like my penpal way too much

[DanielH]

We talk through email and instant messenger everyday. And because of that I have developed feelings. But she lives on the other side of the world and has a boyfriend. (is it weird that someone with a boyfriend would communicate with someone else so much?). She had the boyfriend before she started talking to me. Like today we talked online for about four hours.

 

What should I do:

(a) tell her, see what happens

(b) tell her we need to email less, not say or lie about why

© tell her we need to stop, not say or lie about why

(d) b or c but be honest about why

(e) carry on, you'll get over it

 

Or something else. I would really just like to get over this but she has become so close that I feel it would be wrong to stop talking to her. Also she sent me a Christmas present so I'd feel rude if I told her to bugger off so soon after.

 

Thanks.

 

This has been bugging me for like six months. F*** I am such a loser.

 

(have also posted this in general relationship discussion, was unsure what was more appropriate)

[Rollercoasterr]

Think about it this way. Even if she did leave her boyfriend and persue things with you, you already know that it's nothing for her to spend every day talking to another guy. Do you want to take the risk of you being the boyfriend and another guy playing the role you are now?? I don't think you would.

[You'reasian]

We talk through email and instant messenger everyday. And because of that I have developed feelings. But she lives on the other side of the world and has a boyfriend. (is it weird that someone with a boyfriend would communicate with someone else so much?). She had the boyfriend before she started talking to me. Like today we talked online for about four hours.

 

What should I do:

(a) tell her, see what happens

(b) tell her we need to email less, not say or lie about why

© tell her we need to stop, not say or lie about why

(d) b or c but be honest about why

(e) carry on, you'll get over it

 

Or something else. I would really just like to get over this but she has become so close that I feel it would be wrong to stop talking to her. Also she sent me a Christmas present so I'd feel rude if I told her to bugger off so soon after.

 

Thanks.

 

This has been bugging me for like six months. F*** I am such a loser.

 

(have also posted this in general relationship discussion, was unsure what was more appropriate)

 

Ask her if she's into open relationships?

 

If she's got a boyfriend but is spending a long time talking to you, it could mean that she's not into him and that talking to other guys on the side is common for her.

[DanielH]

Think about it this way. Even if she did leave her boyfriend and persue things with you, you already know that it's nothing for her to spend every day talking to another guy. Do you want to take the risk of you being the boyfriend and another guy playing the role you are now?? I don't think you would.

 

We live so far apart that she wouldn't leave him. Also the only indication that she also likes me is the amount we talk. he content doesn't suggest that, so she probably doesn't like me that way.

 

It's hard to put myself in that position that you mentioned. Probably wouldn't like it. But that isn't me in the position.

 

Ask her if she's into open relationships?

 

If she's got a boyfriend but is spending a long time talking to you, it could mean that she's not into him and that talking to other guys on the side is common for her.

 

She is fairly religious so I doubt the open relationship. I'm sure she would like her boyfriend but I just don't know how much. I get the impression that boyfriends are more like accessories where she is. I don't mean that in a mean way but just everyone has one and they move between them fast. She has been with hers for a couple of years though. I'm 20 and never had a girlfriend and lots of my friends haven't.