MM thinking of going back home!!!!

[2sunny]

poor baby has to choose between two woman who are waiting around for him to decide... enough to make any man so sick.

 

maybe he is this way because all the women in his life allow it? cut him off at the knees - choose for him and start living again... get on with life!

[crystal_lostheart]

poor baby has to choose between two woman who are waiting around for him to decide... enough to make any man so sick.

 

maybe he is this way because all the women in his life allow it? cut him off at the knees - choose for him and start living again... get on with life!

 

As I said previously I am not waiting around for him and I'm not wanting him to choose. And after another stupid drinking bout from him today, I booked a ticket to go on a holiday.

 

I felt upset at myself for listening to his rubbish again. But something stopped me from falling again. Maybe the support from everyone here and my friends being really hard on me helped as well. And maybe I'm just tired of it all. I definitely fell stronger than this time last year. And yes there are single men out there (just to talk to for now) that are really nice and non complicated (as I discovered NYE)!!!!

 

I think when you are out of all the drama, even for a few days, you see that life just goes on and you slowly pull yourself away from all the comotion.

That's how I'm feeling anyway.

 

So I'm looking forward to my holiday with my best friend. Something I haven't done whilst being with him.

 

Thanks again for the advice.

[Got it]

Will he divorce if I'm not in the picture?? Hmmmm... probably not... I really don't know? He says he wants to be with me but just doesn't know how to go about it.... Therapy - I tried to get him to go, even set up an appointment for him but he didn't go.... He really doesn't help the situation either.

 

Crystal - This is his situation. He has to want the divorce, you cannot hold his hand, taking care of it for him. If he does not divorce on his own then that does not bode well for the future. He has to own his decisions and do what he feels is best for him. If he doesn't know then he needs to figure that out. Right now he is wanting to live in limboland and have others decide things for him. He has to man up and figure that out himself.

 

If he doesn't know how to do something, then one researches it, if one isn't sure what they want to do then they figure it out.

 

You need to look at his actions now. Look at the Reality. What is it telling you? You have to accept what his actions are telling you and either accept them or not but have to decide what is best for you.

 

In my case, after dday, he went into a tailspin and was a complete deer in the headlights and so I bowed out. I needed him to decide what he needed to do without me in the picture. He needed to deal with reality, not have me there to soften the edges and not help continue any limbo stage. That isn't fair to anyone involved and I knew I was not there to be his bandaid. This was his mess and he needed to own it and fix it.

[Hazyhead]

Crystal - This is his situation. He has to want the divorce, you cannot hold his hand, taking care of it for him. If he does not divorce on his own then that does not bode well for the future. He has to own his decisions and do what he feels is best for him. If he doesn't know then he needs to figure that out. Right now he is wanting to live in limboland and have others decide things for him. He has to man up and figure that out himself.

 

If he doesn't know how to do something, then one researches it, if one isn't sure what they want to do then they figure it out.

 

You need to look at his actions now. Look at the Reality. What is it telling you? You have to accept what his actions are telling you and either accept them or not but have to decide what is best for you.

 

In my case, after dday, he went into a tailspin and was a complete deer in the headlights and so I bowed out. I needed him to decide what he needed to do without me in the picture. He needed to deal with reality, not have me there to soften the edges and not help continue any limbo stage. That isn't fair to anyone involved and I knew I was not there to be his bandaid. This was his mess and he needed to own it and fix it.

 

I agree with this. Crystal, it sounds like he is spiralling downwards, or trying to anyway. Let him. Let him hit rock bottom if necessary without you there to pick up the pieces. He can't decide? That will encourage a decision and when he makes it it will be from a clearer mind. Don't pander to him, let his mum do that and let him see what life is like without you there to support him.

[2sunny]

how perfectly predictable that he will try to get your attention by more bad behavior. ignore him. you don't need his negative energy - he has other people to dump that on - which makes me wonder... why isn't he asking his W to come to his rescue? oh ya, maybe SHE has a boundary too that tells him "no more." either way, he's being a big baby, which doesn't look attractive from my perspective.

