gets that far. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 FFS, just have a meal together on your lunch break or something, and see if anything develops. On second thought, don't bother. If you're that indecisive about the type of date, it's unlikely you'll be able to make the transition to a relationship if it gets that far. What I mean is that we only get half hour lunches, and we dont work in the same dept at the store. Almost impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 I don't like coffee. Asking her if she wants to go to lunch dinner is the same as asking her out cause it's obvious. of course it's asking her out... that's what you want to do right? I'm just saying try to do it in a casual way... ask if she'd like to grab a drink or a bite to eat after work. Play it cooooool. Or maybe you should just try to get to know her first, chat her up at work a little or whatever... then you can get a feel for how open she is to spending more time with you. Just try to stay relaxed.. you seem a little OCD and I don't mean that to sound harsh... because a lot of of us can get like that. Just step back, figure out what what you want with this girl and go for it... if it doesn't work well then, that's life and you move on... again... good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 of course it's asking her out... that's what you want to do right? I'm just saying try to do it in a casual way... ask if she'd like to grab a drink or a bite to eat after work. Play it cooooool. Or maybe you should just try to get to know her first, chat her up at work a little or whatever... then you can get a feel for how open she is to spending more time with you. Just try to stay relaxed.. you seem a little OCD and I don't mean that to sound harsh... because a lot of of us can get like that. Just step back, figure out what what you want with this girl and go for it... if it doesn't work well then, that's life and you move on... again... good luck! Should I find out if she has a bf first before chatting her up? I dont get a lot of time to talk to her. You might recall this summer that hot chick in my Pilates class I asked out. That went really smooth. I find it key is to catch them off guard cause if you dont then a girls b*tch radar will go up if she can tell your hitting on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Golfilla Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 Should I find out if she has a bf first before chatting her up? For the last time, 'NO'. Just find something casual and fun the two of you can do together and invite her along. You're really overanalysing this way too much and it's not going to help you. If she doesn't want to be with you, she'll tell you, and that's all you need to know. At this stage, it doesn't matter whether or not she has a boyfriend. It's one step at a time, and you haven't reached that step yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 For the last time, 'NO'. Just find something casual and fun the two of you can do together and invite her along. You're really overanalysing this way too much and it's not going to help you. If she doesn't want to be with you, she'll tell you, and that's all you need to know. At this stage, it doesn't matter whether or not she has a boyfriend. It's one step at a time, and you haven't reached that step yet. What is something fun? Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 The OP is either a stalker or a troll. He has started several threads along these lines in the past and if he was telling the truth in those then he has serious issues in maintaining appropriate boundaries and handling rejection. The repeated one line questions in this thread however just make me think troll. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 The OP is either a stalker or a troll. He has started several threads along these lines in the past and if he was telling the truth in those then he has serious issues in maintaining appropriate boundaries and handling rejection. The repeated one line questions in this thread however just make me think troll. Im not a troll. Im asking a legit question. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 If Im too nervous to ask her out, or if I can't get much privacy is it ok to write a short note to her and give it to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 When I ask her is it ok to tell her I think shes pretty or cute? Link to post Share on other sites
thatguy85 Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 So I haven't read the whole thread but before you ask her if she's single, or if she wants to go out with you let me tell you something. This is what you do. It works for me very often: Joke around with her, and get her laughing. Make her feel comfortable with you. Then leave it alone. Give it some time, and then next time you see her she will be expecting another funny/friendly encounter... Joke around and be friendly with her again (slight teasing of her is a plus)... and then this is the KEY - Compliment and Tell her that she should hang out with you sometime. Here is an example of how it works: [You now have her smiling and looking at you after a few witty comments that had her laughing] You say: You are a cool girl, we should hang out sometime. If you've done it right, you have your answer to every question you have. Whether she's single, whether shes into you, etc. It would be very obvious if she wasn't interested.. read her body language when you say that. Even if she isn't interested... no big deal because you didn't make yourself look like a high-school kid asking a girl out to Prom. Then again, if she is interested, even somewhat... it will also be obvious, and then you can set something up like "well me and a few friends are going out for drinks on Friday, you should come with me". Be confident, it's easy... and you won't get in trouble with your boss (unless this girl is her daughter). Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 So writing her a short note with my #4 wouldn't be good then? Its easier than asking them out verbally. btw the boss called me wanted to know if I could work a couple hours tonight. Im not going in, too nervous and need to know what Im going to say to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted December 28, 2009 Author Share Posted December 28, 2009 Would it help to take a Xanax before I go to work? I just get really nervous when I wanna ask a girl out. Link to post Share on other sites
tkgirl Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Would it help to take a Xanax before I go to work? I just get really nervous when I wanna ask a girl out. my friend, it is time you make some decisions for yourself or you will never get anywhere in life.... Link to post Share on other sites
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