Here is something I Learned

[1life8love1trust]

"Love is a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life: other times is stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves, either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it."

 

With that said how do we all feel now?

[RadioGuy]

Like I miss her still.

 

But nah, I'm thankful for the experience presented to me.

[1life8love1trust]

I feel you dude, I still miss her myself. You never know though....

[curiousnycgirl]

Now I feel even more like sh*t - geez. Sorry but I can't take this kind of vulnerability again - I'm done.

[carolinawanderer]

There's some truth to this. When my ex left me, she said she was so glad to have known me and been in love with me. But she could just never be truly happy with me.

 

Sad - she knew how devoted I was to her. We would have a problem, and I would work on it and fix it. We did so much with and for each other. But love just does not last all the time.

[madrugada]

Oh, I miss her still. Always will.

 

My ex said the same things to me - she was glad to have known me and I changed her in many ways.

 

I'm glad to have had the experience. It's just sad that we all have to go through this much pain. I wish there were a switch I could throw to make the hurt go away.

[1life8love1trust]

I felt the same, curiousnycgirl when I first read it. Its been a little over two months for me but its best to get all that emotion out now rather than later having it all bottled up trying to move on, but the best thing to do is cry it all out until you cant do it anymore.

 

I remember when a friend had past away and all I could do was cry, I tried to be a man and stay strong and not show any emotions, but it just made it worst. Believe me it still hurts its only been 2 months. Plus she has a new guy, already? 3 years?

 

The more I let my emotions try to take over my subconsciousness keeps getting stronger. I actually started joking around again with my friends again. Started living my life again.

 

Still love her though....

[curiousnycgirl]

I guess if I could figure out why he didn't want to try anymore - if he said anything. If he responded to my heart felt note.

 

Lots of ifs and lots of questions, no answers. Doubt I'll ever get any either.

 

I just don't understand why he chose to hate me, and worse how can I love him so much knowing that?

[RadioGuy]

If you want to throw it even more for a loop... add the:

 

"I really want to be with you. I do. It's just not our time right now."

 

That'll make your brain explode.

[1life8love1trust]

Curiousnycgirl

 

May I make a suggestion? I know that its hard for you right now, as a matter of fact its hard for me right now too, but what have you done so far? Have you accomplished anything? I mean for yourself? I hope you have not lock yourself in your room crying. Anyways I hope you are not calling in sick from work or school. And I hope your not neglecting your friends.

 

One thing that I recommend for everyone is to grow. I mean Personal Development. I have been working out alot myself and I lost a good 25lbs over these past to months. I got my eight pack forming.(Finally, who knew, leaving me was the key to an eight pack.) Anyways I also buried myself in work and reading. I learned so many things that put me in a better understanding.

 

I you are interested though I got a book you should look at. Same goes for anyone else. I got some good books that help me.

 

Even though I read them its still hurts, but I understand why it hurts.

[DenverBachelor]

If you want to throw it even more for a loop... add the:

 

"I really want to be with you. I do. It's just not our time right now."

 

That'll make your brain explode.

 

This is exactly why I don't date time travellers.

[TaraMaiden]

The only time things like this work, is if they resonate within you sufficiently to completely accept them as true, and live by them.

if you encounter, or manifest any kind of resistance, then they're just words on a page.

 

messages like this are like a scalpel.

Effective if sharp enough, but merely destructive and painful, if blunt and inadequate.

[DenverBachelor]

"Love is a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life: other times is stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves, either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it."

 

With that said how do we all feel now?

 

Every moment of our lives regardless of our relationship status is subject to vulnerability. We just forget or conveniently brush aside the statistics involved. Each time we get into a car, there's a small chance we'll end up dead. Every time we ride an elevator, we place trust in the building's management that the elevator has been inspected and is running correctly.

 

Love may be free flowing energy, but it is also something that we can control to some extent. We can't control if someone chooses to leave us, but we can control who we choose to be with. We have two major obstacles with regards to love -- one is understanding what we really want and the other is being able to understand what the other person is really giving us. The former is often muddled through our own insecurities and the later is often muddled by our misconceptions. Although you might look at the sky and call it orange, your significant other might see a shade of yellow.