 

stay strong - go have fun on vacation!

 

ps... he will create MORE drama - expect it to escalate - just don't participate by acting on or over reacting to this drama HE'S creating. he's making it - he can rectify it himself. if EVERYONE stops rescuing him from his chaos - he might be forced to change a few things.

[jj33]

Crystal you sound really strong which is great. He has finally gotten you to the point where you are not mooning over his every word. You see him for what he is - a man who is lost and unable to take responsibility for the decisions he makes in his own life.

 

Keep getting on with your life. When he sees that you are no longer manipulated by his actions - good bad or pitiful, he will have no choice but to put on his big boy pants and get on with it.

 

Happy new year

[crystal_lostheart]

Crystal - This is his situation. He has to want the divorce, you cannot hold his hand, taking care of it for him. If he does not divorce on his own then that does not bode well for the future. He has to own his decisions and do what he feels is best for him. If he doesn't know then he needs to figure that out. Right now he is wanting to live in limboland and have others decide things for him. He has to man up and figure that out himself.

 

If he doesn't know how to do something, then one researches it, if one isn't sure what they want to do then they figure it out.

 

You need to look at his actions now. Look at the Reality. What is it telling you? You have to accept what his actions are telling you and either accept them or not but have to decide what is best for you.

 

In my case, after dday, he went into a tailspin and was a complete deer in the headlights and so I bowed out. I needed him to decide what he needed to do without me in the picture. He needed to deal with reality, not have me there to soften the edges and not help continue any limbo stage. That isn't fair to anyone involved and I knew I was not there to be his bandaid. This was his mess and he needed to own it and fix it.

 

You are so right. Stupidly for so long I was his bandaid. I won't do it anymore. I nearly fell for it the other day but stopped myself... the first time i really WANTED to step back and stay away. I just kept thinking of all the things that have happened over the years that I can't keep making excuses for anymore.

 

We never want to believe that when someone 'loves' us they will hurt us. But he hurts and he hurts bad and I'm just trying to face that now. That in his eyes, although he says I am everything to him and he loves me as much as his son, that's why this is so hard for him..... it's all BS. It's just rubbish. His actions deep down don't match his words. He's weak.

[crystal_lostheart]

how perfectly predictable that he will try to get your attention by more bad behavior. ignore him. you don't need his negative energy - he has other people to dump that on - which makes me wonder... why isn't he asking his W to come to his rescue? oh ya, maybe SHE has a boundary too that tells him "no more." either way, he's being a big baby, which doesn't look attractive from my perspective.

 

stay strong - go have fun on vacation!

 

ps... he will create MORE drama - expect it to escalate - just don't participate by acting on or over reacting to this drama HE'S creating. he's making it - he can rectify it himself. if EVERYONE stops rescuing him from his chaos - he might be forced to change a few things.

 

And let is escalate... I'm so exhausted ... I can't be stuffed with him right now ... he's just drinking .... feeling sorry for himself ...

It's more me now .. you know, facing the truth about what a stupid person I have been and to think this was going to work? I could make it work ... I believed that for SOOOO long. And b/c it's so raw and hurtful right now, I still have moments of 'what if?'. I get so angry at myself for that.

[fooled once]

And let is escalate... I'm so exhausted ... I can't be stuffed with him right now ... he's just drinking .... feeling sorry for himself ...

It's more me now .. you know, facing the truth about what a stupid person I have been and to think this was going to work? I could make it work ... I believed that for SOOOO long. And b/c it's so raw and hurtful right now, I still have moments of 'what if?'. I get so angry at myself for that.

 

You are not stupid ((hug)) don't say that. you just wanted to believe in him, in 'love', in a life with him.

 

And he isn't capable of giving you that. He isn't capable of being the man, the person, you need in your life.

 

I mean, him getting drunk? Seriously - if anyone has a reason to go get wasted, it would be you (and no, I don't think drinking solves anything -- I am not a drinker - lived with an alcoholic for too many years to ever want to drink). You are not his mom, you are not his therapist.

