LonelyGuy85 Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 About a year ago i cut out a lot of friends from my life because they made me feel so worthless all the time. The problem was that between that and unemployment i have yet to develop any other real friends. I realise that there are things i want to try in my life that i missed out for years but my lack of friends had stopped me from doing most of it. About a 4 months ago i had a panic attack and have had a sort of second wind. I really want to try new things but i am lacking the confidence to do them on my own? Has anyone else gone through something like this? What did you find was your general outcome? Link to post Share on other sites
ordinary_girl Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 I did. I wanted to travel lots and lots and work in Africa. It wasn't likely that I would find anyone that wanted to do exactly the same thing so I ended up doing it by myself and met a lot of very cool people on the way. what are your plans? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LonelyGuy85 Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 That's the point. I just don't know anyone who wants to try and do similar things as me. Even little things that require little to no effort. I am definitely lean towards travelling and with a bit of luck i might just get somewhere. I feal like an oddball at the moment; i want to try new things but other people seem happy enough doing the same things day in and day out. Last week, during the middle of the night i went down to my local beach, in the freezing cold and took a dip, by myself. I have to admit it wasn't planned at all, and it was only because i had trouble sleeping that i did it. The water was freezing but it felt so good afterwards. It may only be something little, but at the moment it's the little things i hold onto. Link to post Share on other sites
ordinary_girl Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 a lot of people are afraid of being spontaneous because it takes away the power of planning. I struggle with that too to some degree, although now that I met so many cool people on my travels (as you would do), I feel much better about being a bit different. Even though I am back in London where everyone is busy with their social diaries, I find little pockets of resistance There are people out there like you and you will meet them more often if you are prepared to live the life you are fantasizing about. Link to post Share on other sites
PlumPrincess Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Try Couchsurfing: http://www.couchsurfing.org Plenty of spontaneous and open-minded people there. There should be a local community that organizes events that you can join or organize something that you want to do with others. Post that you are bored and someone who is also bored will surely want to join you for a drink. I have closer friends, but they are pretty busy or simply don't seem to like the same things as I do. I'm totally bored with having "friends" with whom I'm not able to do anything in my spare time and I don't mind having loose connections with people who I would not necessarily call friends, but who share the same interests as I do. Besides, I've come to realize that I find waiting for people to want the same things as you do is a waste of time. Sometimes it's just better to do things that you really want to do on your own. A couple of months ago I decided that I was going to finally learn Salsa, without a boyfriend and without friends, because all this waiting for people was not leading anywhere, and I have to say it's one of the best decisions I made this year. And sometimes the best times to do things like traveling for a longer period of time is when you don't have a lot of friends. I didn't know that many people when I was a student, so it was pretty easy for me to go abroad a couple of times, because I didn't really care about anybody at home (my family was really getting on my nerves at that time and I was very eager to get away from them... ). When you have a good social environment and you get attached to people it gets harder. Sometimes I'm lazy or a bit afraid of doing something new and then I tell myself that life is short and that I should try everything at least once (I allow myself though to exclude bungee jumping and similar things). I think it's a very good personal rule. Edited December 30, 2009 by PlumPrincess Link to post Share on other sites
PlumPrincess Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 By the way, there's this line that James Spader's character in the film "Secretary" says that I really like. He confesses to his secretary that he is shy (she is also shy), but that he overcomes it in order to accomplish things. It's a really nice movie: http://www.secretarythemovie.co.uk/html/cast.html Link to post Share on other sites
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