 

We'll never understand or know another's deepest thoughts. For that matter, we struggle enough with our own. Dating, in my opinion, has a lot of parallels with religion -- so much of it is based on faith without the ability to prove anything one way or another. I've never seen God, but I believe God exists. I've never seen tangible love, but I do believe it exists.

 

Just keep in mind that all our actions do continue to echo through time and that when we make a conscious effort to love another unconditionally, that type of love doesn't ever die. It may get beaten and tortured, but that's the only thing we can ever give to another human that means so much. We place ourselves on a precarious ledge and sometimes the ledge breaks and we fall.

 

Ironically, after all I have been through over the past year and a half, I still possess that unconditional love for her. It's been nuked, sprayed with acid, incinerated by fire, etc. -- but it is the only thing I know that is indestructible. It is the only thing that makes us truly human yet greater -- on the level of a God.

 

We do not have the luxury of forgetting, but we do have the capacity for forgiveness. Unfortunately we often forget to forgive ourselves.

[TaraMaiden]

When I worked with a relationships/counselling organisation, they explained that Love has three aspects:

Eros,

Philos

and

Agape.

 

Eros is the physical, sensual erotic love which is a component of a strong and healthy, loving relationship. When it's pure....

Philos is the meeting of minds, the exchange of opinions, views, information and intellectual nourishment, that generates interest and stimulates admiration - When it's pure.

Agape - is the Unconditional selfless love that puts the other person first, and generates qualities of Loving kindness, equanimity and joy. This cannot be anything other than pure.

 

The moment you bring an agenda into the relationship, you create an impurity in these first two types of love, and obliterate Agape all together.

 

I too have never tangibly felt love, but have seen Love in action.

 

the story is long, but briefly, a Tibetan monk who, having been released from a twenty-year imprisonment by the Chinese, and ho during this time, was subjected to unspeakable, inhuman, unbelievable torture, was asked what he had feared the most.

His reply was that his greatest fear was that he might have lost his Compassion for his Chinese captors.

 

now that - Is Love.

 

Notwithstanding that the person was a monk, and he had no romantic involvement with his captors, this is nonetheless the selfless level of Love we should try to cultivate within our hearts and minds for others.

When you do this, there is no way you can be inwardly unsettled, even if externally, your life is in utter turmoil.

You sit as calmly and solidly as a rock, in the midst of a December ocean storm.... and simply wait for the gale to abate.

Once it does, and all is calm again, you are still there.

[DenverBachelor]

His reply was that his greatest fear was that he might have lost his Compassion for his Chinese captors.

 

now that - Is Love.

 

It takes a really special type of person to transcend the physical manifestation of the world and enter a place where he or she can really understand love and all of it's dimensions.

 

I remember once reading that love can metaphorically be described as a brilliant unbreakable crystal from which an internal light glows. The light pulsates as the relationship progresses and the good times and bad times are experienced.

 

The day after the court appearance, I looked inward and thought that the light within the unbreakable crystal had died completely -- but then I realized so long as I hold aspects of my unconditional love, it will never extinguish.

 

I need to find a good book on Buddhism that isn't tainted by the New-Age agenda.

[TaraMaiden]

can I PM you?

[curiousnycgirl]

Curiousnycgirl

 

May I make a suggestion? I know that its hard for you right now, as a matter of fact its hard for me right now too, but what have you done so far? Have you accomplished anything? I mean for yourself? I hope you have not lock yourself in your room crying. Anyways I hope you are not calling in sick from work or school. And I hope your not neglecting your friends.

 

One thing that I recommend for everyone is to grow. I mean Personal Development. I have been working out alot myself and I lost a good 25lbs over these past to months. I got my eight pack forming.(Finally, who knew, leaving me was the key to an eight pack.) Anyways I also buried myself in work and reading. I learned so many things that put me in a better understanding.

 

I you are interested though I got a book you should look at. Same goes for anyone else. I got some good books that help me.

 

Even though I read them its still hurts, but I understand why it hurts.

 

Actually I have been working more - was supposed to be off the last two weeks of the year, but I needed to focus on something, so right now work is the best thing for me.

 

I also finally got to a doctor and diagnosed for my constant pain (another unhappy thread) and am now in my second week of physical therapy which is focussing on getting me in a work out routine. Oh I WILL lose this weight.