 

You are/were someone he cared about -- YET he had no problem (or so it seems) hurting you and making you start to feel like you are stupid.

 

You wanted something -- which is now really a fantasy -- and you WILL find what you want out there -- just not with him.

 

Stay strong - don't get mixed up in HIS issues, HIS drama. Focus on YOU, healing you, healing from the relationship. When the time is right, get yourself out there and find someone who can be true to YOU - and just you. Someone who will treat you with the respect and dignity YOU deserve.

 

((hug))

[crystal_lostheart]

Today I struggled to even get up out of bed ... I hate feeling like this but I just tell myself there is much worse out there so get up and move on.

 

What helped? Honestly this morning as I was in bed playing games on the iphone, I thought I would log onto LS and then I found all these encouraging responses.

 

Just wanted to say 'thank you'. It really, really helped and now today seems that little bit better.

 

This forum is a good place for support.

 

You know, when you put yourself in the position as an OW, you already lose a part of yourself. Your self esteem dwindles and you grasp onto anything that makes you feel special by him.

He makes you feel special, like you're his everything. You believe that it will work. You put all of your energy into it for all the WRONG reasons and then slowly the cracks show. You see the lies but you ignore and make excuses for him. Slowly even more your self esteem drops more into that pit. You watch everyone start hurting, the BS, family, kids, friends etc. Everyone starts having an opinion and because you are in the prime seat to be judged, you're opinion really doesn't matter to anyone else. And while all of it could have been avoided, you gave everything to someone who just constantly let you down. Why?

 

So I guess what makes it hard when the A is over is that the OW has lost a lot of her self identity. And now without the addiction of him, you truly feel alone and withdrawn.

 

It's a bad place to be in. But I am very hopeful not to let my mind play tricks on me and to just move on.

 

This is hard but it's not the worse place I could be in and that's why I have hope that I will look back on this and see it as a very distant memory.

[whichwayisup]

Okay, so now is the time to pump up your ego and build your self esteem.

 

What can you do to make that happen?

 

My suggestions? DO SOMETHING really fun with your bestfriend, laugh and be silly. Just enjoy life! Pamper yourself, get a haircut, go shopping, get a makeover, anything that will make you feel fantastic.

[Brokenlady]

You know, when you put yourself in the position as an OW, you already lose a part of yourself. Your self esteem dwindles and you grasp onto anything that makes you feel special by him.

He makes you feel special, like you're his everything. You believe that it will work. You put all of your energy into it for all the WRONG reasons and then slowly the cracks show. You see the lies but you ignore and make excuses for him. Slowly even more your self esteem drops more into that pit. You watch everyone start hurting, the BS, family, kids, friends etc. Everyone starts having an opinion and because you are in the prime seat to be judged, you're opinion really doesn't matter to anyone else. And while all of it could have been avoided, you gave everything to someone who just constantly let you down. Why?

 

So I guess what makes it hard when the A is over is that the OW has lost a lot of her self identity. And now without the addiction of him, you truly feel alone and withdrawn.

 

It's a bad place to be in. But I am very hopeful not to let my mind play tricks on me and to just move on.

 

This is hard but it's not the worse place I could be in and that's why I have hope that I will look back on this and see it as a very distant memory.

 

I know exactly how you feel. I can hardly believe how I let my self worth get wrapped around this man who'd only consider my feelings as an afterthought. I'm sorry you're in pain. But hey, we are in it together.

[nadiaj2727]

Hello Crystal, I have read your thread and I'm proud of how you're taking actions to distance yourself from this guy. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote and I know it hurts right now but I just wanted to let you know that it will get better! Look to yourself and no one else, especially not him, and you'll find your way out.

