does she really want to be just friends?

[dream]

Kind of a long complicated story so i'll give you facts..

 

Ive read all the stuff regardin the dreaded "lets just be friends".. it always comes at the least expected times..

 

A little background:

this girl works for my business partner, he forbids his employees from talking to me because i own a similiar company (an he knows im a slut), but me and my business partner are friends and talk about everything.. i usually stay away from his employees.

 

I saw her from time to time at clubs, i actually wanted her the first time i layed eyes on her, but never acted or said anything remotely close.. i always treated her like my partners employee even though she is the girl of my dreams.

 

The opening act:

she invited me to go to an open bar.. i said yes, and it was her and her sister. (which she later tried to hook me up with but her sister is rather large..) i nicely dismissed that idea as impossible..

 

she then invited me out to the same open bar a week later.. i assumed her sister would be there again, but this time she showed up by herself.. we drank, i was the usual boss's friend.. then she said "did you see me naked at the club?" im like what? no i didnt notice.. then all went silent and time froze. i said maybe my mind wasnt in the gutter when i looked at you..

 

Total surprise:

After the open bar i was ready for a night of cable and some lotion.. when she offered to come in and watch a movie with me? at 1:00 am? i was totally caught off guard, but let her in.. made her a little snack, then she "fell asleep?" i fought every manly temptation to pull out the crawling spiders, but didnt touch her..

 

She came over again the next night, and again pretended to fall asleep 10 minutes after she got there (shes sleeping in my bed next to me)... this time i wasnt letting her off so easy and rubbed her butt and back. she let me, but stopped me when i tried to go under her clothes.. steamy? lol..

 

The smack in the face:

a week later she comes back from new york and i put together through intuition and logic that she went with some guy and f'd him.. i felt like an ass.. im like what a ho, i shoulda did it when i had the chance.. then she tells me shes confused, she just broke up with her bf.. i hadnt invested any feelings at this point so i gave her her space..

 

a few days later i decided to test her so i said .. "me and my friend are going on a double date.. i want you to come.. " she said "i just want to let you know that i just want to be friends" .. i said "i dont believe you" she said "what makes you think i want to be more than friends".. i said (from research on this matter".. F--- OFF i have enough friends, im not the type of guy that hangs around with a girl that dosent like him, i have better things to do, im a whole package, you get all of me or nothing.. i said imagine working for a company where they told you you had no chance for a promotion... we then went into that dreaded conversation that guys should never have with girls about girls vs guys.. and why cant guys and girls be friends.. what if she were gay.. bla bla bla.. i held my ground and told her i like to connect with someone on different levels, not just one.. im not interested in a relationship that has no opportunity for growth, id rather not talk to her at all.. i told her i want nothing to do with her, and she can be friends with someone else. .. im all set..

 

What happened next:

she said "ok i take it back, forget i said it.. " im like its too late, the damage is already done.. then she starts begging!.. i played it then told her id give her one more chance.. we go out and every time we go she gives me just enough to keep me there, she still sleeps over my house and each time she lets me get farther and farther up her shirt.. although still i didnt make it to a nipple!

 

The moral of the story:

i like her alot, im not looking for just sex with her, i have bootycalls for that. shes interesting on several levels, but i do need a physical connection along with friendship.. not friends with benefits but something more.. much more..

 

 

The Positive Facts:

1) She calls me every waking minute of the day

2) If i dont call her back she gets mad and curious..

2a) She does that "falling over you" touching when telling me something funny..

3) Shes lying to her boss and talking to me behind his back. all this for friends?

4) We have to sneak around.. again.. is it worth the risk as a friend?

5) she laughs at all my jokes

6) she follows me around the clubs

7) she always sits close to me

8) she said "i like being around you"

9) she got very jelous when i called off meeting her for "an unexpected phonecall" and she showed up at my house to see what i was really doing, and ended up sleeping over.

10) i use not talking to her as a threat, and it works every time.

11) i asked her if i made her unconfortable when i touch her she said no.

12) i held her hand in the movies, she switched hands but kept my hand in hers.

13) she went out with another guy but felt obligated to tell me that it was a "guy" but not a "guy"

14) shes always smiling at me and always seems happy to see me.

15) despite the surface, we act like a couple.

16) she dosent get mad when i do gental touches..

 

The negative facts:

1) she hadnt made any forward gestures to me.. (like grabbing my hand)

2) when sleeping over her back is always turned to me

3) she crosses her arms alot

4) i always feel like im forcing her to hold hands

5) gee, thats all i can think of..

 

ive been with girls like this before, some have a real hard shell but then you crack it and they turn in to raging animals.. not sure about this though.. but i do feel that she will eventually have no choice but to open up..

 

so im confused.. i dont want to be suckered into being her friend.. i need something more than that right now.. i think shes saying she just wants to be friends to protect herself incase i try to diss her or brag about getting my friends' employee.. but i could be dillusional.. please explain..

[mjk]

Drdream,

 

This girl sounds funky. Get out. Both from her and from your own thought of (I'm a slut). A girl can sniff a player out from a mile away. I don't know how old you are but we all go thru the "I'm a slut" phase. The only problem there is we are only going attract a similar type person.

 

Look at the PSYCHO behavior she is giving out. And you. I'd say just put "Mini-Me" away for awhile and let this one go. Try to work on looking at girl's inner attraction instead of just her physical one, at least at first.

 

She's doggin' you constantly and when you come close...you get a big shove! Why let yourself be pushed. Why not just walk away?

[dream]

thanks for your replies.. yes you are what you attract and i totally agree. she may be a slut too..

 

some of her behavior is questionable, i dont doubt that she would be the type to sit outside my house and watch who goes in...

 

il say this for the 4th time!

 

im looking for something more than sex!! i like her alot, she is everything i could ask for in a woman. im a slut only because i can be.. im looking for a relationship.. sluts are just to pass the time away..