i'm Conflicted .. help

[conflicted]

Ok i'm going to try to give a VERy breief overview of the situation:

 

I was with my ex for 8 years we started dating when we were 15 we started off on the bad foot he lied a lot and we have broken up like 6 times in the past 8 years everytime it was him saying he didnt know what he wanted... well we ended up having a baby 4 years ago and then still went through a lot of tough times. then things got better the past 3 years. we got maried a year ago and i got pregnet again. well then while i was pregent he started talking to this girl at his work outside of work they were saying i love u and crap i found out b/c he broke up with me when i was 9 months pregent sayign "he didnt know if he wanted to be married, he felt forced to marry me etc. and then i heard her messages on his answering machine (i've nevefr been able to trust him much) well we decidecd to seperate and then we split up.

 

after he went crazy one night broke into my house and read all my emails he found out that me and this guy frien d i have are getting closer. so all of a sudden my ex is dying to have me back. he tells me that he quit tlaking to that girl (whichi found out was b/c she is married also and her mom forbid her from talkign to him anymore ) he claimes he has realized that he is in lvoe wih me an dwould never leave me again he claims he is ready to change and be a more loving father and husband and all of a sudden he is wearing hi s wedding ring again, crying to me tring to be the man of my dreams

 

im conflicted b/c A BIG part of m e knows i cant go back i mean history repeats itself hel'll most likely leave me again and the kids will be older and get hurt more. Also i think he might just be saying he'll change b/c he doesnt wnat me with this other guy etc. i dont konw i also dotn think i'll ever be albe to trust him and thats not healthy. we never had a healthy realationship. but i'm still confuseda nd i feel guilty because he acts like hes so in love with me etc.

 

any comments? thanks

[maxmuscle]

Conflicted,

 

Your boyfriend has brought alot of pain in your life. You will forever have ties with him because of the kids. Its tough! You have to be honest with yourself; Do you really want to be with him? Can you ever trust him again? How many times are you going to trust him with your feelings to only get disappointed time and time again? You seem like a very nice lady. I would date and give other people opportunities that deserve it. And if you ex is really sorry and sincere, he will not give up the fight to get you back. Make him suffer and if he is still around, then think about a second chance.

[mjk]

Hey Conflicted,

 

You need a break. A time and space break from this guy! He is acting weird about you. You both got together when you were 15, a baby at 19, and now you're 23? You need time to yourself also.

 

Sounds like he hasn't left his childhood and it is bringing you down big time. So...take some big time...away from him.

 

Sometimes when I meet a girl for the first time, well...I don't always ask this question the first time! I'll ask her "What do you think is important in a relationship? Love-Trust-or Honesty?"

 

My opinion is that if the answer isn't "Trust" then there is nothing there. I have plenty of opposite sex relationships (Ex's) that I "Love", or "I'm Honest To", but I wouldn't "Trust" them with a 10 foot pole.

 

To me, if you don't have trust in a relationship, on either side, there should be no relationship. Oh Yeah, don't stick up for him because he told you how he felt when you where 9 months pregnant! WHAT A JERK!

 

If you read your last paragraph, you have already answered your own thread! Don't feel guilty, feel free, free rom the chains that bind you to someone who doesn't care enough to be there thru "thick and thin"

 

Hey....you're young, You have two children. Yeah it won't be easy but will it be any easier staying, or trying to stay with him? You Decide!