 

Quite awhile ago I was in an A with a MM who I initially thought was the love of my life. He moved out of his W's house and into a temporary place, owned by one of his friends. Like your MM he didn't initiate divorce proceedings, he didn't tell his W or anyone else about me, he felt torn and confused and guilty, and he didn't even have any kids. He had beem married for a long time and he claimed not to love her but in the end, it didn't matter his reasons, he wasn't doing anything to end the M. For me it had been only a few months since he'd moved out so I don't know how you could do it for 10 months!! Although at first he didn't even tell me he was married and then he said he was separated, and then I found out that meant "separate wings of their house," yeah right, so I guess it all added up and I actually waited a long time for him too. He would go back to their house to do chores and "fix it up for selling," blah blah blah, and, looking back with time and emotional distance, I am quite sure he was there to test the waters of his M and see if he might want to go back home or stay separated etc.

 

What I found out was that he was really a child. He had to lean on me to do anything. Like you I bought a house during our A and he wanted to move in with me; in hindsight, one of my only smart decisions was not letting him. I was just as wrong as he was, I was engaged when we first hooked up and I left my fiance for him. Over time I had a lot of guilt and remorse for both my ex fiance and his wife. What we did wasn't right to either of them and I think karma came back to bite me in the butt. Because what I was left with was no prize at all, but a little confused boy! I think I myself was confused and immature to ever be with him, but, in my head at the time, I thought, at least I did what it took to be with him, I backed up my words with actions, and there he was sitting on the fence.

 

I called it off with him and he reacted the exact same way your MM is reacting. I would think it was the same guy except it seems to be their M.O. from what I read on here. He called me multiple times in the middle of the night, literally crying, claiming he had an ulcer, begging me to take him back. But I had put up with too much, I had decided I was better than that. At one point I had asked him things like, when are you going to file for divorce? When are you going to tell your wife? But after awhile I thought, ewww, look at myself. I will tell you this, no woman should have to beg a guy to be with her, and she definitely shouldn't ask him to leave another woman to be with her.

 

I didn't want him to be with me because I had forced him or even "helped" him or even "stood by him" while he divorced his wife. That was their business and I began to see I should never have let myself be in that picture. So at first I told him what some have advised you here to tell him, leave me alone until your divorced is finalized. I had a bunch of mixed emotions and part of me thought I loved him and hoped he would get divorced while part of me knew I deserved better and felt bad for everything we had done. It was so hard at first, I had to make myself ignore him, although I wanted to talk to him. After awhile I gained clarity and it sure helped that he acted like such an immature, selfish toddler when I told him I didn't want to be with him until he was divorced, because seeing that helped me realize even more that I no longer wanted to be with him at all.

 

The only thing that worked for me is realizing that he had been disrespecting me, that I deserved better, to get mad at him and to tell him to leave me alone and actually mean it, in word and in action. I did everything to cut contact-- I didn't answer his calls and I told him that if he left me a voicemail I would forward it to his wife. I changed my personal email address and I told him that if he emailed me at work (we worked together), I would forward it to both his wife and our company's director. Then I went about finding a new job and left for the new job. They say time heals all wounds and it is really only through time and distance and love for myself that I have gotten over that horrible experience. I was in therapy for over a year and I learned a lot about myself... what might be most helpful for your experience right now is that that was not real love, it was a sick mind game. Both xMM and I had been very selfish and treated our significant others badly and he treated me badly; the situation was just so bad that nothing good could ever have come out of it. Still it hurt like hell. These things aren't easy and all we can do is learn from them and love ourselves. I was not loving myself when I was with him. Ask yourself if you would ever have imagined yourself being in a relationship like this, and instead of imagining what you wanted it to be or what you hope it could be like, think of it realistically how it is right now, and the next time he calls, think, what's the point? Every time you talk to him you are keeping the status quo and staying in this relationship that you obviously know is not the one you want or deserve.

 

In short it sounds like your guy is on the fence and you can't be on the fence at all anymore. I agree with NoIDidnt's post that this isn't so much about him wanting to see his son for Christmas Eve as about you realizing that he is still on the fence and he isn't sure he doesn't want to stay married. You have to decide you deserve better and you won't be with him until he has done what it takes to be with you the right way. And if your experience is like mine, with time and distance and strength you will see that you don't want him anyway, there are men out there that know what they want, stick to their word, and follow through with their actions.