 

I'm also doing other things for ME - things that he would not "approve" of, like I have applied to adopt a dog from a rescue (he was opposed to rescue only wanted purebreds so you knew the genetics of your dog), been spending way more quality time at the barn with my horse, and once I get the leak in my roof fixed I will be painting my house all kinds of colors that I like and he hated!

 

So no I am not sitting around crying - I am doing lots of stuff. My challenge is that at some point someone will say something, or a memory will flash in my head and the waterworks start. It's happening less often, but it still sux.

 

Oh and he hasn't told his son yet - so he keeps calling me (he never calls his father, always me). I'm trying to keep my chin up, but that is very hard too.

 

But hey thanks for asking!

[1life8love1trust]

Tara and Denver, if you guys got together, forum wise that is and throught what you shared , what a wonderful kid you guys would have. I think I had a seizure reading what Denver wrote, than I ventured further down the threat and tara shared some more, and thats when my mind blew up and time traveled back.....LOL

 

So this stuff is awesome, what book are you guys reading? Whats the name of that monk?

 

curiousnycgirl

Glad your doing well. You have a barn with horses? How freakin awesome!!!!

 

"This will make Perfect Sense Someday."

[mizundastud]

If you want to throw it even more for a loop... add the:

 

"I really want to be with you. I do. It's just not our time right now."

 

That'll make your brain explode.

 

 

Wow....thats the line that was thrown my way and what pisses me off is that in saying that it sounds so heart felt when I would rather hear something mean so atleast I could let off some steam....HA

[curiousnycgirl]

Glad your doing well. You have a barn with horses? How freakin awesome!!!!

 

"This will make Perfect Sense Someday."

 

I only have one horse thank G-d because that is often more than I can handle.

 

Until I can put the pieces of the puzzle together in my own head, this will never make sense. And since I cannot get there - and I'm not going to speak with him, I guess I'm stuck on senseless stupid!

[thatguy90]

Wow....thats the line that was thrown my way and what pisses me off is that in saying that it sounds so heart felt when I would rather hear something mean so atleast I could let off some steam....HA

 

Mizundastud, I have to say that I have had that line thrown my way to, and I felt the same, I can take some one saying "This won't happen" rather than saying "Sometime in the future".

 

The best thing you can do to get over your guy, go to the gym, go out and do different, something new and exciting, go out and get a manicure for yourself because you are important.

[TaraMaiden]

Tara and Denver, if you guys got together, forum wise that is and throught what you shared , what a wonderful kid you guys would have. I think I had a seizure reading what Denver wrote, than I ventured further down the threat and tara shared some more, and thats when my mind blew up and time traveled back.....LOL

 

So this stuff is awesome, what book are you guys reading? Whats the name of that monk?

 

curiousnycgirl

Glad your doing well. You have a barn with horses? How freakin awesome!!!!

 

"This will make Perfect Sense Someday."

 

Actually DB and I have 14 children, but we pawned 7 of them to pay the rent.

 

For my part, let me put it this way:

Whatever resonated, I followed.

[1life8love1trust]

Actually DB and I have 14 children, but we pawned 7 of them to pay the rent.

 

For my part, let me put it this way:

Whatever resonated, I followed.

 

 

LOL

So whats up with Xena? Sorry I am new. Are you THE warrior princess?

Cause to let you in on a secret I am Hercules.

[TaraMaiden]

A fellow member called GrayClouds baptised me with the dubiously distinctive description of 'a cross between a new-Age Buddhist Monk and Xena the warrior princess'. I would say that it's got something to do with the fact that (1) I am Buddhist, (2) I tell it like it is, because it is what it is, and (3) because I wade in, club swinging and blade slicing for a good ol' no-nonsense approach.

Which has at times caught me over-stepping the mark and cutting it fine.

But that's sword-play for you.....

 

But I found a suitable avatar, and the rest as they say, is History.

[DenverBachelor]

Actually DB and I have 14 children, but we pawned 7 of them to pay the rent.

 

For my part, let me put it this way:

Whatever resonated, I followed.

 

 

I thought we only pawned off six? Which one did you have to sell last week? We're going to have to make more kids quickly because apparently they're raising the rent. We might be able to buy a few extra months if we pawn off our prettiest one.

 

We might need to start looking at E-bay, too.