What do Christmas gifts say about a relationship and the giver's feelings about us?

[Tony T]

LoveShack member "yes" brought up a very interesting aspect of the Christmas season in another thread that I've always wanted to explore.

 

Does the thoughtfulness, originality or value of a gift say something about how the giver feels about us? In other words, if we receive a small box of candy, does our partner think less of us than if we received a piece of jewelry or a nice coat?

 

Does a gift of any kind say something about how much the giver values us or feels about us?

[moimeme]

Does the thoughtfulness, originality or value of a gift say something about how the giver feels about us? In other words, if we receive a small box of candy, does our partner think less of us than if we received a piece of jewelry or a nice coat?

 

It really depends on the person doing the giving and that person's philosophy about gifts. Some feel an obligation to give gifts and weigh value carefully. Others try earnestly to get gifts you'd like, no matter what the value. Some do their best to get gifts you like by getting you things they like. They are hoping to make you happy with something that would make them happy - kind intent, even if sometimes a little wrong-headed

 

So if your giver knows that you are absolutely nuts about a certain brand of candy and goes out of his/her way to get you that very candy, and if s/he knows that you have all the coats and jewelry you need or care to have, then it's a thoughtful gift. If, on the other hand, the person should have picked up on your tastes because they have known you for quite a while, but still buys you something you may not care for, then that can mean that they don't really pay attention to you much.

 

Does a gift of any kind say something about how much the giver values us or feels about us?

 

Not necessarily. It could mean that the person feels they ought to give a gift. Other people, yrs. truly included, are people who don't always organize themselves to do it. My very best friend and I have exchanged gift packages for Christmas and birthdays for years and years. Last couple of years, we bought the gifts but once I didn't get around to sending them until later and last year she did the same.

 

So, this answer isn't much help at all because it really boils down to 'it depends' !

[yes]

Since I brought it up, I'll reply here, too

 

I think the gift does say something about how the giver feels - it's not absolute though, one has to look at the giver and at the gift and at the circumstances to see what it means. Two things I think about are: 1) how well this person knows me 2) how much thought they put into what to get me (it doesn't matter how much it costs or whether I like it).

 

I always appreciate hand-made gifts the most - if somebody cooks or bakes for me, or knits for me, or draws for me, etc - I'm on cloud nine, even if I don't like the actual object

 

my 2c,

-yes

[Errol]

Yes.

[Errol]

No.

[Thinkalot]

Originally posted by yes

Since I brought it up, I'll reply here, too

 

I think the gift does say something about how the giver feels - it's not absolute though, one has to look at the giver and at the gift and at the circumstances to see what it means. Two things I think about are: 1) how well this person knows me 2) how much thought they put into what to get me (it doesn't matter how much it costs or whether I like it).

 

I always appreciate hand-made gifts the most - if somebody cooks or bakes for me, or knits for me, or draws for me, etc - I'm on cloud nine, even if I don't like the actual object

 

my 2c,

-yes

 

I'm with you ....handmade gifts are the BEST. They show thought and care and make me feel special. I take a fair bit of effort with the gifts I choose for my loved ones...I try to make them unique and special, so they feel special too! I think the gifts do say something, but that's just me.

[BlockHead]

Does the thoughtfulness, originality or value of a gift say something about how the giver feels about us?

A lump of coal, or a useless or broken item really shows how I feel about that person.

Let's include fruitcake.

[Arabess]

I think the person's financial situation has to be taken into consideration. Some people can afford more extravagant gifts than someone else....but it doesn't mean you are of any greater value to them than the person who may give you the lesser gift.

 

I do spend more TIME picking a gift for someone who may mean more to me.....but not necessarily spend more money than I do on someone else.

 

I also make these stupid cheese balls for quite a few of the young single sailors who are stuck on duty and can't go home for Christmas. I would LOVE to purchase them all something special.....but can't afford it. It doesn't mean I love them any less though.