 

Sorry that my post is so long but I hope I've been able to help. I have been where you are and it's no fun at all but you can make it through. It sounds to me like you're on the right track so just stay strong and think about yourself, not him. Good luck.

[WalkInThePark]

Crystal, you should try to find the book on affairs by Emily Brown and read the description of the Split Self affair. I think that explains very well why this man cannot choose. It does not help to qualify his actions as selfish. The best thing he can do is see a therapist to understand what really is going which will help him to either commit 200% to his M or leave the M.

 

I understand your anger and pain. I think you should take a distance but do it with love.

[Angel1111]

The only thing that worked for me is realizing that he had been disrespecting me, that I deserved better, to get mad at him and to tell him to leave me alone and actually mean it, in word and in action.

 

This is the heart of it - it's disrespectful to you, and to your relationship with him. By having the affair, he already disrespected his wife and his marriage in every way possible, but he compounds the problem by doing the same to you.

 

Today I had to listen to xMM talk about some birthday thing his wife did for him about 15 yrs ago. We were in a conference meeting. I don't think it even occurs to him to think about how much it sickens me to hear him talk as though everything is just great between him and his wife. How it would all fall down around his ears if she knew that he cheated on her for 5 yrs. It truly nauseates me. If he had been the one to end our affair, I would've had more respect for him. Sorry, I just needed to vent. Being with a MM is such total crap. Having been with a MM who owns the company you work for is even more crap. So much for being naive and stupid. Crystal, if your MM isn't making up his mind, make it up for him.

[crystal_lostheart]

Hello Crystal, I have read your thread and I'm proud of how you're taking actions to distance yourself from this guy. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote and I know it hurts right now but I just wanted to let you know that it will get better! Look to yourself and no one else, especially not him, and you'll find your way out.

 

Quite awhile ago I was in an A with a MM who I initially thought was the love of my life. He moved out of his W's house and into a temporary place, owned by one of his friends. Like your MM he didn't initiate divorce proceedings, he didn't tell his W or anyone else about me, he felt torn and confused and guilty, and he didn't even have any kids. He had beem married for a long time and he claimed not to love her but in the end, it didn't matter his reasons, he wasn't doing anything to end the M. For me it had been only a few months since he'd moved out so I don't know how you could do it for 10 months!! Although at first he didn't even tell me he was married and then he said he was separated, and then I found out that meant "separate wings of their house," yeah right, so I guess it all added up and I actually waited a long time for him too. He would go back to their house to do chores and "fix it up for selling," blah blah blah, and, looking back with time and emotional distance, I am quite sure he was there to test the waters of his M and see if he might want to go back home or stay separated etc.

 

What I found out was that he was really a child. He had to lean on me to do anything. Like you I bought a house during our A and he wanted to move in with me; in hindsight, one of my only smart decisions was not letting him. I was just as wrong as he was, I was engaged when we first hooked up and I left my fiance for him. Over time I had a lot of guilt and remorse for both my ex fiance and his wife. What we did wasn't right to either of them and I think karma came back to bite me in the butt. Because what I was left with was no prize at all, but a little confused boy! I think I myself was confused and immature to ever be with him, but, in my head at the time, I thought, at least I did what it took to be with him, I backed up my words with actions, and there he was sitting on the fence.

 

I called it off with him and he reacted the exact same way your MM is reacting. I would think it was the same guy except it seems to be their M.O. from what I read on here. He called me multiple times in the middle of the night, literally crying, claiming he had an ulcer, begging me to take him back. But I had put up with too much, I had decided I was better than that. At one point I had asked him things like, when are you going to file for divorce? When are you going to tell your wife? But after awhile I thought, ewww, look at myself. I will tell you this, no woman should have to beg a guy to be with her, and she definitely shouldn't ask him to leave another woman to be with her.

 

I didn't want him to be with me because I had forced him or even "helped" him or even "stood by him" while he divorced his wife. That was their business and I began to see I should never have let myself be in that picture. So at first I told him what some have advised you here to tell him, leave me alone until your divorced is finalized. I had a bunch of mixed emotions and part of me thought I loved him and hoped he would get divorced while part of me knew I deserved better and felt bad for everything we had done. It was so hard at first, I had to make myself ignore him, although I wanted to talk to him. After awhile I gained clarity and it sure helped that he acted like such an immature, selfish toddler when I told him I didn't want to be with him until he was divorced, because seeing that helped me realize even more that I no longer wanted to be with him at all.

 

The only thing that worked for me is realizing that he had been disrespecting me, that I deserved better, to get mad at him and to tell him to leave me alone and actually mean it, in word and in action. I did everything to cut contact-- I didn't answer his calls and I told him that if he left me a voicemail I would forward it to his wife. I changed my personal email address and I told him that if he emailed me at work (we worked together), I would forward it to both his wife and our company's director. Then I went about finding a new job and left for the new job. They say time heals all wounds and it is really only through time and distance and love for myself that I have gotten over that horrible experience. I was in therapy for over a year and I learned a lot about myself... what might be most helpful for your experience right now is that that was not real love, it was a sick mind game. Both xMM and I had been very selfish and treated our significant others badly and he treated me badly; the situation was just so bad that nothing good could ever have come out of it. Still it hurt like hell. These things aren't easy and all we can do is learn from them and love ourselves. I was not loving myself when I was with him. Ask yourself if you would ever have imagined yourself being in a relationship like this, and instead of imagining what you wanted it to be or what you hope it could be like, think of it realistically how it is right now, and the next time he calls, think, what's the point? Every time you talk to him you are keeping the status quo and staying in this relationship that you obviously know is not the one you want or deserve.

 

In short it sounds like your guy is on the fence and you can't be on the fence at all anymore. I agree with NoIDidnt's post that this isn't so much about him wanting to see his son for Christmas Eve as about you realizing that he is still on the fence and he isn't sure he doesn't want to stay married. You have to decide you deserve better and you won't be with him until he has done what it takes to be with you the right way. And if your experience is like mine, with time and distance and strength you will see that you don't want him anyway, there are men out there that know what they want, stick to their word, and follow through with their actions.

 

Sorry that my post is so long but I hope I've been able to help. I have been where you are and it's no fun at all but you can make it through. It sounds to me like you're on the right track so just stay strong and think about yourself, not him. Good luck.

 

Thank you. This morning I woke confused. I spoke to my mom about it and she clarified things as a beautiful mom does .... It won't work Crystal she said, so let go completely. You don't understand him and he doesn't understand you. And you will NEVER understand each other. It will only get worse. Keep Walking. End of story. Oh and I love you 'my girl' ... she's awesome. There was a little bit more to it but basically hard and fast as a mother knows her daughter best. It's what I needed to hear.

 

Hard but VERY true

[Angel1111]

How thoughtless and cruel that was....I bet you wanted to throw something at him and start screaming like a mad woman.

 

ha! ha! Not exactly. I guess I would want to throw something if I still cared a great deal but I don't. It just made me want to walk out of the meeting. Our affair has been over for almost a year so I'm sure he isn't concerned about whether his words mean anything to me or not. But it surprises me that he doesn't wonder what it would make me think of him when he says things like that. A few weeks ago, I suggested to him that maybe once their kids are out of the house, he and his wife could get reaquainted. He said that would never happen. Yet he says things like that in a meeting - it's so pretentious. He seems to want everyone to think their marriage is so great. Boy, could I fill them in....

[crystal_lostheart]

Crystal, you should try to find the book on affairs by Emily Brown and read the description of the Split Self affair. I think that explains very well why this man cannot choose. It does not help to qualify his actions as selfish. The best thing he can do is see a therapist to understand what really is going which will help him to either commit 200% to his M or leave the M.

 

I understand your anger and pain. I think you should take a distance but do it with love.

 

Thanks. I have read a few books already on this 'This A is Over!', 'Will he ever really leave her for me?'

A lot of the signs were not good. Wish I had of taken note of them back then

[Angel1111]

Thank you. This morning I woke confused. I spoke to my mom about it and she clarified things as a beautiful mom does .... It won't work Crystal she said, so let go completely. You don't understand him and he doesn't understand you. And you will NEVER understand each other. It will only get worse. Keep Walking. End of story. Oh and I love you 'my girl' ... she's awesome. There was a little bit more to it but basically hard and fast as a mother knows her daughter best. It's what I needed to hear.

 

Hard but VERY true

 

Great advice from your mom. More than anyone ever will, she will always have your best interests at heart.

[crystal_lostheart]

ha! ha! Not exactly. I guess I would want to throw something if I still cared a great deal but I don't. It just made me want to walk out of the meeting. Our affair has been over for almost a year so I'm sure he isn't concerned about whether his words mean anything to me or not. But it surprises me that he doesn't wonder what it would make me think of him when he says things like that. A few weeks ago, I suggested to him that maybe once their kids are out of the house, he and his wife could get reaquainted. He said that would never happen. Yet he says things like that in a meeting - it's so pretentious. He seems to want everyone to think their marriage is so great. Boy, could I fill them in....

 

Sorry you had to listen to that BS .... Jerk. I worked in the company (part time) that my xMM is the director of. I left. Couldn't do it. Now I just work my full time job (on holidays at the moment!!), which is enough for me anyway. And next Thursday I am going away for a week or so with my BF, so I will be well away from him in another state.

[fooled once]

Crystal, great advice from your mom!

 

Mom's are great --- they know so many times the right things to say, without it coming out condescending and "told you so"!

[crystal_lostheart]

Crystal, great advice from your mom!

 

Mom's are great --- they know so many times the right things to say, without it coming out condescending and "told you so"!

 

So True!! They honestly do know best

[Angel1111]

Sorry you had to listen to that BS .... Jerk. I worked in the company (part time) that my xMM is the director of. I left. Couldn't do it. Now I just work my full time job (on holidays at the moment!!), which is enough for me anyway. And next Thursday I am going away for a week or so with my BF, so I will be well away from him in another state.

 

Yeah, it was a huge misstep on my part. I knew him for 2 yrs before anything happened and he had a spotless reputation. I didn't think he'd chase after an employee in his company unless he planned to leave his wife. What an idiot I was. Other than having to listen to the kind of nonsense I had to listen to yesterday, I really like my job. I wish I had never gotten involved with him. I've looked for other jobs but nothing ever pans out. Oh, well, live and learn. It's good that you were able to leave your job.

[Confused4Now]

Yeah, it was a huge misstep on my part. I knew him for 2 yrs before anything happened and he had a spotless reputation. I didn't think he'd chase after an employee in his company unless he planned to leave his wife. What an idiot I was. Other than having to listen to the kind of nonsense I had to listen to yesterday, I really like my job. I wish I had never gotten involved with him. I've looked for other jobs but nothing ever pans out. Oh, well, live and learn. It's good that you were able to leave your job.

Angel1111 are you bitter about it? I've always enjoyed your posts and responses to threads and felt you've always put in the right input. I'm just curious? Are you dating now?

[Angel1111]

Angel1111 are you bitter about it? I've always enjoyed your posts and responses to threads and felt you've always put in the right input. I'm just curious? Are you dating now?

 

Thank you. I'm glad you've enjoyed my posts. No, I'm not bitter at all. I'm just sorry that I got involved with him because it has complicated my life so much. I keep asking myself what was I thinking. I'm much more cautious about relationships than I ever was, which isn't a bad thing. I'm not dating right now because I've all my life, I've jumped from one relationship to the next. It hasn't served me very well. This time is just for me and I'm really enjoying it. I think I'll be ready to date sometime this year, though.